Place Of Her Own (10 page)

“Katherine,” Shelton’s voice called out from behind the door. “May I come in?”

She set aside her sewing and opened the door. “What can I do for you?”

“I could use a favor, if you don’t mind.”

“What is it?”

“I’m wondering if you can take care of Mrs. MacKenneth’s livestock for the next two days.”

“I could try.” She wanted to ask why he couldn’t do it, but didn’t feel she had the right to.

“Thank you. Can I show you where I keep everything?”

“Please.” She followed him out of the house.

In the barn, Shelton showed her the sacks of grain and instructed her in how Grandma Mac liked to mix her pig slop. “Any questions?” he asked.

“Nope. Looks pretty straightforward.”

“I appreciate this. I’ll be happy to pay you for your time.”

Katherine placed her hands on her hips.

Shelton laughed. “I didn’t think so, but I was duty bound to offer.”

“You have a strong sense of duty and honor, don’t you?”

“I get that from my father. I know it doesn’t make sense, with his gambling and all, but he wasn’t always irresponsible. He taught us that a man’s word isn’t worth anything if he doesn’t back it up with his actions. I know you’ve only known my father when he was gambling, but there is another side to him.”

“Urias made sense the other night when he said you and Prudence wouldn’t be the people you are today if not for how your parents raised you.”

Shelton opened his arms but she didn’t step into his embrace. “Katherine, I’ve missed you.”

She looked at the hay on the floorboards and brushed it aside with her foot. “I’ve missed you, too.”

“I apologize if confessing my love for you made you uncomfortable.”

“There’s precious little you can do that won’t make me uncomfortable. But it’s not you; it’s me. Eventually, I will not be as uneasy around you.”

Shelton’s smile sent her heart beating faster.

“So, where are you going that you need someone to help with the livestock?” she asked, eager to change the subject.

“Urias is taking me fur trapping. He’s going to show me how to set traps, how to maintain them, and how to skin and prepare the hides. He and Mac bring in a little extra income that way. Once I purchase my own land, I’ll need to know what I can hunt and what is marketable.”

“Any more signs of the bear?”

“Not that we’ve seen or heard about. Hopefully it went back to the woods.” Shelton leaned against a post supporting the upper loft and chewed on a piece of hay.

“You’re looking pretty relaxed today,” she observed.

“I am. I feel like my prayers are finally being answered. I should hear from the bank soon. I’ve been looking at some properties, but so far I haven’t found one I’m excited about.”

“What are you looking for?”

“Enough land for the horses to run and graze. Also enough to grow the grain for their feed. Hopefully a property with a house already built on it. Otherwise, my parents won’t be able to move out here until next spring. I’m not sure they’ll make it through the winter in Hazel Greene.”

Katherine stiffened. A knot the size of a feed bucket tightened in her stomach. “I still find it hard to believe that your father squandered away all his money.”

“You’re not the only one. It’s so out of character that he’d get caught up in gambling. He taught Prudence and me to be wise with our money. I guess sin is an all-consuming thing.”

“How does one know the difference between sin and love?” Katherine covered her mouth with her hands. She hadn’t meant to say that.

“Are you ready to talk about the past?”

She shook her head.

“Then let’s not attempt to answer that question now. Later will be soon enough.” “Shelton, its not you.”

“It’s not you either, Katherine. It’s sin that’s been done to you.”

Katherine balled her hands into fists. “Do you know?”

“I suspect—because of how afraid you are of men—that one or more … took liberties with you.”

Katherine nodded and choked back tears.

“When you’re ready to tell me about it, I’ll be here. In the meantime, know that I’m praying for you, that I love you, and that nothing that happened to you will change my love for you.”

“I don’t deserve you.” She sniffed.

Shelton opened his arms. She snuggled into his embrace. “You deserve better than me, Katherine. You’re sweet and precious and I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered into his chest.

Shelton didn’t want to let her go. However, Urias was waiting on him. He hated the thought of leaving, especially now that Katherine was opening up her heart to him. But he had no choice.

He pulled slightly away from her. “So, have you ever helped a horse deliver a foal?”

“No.” Her gentle curls brushed under his chin. She stepped out of his embrace. “Are you concerned about Kate?”

“She’s showing signs that she’s about to deliver. She’s done it before, so there shouldn’t be any problems. But if it happens while I’m off fur trapping …”

“Perhaps you should tell Urias you’d prefer to go another time. He’ll understand.”

“I’m certain he will. But I want to have enough money—”

Katherine finished his sentence. “—to purchase your land.”

He shrugged.

“What’s of more value to you, the foal or a few furs?” “If you put it that way, the foal.” He looked out past the open doors of the barn.

“You need to be near Kate, just in case.” He looked back at her. “You’re right.”

“Remain focused on the overall plan.”

Shelton smiled. “Besides being beautiful, you’re a smart woman. I like that.”

Katherine wagged her head back and forth. “You’re impossible.”

“Me?”

“And a real charmer. I bet all the ladies back in Hazel Greene found you quite appealing.”

His own past flashed before his eyes. As much as he wanted to tell Katherine about it, the time wasn’t right. He decided to keep the moment light. “I can turn on the charm when I want to. But those women all bored me.” He winked. “I’ve been stuck on an Irish lass from my youth.”

Katherine blushed. “How can you be so certain about …” she whispered.

“Us?”

She acknowledged with a nod.

“I wasn’t, until I saw you again. I’ve been praying for five years, Katherine. I didn’t know if my love was simply a child’s fantasy or a real connection. Now that I’ve come to know you, I’m convinced this is real. However, I don’t believe we can rush into a courtship. As much as I’d love to take you in my arms and rush off to the parson, there is a time and place for us. I’m willing to wait. Are you?”

Katherine took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I don’t know how to answer that. Until last week I honestly didn’t believe I was fit for marriage. Grandma Mac is challenging me to remember God’s redemption and His forgiveness. I’m trying to hold on to that. I’ve lived a long time thinking I was worthless.”

“My sweet Katherine, you are worth more than rubies or finely spun gold. You are precious in God’s eyes and in mine, and I cherish your wisdom. I like discussing my plans with you. No one has ever listened to me and my ideas the way you do.”

“I find your plans fascinating.”

“You’re the first person I wanted to tell about the bank coming through on the loan. Not my parents, not Urias and Prudence, but you. I want you to be a part of my future. Would you do me the honor of looking over the land and properties I’m most interested in? I’d very much like your opinion.”

“You want me to help you decide on your property?”

“I’m hoping eventually it will be our property. I’m not looking for a commitment right now. I am planning for you to be my wife one day. But I believe we have a lot of work ahead of us before that can happen.”

“What kind of work?”

“Things like my being able to take your hand without you pulling away from me. Time is the best healer, and you have to learn to trust me, slowly and surely.”
In much the same way that I tame an unbroken horse.
“I’m willing to wait. We have time. Just be honest with me, and share your heart when you’re ready to.”

“I’ve never met a man so honest about his feelings.”

“I’ve never been this honest before. You bring it out in me, Katherine. You’re good for me in so many ways. I just pray I’m helpful to you as well.”

A single tear fell from her eye. “You are.”

He opened his arms and waited for her to walk into his embrace. Slowly she leaned into him and he cradled her in his arms. He inhaled that fresh scent that was uniquely hers. One day he’d be able to reach out and capture her in his arms. But it would take time to earn Katherine’s trust. And with God’s grace, he could wait.

Katherine wiped the tears from her eyes as she rose from her knees after spending time with God, talking to Him about all that had happened that day. Shelton wanted to marry her. She’d known it before. In fact, she wanted it herself. But some part of her didn’t.
How long before I can trust Shelton, Lord?

Katherine dressed and went down to the kitchen. Preparing breakfast for herself and Grandma Mac didn’t take half the time it took to prepare for Urias’s family.

“Good morning, dear. Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you. How are you today?” Katherine placed the eggs in boiling water to poach them.

“As fit as a woman can be when her bones ache just walking. Feels like a storm’s brewing. An early winter storm, if my joints are correct.”

“Anything I can do to help prepare?”

“I don’t think so. We’ve been keeping the chickens in the coop at night since Urias spotted those bear tracks. Mac’ll take care of things. Now, tell me how your conversation with Shelton went yesterday when you two were in the barn together.”

Katherine chuckled. “You don’t miss much, do you?” “Not much. You looked happy, but as if the world was resting on your shoulders.” “He wants to marry me.”

Grandma Mac’s eyes twinkled. “Well, praise the Lord! Did you say yes?”

“He didn’t ask me.” Katherine pulled the toast off the grill and strained the poached eggs, placing one on each slice of bread. The smell of the wheat toast stirred up her hunger. Grandma Mac’s favorite morning breakfast had become Katherine’s as well.

“I’m confused.”

“You’re not the only one.” Katherine explained how Shelton hoped they would marry one day, but he expected it to take some time before she was ready. “Does he know about your past?”

“I haven’t told him any details, but he figured it out, just like you did. I must be wearing a sign around my neck that says
Damaged.”

“Hardly.” Grandma Mac shook some salt and pepper over her egg. “It’s clear to those who love and care about you.”

She knew she would one day have to tell Shelton the horrid details of the past if they were going to have a future together. She’d deal with that later, and with God’s grace she would somehow manage to tell him.

“Tell me, have you and Shelton kissed?”

Katherine sat back. Heat spread across her cheeks. “No. I can’t even hold the man’s hand yet.”

“I see.”

Did she? Katherine certainly didn’t understand her own fear. “I’ve sought comfort in his arms, though,” she confessed.

Grandma Mac beamed. “And it was comforting?”

“Like nothing else I’ve experienced before.”

“Ah, child. I do believe Shelton is right; you will be married one day. Now, eat up. You’ve got to deliver those shirts to Creelsboro today. I asked Mac to send Shelton over to escort you.”

“You are a matchmaker.”

“No, dear. God is the matchmaker. I’m simply providing moments when the two of you can talk and get to know each other.” She gave the table two light taps.

As Katherine ate her eggs, peace covered her like a blanket. God’s peace. Forgiving peace. Contented peace, like she’d always hoped to feel one day.

“You know, holding a man’s hand is mighty satisfying if it’s the right man.” Grandma Mac grinned. “I loved my husband with a passion that grew as we aged.”

Katherine blushed. “How can you talk about such things so freely?”

“God spoke about married love in the Bible. I figure if the good Lord saw fit to write about it, I might as well be willing to speak about it when the occasion arises.” She sighed. “After Nash—Mac, as you know him—had his first marriage fail, my husband and I decided we should be honest and open with our children about love and relationships. Nash’s first wife married him for his money, or the money she thought he had. They never got along. Over the years, she became a different person. Oh, I’m sure Nash did some things to provoke her. I’m not saying my son was totally innocent. But that woman, God rest her soul, could never be happy.”