Pink Flamingoed (29 page)

“What’s that, dear?” Minerva asked.

“I was just thinking this is probably the easiest I’ll
get to take it for quite some time. I think I’ll fight with the insurance
company and see about getting an extra couple of weeks in this place. The
food’s not much, but it’s quiet, except for feeding time.”

“Well, Nancy, remember what we told you. This baby
will have lots of parents and grandparents to help out,” Cora reminded her.

“Amen!” Minerva added, “Only it will probably be a
while before I can teach her how to shoot a paintball gun.”

The three women enjoyed a good laugh, and then Cora
and Minerva left so others could spend a few minutes with Nancy. Nancy, usually in the background, enjoyed her brief time in the limelight. At least she
was in the limelight when her youngest daughter was in the hospital nursery. Nancy knew her main role was that of a pastor’s wife and mother and teacher to her
children. Nancy did not relish the attention. A brief stay in the hospital was
all of it she needed.

As most of the neighbors stood in the lounge babbling
about the baby, Kenny slipped away and went back to the window to get another
look at his new sister and talk to her.

“You know, for a girl, you don’t look too bad. I just
hope you don’t grow up to be like Jill or Mallory.”

His father overheard him, and walked up and cast an
arm around his son’s shoulder.

“You know, Son. It’s just you and me. The others are
outnumbering us more each day, but you know. It’s not too bad.”

Kenny turned to his dad and smiled. No, it wasn’t too
bad. Well, sometimes it wasn’t too bad.

+++

The insurance company won. A couple of days later
Scott went to the hospital to pick up his wife and their latest child. The rest
of the Armbruster children ran excitedly to the door when their father returned
with their mother and sister. Each of the children got to hold their baby
sister for a few minutes, before their mother whisked Nikki off to her room.

Things were about to change in the Armbruster
household, at least temporarily. Scott sat down his troops for another rallying
session. The children were told how busy their mother would be for a while, and
how their father would divide his time between helping their mother and being a
pastor. Scott told his three oldest that all of them  would  have to fend for 
themselves,  which included fixing their own meals on occasion. Even Mallory
knew where they kept the peanut butter, and she knew how to make a sandwich.
This revelation was received less than enthusiastically, but each of the
children understood how busy their parents were and agreed to cooperate. Just
as the group bonding session was about to end, the doorbell rang.

Figuring someone had come to see the baby, four
excited people made a dash for the door. Scott and his three oldest children
opened the door and looked out, hoping the vision they saw was not a mirage.
Frank and Cora stood in front of them. If they had been bearing gifts of gold,
frankincense, and myrrh, they could not have made the Armbrusters any happier.
Instead of gifts fit for a King, Frank and Cora stood holding gifts for a
hungry family. By the time their car was unloaded, Frank and Cora had carried
in three casseroles, a couple of vegetables, bread, fruit salad, homemade
snacks, and a couple of desserts. Before these hungry souls had finished
devouring all that Frank and Cora had brought, other neighbors showed up
bearing more food. By the time the food stopped coming, it turned out that none
of the Armbrusters had to fend for himself or herself for a week.

After a week, with their mother still getting used to
taking care of a newborn again, all of the Armbruster children had perfected
the art of sneaking out of the house and showing up at one of the neighbors
just before mealtime with pathetically hungry looks on their faces. Neither
parent was aware of what they were doing. After Kenny had eaten enough to
regain his strength, he ventured over to Minerva’s to practice the art of
perfecting a paintball gun. Kenny was impressed that a woman so old could wield
an implement of that type with such skill. Kenny’s mouth flew open when Minerva
pointed out an acorn hanging from a tree halfway across the park, then
proceeding to change the acorn’s color.

+++

Nancy
stayed busy with
the baby, and thus stayed exhausted. Nikki was quite adept at waking up two or
three times each night and letting everyone else know that she was awake. In no
time at all, each of the other Armbruster children had perfected the art of
sleeping with his or her head under the pillow. Still, even this technique did
not work all the time.

Scott juggled his roles of being a pastor, a dad, and
a husband. From time to time, he relieved Nancy of her parental tasks, so that
she could take a much-needed nap. Each of the other children took turns holding
their sister, but was not much help in any area except rocking her to sleep.
Well, Jill could change a diaper when encouraged to do so.

+++

While changes abounded in the Armbruster household and
those houses at their end of the street, things went on much the same in each
of the other homes on Aylesford Place, except for those times when someone
thought to provide food or offer to help the Armbrusters.

Brett Stetson moved in, but caused less of a stir than
when Brad moved in, since most of the residents on the street were concerned
about the Armbrusters. Melanie, on the other hand, tried to be attentive to her
new neighbor without making a nuisance of herself. At times, Melanie struggled
with her new approach of how to act around men, but anytime she had a question
about what was or was not the way to act, she knew all she had to do was call
Cora.

Cora kept busy. Frank was able to do for himself, so
Cora used her extra time to check on the Armbrusters, counsel Melanie, and
check in with Amy from time to time to see how things were going between her
and Brad. In addition, Cora agreed to head the Thanksgiving  dinner 
celebration at church, which was scheduled for the Sunday night before
Thanksgiving. Everyone could celebrate with their church family, and then spend
time with their blood family, if they had one. Unlike Christmas, much of Aylesford Place remained in place during Thanksgiving week.

Thanksgiving was still a few weeks away. While Good
Samaritan Sunday was Pastor Scott’s idea, the next of the street’s festivities
came courtesy of Cora. Cora had an idea, and when Cora had an idea, nothing on
God’s green earth could stop her. After sharing her idea with Frank and
receiving his approval, she picked up the phone and called Ethel. “Ethel, can
you get away for a few minutes without you-know-who finding out about it?” A
few minutes later, Ethel rang Frank and Cora’s doorbell.

Because so many people lived on Aylesford Place and
all of them were friends, none of them ever gave a birthday party for any of
the others. But Cora thought it was time for a change, and the first birthday
celebration should be a surprise party. Harry seemed like the most likely
candidate for one of those. Not only was Ethel elated about the possibility,
but when Cora called the rest of her neighbors each of them thought it was a
wonderful idea. Especially when Cora mentioned an idea to bring gag gifts, as
well as getting Harry a gift he would enjoy. Everyone was so excited about
“doing unto” Harry. Cora watched as many of her neighbors left the street to go
shopping. Other than grocery shopping and going to the hospital to visit Scott
and Nancy’s new addition, the last time that many of Cora’s neighbors left the
street at one time was Valentine’s Day, when many of them went to Martinelli’s.

+++

The day before Harry’s birthday, Cora talked on the
phone with many of her neighbors. No one was willing to share what he or she
got Harry for his birthday. Everyone walked around all smiles, eager to do unto
Harry once again. While Harry seemed to be the butt of more jokes than anyone
else on Aylesford Place, at least this time he would receive something for his
trouble.

+++

Harry whistled as he walked up the street, not needing
to worry about the wind blowing his hair. Cora had stepped out on the porch for
a moment and decided to have a little fun with him.

“What are you so happy about today? Did the IRS audit some poor soul?”

“Today’s my birthday, Cora.”

“Really! How old are you,? Eighty?”

“Very funny, Cora. I’m only sixty-seven, which means
I’m less than ten years older than you.”

“Well, you look a lot older.”

Harry decided to ignore Cora’s remark, and began to
needle her.

“So, what’re you getting me for my birthday, Cora?”

“I don’t know. Have you had your shots? I’d be glad to
pay for them if they don’t cost too much. Especially that rabies shot.”

“Not only haven’t I had my rabies shot, but I’ve been
sharpening my teeth in case I ever catch you and your flamingo on my property.”

“Do you do that after you take them out of the jar in
the morning, or before you put them in it at night?”

“I have you know I have all my own teeth. Anyway, just
stop by after you buy my present. I’ll have Ethel check it to see if it’s safe
to open.”

Cora could hardly keep a straight face as she returned
to her house and told Frank about her conversation with Harry.

“Boy, will he be surprised when everyone shows up
tonight,” Frank interjected.

“Yeah, and I like it that we’ll be interrupting
Wheel
of Fortune,
” Cora replied.

+++

Everyone had agreed to meet at Frank and Cora’s a
little before 7:00. Much to his dismay, Ethel insisted that Harry eat his
birthday dinner at the kitchen table instead of eating it off a TV tray while
he watched
Wheel of Fortune.
Ethel always fixed Harry whatever he wanted
for his birthday dinner. Because Harry was so frugal, he generally opted for
meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Ethel and Harry finished dinner a few minutes
before 7:00. Harry ate quickly because he did not want to miss any of
Wheel.
Just after Harry plopped down in his chair and picked up his remote control,
the doorbell rang.

“Who in tarnation can that be,” Harry asked. “And just
as I’m about to watch
Wheel
. Don’t answer it, Cora.”

“But I have to answer it, Harry. What if it’s
important?”

“What if it’s burglars?”

“Harry, burglars don’t ring the doorbell. They wait
until you’re gone or asleep and break in.”

“Maybe these are burglars who know I’m watching TV.”

“They still wouldn’t ring the bell, Harry. I’m going
to see who it is.”

“Oh, darn it. Is the tape in? I want to be taping,
just in case.”

“Yes, the tape’s in.”

Harry reached and hit the record button, just as Cora
opened the door.

“Did you see who’s bugging us, Ethel?” Harry asked
before he turned around.

When she did not answer, Harry turned around to a
chorus of “surprise.”

“What in the world are all of you doing here?” Harry
asked.

Cora raised her hands and the group began to sing.
Harry could not believe that everyone had showed up to celebrate his birthday.

“We knew no one else would buy you anything, Harry, so
we went shopping for your birthday,” Cora said.

“Ethel, you might want to shake everything and run
water over it before I open it. I don’t trust these people.”

Harry’s neighbors gathered in a semi-circle in front
of his chair and one at a time they handed him a present, beginning with the
gag gifts. Doc went first. Harry studied the wrapped present. It felt like a
piece of cardboard. Figuring it was fairly safe to open it, Harry unwrapped it
to discover an eye chart.

“Is this your latest book, Brad?” Harry asked, and
then laughed at his own joke. Harry looked at it a moment, and then tossed it
aside.

Mallory went next and handed Harry a small, square
box. He decided a child was harmless, so he opened the box to discover some
novelty store teeth.

“Just sit them on the table and turn the key on the
side,” Mallory suggested.

Harry did so, and the teeth began to chatter.

“Reminds me of Cora,” Harry remarked.

Cora handed Harry her present.

“Here, this will improve your looks.”

The box was long and flat. Harry studied it for a
moment, but decided Cora would not hand him a bomb with so many of the street’s
other residents in the room. Harry opened the box and looked at what was
inside.

“What in the world is this?” Harry asked. “It looks
like the head for a dust mop.”

“And it is, Harry, only in this case it’s for your
head. I’m tired of the glare from the sun reflecting off your head every time
you walk past my house.”

“Doesn’t anybody have anything for me that doesn’t
have to do with aging?”

“I do,” said Kenny. “Only be careful when you open
it.”

“That a boy, Kenny. I knew you were better than all
these adults,” Harry said as he received the boy’s gift.

Harry unwrapped the present. The holes in the lid
should have been a clue to him. Harry lifted the lid and jerked back against
the back of his chair when a frog sprang for his chest.

“Get this thing off me.”

Everyone laughed at Harry’s dilemma.

“I guess I should’ve gotten you the ant farm instead,
but I didn’t because the glass was cracked,” Kenny said. Everyone laughed
again.

Neighbors continued to hand Harry gag gifts until
Harry had opened them all. Then it was time for the good stuff. Harry opened
boxes that contained house slippers, shirts, handkerchiefs, and candy. Jill got
Harry a copy of the first book Brad wrote, and Norman gave Harry an anthology
of Edgar Allan Poe’s works. All that remained was Frank and Cora’s gift.

“Here, Harry. I think you’ll like this,” Cora said as
she handed him their gift.

Since the latter gifts were an improvement over the
first ones, Harry was not reluctant to open a rectangular box. “Looks like
video tapes,” Harry said when he got the box opened.

“They are, Harry. These ten tapes contain game shows
from the ’50’s and ’60’s, all in glorious black-and-white. There’s
What’s My
Line, To Tell The Truth, I’ve Got A Secret, The Price Is Right, The Name’s The
Same,
and
Make That Connection
, among others.”

Harry looked at the box and began to cry. No one had
given Harry so special a gift before. Harry’s tears were contagious. Only
sniffles  could  be  heard  until Harry reached up and hugged Cora. Everyone
laughed when Harry said, “Cora, I take back everything I ever said about you.”

They laughed again when Cora replied, “Harry, I’m not
taking back anything I said about you.”

Harry looked over his new treasure and Allison
announced that she had baked Harry a birthday cake. Ethel put up a card table,
and Chuck lifted the cake out of the box and sat it on the table. Even Harry
laughed when they noticed the white icing with pink flamingos on top.

“It’s those blasted flamingos again,” Harry said,
stating the obvious.

“You ought to be glad Allison baked the cake, Harry,”
Cora said. “If I’d done it, it would have had an old crow on it.”

Once again, Cora had come up with a wonderful idea.
Everyone blabbered like they had not done since the Christmas caroling party.
Finally, around nine o’clock neighbors began to leave. After everyone left,
Harry sat and looked at his new tape collection. He could not believe he had in
his hands some video tapes containing game shows that were on TV when he was a
teenager. His mind drifted back to the days of his youth. A few minutes later
he remembered to stop taping.
Wheel of Fortune
and
Jeopardy
had
long since ended
.

+++

Early the next morning Harry sprang from his bed and
dashed for the TV.

“What are you doing?” Ethel asked, knowing full well
what Harry planned to do.

“I’m going to watch some of my game shows that Frank
and Cora got me.”

“Just remember, Harry. Cora said there was eighty
hours worth altogether. That means there are one hundred sixty game shows.  
While  that  sounds  like  a  lot, you need to save some of them to watch this
winter when you’ll be complaining because you don’t have anything to do.”

Reluctantly, Harry agreed. Besides, he planned to take
a break at 11:00 to watch
The Price Is Right
, with Bob Barker, and he
still had not watched the previous night’s episodes of
Wheel of Fortune
and
Jeopardy.

Harry plopped down in his recliner, eager to watch his
tapes. He pushed the “play” button on the VCR, and smiled as the opening
credits for
What’s My Line?
flashed upon the screen. As a teenager,
Harry watched
What’s My Line?
every Sunday night, and continued to watch
it after he and Ethel married. The show on the tape Harry watched originally
aired in April 1962. Harry watched as the panelists tried to guess each
contestant’s occupation. The first man was a cable car operator from San Francisco. He stumped the panel. With Harry being more at home in the era the show
aired than the one in which he now lived, he did not think it out of place when
the men and the audience whistled at the pretty, young woman who was the second
contestant. Harry laughed when he found out she was with the IRS. She definitely did not work where Harry used to. Harry would have remembered her.

Harry remembered the game show well. He knew there
would be a mystery guest who would try to stump the blindfolded panel. Harry
wondered who it would be. He did not have to wait much longer. He was not
disappointed. Casey Stengel made a rare TV appearance. He was most noted as the
manager of the New York Yankees, but when the show aired Casey had switched
teams and was managing a fledgling baseball team, the New York Mets.

Next up for Harry was a June ’62 episode of
I’ve
Got a Secret
, another one of Harry’s favorite shows from the past. Harry
watched as each contestant tried to stump the panel with his or her secret.

Harry decided to watch one more show before taking a
break. He squealed with delight when he found out it was his all-time favorite
game show,
To Tell The Truth,
where three contestants claimed to be the
same person. It was up to the panel to see who was telling the truth.

+++

Cora could contain herself no longer. Just before
lunch, she picked up the phone and called Ethel. Cora laughed when Ethel asked
how soon Cora could deliver another batch of tapes. Cora asked about Harry’s
itinerary for the day, and Ethel told her that Harry had come up for air once,
but only briefly. Ethel thanked Cora again and gave Cora a play-by-play on how
much Harry had enjoyed his gift.

+++

Over lunch, Harry fretted over how to ration his new
tape collection. It had to last him through the winter. Harry planned to watch
three more episodes that afternoon, then put the tapes away until another day.