Piecing Together Sydney (A Sydney West Novel Book 3) (7 page)

It was ten in the morning, and I was on my second pot of coffee. Jason never came out of our bedroom. I had to sleep in Amelia and Hunter’s room after changing the sheets. Actually, I wasn’t sure if lying in a bed for hours staring up at a ceiling counted as sleeping. Dreamland’s gates wouldn’t open for me. My brain was too focused on Jason, and the stress kept my eyes wide open. I didn’t have the heart to call Ellie and tell her about Jason, I didn’t want her to hear how concerned I was for him. I texted her that he was still distant, but I was not giving up. She hadn’t replied.

I was going back and forth in my head if I should leave the house and do something alone, like cruise through LA and maybe hit my favorite record store, or demand Jason let me into the room, even going as far as taking the damn door down. Though I wasn’t sure how to do that. Maybe go to a hardware store and buy an ax that’s kept in those emergency cases for fires in office buildings?

“Maybe a coin would help.” I grabbed my purse from the counter and dug out a quarter from my wallet. Just as I was about to call it and flip, Jason walked through the doorway.

He was a complete mess. His sexy, wavy hair was flat on one side like he laid on the bed and didn’t move for hours. His beautiful silver eyes were swollen and rimmed in red. There were line imprints on his cheek, further evidence of lying on pillows and not moving.

“Hey, babe. Do you want some coffee?”

“Mmm,” was all he said as he dragged himself to the coffee pot, pouring what was left into his mug.

I licked my lips and looked at the shell of a man who was once so alive and amazing. Then it hit me. Jason always went surfing when things got tough. Maybe that was the key.

“Do you want to catch some waves?” I tried to act innocent and not reveal I had a plan.

He didn’t bother to sweeten his coffee and drank it black, his face screwed in disgust as it went down his throat. “Sure, but I thought you didn’t surf when the sun was up high.”

God, he was so fucked up yet he remembered I didn’t like to surf when the sun was mid-sky due to being burned.
How should I take that?

“It’s fine. I have sunscreen.”

He nodded and abandoned his mug on the counter. I followed him up the stairs, half-thinking he was going to cave into himself again and be locked in the bedroom all day. He did go into the bedroom, but left the door open. I peeked inside to find him digging in a drawer, pulling out his swim trunks. I sighed in relief and went to the drawer where I kept my bikini. We changed together, but facing away. He stood by the mirror, messing with his hair. I leaned against the bed, struggling to tie my top behind me.

“Need help?” His voice was low, rough. It wasn’t smooth and warm, turning my knees to jelly.

“Yeah.” I let the ties go and crossed my arms across my breasts to keep the top in place. He grabbed the strings and made a tight double knot. It was never coming off now. “Thanks.” I turned back around and reached for his arm, trying to keep him from going back into lockdown mode.

His phone chimed; someone texted him. Jason moved away from me and dug through all the pillows on the bed until he found the cell phone crammed between the bed and the headboard.

I took the sunscreen from my dresser and applied it to my legs, arms, face, and chest. Jason huffed and tossed his phone onto the mattress. Every fiber of my being wanted to peek at his phone to see who messaged him. It could’ve been his father. I doubted he had Jason’s number. Judging from the scowl on his face, I bet it was Kylie talking about their old man.

It was my turn to use the mirror, trying to apply the sunscreen to my back. Jason took the bottle without a word and applied the lotion for me. He then put sunscreen on himself and gave me the bottle back, turning so I could do his back. I squeezed out a pool of cream and touched his hot skin, tracing the tattoo of eagle wings and every muscle that moved.

We gathered our boards and hit the road without speaking. The radio played between us. I drove to the beach with a heavy heart. This man beside me looked like Jason, he smelled like Jason, but he wasn’t
my
Jason.

The ocean was perfectly warm and the waves were incredible. About five other surfers were on the water when we paddled in. Last summer, Jason and I stayed close and usually rode the same wave. Now Jason was moving away from me and pulling himself to his feet to catch the newest wave. I sat back and floated on my board, watching as he cut through the water and did a back flip. He was good. His face was sketched in determination as if he was going to murder the wave and anyone who got in his way.

I caught the next wave and hung five, feeling that natural rush only Mother Nature could give. Jason was standing on his board with his hands. The other surfers whistled and cheered for him. He never showed off like this…it was something I’d do, not him.

The surfers created a circle around Jason, all clapping. A girl with bright red hair tied in a pony moved closer to him and touched his arm. I was too far to hear what they were saying, but everyone was smiling, including Jason.

Another wave reached for the sky, rushing toward shore. It beckoned to us surfers. We all broke for it. I paddled as fast as my arms could, cutting Jason off.

“What gives?” He shot me a mean look like I ate the last piece of pizza he’d been eyeing.

“What do you mean ‘what gives?’ You’re being an ass to me.”

He blew me off and moved around my board. Another wave was building yards from us. Jason looked at the wall of water and then me. “You’re jealous. If you can’t take the waves, leave.”

I licked the salt off my lips. Two could play the cold game. After all, my heart was made of ice.

The wave swelled to about five stories high. I went into the barrel and cut through the water like a hot knife through butter, coming out just as the wave crashed. Now those surfers clapped for me.

That led to a surfing showdown for the next hour between Jason and me. We each tried to outdo each other’s tricks, even after those teen surfers got bored and left the beach.

As Jason shot through a wave, he turned too fast and wiped out. I’d never seen him eat it before and couldn’t help but laugh as the water pulled me to the shore. Jason was on his hands and knees, his board next to him on the sand.

“That was…something,” I said, walking toward him.

“Fuck you, Sydney!” Jason got up and shot daggers with steel silver eyes. I stopped in my tracks. My heart fell from my ribcage to my feet. “You happy I wiped out? Laugh your ass off!”

“Hey! I was joking.” I stuck my board into the sand and placed my hands on my hips. If he wanted to fight, bring it. I never backed down.

“Whatever. I’m going back.”

“Jason, can we talk? Please…I’m worried about you. You’re not acting like yourself.”

He turned and closed the distance between us within a heartbeat. “Not myself? Funny.” He was nose to nose with me now. “I never felt more like myself than today. Maybe you don’t know me.” With that, he ran into the ocean’s arms and was gone.

Maybe you don’t know me.

Those words cut the string that kept my broken heart whole.

Hadn’t I said the same thing when he was chasing after me? When he wanted me to believe he loved me?

What if I didn’t know the real Jason? This was something I’d never seen coming. Was this what Ellie and Kylie dealt with so long ago when Daniel first left? I couldn’t be with this man. He was too much like the old me. Too much like the past I was putting behind me.

So Jason broke down your walls only to stab you right in the heart. Great job, Syd.

Shut up, stupid voice!

Maybe you were better off the way you were. Not too late to break things off and pin down a new summer boy.

No. I’m not doing that!

The ring on my left hand felt like a five-pound weight. I twirled it around my finger as an emptiness washed over me.

Jason returned to the sand and shouted something at me. Maybe he was coming back to clear the air and say he’s only mad about his father and not me.

He spoke again when he was a few yards away. “Waiting for me to crash again?”

I felt my eyes widen. “No. I’m—”

“Sydney, give it a rest. Why don’t you go find another…what do you call them…summer boy?”

His words were venom, and it added fuel to my hate fire.

“Don’t you fucking talk to me like that, Jason King! I gave my heart to you and you turn into a dick because your daddy came back? My father was an asshole too and guess what, I got to watch him die! How do you think I’m dealing with it? How do you think I feel? Yet here I am.” I pointed to my engagement ring. “I changed my ways and even said yes to marrying you.”

“Maybe that was a mistake…”

I fought back my tears and turned my anger to high volume. “You know what…I hope a shark eats you!” I took my ring off and lifted it above my head. A beat passed as we both stared at each other.

Jason didn’t say anything, but behind all that anger I saw sorrow deep in his eyes. I clenched the ring and pointed at him. “Don’t come back to my beach house. I don’t want to see you anymore today.”

I picked up my surfboard and walked to my car. Part of me wanted Jason to follow me and say how sorry and wrong he was. That our fight was frivolous and he’d kiss me, melting away this pain shooting through me.

No one caught up with me and I didn’t look back. I put the surfboard on the rack on the roof and started my Charger.

So much for happily ever after.

I drove home pissed, blasting In This Moment’s album
Blood
. No one was home yet, so I took time to crumple. I cried and ripped apart wedding magazines. Glossy pictures with happy brides floated all around me. I sat crossed-legged in the living room shaking from frustration, sorrow, heartbreak, and I didn’t know what else.

The front door opened, and the air was filled with Amelia’s giggling. It stopped abruptly once she came inside and took in the scene before her.

“What the hell happened?” She rushed to my side, sitting next to me and brushing my hair away from my tearstained face.

“Jason and I got into a fight.”

Hunter stood by the couch, unsure what to do.

Amelia looked over at him and gave him a grim smile. “Honey, do you think maybe—”

He nodded. “Yeah. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Hunter went back outside, maybe off to his house to give us space. I was left confused with Amelia fussing over me like I had broken my leg. “Where is he going?”

“To find Jason. Now, what happened here?”

I sighed and tried to get up. She helped me to the couch and sat next to me, keeping a hand on my knee.

“Last night was going well. Ellie and Kylie came over for dinner and we were talking about the wedding.” I dropped my gaze and stared at the torn pages around the room. “Then the doorbell rang and Jason’s father, Daniel, entered our lives.”

Her jaw dropped. “W…what?”

My bottom lip trembled. “Then it was a domino effect after that. Kylie was so happy, Ellie was concerned, and Jason was beyond pissed. I mean angrier than a cat getting a bath and going to the vet in the same day.”

Her hazel eyes blinked rapidly as she stared at me, probably trying to wrap her mind around the events that unfolded as she and Hunter did whatever they were doing.

“Jason locked himself in the bedroom and didn’t come out until this morning. I slept in your room. I suggested we go surfing since that helped him get his mind off things, or so I thought. We ended up surfing against each other for these stupid teens, and then we got into a fight. He told me to go find a summer boy, and I told him not to come back here. I then took off and haven’t seen or heard from him since.”

Amelia scanned the room. “My God.” She wiped away a tear with her finger. “Shh, Sydney. We’ll get through this mess.” She pulled my arm, forcing me to lay my head on her shoulder. I accidently hit her left boob with my hand when trying to get myself to sit up a little. Amelia hissed in pain, holding her breast.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t—”

She patted my hair and kept whispering things to me, calming me.

The darker part of me, the girl who hated love and enjoyed trouble wanted to go to a club and find that summer boy. I’d fuck his brains out and show Jason how cold I could really be. But what would that solve? It made no sense to go screw some random guy to get back at my fiancé because he was having a mental breakdown when his long-lost father returned.

Jason had never hurt me before. I felt like he had scooped out a huge piece of my soul and left me hollow. My father already took a huge chunk of me. If this was the end and Jason kept that piece of my soul, how much of me would be left?

“I’m going to order Chinese, and we’re going to watch movies.” Amelia leaned over me and grabbed my phone since it was the closest.

“What about Hunter?”

“He can deal without me for a night. He’s a big boy and has his own house here, remember? Tonight is girls’ night.”

I nodded. That’s probably where the bastard Jason was going to stay. Wow, that escalated fast.