Pieces Of You & Me (17 page)

Chapter 28

Liv

Greyson:
Where are you? Are you up for movies tonight? I want to take you up on that date night.

Shit. I had been in my room after rushing back from school in dire need to think. He had been heading out with Jet after school, but time and time again, he always surprised me with little treats, like this one.

Me:
Sorry, lover boy, have a lot on my plate. Rain check?

People at first wondered where the playboy in him had gone, but as the time went on, people were saying that he was trying to woo me. Little did they know that he had captured me, hook, line and
sinker.

At one point, my mom had given me a little pep talk about Greyson. She said if there was something going on, I should let her know. She didn’t have anything against him, however she had wanted to make sure I was fine. I didn’t fully admit that there was really something between Grey and me, but I did tell her that Grey had treated me like a queen so far. After I had said that, she’d trusted my decisions, and if I was ready to tell her, she was always going to be there whenever I did spill the beans.

She wasn’t slow, she had known something was up, but she was being gentle at her approach about the subject, and I greatly respected her for that. She was perfectly aware there were several things going on in my life. There was my major move to a different continent coming up, finishing school, and different sorts of boy problems to top the cake.

Greyson had been patient, understanding that I didn’t want a label, nor did I want to discuss anything that dealt with the future. I liked to live in the moment, and he was happy to comply for the time being.

I went to sleep, thinking and hoping that I would know how to solve my current problems. No matter how great Mom was willing to be about Greyson, I wasn’t sure of how Brett would react, and that weighed on me heavily.

The next thing I knew, I had woken up, sweating as if I had a fever. Reaching for the bottled water on my nightstand, I tried to think and breathe rationally, but my heart rate failed to decline. It was thumping against my chest as well as ringing in my ears while I tried to rehash what I had just dreamt about.

Sliding out of my covers, I slowly got out of bed and moved towards the window, looking over to Grey’s pool house. Was he home?

It was one in the morning, however even on school
days, sometimes he would spend his night with Jet. He was an avid racer and I wasn’t. It was scary to think of him driving those swift curves in the canyons, but it was his passion. Even if I begged, which I wouldn’t, I knew it was one thing he wouldn’t give up.

His place was dark, but that didn’t stop me from going over to it. Even if he wasn’t home, I wanted to be around his things, his smell… anything of him would comfort me right now. Reaching for the door handle, it opened without a hitch, and I was greeted with silence as I walked around his living room area.

When I strode over to his bedroom, I was surprised that there was light reflecting from underneath the door, indicating that he was, in fact, home.

Rushing towards it, I yanked the door open, and I was greeted with him patching up something on his forehead with the sink water running.

“What happened?”
I freaked, my eyes full of fright as I watched him wash a large, gushing cut just above his left eyebrow.

“Had a fight. No biggie,” he said as he plastered a Band-Aid on his cut.

“What fight? Maybe you need to go to the ER to get that stitched up?” Jesus. What the hell had happened to him?

“Jason Holt made a stupid comment about you leaving for Sydney and shacking up with your boyfriend. Apparently, he and Edith have been quite close and she spilled some juicy details to him.”

“Oh.” Jason Holt, football team captain, who I also had gone on a couple of dates with. Nothing happened.

Grey spun around, looking pissed off still. “So I had to shut him up. He was telling lies and I didn’t appreciate it. Not one fucking bit.”

Jason wasn’t really that far off with his tale. “You didn’t have to hurt him.”

He reached out to me, cupping my cheek. “Sydney is a no-go, right? Tell me he’s wrong?”

I couldn’t lie to him. My future had been all planned out. “I’m still going,” I finally whispered to him, eyes pleading, hoping he’d understand.

“Can’t you change schools? I was thinking of us going together to USC or UCLA or something… I want to be near you.”

I shook my head, hating myself for causing the hurt in his eyes. “I have everything planned out. That’s why I couldn’t talk about anything regarding the future with you.” I remembered Edith’s threats and I knew I had to kill two birds with one stone; I had been given the perfect opportunity.

His face dropped. “Haven’t the past months changed your mind? Haven’t I been important in your life?” His voice shook. “You’ve been the center of mine, Olivia.”

“Grey, can we just—”

“What? Take it one day at a time? Forget about it? What?” he gritted out, eyes full of pain.

“I don’t know what to say—”

“Say something that would make me feel less like shit!”

I was starting to get frustrated, but I knew I had made tons of mistakes with him. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“You’re sorry?” He brushed past me, striding towards his bedroom as he drastically took his shirt off and threw it on the bed. Furious didn’t even cover it. “Look at me!” He tapped on his chest. “I’m fucking balls deep in love with you!” He swallowed.
“Can’t you see that?”

Maybe I had, but I had refused to acknowledge it. I shook my head, denying all the feelings that were evoked in me. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“I’ve always been in love with you… but you still refuse to acknowledge it.”

Deep down, I knew he had. His words, his touch, and the way he looked at me always entailed that he did, but I continuously refused to see it. “Grey—I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” I licked my lips, buying time. “What do I do now?”

He looked away. “I don’t know,” he huffed out. “I just told the woman I love that I love her like crazy and all she had to say was ‘I’m so sorry’. So I don’t know.”

“Grey—please.” I tried to reach out to him, but he refused my advances.

“
Don’t
—just fucking don’t,” he said with his back to me. “I need to think.”

His tone drained my face of blood.
“For how long?”
I whispered, scared.

“I don’t know anymore, Olivia.”

I nodded, even though I knew he couldn’t see me do it. “I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk.”

Greyson barely acknowledged my words, so I stood there a while, hoping he would change his mind. After five minutes longer of him speaking without words, I knew it was my cue to leave.

If he needed space, I was going to give it to him. If he needed time, I would provide that, too. How long would it take him to come back to me, though?

Chapter 29

Grey

“Need some company?” Edith gestured at the seat next to me, but I remained silent. I didn’t want anyone’s company. The only one I could tolerate was Jet and that was about it.

“Nah, I’m good.” I shook my head before standing up, ready to leave the beach party.

“I’m always here for you, baby. Don’t forget that,” she called out after me.

Her eagerness didn’t help with my sour mood. If things had turned out differently, I would still be happy right now.

It was Valentine’s Day today. It had been a week since I had spoken to Olivia, not from her lack of trying. Her messages were left unanswered, her smiles were not acknowledged, her attempts at making small conversations were brushed off.

Maybe I was overreacting, maybe I wasn’t. All I knew was that she didn’t love me. That alone was enough to fuck me over.

Jet kept telling me to swallow my pride and keep on loving her, but I fucking couldn’t. She was leaving in four months. Where would that leave me then?

The thing that really got to me was how willing I had been to change myself. Fuck, I had even gone as far as submitting college applications. I had never had any plans to go spend four years at some university, but none of that had mattered when I’d thought of Olivia. I had known she liked educated men. From what I had seen with Liam, the guy was primed to make something of
himself in the future. If that was the kind of guy she liked, then I could try and be that, too.

Stupid me, thinking that I was good enough.
I was never going to be enough. Not for her anyway.

At some point in time during these past months, I had really believed that something meaningful was being shared between the two of us. Each time I had kissed her, each time I’d touched her, I had felt her come alive. How was it possible that she didn’t feel
that connection?

“’
Ey, yo, Grey! Got some new snow,” Scrap, the hometown dealer, greeted me. It seemed that he was bringing the party to life.

“Nah—I’m cool, man.”

He looked me over, skeptical. “You sure, bro?”

Was I sure? Fuck, I wasn’t sure about anything anymore. “Okay, give me an eight ball.”

After our quick exchange, I made a quick exit. I really wasn’t feeling it. Something inside of me felt like it had been switched off. Nothing was making me happy. Certain things that had usually gotten a reaction from me, now merely received a shrug, and then I kept things to myself.

For seven days, I had felt like I was dragging myself into a dark abyss, but I knew, sooner or later, even when my mind was protesting, my heart would reach out to her.

I could only put up so many barriers for so long; the day would come where she would bring it all down.
Just like that
. It had happened before and it would happen again.

Going home wasn’t really what I’d had in mind. In fact, I was thinking of going to the plateau, but I somehow ended up parked right outside my house.

Four bottles of beer usually did nothing for me, but since I had drunk it on an empty stomach, I was feeling the buzz pretty well.

The second I entered the pool
house, I strode towards the music system and switched it to a song that I liked before turning on the lamp. Bright lights I couldn’t deal with right now. I slung myself on the couch then, with my eyes closed, I listened to the beat of the music. None of it helped my troubled mind.

Pulling out the powder from my pocket, I stared at it a while, thinking about the last time I had used. It had been right after I’d spoken to my mother. Speaking of which, she had sent me a message today, demanding that she see me for dinner sometime that week. I hated her, but I always ended up seeing her anyway.

Call me a coward, however a tiny part in me yearned for her love and attention. It always won me over; though there was only a puny chance she would ever warm up to me.

Shifting into a sitting position, I opened the clear packet and poured the snowy, powdered form onto the crystal coffee table. I found a dollar bill in my pocket that I rolled into a makeshift straw. Bending over just enough for the bill to hover above it, I pressed on the side of my right nostril before my left sucked on the haphazard line I had made for myself.

It burned my nose and my throat then I felt it travel all the way to my lungs. The sensation was rapid, working immediately through my bloodstream. It didn’t take long until I felt it hit me, numbness and a sense of ease wrapped around me as I shut my eyes closed, loving the substance working through me.

Maybe what I need is a weekend alone
, I thought. Just as I plotted where I wanted to head out for the weekend, my door was yanked open, and in came my heart’s worst enemy.

Fuck. I didn’t want her to see me like this. What the fuck was she doing here anyway?

“What do you want?” Why hadn’t she said anything? What was she doing just staring at me like I was a monster?

“Greyson… you’re not using… I mean, why?” She was stuttering, trying to get out the questions in the middle of her shock.

I felt so bad for her that I wanted to give her a big hug, but fuck, I knew I shouldn’t. I couldn’t.

“It is what it is. Want some?” Like I would give her any. Besides, she was Miss Goody Two Shoes. She wasn’t damaged like me.

“No! I don’t want any of it. In fact, I’m going—”

Oh, hell to the fuck no. I knew what she was getting at. “Don’t you fucking dare touch it—unless, of course, you have other forms of entertainment? If not, leave me
be.”

She gasped, staring at me wide-eyed. “
Entertainment?
”

God, she was so beautiful it hurt. Why couldn’t I find anything I hated about her face or body?

“Dance. Strip. Fuck me. Get my drift?” I wasn’t really planning on getting her riled up; I merely wanted to see how long she’d last. I didn’t want her here, and yet I couldn’t get enough of staring at her.

To this day, I was held mesmerized and captivated by her.

She looked at the scattered powder on the table then at me, biting her lip as if she was deep in thought.

All the while, I watched her think. Even in my high state, my pain was amplified.
My need for her quadrupled. One would think I would be numb from it all, but no… everything had been magnified, making me all the more vulnerable to her. All I had was my smart mouth and my resistance to protect me. Could I really go through being in the same room with her without reaching out, begging for her to think again; that maybe she could find it in her heart to love me back?

“If I do as you ask, will you stop using that?” She nodded towards the table.

She really was considering it? My, she was changing fast. The old Olivia wouldn’t have batted an eyelash at that request. She would have sent me straight to Hell.

My throat bobbed. “Yes,” I rasped out, excited and petrified beyond comprehension. I knew this wouldn’t end well, but the thought of having her again surged something powerful in me. My cock was the first to surrender.

“I don’t…
dance
.”

I quirked my brow, not buying her bullshit.
“I’ve seen you dance plenty of times.”

She bit into her lip before releasing it again. I watched as the blood surged into its wake, giving her a kissable, cherry lip.

“Not like this—like a stripper.”

“I wasn’t asking for one. Just give me what you got, I’ll settle for that. The floor is all yours, baby.” I needed a drink, something cold to cool down my body.

She heaved out a sigh before gently pulling down the zipper on the top of her matching sweat suit. Inside she wore a satin, cream bra, which she left on. She then slowly pulled her pants down, showing me her matching cream underwear. Once she was out of her clothing, she looked over to me skeptically, as if waiting for me to give her directions.

“If you don’t want to do this… it’s fine by me. I don’t want to force you into anything.” It was the last thing I needed, her feeling like I was using her. I wanted this to be a mutual understanding between the two of us, nothing less.

She strolled towards me, eyes sharp, as she looked down on me with her bra and panties on.

“Don’t get me wrong, I
want
to do this, but I don’t want all this bullshit. If you want to fuck, let’s get it over with.”

Now it was my turn to become intimidated.

Olivia had never been the aggressive one. It had always been me taking the initiative. I found it a turn on and a little frightening at the same time. “Come get what you came in here for then.” I lifted my hips, offering myself to her.

Her delicate fingers unfastened my pants. She pulled them down all the way to my knees along with my black boxer briefs. I think my mouth might’ve been hanging open because I was seriously having
a hard time breathing. Her innocent way of trying to be sexy and her plain determination was an intoxicating combination.

When she saw how hard I was for her, she kept quiet. The only thing that was telling me that she was nervous was her lip biting. Other than that, she was calm, as if she had done this before. I knew I was the only one, though, and even if we weren’t on the greatest of terms, I prided myself on that simple fact.

After she pulled her underwear down, she hesitated for a bit before grabbing my cock. I had to bite back a moan, loving the feel of her hand on me. I wanted to touch her—God, how I wanted to fucking touch her, but I couldn’t. Not when I knew I simply couldn’t stop myself from wanting that alone—I wanted it all. So to hold back from the urge, I placed both of my hands behind my head, intertwining my fingers together as I watched her work me up.

Up and down she stroked me. Softly. Gently. After a few minutes of her innocent and yet effective ministrations, she stuck out her tongue, curling it on the bottom of her lip as she shifted to straddle my lap.

Gazing down at me, her ice blue eyes darkened as she lowered herself onto my hardness. Gradually, I felt the wet heat of her core slowly opening for me, giving way as she gasped, holding back a moan as she gently sheathed me with her hot heat.

Jesus.
Fuck me to the moon and back
, I thought the moment she bottomed out and I felt my dick pulse inside her. She was tight, so tight I had no idea if there was space to move around much, but God, was she wet for me.

She then started rocking on me; slowly at first, holding back emotions as I remained in my stubborn pose, not willing to touch her.

“Greyson,” she choked out before throwing her head back, riding me a little roughly now.

Olivia looked beyond fascinating riding me. I didn’t want to blink in fear that I would miss a single moment; a single delicious stroke that evoked the most beautiful expression on her face.

How the fuck do I get over her?
I worried as I longingly stared at her, enjoying what pleasure my body could give her. It was pleasuring me, too… but my heart ached. Soothing it with sex, no matter how amazing she felt, didn’t measure up.

I was in pain. No matter how I tried to make it go away, it remained in my heart, digging a grave in there.

Even though I was hard—too hard for her—I knew I couldn’t make myself ejaculate. With my broken heart, it seemed that everything was broken, too, including my sex life.

Her body slowly started trembling. She was close to coming as she gradually moved forward and tried to catch my lips for a kiss, but I moved my head to the side, not needing fake assurances—fake, in the moment comfort.

When she came, I felt her body tighten even more around me, choking the life out of my shaft, draining me dry as she yelped out a scream. After her orgasm, she dropped on my chest, spent and exhausted. I wanted to say something smart, something to provoke the situation, but she got to me first.

“This is my goodbye to you,” she breathed out. “Thanks for the memories.” It didn’t take her a minute to get off me. She took her underwear as she hastily put her clothes on.

I sat there, contemplating and speechless.

Memories; I had a lot with her, however it wasn’t enough.

“Goodbye, Liv.”
I love you
.

She gave me a serious stare. “I’ll see you around.” With that, she retreated, leaving me emptier than before she had barged in here. How was it possible to feel this crippled inside?

Breaking my promise with her, I reached out for the snow that was glittering at me with hope, but who was I kidding? I was a damaged guy. I was never going to be good enough for her. Deep down, I knew that, so why was it hard to accept the fact? Why did I always try to persuade myself that there was hope for me? Because I was a fucking idiot, that’s why.