Pieces of Us (20 page)

“It was that day that I realized I wasn’t good enough for you,” he said, almost mirroring my thoughts. “I hadn’t been patient, hadn’t waited for you and had faith in our love when you needed me to do that the most. That made me take a long, hard look at myself. I knew I’d have to become a person you could be proud to be with, who was worthy of your love. That’s why I didn’t pursue you for a long time, and when I
was
ready and believed I
could
be a person worthy of you, I came to see you, but you were gone.”

“You looked for me?” I always assumed Cameron didn’t care.

“Yes. The details aren’t important, but I did try.”

I wondered why he didn’t want to tell me more, but I didn’t push. I’d already learned so much that my brain was on overload.

“I
am
a good man now,” he said, looking at me through his long lashes.

I nodded but didn’t say anything. I wanted to believe he was a good man, that I hadn’t married someone capable of doing the things he’d done. Maybe the last five years had changed him — I just wasn’t sure.

He smiled and looked into my eyes. “I can be what you need now.”

I shifted in my seat. Cameron’s gaze never left mine, and the intimacy of his stare combined with his words made me extremely uncomfortable. I could avoid his flirting and innuendo, but a direct question would be difficult to evade. I hoped he’d never ask me to come back to him. I decided to lay out my position out so it was clear. Yes, it was true he hadn’t technically cheated, but did that even matter anymore? Regardless of the past, I was with Owen now, and I was happy.

“Cameron…” I said slowly.

“I like it better off,” he said with a small smile.

“Huh?”

He pointed to my hand. “I like it better off,” he repeated.

I looked down to where he was pointing and saw I’d been sliding my engagement ring on and off my finger. I stared down at the diamond Owen gave me and placed it back in position.

“This is where it belongs.”

The smile left Cameron’s face, and his knee began to bounce as he rubbed his hands up and down his thighs nervously.

“All I can offer you is friendship,” I said. I tried to say it nicely, with a soft tone and a half-smile, but the grimace on Cameron’s face told me my words hurt him.

“I know,” he said. “I just wanted you to know you have options.”

I nodded and stood up. “I should go.”

“No! Please stay!” he blurted. Then, after a moment, he sighed. “I’d rather have your friendship than nothing at all.”

I doubted whether friendship was truly possible for us, but he looked so hopeful, and I did like the idea of having him in my life.

Although I felt better knowing the details of his relationship with Lucy, I still hadn’t processed everything. It was a relief to confirm that there’d been no true affair, but he
had
slept with her after I moved out. Was I okay with that? Could I accept it? I didn’t know.

I tried to think of something to say to lighten the mood before I left. I glanced at him and again noticed the hint of wrinkles around his eyes. They reminded me how much of each other’s lives we’d missed.

“I can’t believe how old you are!” I said suddenly.

“Excuse me?” he asked with a chuckle.

I laughed while trying to cover my tracks. “I mean, how old we both are. When I’m around you I feel like I’m still twenty-two years old. And then I look at you now and…my God, Cameron, you’re
thirty!”

“And you’re twenty-eight,” he said with a shrug. He obviously wasn’t seeing what I found so astonishing.

“When we met I was only eighteen. We were just children then. We’re getting older, I forget that,” I said, and he smiled. “Can I give you some
friendly
advice?”

“Of course.”

“Sell the house.”

He studied my face for a moment, and I gave him a smile.

“It’s holding you back, keeping you stuck. I think it would be good for you,” I said.

He nodded sadly. “I’ll think about it.”

Suddenly his head popped up. “Do you want to see it again?” he asked.

I nodded. “Sometime.”

I was curious about the house. Peeking through the window had been almost surreal. I needed to say goodbye to that house properly — and goodbye to the person I was when I lived there.

“Why not right now?” he asked, walking across the room to his desk.

“Don’t you have work to do?”

“It’s almost the end of the day, and I had the whole afternoon blocked out for your visit, so I can take off a little early.” Then he used the intercom to tell his receptionist she could pack up and head home.

I looked at my watch in surprise. We’d been talking for almost three hours.

“Ah, sure. Okay,” I said, mostly because I couldn’t think of a reason to say no. I’d just get all of the past out of the way in one day.

***

A short time later I pulled up in the driveway behind Cameron. I waited for him to get out and open the front door before I came to follow him inside. I needed the extra time to prepare myself. I took in every detail as I stepped through the door and allowed my eyes to get accustomed to the indoor light.

Cameron kicked off his shoes and stood by the couch, watching me as I slowly made my way around the room, touching things softly and smiling to myself.

“It looks just the same.” I turned to face him, inhaling deeply and allowing the smells to take me back to the time when this was my home.

He shrugged. “Yeah, I never really changed anything. I like it how it is.”

“Can I?” I asked as I pointed down the hallway toward the bedrooms.

“Sure,” he replied, standing to walk down the hall with me.

My hand hesitated over the bedroom door handle before turning it and pushing the door open. The blinds were all drawn, so I could only make out shapes. Cameron’s hand slipped past me and switched on the light, brightening the room.

It was a little different than I remembered, but still familiar. The bed was in the same position, but the bedspread was different. There was now a large flat-screen TV on the wall opposite the bed, and the bookcase that had once been filled with dentistry text books now held novels of all shapes and sizes.

I let out a long breath and stepped into the room hesitantly. My gaze moved to the walk-in closet, and I opened the door and stepped inside. Cameron’s clothes were all still on one side and the other side — my side — was empty, apart from a few storage boxes stacked against the wall.

I could feel him standing behind me, his warm breath on the back of my neck, and I remembered being in this same position on Christmas Day, five years ago, when he pressed me against that wall and kissed me. I stared at the wall as if to bring the memory to life, but then shook it off and pushed past Cameron so I could get out of the closet. I suddenly felt suffocated.

Standing in the bedroom again, I saw something on the bedside table glint in the light. I walked over and picked up two gold rings: my engagement and wedding bands.

“You still have these?”

Cameron gave me a sheepish look and grabbed them from my hand, shoving them in his pocket.

“Sorry. I look at them sometimes,” he mumbled.

You keep them by your bed?
I let it drop. He looked embarrassed, and I didn’t want to make him feel any worse.

I turned to look at my old bed, the wrought-iron frame so familiar. A smile spread on my lips as I remembered how much I’d loved that bed, until an unwelcome thought entered my mind: I wasn’t the last woman to sleep there.

“Would you like a drink or something to eat?” Cameron asked, unaware of my thoughts. I followed him out of the bedroom and through the large archway into the kitchen.

“No, thanks. I should be going. Dad will be getting home from work soon, and I need to start on dinner,” I said, still thinking about Lucy in my bed.

Why had he kept those rings all these years? I knew I shouldn’t be surprised. He’d kept the house and had our wedding picture up in his office, so it wasn’t out of character. But there was something more personal about the rings.

“Oh, right, well…we don’t want to keep him waiting.”

I smiled at him. He was trying to make this friendship work, but I knew it was hard for him. And it was just as hard for me.

“Are we okay?” he asked, looking solemn for a moment. “About all the Lucy stuf
f
?”

I thought about his question. Was I okay with the fact that he’d gotten involved with Lucy? No. Was I okay with our conversation today? I thought so. “We’ll be fine,” I told him with an encouraging smile.

Cameron followed me out and waved as I drove off down the street.

I wasn’t sure how Owen was going to feel about it, but I felt like I owed it to myself, to my younger self, to give it a try. I was going to be friends with Cameron.

Chapter Eleven

Turning the Tables

“Should I put these boxes in the bedroom?” Owen called loudly.

I stuck my head around the doorway to see which ones he was holding. “Yeah, just put them in the closet, and I’ll unpack them when I’m done in the kitchen,” I called before going back to organizing the pots and pans.

“I think this is the last of it, Char,” Dad said, placing a large box on the counter.

“Thanks for helping, Dad. We really appreciate it. You should come over for dinner tomorrow night, and we’ll celebrate.”

“Sounds good, kiddo,” he said with a smile.

“Why don’t we wait until the weekend and make it a housewarming party?” Owen added. “I might invite some of the guys from work.” He’d arrived from Boston the day before, just in time for our move, and he’d start work in Hartford the following week. I was so relieved to have him here all the time — and in our own place!

“Yeah, sounds good.” I buried my head in the cabinet to put the last few things in place.

“I don’t know — Hartford boys?” Dad joked. “We’d better have some Fairfield guys too.”

Owen punched him in the arm and opened the fridge. “Sure.” He handed Dad a beer and got one for himself.

“Think we can get it organized for this weekend?” Owen asked.

I nodded, and Dad charged full steam ahead.

“I’ll call all the boys tonight and set it up,” he said. “You just get the food.”

Owen came over and kissed the top of my head, offering me a sip of his beer. I took the bottle from him and swallowed a mouthful before giving it back.

“This is a great house,” Dad said, taking a long drink from his bottle.

“Yeah, I think we’ll be happy here,” I said.

Owen slipped his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek. I felt a little uncomfortable in front of my father, but Dad’s smile made me realize he was happy. I smiled back and leaned back into Owen’s chest.

“I’m exhausted, so I might leave you kids to it,” Dad said, placing his beer on the counter.

“Are you sure? We’re gonna order some pizza,” Owen said, releasing me to pull his cell phone out of his pocket.

“Nah, you relax and get used to your new place,” he replied, giving me a hug.
“
’Night, Char.”

“Thanks for all your help today,” I said, hugging him back.

“Thanks, Michael,” Owen called as I walked Dad down the hallway and out into the yard.

“I’m glad you’re going to be around for a while,” Dad said when we reached his car.

“And only around the corner!”

“That’s even better.”

“Thanks again, Dad. Today would have been much harder without your help.”

“Let me know if you need anything else.”

After I watched him drive away, I turned and smiled at the house. It was great to finally have a place that was mine and Owen’s. Since my conversation with Cameron at his office, everything was going really smoothly. Owen seemed okay with the idea of Cameron and me being friends, as long as we didn’t hang out together alone, and that seemed like a good compromise.

I hadn’t seen Cameron since I left his house, but Bonnie had told me yesterday that he seemed happier than she’d seen him in a long time. I took comfort in that. I hoped he felt better because he’d gotten everything off his chest. He’d been carrying it around for so long. Surely he felt freer now.

I walked back through the front door looking for Owen, and I screamed when he picked me up and ran down the hall with me over his shoulder.

“We have half an hour before the pizza will be here,” he said, laughing and running to the bedroom, slamming the door closed behind us. The sex ban was officially over.

***

I looked in the shopping cart and raised my eyebrows at Owen.

“What’s all that?”

“We need everything!” he replied.

“Really? We need…” I counted the items in the cart. “Fourteen bags of potato chips?”

“Cops eat a lot,” he chuckled. “I want people to have fun at our party, and fun means plenty of food.”

“I agree we need to have enough food, but this is ridiculous!” I exclaimed as I pulled bags of chips out of the cart and placed them back on the shelf. “We’ll keep six bags.”

“Okay, six bags, but then can we also get pretzels?”

I laughed and nodded as he selected several bags. I loved how simple things were with Owen. He was easygoing and carefree, and I felt the same when I was around him. This was how I wanted to feel all the time.

“Charlotte, is this the replacement?” I heard from behind me. I turned and saw Lucy heading down the aisle with a menacingly fake smile plastered on her face.

I sighed and grabbed Owen’s arm to steer him away, but Lucy wasn’t having any of that.

“Hi,” she called out to Owen. “I’m Lucy, a friend of Charlotte’s from high school.”

“Nice to meet you,” Owen said cautiously.

“You’re being a little rude, Charlotte,” Lucy whispered.

“Owen, this is Lucy, my
ex
-best friend. Lucy, this is my fiancé, Owen,” I said stiffly, looking around to see if anyone was watching.

Living in a small town had many perks, but the fact that everyone knew everyone’s business was a drawback. The last thing I needed was gossip about Lucy and me getting around town, so I’d be polite, but get away as quickly as I could.

Owen gave me a curious look, and I nodded. I’d told him all about Lucy.

“Lucy,” Owen said, looking her up and down with a sneer. “Char, don’t we have to be somewhere?”

I gave him a smile and nodded. I was so grateful he was trying to help.

“Are you having a party?” Lucy asked innocently.

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“Oh, all the pretzels and stuff — unless, is that what you normally eat?”

“We just got our own place, and we’re having a housewarming party,” Owen said defensively, wrapping his arm around me tightly. I knew he was trying to be civil and defend my eating habits, but I groaned internally because I knew what was coming.

“Oh! I’d love to come and warm your new home.”

Owen and I stared at her. Was she serious?

“Sorry. I think you warmed Charlotte’s previous home a little
too
much, and I’m not in to skank,” Owen said before pushing the cart around to the next aisle.

He left Lucy and me standing in shock. I’d
not
been expecting that. A smile formed on my face, and Lucy scowled.

“I can’t believe he just said that to me!” she gasped.

“I can.” I followed the path Owen had taken and left her standing in the chips.

“That’s her?” Owen asked when I caught up with him.

“Yep.”

“
Her?”
he asked again.

“Yes,” I said, not sure what he was getting at.

“Sorry. I just can’t seem to wrap my head around this. Cameron had
you
— you were his — and he cheated on
you
with
her?”

I nodded.

“What the fuck was he thinking?” Owen laughed, shaking his head and throwing his arm over my shoulder.

***

A few hours later our backyard was full of people, and I was doing my best to be a good hostess, refilling drinks and bringing around snacks.

“Can you pass those chips?” one of the Hartford guys called loudly.

Another man threw the bag of chips across the backyard, and the guy caught it like a football and did a touchdown dance. I rolled my eyes and walked into the house to get more drinks.

With Owen’s new colleagues, as well as my dad and some of his work friends, it was like a police function in my backyard. I was grateful when the doorbell rang because it gave me an excuse to get away from the testosterone overload.

I opened the door and stepped back as Ryan pushed his way into the entryway followed by Sarah, Bonnie, a tall dark-haired man I didn’t know, and Cameron. I looked at them in confusion and Ryan gave me a sheepish smile.

I suspected Ryan would be coming since he worked with my father, but I didn’t know he’d be bringing the entire Harper clan along.

“Hi,” I said awkwardly. I knew Owen would lose it the second he saw Cameron. He’d agreed to me seeing Cameron in groups, but I doubted he meant in our own home.

“Hope you don’t mind — these guys tagged along,” Ryan said as he swung his case of beer up onto his shoulder and looked around. “Nice house.”

“It’s fine,” I said with a tight smile.

There was a chorus of hellos from everyone as we made our way through to the kitchen. Our sink was filled with ice, which I pointed out to Ryan so he could add his beer to the pile.

“The house is gorgeous, Charlotte,” Sarah gushed as she ran her fingers along the marble counter.

“Thanks. We like it.”

“This is Alex,” Bonnie squealed when I turned to her.

He was very handsome, not that I would have expected anything else from a guy Bonnie was dating, but he was
exceptionally
attractive. His dark hair was a bit longer than Cameron’s and curled slightly at the ends. His square jaw was covered in short stubble, and his green eyes sparkled when he looked down at Bonnie. He had a pair of thin-rimmed glasses balanced on his nose. He was much taller than Bonnie, but with his arm around her, it was easy to see they fit together.

“Nice to meet you, Alex,” I said, smiling warmly.

“Nice to meet you too. Bonnie talks about you all the time,” he said with a friendly smile. He took the beer Ryan handed him.

“Well, the party is out in the yard, so make your way out whenever you’re ready.” I pointed to the back of the house.

I tried to catch Cameron’s eye but he was absorbed in looking around the room. Butterflies flapped viciously in my stomach as I tried to envision Owen’s reaction.

“Can we have a tour?” Bonnie asked.

“Sure.” I held my arms out wide to showcase the room. “This is the kitchen.” As I walked through the house indicating the different rooms, Bonnie and Sarah oohed and ahhed, and Alex kept whispering in Bonnie’s ear. But Cameron hadn’t said a word since entering my house.

I looked over to him, and he smiled. Then just as we stepped into the living room, I heard my name being called.

“Charlotte?” Owen’s voice rang through the house. “Where’d you put the lighter for the grill?”

Bonnie groaned and rolled her eyes as Owen entered the room. I shot her an annoyed look, but she just gave me an innocent smile.

“Char…” Owen came into the room and saw the people standing around. His eyes fell on Cameron and went cold before flicking to me angrily.

“Why don’t you guys go get a drink while I help Owen?” I tried to maintain an aura of calm, but inside I was nervous.

Cameron gave me a quick look before following the others back toward the kitchen. Once we were alone, Owen walked quickly across the room to me.

“What is
he
doing here?” he demanded, pointing his finger after the retreating Harpers.

“I don’t know! Honestly, I didn’t invite any of them. Ryan brought them along.”

“I’m not happy about this,” he said in a warning tone.

“I know. I’m sorry. Do you want me to ask them to go?” I asked, hoping he would say no.

Owen sighed and took a deep breath. “No, I wouldn’t ask you to do that,” he said, sounding defeated.

“I didn’t invite him.”

“It’s okay. There are so many people here I’ll probably forget he’s around anyway. Why did we think this was a good idea?” he chuckled as he sat on the couch.

“You wanted to invite some of your work friends, and then Dad was excited, and it kind of got out of control.”

“Right. Let’s
not
do this again.”

“Deal,” I agreed with a laugh.

“How long until you think everyone will leave?” he whispered in a suggestive tone.

“Well, most of them have only just arrived, and we haven’t even fired up the grill yet.”

“So a while then?”

I punched his shoulder playfully. “A while, yes.”

“Come here, you,” he said, pulling me down to his lap.

I giggled and leaned down to kiss him softly, but he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest, deepening the kiss. His tongue swirled with mine, and he groaned as I shifted in his lap.

A cough behind us made me jump. I pulled away from Owen and turned to find Cameron in the doorway.

“Can we help you?” Owen asked, sounding annoyed.

“Sorry…ah, Bonnie wanted me to ask if you minded if she started getting the food ready,” Cameron said.

His eyes never left mine as he spoke, and I remembered how it felt when I saw him kissing Lucy. I immediately stood up and moved away from the couch so he wouldn’t have to stare at me sitting in Owen’s lap.

I glanced back at Owen, who folded his arms and stared at Cameron. This was not good. I had to get them away from each other.

“Why don’t you and I go help her?” I asked Cameron, walking out of the room and tugging on his shirt so he’d follow me.

I knew Owen would be angry, but I wasn’t going to leave them alone.

Cameron was silent as he walked behind me, and I searched for something to say. I knew seeing me with Owen must have hurt him, but this was my home. Owen was my fiancé, and I refused to feel guilty. Besides, I hadn’t invited him, and he had to know when he decided to crash the party that he’d see Owen and me together. He was pushing this friendship thing a little too hard.

But having experience with seeing the person I loved kissing someone else, I felt a certain amount of sympathy for him.

“I’m sorry you saw that,” I said when we reached the kitchen.

“It’s okay. I think I needed to see it. Maybe that’s why I came today.”

“What?”

“It makes me face reality,” he said quickly before moving away to help Bonnie with the food.

“Oh, Charlotte, good. Can I use this pineapple juice for piña coladas, or did you buy it for something special?” she asked, holding up the can from the fridge.

“You can use it,” I said as I watched Cameron.

I wasn’t sure how I was feeling. I only knew Owen must be angry with me now, Cameron was hurting, and I had a house full of guests I needed to entertain.

“Do you want one?” Bonnie called over the sound of the blender.