Phoenix (16 page)

“No, not really. I know I wouldn’t be if someone did

something like that to me,” Devon mused, sliding their

fingers together. It almost felt like Devon was being overly

flippant to Riley, though. It was unsettling.

“It was pretty fuckin’ awful,” Riley said, shaking his head

and leading Devon down to the courtyard. “Literally.

Dominic ripped his shirt off and shoved him into the dorm

hall, then was like
durr, told you she’s a girl
or some bullshit.”

Devon’s brows rose in surprise and he shook his head in

disbelief as they descended the stairs. “What a fucking

douche,” he said. Riley agreed with that sentiment in a

heartbeat.

“I don’t even know why I was friends with him to begin

with,” Riley said, annoyance obvious in his tone as they

reached the courtyard. He settled down on the wall,

watching as Devon sat beside him, but not too close. Which

was incredibly weird and was sending up all sorts of red

flags. Riley moved his hand to Devon’s shoulder and

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gripped gently, asking, “Are you okay, Dev?”

“Yeah, fine,” Devon replied in a cool, reserved voice, and

Riley shot him a look full of doubt, hand dropping from his

arm. “Seriously, dude, I’m perfectly fine.”

“Yes, I can tell so unquestioningly by the way you just

called me
dude
. You haven’t done that since the first day we

met,” Riley said in a dry, irritated tone, crossing his muscled

arms over his chest and lifting an eyebrow at the other man.

“What’s wrong, Devon?”

“Fine, I’ll tell you. Why was Blake wearing your hoodie?”

Devon asked, turning to face Riley with an accusatory look

in his blue eyes. Riley’s brows rose as his temper caught on

like wildfire, all thoughts of rationalizing completely

disappearing from his thoughts.

“Seriously?!” Riley snapped, throwing his hands up in the

air. “Dude, Dominic had just ripped off his fucking shirt. He

wasn’t wearing a shirt and people were staring at him

because it looked like he was wearing a goddamned sports

bra, which, in case you haven’t noticed,
guys don’t normally

wear,
so I wanted to spare him the fucking embarrassment!

I’m sorry if that triggered some kind of insane jealousy for

you.”

Devon’s lips were parted like he wanted to say

something, but he looked completely dumbstruck by what

Riley had said. He wanted to apologize, but at the same time

he was still so fucking angry for what had happened, even

though somewhere he knew that it was completely

irrational.

“You’re not supposed to give your shirts to any other

guys but me!” he cried, eyes both burning with anger and

glittering with some sort of imploring need to know.

“Even if it’s a friend who needs it? Come on, Dev! Get

fucking real for two damn seconds here,” Riley shot back,

throwing his hands up in the air. “Stop being selfish,

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goddamnit. He needed it, so I gave it to him, that was that. It

wasn’t like I scooped him up in my arms and kissed it all

better and that’s what you’re acting like!”

“How do I know that?” Devon shot back.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, you really think I’d do that? You

seriously don’t trust me at all, do you?” Riley asked in a

hushed tone, eyes incredulous and face falling with the sheer

amount of disappointment. He was completely sobered, all

anger drained from his body and his mind.

“No…no, I trust you, I just don’t trust him!” Devon

scrambled to backtrack, but Riley had already stood up with

a scoff, running his hand over his cropped hair.

“Bullshit. You are fucking unbelievable. Come find me

when you’ve grown up, Devon,” he told him before rolling

his eyes and turning on his heel. He couldn’t deal with this

shit anymore, not right now.

* * * *

“Fine then! Walk away, you big fuckface,” Devon yelled

after him, his voice cracking as it echoed around the

courtyard. He threw himself back against the wall he’d been

sitting on, cursing thickly, “Fuck.”

He’d just seriously messed up.

Hands shaking, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed

Andy, sighing as he covered his eyes with his hand. He

couldn’t believe he was about to call his best friend,

man-whore extraordinaire, for relationship advice, but he

needed to talk to someone before he dissolved into panic.

“Yello,” Andy picked up the phone the same way he

always did, but Devon couldn’t even get a word out. The

silence expanded between them before Andy asked again,

“Hello? Devon? Earth to freak, come in freak.”

“Hey, Andy,” he finally forced out, voice choked with

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anguish and despair. Damn it. He’d even swallowed to get

rid of that and everything.

“Okay, what happened and who do I have to kill?” Andy

asked, voice growing a hard edge. Normally it would have

been a comforting sound, but now all it did was cut him

down further.

“No one, you oaf. It was my fault,” Devon replied,

swallowing around the fist-sized knot in his throat.

“Wait what? What happened, dude? You got me seriously

worried now,” Andy returned, voice growing darker the

way it always did when he let his emotions got the best of

him.

“I just fucked things way up with Riley,” Devon said.

He’d told Andy about Riley before they’d gone to dinner

that second night, and Andy never let Devon hear the end of

his college romance.

“How the fuck did you do that, man?”

“I let the green-eyed monster out again,” Devon sighed,

running his hands through his hair and cradling his phone

between his ear and shoulder. “One of our friends got

bullied and had his shirt ripped off, so Riley gave him his

hoodie and I fuckin’ lost like a loser.”

“Devon…” Andy said, a frown evident in his tone.

Devon’s hackles instantly went up, synapses burning with

irrationality, no matter how hard he tried to control it.

“Dude, I thought you said you had that kinda shit under

control?”

“Apparently not, douchebag,” Devon snapped, gripping

hard at the phone, hard enough to splinter the plastic.

“Hey, dude, don’t attack me with that kinda venom. I

didn’t do shit,” Andy snapped back, voice hard as steel.

Andy had never taken any shit from Devon. That was

probably why they were best friends and had been for so

long. “Calm the fuck down. Think of your blood pressure.”

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Devon instantly felt like an asshole for it. “Fuck, sorry. I

don’t know what’s wrong with me, Andy,” he said,

scratching at the base of his skull. He felt like he was

drowning and floundering. The look on Riley’s face would

probably haunt him for weeks.

“You probably love him, dude,” Andy replied, and

Devon could very clearly see the casual shrug that the other

man did. It was always so infuriating but sobering at the

same time.

“Aw fuck,” Devon cursed, head falling into his hand,

thumb massaging his temple. He’d always been afraid to fall

in love, especially that fucking fast.

“Which also means you need to go find him, explain your

little anger problem and make it better,” Andy added, and

Devon knew he was right. Andy had always been able to

make him see reason.

* * * *

It was only after Riley started walking away that he let his

emotions crumble into agonizing hurt and disappointment.

Tears stung the corners of his eyes as he stopped walking,

and it made him want to punch something. He slumped

against the wall and covered his face with his hands, taking

in a shaky breath and shaking his head. He wasn’t going to

let this guy bring him to tears. Fuck that shit. He breathed in

deeply, letting it out in a harsh exhale through his nose.

“He doesn’t trust me,” he murmured, rubbing his eyes in

frustration and fighting the urge to throw his head against

the wall. “He doesn’t fucking trust me. I can’t believe it.” He

didn’t know who he was talking to, but he felt like it needed

to be said out loud. It made him feel a little better, but it also

made him want to punch something.

He didn’t know why Devon didn’t trust him. It wasn’t

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like he’d ever done anything to make the other man think

that he’d be cheating on him, right? He was loyal to a fault

and he was pretty sure anyone who’d been around him for a

long period of time knew that. He didn’t understand why

Devon would think he’d cheat on him with anyone, let alone

Blake, who was happily in a relationship with Ethan.

The rage he was feeling was making his hand shake as

he laced them together in a big fist. No. He couldn’t do that.

He shut his eyes and tried to control his wavering

breathing, but it didn’t work. It
really
didn’t work. In fact, it

did the opposite, because he felt his father’s temper rising in

his chest, and as much as he hated it, he let it catch.

He untangled his fingers and threw his fist at the wall

with a grunt of pure, undiluted anger.

The pain was excruciating but it snapped him back to

reality with a grunt of pain. He winced and cradled his fist,

looking at the blue and pink bruises blossoming on his

knuckles, and he smiled a little masochistically. Staring at

his fist, Riley heard Dominic’s voice from a mile away and

knew he had to get away before he completely wasted the

guy. His voice grated on his nerves on a good day, let alone

today when he had so many reasons just to beat his ass. Each

syllable scratched against his last nerve until he thought it

was going to snap right then and there. He scrambled to his

feet gracelessly, began walking quickly to a staircase, flat out

running once he reached the dorm building.

He got to his dorm room in record time and slammed the

door shut with his back. His chest was heaving as he sucked

in air, hands pressed firmly to the door behind him. He was

trying to calm his breathing, thankful that his roommate was

out. Honestly, he never saw that much of him, and could

barely remember his name. He was pretty sure Toby was his

name, but he wasn’t really sure. He was always passing out

at parties and staying with friends, which was fine with

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Riley, especially now.

He stumbled over to his bed and collapsed down onto it

with a heavy sigh, rolling onto his back and covering his face

with quivering hands. He couldn’t feel the pain in his

knuckles because the adrenaline was still coursing through

his system.

When he started to feel the sting of Devon’s words and

the pain radiating through his hand and up his arm, the

tears leaked out no matter how hard he tried to keep them

back. He’d never done well with relationship fights. It was

probably because his parents had loved fighting in front of

him and his siblings, his father always raising his voice and

threatening to hit his mother. He never did, but the fear in

her eyes was enough to channel into Riley. He’d dealt with it

since he was young, and he’d sworn none of his

relationships would ever be like that.

That was why a lot of his relationships had ended,

because he couldn’t handle the fighting. He was afraid that

this relationship would end up just like every other—over. It

hadn’t been long but Devon seemed to understand him

better than most people, and he didn’t want to lose that over

him not being able to handle something as normal as a

couple’s quarreling.

Riley wasn’t sure how much time had passed as he’d

gotten lost in his thoughts, but he was jolted out of his

thoughts when he heard a knock on the door. He jumped

and sat up so hard he hit his head on the top bunk, falling

back hard with a groaned curse. The world spun and swam

in front of his eyes for a moment as he reeled from the pain

and the shock.

“Fuck, not a good day,” he mumbled, stumbling off the

bed and toward the door, injured hand holding his injured

head in a nice ironic twist of fate. God, he was such a klutz.

He had no idea who could be at the door, but he both