Phase (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #1) (37 page)

He remained silent.

“You can’t, can you?” I bit my lip to stop the tears that wanted to fall.

“Well, ya have to admit it ain’t common for someone to be in a car at an elite level at eighteen.”

“Dad was about the same age when he got his start.”

“But that’s my point, if you come from a legacy of drivers, what d’ya ’spect?”

“Legacy of drivers? Are you fucking kidding me? Dad started Emmanuel Racing, for your fucking information.” My tears burned my eyes even though I couldn’t really say why his words had made me so furious. Maybe because it felt like Beau was effectively discounting Dad’s hard work—and therefore mine too.

“Whoa, darlin’, there ain’t no need to get feisty.”

“Emmanuel is my twin,” I said as tears pricked my eyes. I didn’t even know if he’d remember the significance of the words—the first night we met. “The team was named for him. Our family has sacrificed and put our blood, sweat, and tears into that damn team.”

Beau frowned and went to say something more, but I cut him off.

“All I wanted to do was celebrate my win with you, but I guess that was too much to ask. Well, thank you for ruining this for me. I should fucking come over there to prove my position was earned.”

He was about to reply when his door opened.

“Beau?” The blonde from earlier came into the room, carrying a mixing spoon coated with something chocolatey—a cake or pudding mix, or maybe the frosting.

“What do you want, Cass?” he snapped at his guest.

She leaned against the doorjamb and licked the spoon. “Just wondering how much longer you’re going to be?”

“Don’t let me keep you,” I said, leaning forward to reach the disconnect button.

“Wait,” he said, his gaze rushing back to me. The instant before I cut the call, I saw his hurt echo in his eyes.

“Arsehole,” I muttered under my breath as I slammed the laptop closed.

A second later, my phone chimed.
Please come back online so I can talk to you.

I wasn’t ready to do that yet. My heart still pounded in my ears and I could practically taste my disappointment in Beau on my tongue.
Why would you want to talk to a track princess who didn’t have to work for her place on her team?

Barely a minute later, his reply came.
You know that’s not what I meant. Please, call me so we can talk.

Sorry, Beau, I’m going out tonight. Maybe I’ll find someone who will be happy for me while I’m out.
It was a cheap shot, but I wanted to hurt him like he’d hurt me with his assumptions. Without the benefit of his touch to soothe me, it felt impossible to calm my rage.

I am happy for you.

I was tempted to throw the phone out the window to stop him replying. By then, I didn’t
want
him to calm me down.
Funny way of showing it. By the way, who’s the girl?

A friend.

His short reply only served to piss me off more.
Sure. I’ve got plenty of friends who come to my house and make baked goods right before bed. Enjoy your fucking frosting.

Instead of texting me back, Beau called. Knowing we’d only get into an argument with the mood I was in, I rejected the call and then turned my phone off.

Angel arrived a little over an hour later, after I’d had time to shower and change for our night out. Once I’d filled her in on what had me in a foul mood, she commanded I leave my phone at home, insisting that Mum and Dad could reach me on hers if they needed me.

After admonishing me for my possible overreaction—even though she understood why it had happened—she helped me put my mind at rest over the girl at Beau’s house. After all, if it weren’t innocent, wouldn’t the woman have questioned why another woman was Skyping him?

Unless it’s a common occurrence.

Fuck.

Angel let me wallow for precisely the length of time it took for us to have dinner. As soon as I’d finished eating, she declared the rest of the evening a drama-free zone. Then she did her best to distract me. The only thing she couldn’t control were the guys dancing around us and the paps circling the dance floor.

By the time we got back to my house, I was ready to call Beau to apologise. I picked up my phone from my dresser and scrolled through to his name, but Angel put her hand over mine. “Let him stew for a few more hours and call him in the morning. I’m tired.”

THE FOLLOWING morning, Mum and Dad came in to drag Angel and me to a celebratory breakfast with the whole family. I grabbed my phone and shot Beau a quick text apologising for the night before. It was only when I’d taken my first bite of food that I wondered why my phone had been on when I grabbed it. I frowned as I recalled turning it off before we went out, but that it had been on when I picked it up later that night.

Maybe I hadn’t turned it off after all. It wouldn’t have been the first time I pushed Restart instead of Power Off.

“We have a surprise for you!” Mum said over the table, putting the thoughts out of my mind.

“We’ve secured a car,” Dad said before waiting for her to finish her announcement.

“You said I could tell her,” Mum said. She pouted her lip, catching Dad’s eye.

“I couldn’t help myself,” he said as he leaned over to kiss her.

“Hey, can we focus on me for a moment? You were saying?”

Dad shot me a cheeky grin but still touched his lips to Mum’s for a brief kiss.

“We were saying you’re US bound if you still want to be,” Mum said.

While Mum and Dad had been working on the deal, we’d kept everyone else in the loop so it wouldn’t be a surprise if it happened. Neither Mum nor Dad believed in secrets.

“Are you kidding me?” A tingle of excitement built within me that I could see Beau again. That I could apologise to him in person. That we could actually give
us
a red-hot go without worrying about the distance or trying to align our crazy schedules. “Of course I want to! Is it really all arranged?”

“We’ve had Fleur Amelia get behind the car already. They’re offering a significant package to have you on the track, and that’s given us the leverage to find you a team.”

“The florists? Really?” I was surprised that they were getting into racing sponsorship.

“Are you kidding? I’ve never had an easier sell. With your history here and the information that you were going overseas to pursue young love, they jumped at the chance. I think they’re hoping for corporate sponsorship and coverage of the wedding.” Mum finished with a giggle.

My heart leapt and a chill raced along my skin. Dad choked on what he was eating.

“I think it’s too early to be talking marriage,” I said.

“Agreed!” Dad said after swallowing his mouthful.

“Who’s getting married?” Beth asked.

“Phoebe’s getting married, you ninny,” Brock said.

Max shifted uncomfortably and stared steadfastly at the plate in front of him.

“No one’s getting married,” I said, glaring at Mum for her careless comment.

“No one’s getting married, but Phoebe will be leaving us for a little while,” Mum added.

It was only when Mum said it that it really hit me. I was going to be leaving home. Moving out, for at least a year. “When?” I asked, my voice holding no volume. “Where?”

“Well, we needed to talk to you about that.” Dad shot Mum a saddened look.

“They want you over there for the last few races of this season,” Mum finished for him.

“Oh, that soon?”

“And they have a number of TV spots and photo shoots they want done throughout the off season,” Mum added.

“So over Christmas?” My blood turned to ice. “I’ll be away from everyone for Christmas?” I couldn’t help the tears that pricked at my eyes.

“We’re hoping to be able to get you home for Christmas, but it might not be possible.”

“Oh, wow. Oh, God.” My mouth went dry so I downed the rest of my Coke. It didn’t help. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“You still have a little time to change your mind,” Mum said. “But we do need to get everything signed pretty quickly to ensure it’s all stitched up ready to announce.”

I looked over at Angel, who was nodding encouragingly. Dad put his hand on mine.

“I know it’s scary, and if you wanted to stay at home, no one would think less of you,” he whispered in my ear. “But if you even
think
you might regret it later, it’s worth taking the chance on. It’s only a year-long commitment for now, after all.”

I wasn’t sure if he was talking about the car or Beau, but either way, he was right.

“Let’s do this,” I said with a smile growing on my face. Yes, it would be hard saying goodbye to my family, but it was going to be worth it. Not only for the chance to see where things might lead with Beau but to also forge a name for myself in a series that Dad hadn’t been involved in before. Mum told me a little bit about the team, just the basics like the team name and where they were based.

Once we’d finished breakfast, everyone else went on ahead, leaving Angel and me to get my bike home. “I can’t believe this is really happening for you,” she said.

“I owe it all to you. If you hadn’t pushed Mum and Dad, I don’t know if I ever would have found the courage to do it myself.

“I think you would have. Or they would have. Someone would have realised it was the only logical plan.”

“Can’t you just take a compliment?”

She screwed up her nose. “Nah, it’s easier to make you work for it. So on a scale of one to just jizzed in my pants, how excited do you think Beau will be when you tell him?”

“I don’t know, but I can’t wait to tell him.” My mouth twisted into a smile at the thought.

AS SOON AS Angel and I returned home, I charged straight for my room and opened Skype. When I saw Beau’s light on, I breathed a small sigh of relief and pushed to call him. It was only then I realised he still hadn’t texted back.

It’d been almost twenty-four hours since we’d last spoken. Too long considering how we’d left things.

Instead of Beau’s face though, the blonde batter-maker’s face filled my computer screen. “You got some nerve callin’ here,” she said.

I couldn’t believe her nerve. “Excuse me?”

“You don’t even care, do ya? Are you happy ruinin’ folks’ lives? How could ya do this?”

My heart beat against my chest. What the fuck was she talking about? “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“I’m—”

“Cass, don’t.” Beau’s voice was heavy and commanding. “Let me talk t’her.”

She gave me a death stare before giving up the space in front of the computer.

When Beau’s face came onto the screen, it was worlds away from the one I was used to. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair dishevelled, and his expression cold. He barely mumbled a greeting.

“Hi,” I said, knowing the single word was grossly inadequate for all the things I needed to say. To apologise for.

He waved off my concern. “What d’ya want, Phoebe?”

A knot twisted my stomach at the defeated sound in his voice. “What?”

“Why’re ya botherin’ to call me?”

“Because I wanted to speak to you.”

“It don’t matter what ya want. Not no more.”

“Is this about what happened yesterday?” I asked. “I’m sorry. It’s just something I’ve had to deal with for years, and it’s hard for me not to react.”

Again, he ignored my apology. “Did ya think this, us, was serious?”

My pulse galloped around my body, pounding in my limbs and through my head. “I thought—”

He sighed and cut me off. “I mean, we ain’t been exclusive, have we, darlin’?”

What was he saying?
I was trying to figure it out, but I felt like I was missing something. Then it struck me, and I couldn’t shake the image of frosting girl out of my head.

“There have been other people?” I asked. Because I was trying to force the words out through a throat that felt three sizes too small, they came out with almost no volume. Did she think I was trying to muscle in on her territory? Is that why she was so pissed?

His jaw ticked as he nodded. His expression, already tired and drawn, turned resigned—his irritation clear on his features.

“I don’t understand,” I admitted. “I thought we both knew what this thing was.”

“So did I, darlin’, so did I. I thought it was obvious. That it didn’t need to be spelled out. Shoulda known our li’l arrangement couldn’t last though.”

Was I nothing more than an
arrangement
to him? Why hadn’t he just let me go if he’d never had any intention of anything serious? I’d have had months to get over him by now if he had. And the sting of leaving him that night in July was nothing compared to the burning ache that coursed through my body. “You were the one who pursued me, Beau, don’t forget that.”

He gave a derisive laugh. “How could I possibly forget that? How could I forget that pretty face of yours?”

I’d thought he’d cared about me, that he’d fallen in love with who I was. But he hadn’t. It was all about my looks.

“What are you saying, Beau? That this is it? We’re over?” I thought of everything Mum and Dad had said that morning. Everything they’d done to get me to the States because I’d been so insistent that what Beau and I had was the real deal. I was such a fucking fool.

“You don’t honestly ’spect me to hang ’round any longer, d’ya?” He glanced away for a moment as if steeling himself. When his gaze turned back to me, it was hard—like something inside of him had broken. “It’s been real fun, darlin’, but I’m done. I ain’t gonna be pinin’ over it.”

Tears burned my eyes, but I wouldn’t give the arsehole the satisfaction of letting them fall. “If that’s what you want. If it all meant that little to you, then fine, I guess. I’m not going to fall apart just because you can’t handle who I am.”

“Meant that little? Are ya—” he cut himself off and clenched his jaw. “No, you’re right. I guess it meant nothin’, and it don’t hurt to remember that.”

If he’d shot me through the heart with a bullet, it would have been less painful. Still, I held myself together enough to say, “Fine. I guess this is goodbye then.”

“Guess so.”

I disconnected the call right before my tears burst from me, unable to be contained even a second more. How had I been so stupid? I’d thought he was different. Thought he’d meant all the crap he’d told me about us being special. About him being a virgin. Had that even been true? Had it just been a way to worm his way into my heart? Was it all a fucking game to him?

I picked up my phone to send him a text because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to find my voice and talk to him again.
I don’t know how things got so fucked up, but I need to know you won’t share the photos you have of me. I can’t stand the thought of them ending up online.

It was almost five minutes later that a reply came.
It’s too late for that, and you know it. It ain’t like you actually meant them for my eyes only. I know all about women like you.

My stomach fell and I scrambled for my computer. Bile rose in my throat as I did a Google image search on my name. Sure enough, at least half of the photos I’d sent Beau—including one of me with only my own hands covering my breasts—were some of the first results. Fuck. My hands shook as I slammed the laptop shut.

The betrayal rocked me to the core, and I was too numb to feel the sting of rejection. I’d never felt so stupid. So used. Dad was right. All men were arseholes, and would do whatever necessary to bed the girl they wanted. And now Beau had risked tanking my career on top of it all.

Knowing that Mum and Dad were waiting downstairs to see what Beau had thought about my news, I tried to pull myself together. How could I admit to them how stupid I’d been? They were finally treating me like an adult, and look how badly I’d fucked up my first big decision. How could I back out of the contracts Mum had spent so long arranging? How could I admit that I’d been taken for a sucker by an arsehole and turn back on everything?

Trying to find some inner peace, enough space to sort through my swirling thoughts, I glanced around my room. All around me were the reminders of my US trip. My gaze fell on the strip of photos from the Fun Spot photo booth. Looking at the images, it was easy to see why I believed Beau had felt something for me. Either he was a damn good actor or that look was one he’d granted a number of girls. His words circled through my head,
“We’re not exclusive are we, darlin’?”

Feeling a surge of anger rush through my limbs, I reached for the photo. Just as I was about to tear it in half, there was a knock on my door.

“Hey, girlie, you decent?” Angel called out, no doubt thinking I might have let excitement over being so close to being back at Beau’s side manifest into a virtual sex session. If only she knew.

I didn’t answer her, choosing instead to cross the room and open the door wordlessly.

“I’ll take that as a—shit, Pheebs, what happened?” She stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.

It was only when she asked the question that I realized my whole body was shaking. No tears fell, but I was cold and my skin felt too tight—like a dress three sizes too small—and tremors raced through me. One look at her worried face and my tears came flooding back.

“We—we—we’re over,” I sobbed when I found my voice.

“What? Why? Didn’t he want you to go to the States?” She moved onto my bed and I crawled up beside her.

“I never even got the chance to mention it,” I admitted as I wrapped myself around her body to draw the comfort she offered.

She leaned her head against the top of mine. “Tell me what happened.”

I told her all about the confusing conversation from start to finish, including telling her about the photos ending up online.

“It’s a good thing he doesn’t live in Australia, or I’d fucking kill him,” she said.

“You’d be in line behind a few others.”

She held me tightly. “I’d muscle my way to the front. No one takes the wind out of my girl’s sails without dealing with me.”

“What am I supposed to do though?” I asked. “Mum and Dad have worked so hard to get me in one of those cars. They’ve pulled in contacts and favours from all over the place. Can I really back away from that?”

“They’ll understand. Your dad will probably go crazy and try to get over to the States to kill the guy that hurt you, but they’ll understand.”

“How did it all become such a mess?”

“Because men are arseholes.”

“I should have just stuck with you, my Angel.”

She kissed the top of my head and tangled her legs through mine. “You and I both know it would never work. The way you felt about Beau in the beginning is proof of that. Even if he’s an arse, don’t let that break you. Don’t let him break you.”

“You’re right.” I sat up a little straighter.

“I am?”

“I can’t let him break me. I need to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Show him I won’t be fucked with. Show him a bit of the Reede attitude.”

She pulled away from me. “Do you mean go to the States?”

“Yeah.” I pushed myself up. How dare Beau lead me on like he had. I would make him explain himself, and if his explanation wasn’t satisfactory, I would make him pay.

“Are you sure?”

“Never been surer of anything. Maybe it’s all a misunderstanding, and if it’s not, at least I can kick him in the nuts when I’m within striking distance.”

“What are you going to tell your parents though?”

“Nothing. As far as Mum and Dad will be aware, I’m doing what I planned to do originally. I’m heading over to follow my heart. I just hope they don’t stumble onto the photos that have gone up online.”

“Are you sure?”

“When have I ever let anyone fuck with me?”

She chuckled. “Never. I think you need to tell your Mum about the photos though. She’ll be able to get PR onto it to minimise the damage.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Even as I said the words, I had no intention of admitting to Mum that I’d been stupid enough to send photos to a man who was callous enough to post them online.

THE FOLLOWING morning, after everyone had gone to school and work, Mum pulled me into her home office. Nikki sat in the playpen in one corner, playing relatively quietly until she saw me. Then she reached out to be picked up, her little fingers pumping in and out of fists as a whine crossed her lips.

“Did you want to tell me something?” Mum asked as I lifted Nikki from the playpen and sat with her on my lap.

“Um, no.”

Mum’s eyebrow lifted. “Try again.”

“Yes?” It was clear there was something that she didn’t like and wanted to discuss, but I had no idea what that might be. It was impossible that she had found out about Beau’s deception already. “Do you want to give me a clue what though?”

She sighed and reached for her tablet. When she unlocked the screen, I saw it. Or, more specifically, I saw me. Me draped over my bike wearing nothing but a bra.

Without saying a word, Mum flicked the screen to another photo. And another. All the photos I’d sent Beau. All of them on Mum’s tablet. I shifted Nikki off my lap and back into the playpen.

While I had my back turned, I took a deep breath and prepared myself to try to explain. Angel was right. I should have said something. Fuck.

My throat tightened as I grabbed hold of the tablet under Mum’s watchful gaze.

Mum didn’t say a word. I almost would have preferred her screaming at me than the silent reproach she offered with one look at her face. Everything with Beau, with the cars, with going overseas, all just hit me hard. A tear slipped from me and dropped onto the screen. I couldn’t form words, not even to tell her I was sorry or ask how she’d found out.

A sob left me.