Persona - A Disturbing Psychological Thriller (40 page)

Jen sighed, closed her eyes. ‘I was about to take my own life.’

Dave sat up, looked at the noose. ‘I know. I was so relieved I got to you in time. And I was terrified you might do it while we were away. I ran back here as soon as I could. Thanks for trusting me.’

‘I didn’t know what to think. I remembered you from all those years ago, and it wasn’t that I trusted you, it just wouldn’t have harmed anyone to give you a chance. If you had lied, I could simply top myself. I wasn’t suicidal – I just wanted to save the people I love.’

‘You played along superbly.’

‘When you shot me, I thought it was real and the shock kept me still. While I lay there, I realised I was still alive, and though I didn’t know what you had planned, I played along like you’d told me to. I felt you press liquid into my hair and then you shot me again.’ She tenderly touched her scalp.

‘I took one of Zen’s handguns to a firearms dealer I used to know when I was a police officer. I’d recovered property stolen from him, and at the time he was very appreciative. Anyway, he remembered me and helped with my request. I needed to fire that handgun at you without harming you, and at the same time convince Zen that you were dead. The dealer transformed the gun into a simulated version. It looks and sounds the same as a gun fitted with a silencer, but has a sealed barrel to prevent the round escaping. The blank rounds have brass cases just like real rounds, but use a paper cover to keep the gunpowder in place instead of a bullet. The amount of powder used is just enough to produce the muffled muzzle blast you heard, and to enable ejection of the empty case and chambering of a new round for the next shot. And I had to burst this capsule on your head.’ Dave pulled out two empty, transparent containers. ‘They made it realistic. I squashed the other one on the ground when he lost consciousness, to simulate leakage.’

Jen stared up at the rope. ‘Can this
really
work? Can I really stop worrying and feel safe?’

‘Yes, but there’s one drawback.’ He stared seriously at her. ‘You have to leave. I don’t know what might happen if Ryan happened to run into you. It’s possible Zen could be reborn, I just don’t know.’

‘That’s not safety.’

‘It is if you go far enough away.’

‘Leave the country?’

‘No, just go north to Newcastle, Liverpool or Manchester. Somewhere in a big city where he’d never notice you.’

‘And if he did? It’s a small world.’

Dave shrugged. ‘When he became Ryan-’

‘What does ‘Ryan’ mean?’

‘It’s the name he’s used since breaking up with you. He created a different identity so he could forget his past and start again. Only Zen retained the memories, in order to fuel his quest for revenge. You must understand that Ben was head over heels in love with you, and I admit I don’t know all the circumstances, but when you slept with Geoff it broke his heart. Literally broke him. He could only go on by becoming a machine. That’s what Ryan is – a cold, selfish person incapable of emotion. A milder version of Zen. No one can hurt him, and anyone who takes advantage of him pays. To embark on his ‘operation’ against you, he needed to be untraceable and focused. Everything had to be channelled into revenge. Everything was Zen…’

Jen closed her eyes. ‘He’s a sick fuck!’

Dave glared at her. ‘
You
created him! You fucked his friend, and ever since I’ve had to look out for him and worry!’

Jen shivered at the outburst. ‘Don’t you think I’ve paid for that? Don’t you think I regret it?’

‘Well don’t make out you’re the only casualty.’ Dave pointed his finger at her. ‘Ben died and
you
are to blame for that. You’re still alive. You’ve lost your father, but you still have a life and can start again. Ryan’s psychotic – he has no life!’

‘I have no sympathy. Not after all he’s done. How much suffering d’you think I should endure? Is it right I should die? If so, why did you save me?’

‘Of course you don’t deserve to die. But Ryan’s my best friend. He’s all I have and
I’ve
suffered – never knowing what he’s going to do, whether he’s going to mess up and be thrown inside!’

Jen stared at him in disgust. ‘
That’s
why you did this. You prevented suicide and set up my ‘execution’ to save him - if I’d taken my own life, the manhunt would have intensified, and if I hadn’t and the torture had continued, his chances of being caught would have increased.’

Dave nodded, crossed his legs as he sat, and folded his arms around them. ‘I have my own agenda too – I don’t want to lose someone
I
love. But I also have a sense of justice, Jenny. When I realised what was happening, I formulated a plan to stop it, and it’ll work if you let it.’

‘If you cared about justice you would have given him up. You still could.’

‘That’s not justice. He has no life. You do. You started this; it’s not fair you end it too. Zen hasn’t ended it either - he didn’t get what he wanted.’

Jen glared at him. ‘Then
I’ll
give him up. I know his name and I know you’re protecting him. The police will find him.’

‘I’d rather die than give him up,’ Dave told her bluntly. ‘And doing that will expose you to him. Zen would rise again, and your loved ones and I would die…

‘This is the only way,’ he continued. ‘Take my word for it. Zen is dead because you are. While you cease to live, he does. As I said, Ryan has detached himself from the past. I’m the only person who has survived the transition. It’s possible he might recognise you if he merely passed you in the street, but unlikely. He won’t be looking out for you, won’t be suspecting that you might exist - you’ll just be a stranger to him. If he saw your name written somewhere, or read about your past, it might trigger a memory and unfold the truth, so you must change your identity. And you must never mention what’s happened to anyone. Word spreads and you can’t risk it reaching him. Basically, like he has, you need to start again. You still have people who care for you – it won’t be too difficult.’

Jen shook her head. ‘He’s taken your sanity, hasn’t he? You used to be a policeman, and now look at you.’

‘Everyone has a guardian angel. Ryan’s mine and I have to stand by him.’

She looked away from him.

‘How about you stop criticising me and move on?’ Dave advised. ‘I’ve given you a lifeline, an opportunity to put this behind you. Don’t you want peace? Aren’t you even appreciative of what I’ve done?’

Jen sighed tiredly. It was a way out, and however absurd his story sounded, it made sense.

Because Zen was a psychopath.

Psychos were abnormal and never conformed to any notion of order. All previous attempts to end this had failed - he kept coming back more menacing and terrifying than before. She deserved to put this behind her, and more importantly to have the safety of her friends and family assured. Look at her boyfriend, beautiful John-Paul – he was being pushed around in a wheelchair. Her poor mother had lost her husband. Two other people had died - two professional killers. Justice wouldn’t come. A short while ago she had been prepared to kill herself to end this. It was irrational to expect more than what was offered. This way her loved ones would be safe, without having to suffer her death. She managed to smile. She could see the end. Hope returned and she wasn’t afraid of it. Maybe this would work. Maybe everyone could return to normality.

‘We want peace more than anything, and we’ll do it,’ she said firmly.

‘I cannot emphasise enough the importance of changing your identity. And that applies to everyone else close to you, too. Anyone who knows what you’ve done must keep silent.’

‘I know what to do.’ Jen stood up and walked towards the car park. Without looking back she said, ‘Enjoy your life with Ryan.’

It was meant as an insult, but Dave smiled. As she merged with the darkness, he laughed, muffling it with his hand. Cloaked in the comforting, glorious, night sky, his giggles reached a crescendo, and he removed his hand, filling the woods with his joy. Maybe he was insane. Maybe circumstances had eaten away at his sanity, and maybe he belonged in a nuthouse. But he had Ryan, and they were free to spend the rest of their lives together. If that was madness, he would wholeheartedly embrace it.

48

Late next morning, Dave stormed into Ryan’s bedsit.

‘You have to get out of here.’

Ryan lay still on his bed. ‘I’ve just moved in,’ he responded, nonchalantly.

Dave’s fingers vigorously bounced off each other, as if each one was charged. ‘Both of us have committed murder. We need to get out of the area. I suggest we head for Cornwall today.’

Ryan dug his elbows into the mattress and pushed himself up. ‘Oh, do you? Well, before I do anything, I need an explanation. I’m blind here.’

Dave noticed red marks on Ryan’s neck. ‘Who did that to your throat?’

‘I’ve been wondering that myself. Probably the same cunt who broke my ribs.’

‘Your
ribs
are broken? Have you had them checked?’

‘No. They’ll heal.’

Dave sighed, took a folded piece of paper from his pocket and then passed it to Ryan. ‘This is the first I knew about it.’

Ryan opened the newspaper article, noted that it was almost one week old, and then began to read the story.

Dave watched him closely. ‘It will bring back memories.’

‘Ben Salks,’ Ryan announced.

‘That’s who you were when you were sick, over ten years ago.’

‘Jen Edmunds-’

‘She was Ben’s -
your
- girlfriend. She slept with your friend-’

‘Geoff!’ Ryan interrupted.

‘Yes. You paralysed him. Shortly after, he killed himself.’

Ryan looked up, nodded. ‘It’s like tiny drips in the deep recesses of my memory. I’m reading this, hearing you, and they’re congealing drop by drop.’

‘You buried it, Ryan. Only Zen could access it.’

Ryan held his gaze for a moment then re-focused on the print. Soon after, he whispered, ‘Zen,’ and sniggered.

‘He possessed you for ten years, channelling your mental and physical energy into punishing her.’

As Ryan progressed further through the article, he started to chuckle. He looked at Dave. ‘It’s incredible that I could do this and not know.’

‘You created him to avoid detection. Zen only manifested to torture her. He held a unique, vital role. It cut you up
really
badly when she did that to you.’

‘This is fucking great! What a
top
persona!’

Dave’s tone was serious. ‘Ryan, you killed her father and crippled her boyfriend.’

‘So fucking what? She deserved it, the cheating bitch. I was in love with her! I thought she was some sort of saviour and look what she did to me!’ He continued reading. ‘All this, and I only actually took one life. Oh, and two dogs’.’

‘Yeah, but the police would have you down for two attempted murders on her boyfriend, too. That carries the same sentence as the full crime. And they’d pin any number of smaller charges on you - you ridiculed them; you killed an Edmunds while they were under police protection. That’s created public insecurity and disrespect for them.’

Ryan looked up, irritated. ‘You wouldn’t be too popular either - you killed Jenny, the damsel in distress.’ He recalled Dave’s shock confession to him in the woods.

Dave looked down at the floor. ‘I know,’ he mumbled. ‘I’m not proud of myself. But at least this is over. We can move on, but we have to do it now to get away with it.’

Ryan scanned the last few lines and then dropped the paper on the floor. ‘All you’ve preached to me over the years, disapproving of everything I do or want to do, and look at you now - you’re just the same, you hypocrite.’

Dave shook his head. ‘Ryan, look at the bigger picture. Not everyone functions through self-interest like you. Some of us, and I’m talking about myself, value others more than ourselves. I don’t give a shit if you think it’s weak. I did it for you, because I care about you.’

‘You were prepared to do
that
?’

Dave nodded. ‘I told you before, you’re all I have. Desperation can change a person.’

Ryan blinked. ‘You certainly changed!’

Dave gazed out the window. The stubborn bastard wouldn’t open up and show appreciation. Ryan believed Dave had killed her, yet there was no compassion. Jesus, what a character! He faced him again. ‘We both need new identities and beginnings. We have to move.’

‘I’ve got stuff to do here.’

Dave frowned at him. ‘Your face is pasted all over her town. It’s in papers and on televisions nationwide. Don’t you think it’s sensible to keep a low profile? For fuck’s sake,
anything
keeping you here is totally irrelevant!’ He prayed he’d get through to him. More important than being identified by someone was the threat that Ryan might uncover the truth – Jenny was still alive.

Dave expected her to take his advice, but there was a small chance that she might defy him and relay the information she’d learnt to the police. If she did that, it would all be over. The act of faking Jenny’s death made Dave arrestable, since he’d done it to prevent Ryan’s arrest.