Persona - A Disturbing Psychological Thriller (28 page)

‘No,’ she smiled.

‘No one can spoil what we have. He’ll fail. There’s nothing to worry about. I have you, Jenny, and I’m the happiest man alive. His flirting is desperate and pathetic. I’ll confront him when we get home.’

Jenny hugged him. ‘So what do we do now?’

‘You go back and listen to his bullshit. See how pathetic he is. Tell him I’m climbing another rock face.’

‘Okay.’

Jenny walked away.

Geoff turned onto his back and studied Jenny as she approached him. Tash was snoring.

‘Where’s Ben?’ he asked.

‘He’s climbing,’ she replied flatly.

He smiled. ‘Sorry, stupid question. Are you feeling better?’

‘Much better.’

Ben couldn’t have told her everything in the short time they’d just spent together. So what had he left out?

Speaking of such sensitive issues with her had been a dangerous tactic on Geoff’s part, but time was advancing and he had to make a move. He had to fuck her. He risked facing Ben’s fury, but reasoned that Ben probably wouldn’t attack him here on this holiday. That would be thuggish.

‘Well I’m glad you’re feeling better,’ he said, noticing a shade of resentment in her eyes when he smiled at her. ‘So what do you think of his crime?’

Filled with an instant foreboding, Jenny blurted out, ‘What crime?’

‘What crime? He helped his father murder his mother!’

33

At eleven p.m. Geoff’s ear was pressed against their bedroom door. Since he’d enlightened Jenny, there had been a pleasing tension between her and Ben, and it had taken this long for them to be alone together. That delay had to be down to Jenny.

It was the first time since the unjust relationship had begun that Geoff felt he had the upper hand. His patient strategy had paid off – she now felt apprehensive and Ben had to find a way to reassure her. Ben’s withholding of information had been stupid and now that information had come from someone else. She would question her worth to Ben and blame him for the shame she felt for committing herself to him before hearing such a shocking revelation.

Maybe she’d feel ensnared – she was going out with a murderer.

The material was strong enough to change someone’s opinion and Geoff was convinced that it would irrevocably weaken their bond.

‘Why didn’t you tell me, Ben?’ Jenny cried.

‘It’s not what you think, Jenny.’ Ben’s voice was shaky. ‘When you know the circumstances you’ll understand.’

‘Understand? Understand why you killed your own mother?’

He gripped his head with his hands. ‘You’re letting him break us up, Jenny.’ He looked at her through watery eyes. ‘What we have is too beautiful to be damaged by him.’

She pointed a trembling finger at him. ‘You’re damaging it, Ben. I had a right to know that. I had a right to know!’

‘You might have stayed away!’

‘You tricked me into this, Ben.’ Sitting on the bed, she wiped her face on her nightdress and pulled her knees to her chest. She hadn’t washed and now mascara ran down her cheeks.

‘Don’t say that, Jenny,’ he begged.

Petrified that her happiness was fading, her voice turned angry. ‘You should have told me. I had the right to know everything before I fell in love. What would my father think? He likes you. He doesn’t know.’

Ben tried to pull himself together. He could feel them drifting apart and this hysteria wasn’t helping. She had to know the truth. They had to forget their insecurities and get over this. He held her arms and she tried to resist at first, but then relaxed. ‘Listen to me, Jenny…’ He stared intently at her, but her eyes flickered elsewhere. ‘Have I ever lied to you?’

‘No.’

‘I kept something from you. At the beginning I told you I was uncomfortable talking about my past. That’s because it hurts and I’ve had to try to forget about it to live a normal life. But I’ve never been able to – flashbacks tortured me…until I met you. You made me realise that there’s more than pain, self-pity and hate. You taught me that love exists. I’ve changed from a bitter man strapped to the past, to an optimistic person.’ He gripped her arms tighter. ‘You must understand that’s the truth. When I met you, I felt something I’ve never felt before. An escape… I knew we were meant for each other and wanted it to happen so desperately that I avoided discussing my past until you were ready to hear it. I didn’t want to keep it from you, I wanted to share everything with you, but I was scared I might lose you. That would’ve broken me. You were the only one who could save me.’

‘But if you loved me you should have realised I would have felt at risk.’

He let go of her. ‘Oh my God, Jenny! I could never hurt you!’ Tears welled up in his eyes again. ‘Fuck me, I feel so bad. It’s because you don’t know the truth. Listen to me and I’ll tell you. You must listen, Jenny.’

‘I will,’ she sobbed.

As Ben recited his childhood, Geoff crouched down and wondered about the outcome. Once she learnt of the circumstances, the shock would undoubtedly diminish, but how much? Personally, he felt Karen’s death was justified, but a lot of people wouldn’t. Jenny was sensitive, caring and harmless. Possibly – hopefully – she’d disagree with the act of taking someone’s life, preferring in Karen’s case a loss of custodial rights or some other similarly inappropriate course of action. Either way, she’d feel ensnared. Ben had done a good job of explaining why he’d omitted to tell her, but it still told Jenny that because he knew it might affect their relationship, he’d denied her crucial information that she had a right to know.

Ben wept as he infiltrated the mind of his younger self. Geoff relaxed, bored. This would only strengthen Ben’s position with Jenny and weaken Geoff’s, so he had no interest in it. Ben’s childhood used to elicit his sympathy, but now it was ammunition. Yes it was selfish, but he didn’t care - Ben was a self-satisfied arsehole. Geoff closed his eyes and thought of all the things he could do to Jenny – sucking her lovely tits, licking her pussy, stroking her perfect body. Imagining his penis in her mouth sent sperm racing around in his balls. It had to happen. Ben would be crushed.

He felt his penis. It was hard as iron and needed relief. Ben was milking his story, so Geoff slipped into the bathroom and pressed up against Tash while she was showering. From behind he rubbed her with his fingers, and then entered her. He rode her hard, fantasising about Jenny all the way.

When Tash was in bed, Geoff returned to their door.

‘Ben, I’m sorry. I had no idea. All Geoff said was that you murdered her.’

‘Will murdered her. I witnessed it.’

She looked into his eyes. ‘I panic because I don’t want to lose what I feel. I’ve given everything to you, Ben, and I couldn’t start again.’

‘I know you couldn’t.’ He pressed her head against his chest. ‘We have to trust each other. Geoff’s a piece of shit. He wants to destroy what he can’t have. He knows you love me, and like a spiteful child he can’t accept it. He’s sad and lonely, but don’t feel sympathy - he’s warped enough to try to steal our happiness.’

‘He couldn’t do that,’ Jenny whispered and then kissed him.

Ben closed his eyes. ‘Jenny, please don’t do this to me again, or I’ll get paranoid every time I leave you.’

Jenny stroked his hair. ‘I just don’t want secrets. When I’m told something about you I didn’t know, I wonder why you hadn’t told me and I start to read too much into it. Is there anything else Geoff could use?’

‘No. Only lies.’

‘I’m sorry, Ben,’ she said, then moved her mouth to his ear and whispered, ‘Let me make it up to you…’

Life had flooded back into her features and moonlight seeping through the blind highlighted her golden hair.

She kissed him, slowly guiding his hand beneath her nightdress and letting go when his fingers pressed against her knickers. He pushed the elastic aside and entered her. Already wet, she enjoyed the sensation. She looked up at him and started to unbutton his shirt. His eyes brimmed with passion and warmth and she knew this would be her most memorable experience.

She stared at his body, ran her hands over his shoulders, arms and stomach, relishing both the feel of his hard muscles and his finger inside her. She slipped her hand inside his boxer shorts and felt his huge, erect penis. Ben writhed with pleasure as it throbbed in her hand.

‘Put it in me,’ she pleaded. She was so excited, so ready, that his finger wasn’t enough. She wanted to give herself to him. She rode his finger, forcing it deeper inside.

‘Are you-’

‘I’m on the pill.’

He lay on his back, removed his clothes and then sat up. His hard-on stood in the air.

‘Jenny, I will never forget this,’ he said while she undressed. ‘I want to remember everything.’ He looked around the room. ‘These walls with the embossed flower pattern, the vaulted ceiling, the fluffy carpet and the blind opened at forty-five degrees. The smell of the vanilla candle on the display stand, the texture of these blankets, and the full moon that lights this room. The-’

Jenny kissed him and then smiled as she eased herself onto the bed and opened her legs.

Ben crawled in front of her.

‘I never thought I’d be this relaxed and excited,’ she told him.

‘That’s because it feels right.’

He moved up to her, briefly closed his eyes and then eased himself onto her, supporting his weight with his arms so he didn’t hurt her. His penis was so hard that he didn’t need to use his hand to position it – he just shuffled his hips until it poked at her vagina. She moaned in anticipation. He arched back a couple of inches and then slowly moved forward. Finding the opening, he carefully entered her. Amazingly, she took his helmet and he groaned with pleasure. Jenny sighed loudly, and satisfied she was not in pain, Ben penetrated further until four inches were in, and then he began to thrust in and out.

Within seconds, he understood what making love really meant. Each time he’d had sex before, it was the relief he sought, the physical and mental bliss that ejaculation provided. Now he found true pleasure in the act of making love with someone he adored, in expressing his unconditional devotion to her. He was making love with her and not once did he think of it as sex. There would be no pressure to satisfy, no fantasies. All he wanted was to send a message to her – he loved her, and nothing in the world could change that, no circumstance could separate them. Looking in her beautiful eyes, he could barely handle this feeling. It was beyond comparison. Sex was a hopeless substitute practised by people who didn’t understand or hadn’t found ‘love’.

Jenny wrapped her legs around him, frantically scratching his back and kissing his neck. His penis was enormous, but she barely felt any pain. She was so wet and ready, and he was so gentle, that pleasure overrode it. She pulled him closer, wanting to break his self-restraint - their bodies were kept inches apart by his arms and she wanted them pressed together, wanted to feel his sweat.

Then his penis probed deeper, began to hurt her, even though their bodies were still slightly parted. Listening to his moans, she smiled. He was in Heaven and she hoped this was his most fulfilling sexual experience. Her nerve endings tingled inside, and though she knew Geoff and Tash would hear her screams, she couldn’t stop them. Right now she didn’t care what anyone thought of her. Geoff wasn’t worth considering anyway – he wanted to break them up.

Suddenly he was on top of her. Geoff!

Smiling, his tanned body glistening with each rise and fall, his lust-filled eyes fixed on her breasts, his lips parted in euphoria…

‘What’s the matter?’ Ben wheezed, slowing his rhythm.

Jenny pulled him closer. ‘Nothing. Don’t stop.’

He pumped faster. Jenny buried the back of her head in the pillow and gripped his hips, relishing the feel of the firm muscles forcing his dick into her.

Sensations carried him away. He was floating in a static sky that charged every pore, bone and muscle, sending multiple, furious signals to his brain, which couldn’t possibly store them and threatened to explode in ecstasy.

He let the feeling stay, floated weightlessly, allowing fate to dictate everything - he would go where it desired. He was its humble servant, disciplined and obedient. He wanted to stay here…

Feeling his semen rouse like a stormy sea, he opened his eyes. Jenny’s screams echoed in his head. She was about to orgasm. He forced himself to relax, to slow down, wanting her to come.