Persona - A Disturbing Psychological Thriller (24 page)

They parked thirty feet east of the location, but that didn’t matter - there was a diver with them who searched the water, and a short while later dragged John-Paul’s body on to the bank. She ran up to him, but they kept her back. Zen closed his eyes as the diver pumped air into the cunt’s lungs. It should have been
her
doing it. This was so wrong. It was painful, a travesty, and it hurt him to watch.

The bitch’s father pointed to the trees where he was hiding, and moments later the dogs were released from the van and sniffed for his scent. Suddenly, the handlers detached the leashes and the dogs bounded towards him.

‘Shit!’ Zen jumped out of the tree and sprinted away. Hearing the little cunts barking, he cursed himself for the disadvantageous position he was in. He had to get out of these grounds and that meant running for a mile. He stopped and scanned the undergrowth around him. He needed a sharp stick. He couldn’t outrun the dogs – he’d have to kill them. The cunts were barking furiously – he had seconds to prepare himself.

‘Fucking hell!’ he yelled. ‘The bitch will regret this.’

The first dog leapt at him. Zen spun around and drove the stick into the canine’s throat. It slumped to the ground. He whipped the stick free and turned to the other dog, but it was almost on top of him and he couldn’t aim a strike in time, so he swung at it instead, hitting the dog on the side of its head. It went down, but jumped back up and bared its teeth at him. It hunched its body back ready to attack.

‘Come on then,
cunt
.’ He held the stick back.

The dog sprang from the ground and Zen growled as he drove the stick into its throat. It yelped and collapsed at his feet.

Zen threw the stick away and ran off. He could hear the handlers close by.

31

Stacey, Fay and Dave were sitting on the settee in Stacey’s living room, waiting for Ryan to turn up for the double date he’d arranged.

Dave felt uneasy. He’d always wanted to be in a situation where he could enjoy the company of both his best friend and his girlfriend, but not in these circumstances. Fay and Stacey were exchanging pleasantries as if all was well, which suggested to him that Fay hadn’t told Stacey what she’d learnt about Ryan. Did that mean Fay was saving her revelation until Ryan arrived? Beads of sweat formed on Dave’s forehead. Ryan would retaliate if she shouted at him, and if it turned physical he would have to intervene. This was a frightening prospect, given that Ryan would just have learnt that Dave had betrayed him.

Ryan had spoken in confidence to him and, trusting Dave as he did, would have expected the words to go no further. Dave had broken that trust. Where would that leave their friendship? How could life go on if, after twenty-one years, their special bond was broken? If that happened he would forever despise himself for putting someone else before Ryan.

His desperation to hold onto Fay had overtaken his loyalty, and right now he regretted it.

Dave fidgeted. Fay must be waiting to bollock Ryan, but why? Yes, she had a fiery temperament, but had she not considered
him
? Was she prepared to jeopardise his friendship with Ryan? Surely his feelings mattered to her, so what was she planning? Who would it benefit if she attacked Ryan? Stacey would have to suffer the heartache of self-delusion in front of them all.

Almost three weeks had passed since he’d told Fay of Ryan’s plans, and he’d assumed that since then she would have spoken to Stacey about them. He hadn’t asked her if she had, since it was a touchy subject. When Ryan invited Fay and him to join them at Stacey’s, it had surprised him, and he reasoned that Stacey had not confronted Ryan about the revelation. The alternative was that Stacey had confronted him and forgiven him, which he found unlikely.

Fay had seemed excited by the invitation. Conscious of appearing too weak, Dave had hidden his apprehensiveness from her. Now it appeared that her enthusiasm had been nurtured by a desire to attack Ryan. That scared him.

And then, Ryan entered.

‘Hello, everyone,’ he said. They all welcomed him. ‘I’ve got the scoff, so give me a minute to serve it up.’

As Ryan walked to the kitchen, Dave glanced at Fay. She was watching Ryan, but with a neutral rather than resentful expression. Part of him wanted to tell Ryan what he’d done, but a stronger part urged him to stand back and let things unfold.

Minutes later, Ryan returned with Chinese arranged on two plates. The others had moved to the dining room table. Ryan laid down the meals in front of Fay and Stacey, then fetched his own and Dave’s, and four bottles of wine.

‘Ryan – a gentleman. I’d never have imagined it,’ Fay said, staring at him. ‘Not after speaking to you at the pub that time.’

Ryan smiled. ‘Never judge by first impressions.’

‘I think drink makes us a little anti,’ Stacey added.

‘Let’s get anti then!’ Ryan opened a bottle of wine and filled the glasses. Fay grabbed hers and gulped down half of it.

‘How are you, Dave?’ Ryan asked.

‘Fine, thanks.’

Ryan laughed. ‘Listen to us – acting formal for the women.’

‘Don’t
pretend
,’ Fay said, finishing her wine and refilling her glass. ‘We want you to be yourselves, don’t we, Stacey?’

Stacey nodded.

‘Maybe you wouldn’t like who I really am, Fay,’ Ryan said.

‘I think I would. I’ve heard from the best source.’

Ryan glanced at Dave. ‘Yeah, I
bet
you have.’

Detecting hostility in Ryan’s tone, Dave felt a shiver. Because Fay knew the truth, she was patronising Ryan. That terrified him. He’d told her Ryan was mad. How could she be so foolish?

Stacey rested her hand on Ryan’s. ‘How was your day?’

‘Okay.’

‘You been pumping those muscles?’ Fay asked him.

‘I train,’ Ryan replied.

‘I can see that. D’you put them to good use?’

‘Depends what that is.’

Fay smiled. ‘Rough and
satisfying
sex.’

Ryan smirked as Dave turned red. She was a bitch, but Dave deserved it for opening his big mouth.

‘Fay!’ Stacey protested. ‘That’s my boyfriend!’

‘That’s why I want to get to know him.’

‘You’re talking to him as if he’s some porn star.’

‘That’s hardly an insult,’ Ryan said.

Fay emptied her wine. ‘I didn’t think so either, but Stacey’s pretty sensitive.’

Ryan nodded. ‘We all have weaknesses.’

Stacey looked down. He’d gone back into his hiding place and was retaliating against the compassion she’d shown him.

‘What’s the matter?’ Ryan asked, noticing her dismay.

‘The usual things.’ She dug her fork into her food.

‘Care to share?’

‘I have nothing to hide, but maybe you do, so I’ll say nothing.’ Stacey chewed her food.

‘Whoah!’ Ryan dropped his cutlery on the table. ‘Stacey, we’re all friends here, our secrets should be exposed.’

‘If you grew up, there wouldn’t be any.’

Ryan finished his wine, refilled Fay’s glass, then opened a new bottle and spoke as he topped up the remaining glasses. ‘Well, you’re never mistaken are you, Stacey? So you must be right.’ He turned to Fay who had already emptied her glass. ‘Has she ever been wrong?’ he asked.

‘Are you trying to turn my friend against me?’ Stacey asked him. ‘That’s childish and spiteful.’

Ryan sneered at her. ‘Worried what you might learn about yourself?’

‘No. I know myself.’

He turned back to Fay. ‘Well?’

‘Of course Stacey’s been wrong about people before. We all have.’

Ryan beamed at Stacey. She said nothing, just placed her cutlery down and moved to the settee in the adjoining lounge.

‘Nothing to say about this, Dave?’ Ryan asked him. ‘I find that inconsistent.’

‘I don’t want to get involved.’

‘Fuck me, first time for everything.’

‘I think I’ve finished too,’ Dave said, and then left the table and sat down opposite Stacey in an armchair that had loose, chipped armrests.

‘Must be us.’ Ryan grinned at Fay. ‘So, what if I
am
a porn star?’

‘Then lucky, lucky, Stacey!’

‘Fay!’ Stacey shouted. ‘Why are you flirting with him?’

‘I’m not flirting,’ Fay snapped. ‘I’m having a laugh. Maybe you are
too sensitive.’

‘Well you could use some of it,’ Stacey said. ‘What about Dave? That’s his best friend!’

Fay exaggerated a sigh. ‘I’m getting to know your boyfriend, that’s all.’ She tipped more wine into her mouth and giggled when she noticed Ryan wink at her.

Dave felt confused. He knew they weren’t flirting - Fay would never do that to him. But he did think she was lulling Ryan into a false sense of security before she screamed at him. But why was she content to do that when it was upsetting Stacey? Soon, Stacey would learn the truth. Would that not cause her enough pain in Fay’s eyes? It didn’t make sense.

‘Shall we go and sit with the miserable gang?’ Ryan asked Fay, who nodded.

They left their unfinished meals beside the others and joined Stacey and Dave. Ryan passed them their glasses and sat down next to Stacey. Fay sat beside him.

Ryan stared at Stacey and then Dave. ‘Are we going to get over this, team?’

Stacey’s tone was sombre. ‘You’re the only one that needs to get over this.’

Ryan glared at her. ‘Stacey, I don’t want to hear any of your bollocks when I’m on the piss. In fact, I don’t want to hear it ever again, because it bores me.’

Stacey could fight no more. Not wanting him to hear her cry, she swallowed a mouthful of wine, hoping it would numb her pain. His false persona was back and as strong as it had ever been, and she couldn’t chip away at it now – they needed privacy for her to do that. Remembering the marks on her neck, she struggled to hold back the tears.

‘I’ve never known you to be so quiet, Dave,’ Ryan said.

‘I’m just drinking my drink,’ Dave said and then took a sip of it.

‘How are you two getting on?’ Ryan glanced at Fay and then Dave.

‘Don’t ask.’ Fay shook her head. The wine had taken effect.

Dave sat up. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ He felt his stomach burn.

Fay gulped down more wine. ‘You know what it means.’

‘F-Fay!’ he stuttered. ‘I can’t believe you’d bring this up.’

‘Well, what d’you expect? You think I’m satisfied?’

‘You’re drunk,’ Dave whispered.

‘I’m merry. Besides, nothing will change until you face the problem.’

Unable to suppress his emotions, Dave buried his face in his hands and whimpered. How could she reveal his inadequacy in front of these people? How could she be so hurtful towards him? She didn’t know he’d told Ryan – she was prepared to humiliate him in the presence of his best friend. Everything good inside him felt as if it had been flushed away. He looked up at her and shook his head. ‘I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.’

‘Fuck off!’ Fay emptied her glass and stood it on the carpet. ‘I’m sick of your whining. I deserve better.’

‘What d’you mean, “better”?’

‘Someone who can give me a fucking orgasm!’

‘Fay!’ Stacey shouted with renewed strength. ‘How could you be so cruel?’

‘Because I’m normal and I have normal needs. When they’re not satisfied I get pissed off.’

‘Well I’m shocked. Right now, I’m ashamed you’re my friend. I’ve seen a side to you I didn’t know was there.’

‘Oh listen to you – Florence
fucking
Nightingale,’ Fay snapped. ‘You think you’re perfect, but where has it got you? You think Ryan’s satisfied? Why then does he want to
fuck
other women?’

Stacey’s features creased in confusion. ‘What are you talking about?’

Bewildered, Ryan stared at Fay. Dave’s head was still in his hands – he had heard what was said, but no longer cared.

‘He’s into voyeurism,’ Fay explained, ‘and he’s using you to practise it.’

‘How do you know that?’ Stacey looked at her in disgust.

Fay nodded at Dave. ‘Waterworks told me…’

Ryan glared at Dave. The cunt had told her about the mine! How could he? Where was the allegiance? How
dare
he? He was already pissed off with Dave for telling Fay about his past, but now that Dave had fucked with his journey he was furious. Dave knew how important it was for him to find his place and had betrayed him by leaking confidential information vital to the voyage… Time to hurt the cunt bad, he thought. How dare Dave abuse his trust! Tonight was always going to be a success, but now he would put everything into it. He downed his wine.

‘Is this true, Ryan?’ Stacey asked him, teary eyed. ‘Voyeurism?’

‘Yep.’

A sudden, shocking thought hit Dave. He looked up miserably at Ryan, desperate to know if it was the case. ‘You were going to have sex with
Fay
?’