Read Perilous Pranks (Renaissance Faire Mystery) Online
Authors: Joyce Lavene,Jim Lavene
Tags: #Mystery, #Ghost, #Humorous, #Women Sleuths
“Let’s go and talk to him anyway. Maybe he saw something. They should be finishing up the last joust. I’ll head that way. You try not to talk to me when other people are around. I don’t want everyone to think I’m crazy.”
Her laugh was vicious. “Too late for that, sweetie. The only reason anyone tolerates you here is because the Bailiff loves you. Remember that in future.”
That was depressing. I didn’t expect anything else from her. It was one reason, out of many, that I never spent any more time with her than I had to. She
always
ruined my day.
“What about Shakespeare—Pat?” I asked before we left the quiet spot behind the stage. “He was there right after I found you this morning. Now he’s vanished.”
“He was always a coward. He was probably sneaking a peek at Marcus and me. I wouldn’t worry about him. I would appreciate it if you found my enchanted bracelet. The sorcerer who gave it to me—another excellent lover—said it would give me immortality.”
“Guess he had that wrong.”
“Or the killer was able to take my life because I’d removed my bracelet. Think about
that
, Jessie. I’m going to freshen up. I’ll meet you at the field.”
When she was gone, I took a deep breath. It felt good to be alone.
But I was getting a handle on this. Wanda was dead. I was helping her. I understood what I was supposed to do. All I had to do was figure out who killed her, and everything would be fine.
I was hurrying past the Monastery Bakery, the delectable smells of coffee and fresh cinnamon rolls enticing me to stop, when I heard a
psst
sound coming from behind some bushes. I got off of the cobblestones and went to investigate.
“Is she
here
?” Pat/Shakespeare asked in a trembling voice.
“What are you doing back there? I’ve been looking all over for you.”
He peeked out from behind the greenery. “Is she here? Have you seen Wanda?”
I knelt on the grass and glanced around before I answered. “You mean dead Wanda?”
His voice, usually melodic and smooth, was a gasp. “
The ghost of Wanda.”
“Yes. I guess she’s appeared to both of us.”
“She’s hideous.
Terrifying
. I have to get away from the Village. I’m trying to keep her from following me.”
“Good luck with that. I’ve spent way too much time with her today. She wants me to help find her killer. Did she ask you to do that too?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know why she appeared to me.”
“You might as well get out of there. If she wants to find you, she’ll find you. She’s a ghost. She can go anywhere and do anything. She stuck her head through my door.”
He wept, covering his face with his hands. His little triangle-shaped beard quivered. “You have to help me get away from her, Jessie. I have a bad heart and arthritis. I’m not a young man. I can’t take the strain.”
“I don’t know anything I can do to help you. I can’t get rid of her either. Maybe since she’s following me, she won’t bother you anymore.”
Shakespeare shook all over. “She’s
following
you? You’ve led her right to
me
.”
Sure enough, there was Wanda. She was doing her new trick of seeming to dislocate all her body parts at the same time. I felt impervious to her horror as I watched her scare him. Shakespeare went screaming and running toward the castle.
Wanda laughed. “That was fun. Wait until tonight.”
“Whatever. I’m going to the field now. Are you coming?”
We walked through the crowds. Wanda literally walked
through
them.
Chase was holding court for vegetable justice with a big crowd of visitors. He didn’t need any residents for the stocks. A pretty young woman, dressed like Robin Hood, was throwing half rotten tomatoes at her boyfriend who kept asking her to stop.
I saluted Chase as I walked by, smiling at his serious expression under his white wig. He nodded and turned back to the job at hand.
“You know you’re lucky to be with him,” Wanda said. “He’s one of the most honorable men I’ve even known. Do you know how hard I worked
every
time you went back to university, trying to find someone who’d get him to cheat on you? He never even noticed. If I’d been younger, I would’ve done it myself. A word of advice?”
I was angry and miserable already. “Sure. Why not?”
“Don’t marry him, Jessie. He’s
too
good. Once you put that ring on his finger, he’s going to stray. Mark my words.”
I gritted my teeth and started walking faster. I couldn’t find Wanda’s killer soon enough.
We found Sir Marcus Bishop cleaning his armor in the stable near the Field of Honor. He was indeed a handsome young man with his lean body, brilliant blue eyes, and flowing blond hair.
He smiled as I approached him and got to his feet. “My lady.” He put one hand across his heart and bowed to me. “To what do I owe the honor of this visit?”
“Isn’t he the best?” Wanda sighed. “He’s so handsome and so sweet. I could just
eat
him up.”
She ran her fingers through his hair and stood close to him, whispering in his ear. Lucky for Sir Marcus that he didn’t appear to hear or feel her.
“I don’t know if you’re aware yet that Wanda Le Fey was found dead at her cottage early this morning.” I glanced at his dirty sword. “She was killed with a large blade of some kind.”
His eyes followed my gaze. “And you think
I
had something to do with it?” His blue eyes appeared truly wounded that I would suggest such a thing. “I would
never
have hurt my lady, Wanda.”
I nodded, trying to avoid watching Wanda’s ghostly flirting with the knight. “I appreciate that. Any idea who might have wanted to hurt her?”
Two young wenches, whose job it was to get the crowd excited during the joust, approached Sir Marcus. It seemed Wanda wasn’t the
only
one who wanted the young knight’s favor.
“Is there
anything
we can do for you, Sir Marcus?” One of the girls, a buxom blond, giggled.
Wanda kept rubbing her blue body up against his. He didn’t seem to feel it at all. He put aside his armor and invited both pretty young things to sit on his knees.
“I am feeling a little hungry and thirsty after the joust. Perhaps you could fetch me some food and drink while I finish cleaning my armor.”
Both girls kissed him and ran to do his bidding. It appeared to be a normal circumstance for them. I knew it wasn’t unusual for the knights to have groupies. They were very popular in the Village.
“I’m sorry, Lady Jessie. I have no idea what could’ve happened to Wanda. I shall mourn her passing.”
I could tell.
“I know. So many people will.” I tried harder to ignore Wanda’s antics. My stomach was churning, watching her. “Just for the sake of asking, where did you go when you left Wanda’s house last night?”
His brows rose. “Have you been following me, lady? I have heard rumor that you are marrying the Bailiff. Are you looking for a last fling?”
Knights also have
very
large egos. No doubt due to all the attention given to them and the groupies willing to do anything for them. I knew the kind of hero worship that went on.
Chase had started in the Village as a knight and gained his reputation fighting for the queen’s honor. I’d heard rumors about him, too, after we’d met. I made
sure
I knew what he was doing, even though we weren’t together for years after that.
“No, Sir Marcus. I’m not looking for a fling. But I assume you have more than one lady you dance attendance upon. I’m not a stranger as to how knights live.”
He shrugged and put one leg up on a bale of hay, knee bent as though he was posing for a photo. “Of course. Most knights aren’t exclusive. There are so few of us to go around.”
“
What
?” Wanda stopped trying to touch him. “What are you saying, Marcus? You never told me there was someone else. How could you betray me that way?”
I’d never seen Wanda cry, at least not while she was alive. Big fat tears rolled down her blue cheeks and her lips quivered. I felt sorry for her. Obviously she’d thought the young knight was hers. It was too late now to do anything about it.
She couldn’t make the knight feel her presence, but she could whip up an errant breeze that moaned through the stable rafters, shaking pigeons from their perches and rattling the windows. Hay flew everywhere in small whirling devils that blew up dust on the knight’s armor.
“What’s going on?” He spun around as the swirling hay pelted him.
“Who else were you seeing?” I raised my voice to be heard over the gust of wind.
“I don’t know.” He slapped at the hay. “A few others.”
“Last night,” I persisted. “Where did you go after you left Wanda’s cottage last night?”
“Ginny Stewart at the Lady of the Lake invited me over for a drink.” He was fighting off the hay as it began striking at him like small arrows. “I went over there. Then I went home. What’s happening? Why isn’t the hay hitting
you
?”
Chapter Nine
I curtsied and left him there with Wanda haunting him. Ginny was a likely candidate for an affair with the knight. She’d always flirted with Chase. She wasn’t as obnoxious as Wanda, but she was annoying.
Walking away from the Field of Honor, Wanda finally joined me again.
“Ginny Stewart?” she fumed. “
Really
? He was seeing that cow behind my back. I can’t believe it. I thought he loved me. It never occurred to me that he was cheating. I’ll get him for that.”
“Is that how you plan to spend your afterlife—tormenting your ex-husband and making Sir Marcus pay for being with other women? Don’t you have something important you should take care of? Shouldn’t this be a spiritual time for you?”
“Don’t be stupid. I’m dead. Spiritual things are all I have. That, and revenge for anyone who has ever wronged me. We have to go talk to Ginny. I think I need to throw a few pewter mugs at her. I can’t believe Marcus spent time with her. The woman must be sixty years old or better. What was he
thinking
?”
“You know how the knights are, Wanda.” I stopped to admire some jewelry being sold out of a handcart on the side of the cobblestone walkway. I hoped that would obscure what would be viewed as me talking to myself. “They go after anyone who shows them any attention. Do you feel any better about those two young girls being with him?”
“Oddly enough, I do feel a bit better about them. Thinking Marcus left me to go to Ginny makes me feel dirty.” She stared at me. “Do you think he killed me?”
“Did he have a reason to kill you?”
“No. I was as good as gold with him, gave him everything he wanted.”
“Well then, let’s not consider him.”
“He has a sword,” she whispered. “He could have killed me and taken my enchanted bracelet. Perhaps you should alert the police so they can take a peek at him.”
“Okay. I’ll call Detective Almond.”
“And what would you be calling me about?” Detective Almond’s familiar voice—speaking around a roasted turkey leg—said from behind me.
I turned around quickly and smiled. “I was just talking to the young knight that Wanda was sleeping with. They were together last night. He said he left her before she was killed, but he does have a sword.”
He wiped his hands on a napkin. “And you think this man may have killed Wanda? Or is this someone who can get
you
off the hook?”
“I’m not
on
the hook. I know it looks like I had a part in this, but I didn’t.”
“Who were you talking to just now, Jessie? Guilty conscience?”
“No. I’m in contact with Wanda. She wants me to help her look for her killer.”
He laughed and then almost choked on a large piece of turkey he tried to swallow at the same time. “This place can do funny things to people. Have you finally lost it?”
I raised my head and held my chin high. “I haven’t lost anything. The knight’s name is Sir Marcus Bishop. He was at the Field of Honor. Maybe
you
should talk to him.”
“And maybe
you
should let the police investigate this matter.”
I started walking away from him. “I would—
if
you were investigating someone besides
me
.”
“Watch your back, Jessie. We might be coming for you.”
I ignored him and raced back toward the Main Gate. I thought Detective Almond would talk to Marcus. Chase was probably right about him being a good man, although I questioned him being a good detective. At least in the Village, he frequently had Chase do his work for him.
“Lady Jessie.” The Tornado Twins—Diego and Lorenzo—bowed and swept their red, plumed hats from their heads. The brothers were similar in appearance—both black- haired and dark-eyed, short and thin. They weren’t twins though. That was only their stage act.
“Twins,” I responded as I patted their pig that was on a gold leash. “It’s a wonderful day at the Faire.”
“Indeed it is,” Lorenzo agreed. “News of Wanda Le Fey’s death has reached our ears. Forsooth, we are devastated—and
intrigue
d. Did you truly slay the lady?”
“No. I just dyed her blue.”
Both men started laughing so hard that their pig squealed and ran away.
“Go get him,” Diego said to his brother.
“No. I got him last time,” Lorenzo retorted. “You go get him.”
Diego looked up and stared directly into Wanda’s scowling blue face. “I would, brother, but there’s a dead woman standing in front of me. I am afraid I have soiled myself.”
“
You
can see her?” I asked him.
“No, he can’t see dead people,” Lorenzo said. “I’ve been telling him that his whole life—no dead people. Excuse us, Lady Jessie. We must catch our pig.”
Lorenzo ran after the pig to the laughter of the nearby visitors. Diego didn’t follow him right away.
“Be careful,” he warned. “Wanda looks
mad
.”
“He can
see
me,” Wanda shouted as he ran away.