Perfect Cover (3 page)

CHAPTER 5

Code Word: Herkie

I won’t repeat the words I screamed as I fell, but suffice to say, they weren’t “Go Big Gold.” I kept cursing when I hit the ground, but shut up the second I started bouncing.

“A trampoline?” I stared up at the ceiling and, for lack of a better audience, addressed God. “Why are you doing this to me?”

All around me, cheerleaders landed on their feet on the trampoline and bounced off to solid ground. Lucy herkied her way down, and the twins executed synchronized front flips.

“Why?”

“Why not?” This was Brooke, who, as far as I could tell, believed that she single-handedly put the
god
in God Squad. The cheerleading captain flipped to stand next to me, and I scrambled to my feet. Unlike the cheerleaders, I hadn’t been expecting to fall, and I hadn’t prepared a choreographed dismount. Instead, I’d more or less belly flopped, which, by the way, was totally going to leave a mark.

As I got my footing, Brooke appraised my movement. “You’re fast.”

“And you’re crazy,” I said. “What is this? I tell you I don’t want to be on your stupid little squad and you literally knock me off my feet and drop me onto a giant trampoline? What is wrong with you people?”

Brooke lashed out with her right leg, and only a life’s worth of training had me moving quickly enough to dodge the kick. I ducked, and her foot whizzed by my head.

“Like I said…” Brooke smiled again, that same toothless smile, as she threw a hard punch at my left side. “…fast.”

I moved quickly, and her hand caught air. “Like
I
said…” I countered with my own punch. “Crazy.”

My hand connected with her stomach, but she absorbed the hit, grabbed my hand, and sent me flying. I flipped, landed on my feet, and let my instincts take over. Kick after kick, punch after punch, we sparred. I was faster and stronger, but I also wasn’t used to fighting on a trampoline. She was.

She leapt at me, her leg extended, and it caught me on the shoulder. I rolled backward, pushing off the tramp and back onto my feet just as she came again, her foot whipping into a high-velocity roundhouse.

All I could think in the fraction of a second I had to move was that she didn’t know who she was messing with. That was
my
move.

I rolled to the side, and her roundhouse missed me. Before she landed, my foot snaked out and kicked her legs out from underneath her. She turned 360 degrees sideways in the air, tucked herself into a ball, and somehow managed to land on her feet. That gave me just enough time to survey my surroundings and begin forcing her toward the edge of the massive trampoline.

Left, right, left…I threw punch after punch at her, and Brooke dodged, her glossy ponytail flying back and forth with the movement. I advanced and she backed up until she was a single step away from firm ground.

Taking advantage of the trampoline under my feet, I bounced once, twice, three times, and sailed over her, landing in ready stance between two of the others, who didn’t seem the least bit interested in the fact that their fearless leader and I were engaged in some hard-core hand-to-hand.

I crooked my finger at Brooke. “Enough with the trampoline,” I said. “Let’s play my way.”

Brooke effortlessly flipped off the trampoline and looked down at her nails. “Nah,” she said. “I’m tired of playing.” She turned to the others. “You guys see what you needed to see?”

“Yeah.”

“Yup.”

“I’m good.”

“Works for me.”

“Welcome to the squad, Toby!” Lucy, who I could only infer seriously needed to switch to decaf, squealed at high volume. She threw her arms around me. “We’re going to have so much fun!”

This was not happening.

I extracted myself from Lucy’s grasp. For the first time, I really looked at the room around me, and the venomous response on the tip of my tongue faded into what in all honesty I would describe as incoherent mumbling.

“Wha…huh…whaaa?”

While the drop to the trampoline hadn’t been more than eight or ten feet, I was now standing at the top of a spiral staircase. The others pushed and prodded me down it, and when I reached the bottom, all I could do was continue with my incoherent mumbling. The room was easily three stories tall, with thick white Plexiglas walls that looked like something out of
The Matrix.
I counted four doors, two staircases, and what can only be described as the world’s biggest flat-screen television.

I couldn’t help thinking of my flippant words to Noah the day before. Unbeknownst to me, the cheerleaders really did have a secret lair.

“Impressive, isn’t it?” Tara took a step forward to stand beside me. Her low voice echoed in the massive space. “I’m sure you must be overwhelmed. We all were, at first.”

“Maybe
you
were”—Chloe delivered the words with a patented Chloe Larson eye roll—“but I’m never whelmed.”

“All right.” Tara rolled with the punches. “We were all overwhelmed at first, except for Chloe, who is unwhelmable.” Her low, even tone never changed, but the look in her eyes at the “unwhelmable” comment made me smile for the first time since I’d been told to stretch that morning.

“What exactly is this place?” I addressed the question to Tara, who seemed (teal hand incident aside) the least likely to force me to commit cheerocide.

“This,” Tara said simply, “is the Quad.”

“The Quad,” I repeated.

The other girls nodded.

“The Squad Quad,” Brooke said, and as she stepped forward, the other girls, even Tara, edged back. “An underground, state-of-the-art, soundproof, bulletproof, boyproof, waterproof, digitalized, motorized, tantalizingly secure fourteen-thousand-square-foot enclosure equipped with everything from radar to TiVo.”

“TiVo,” I repeated.

“Let me break it down for you, To-bee.” Brooke broke my name into two distinct syllables. “You’re standing in the middle of one of the government’s most elite operative agencies.”

“Operatives.” I couldn’t seem to stop repeating everything she said.

“Operatives. Secret agents. Spies.
Charlie’s Angels
meets James Bond meets
Bring It On.
”

“Bring what on?”

Brooke gave me a look. “We’re the best of the best. We’re pretty, we’re smart…” She arched an eyebrow at me, and I remembered the way she’d thrown me across the room. “We’re in perfect physical condition, and best of all, we never get caught.” She shot me a toothy grin. “After all, who’s going to suspect the cheerleaders?”

Not me, that was for damn sure.

“You’re telling me that Bayport High’s varsity cheerleading squad is a cover for a group of government superspies?” She had to realize how ridiculous that sounded.

“You know, Toby, maybe you’re not as slow as we thought.”

I didn’t have time to respond to that particular insult before Brooke lifted her hands and clapped eight times, a rhythm I vaguely remembered trying to scour out of my brain after the one mandatory pep rally I hadn’t managed to skip the year before. As soon as Brooke finished clapping, the others repeated her motions, and the lights dimmed.

“Screen on.” Brooke didn’t sound like a cheerleader. I didn’t have time to decide what she did sound like before the plasma screen in front of us turned on and an image appeared.

“Is that my yearbook picture?” I almost didn’t recognize myself. They’d blown the picture up to larger-than-life-size, and you could totally see up my nose.

“Wow. Talk about unfortunate photos.” One of the cheerleaders let out a low whistle at the picture, but Brooke glared whoever it was back into silence.

“Toby Guinevere Klein. Born August nineteenth. Brown hair, brown eyes, medium skin tone. Five feet, three inches, a hundred and three pounds as of last Wednesday.”

First the picture, now my weight and my hideous middle name. I couldn’t wait to see what they pulled out next.

“Your father’s a physicist. Your mother’s a karate instructor. Your little brother, Noah—”

“Leave Noah out of this.”

Brooke inclined her head slightly. “Fine. We’ll get back to you.”

That definitely sounded like a threat.

“Third-degree black belt, two suspensions so far this school year, a total of fourteen at your last seven schools, dating back to the third grade, when you belted a sixth grader in the groin for throwing gravel at your classmates.”

I smiled. I’d almost forgotten about that.

“You’re a novice computer hacker.”

I narrowed my eyes. Who was she calling novice?

“Next.” At her one-word command, the image on the screen changed (thank God), and I found myself looking at an extensive list of company names and dates.

“Look familiar?”

I skimmed the list: Freemont Electronics, Conley Anti-Virus, Semi-National Bank and Trust, the Girl Scouts of America…

“Vaguely familiar,” I replied before she could continue.

“It’s a list of every secure system you’ve breached in the last twenty-six months,” Brooke said, and for the first time, I caught something that might have sounded like respect in her pretty-girl voice.

“Impressed?” I asked.

Chloe scoffed on Brooke’s behalf. “Get over yourself, hacker spaz.”

Apparently, a simple “computer geek” was too passé.

“Impressed?” Brooke repeated. “Puh-lease. This is kiddie play.”

Hey! I was deeply insulted. That bank and trust one hadn’t exactly been a piece of cake.

“What
is
impressive,” Brooke continued, “is what you did twenty-six months ago.” She turned her attention back to the screen. “Next.”

I recognized the code the moment I saw it. “Oh,” I said. “That.”

“Yes. That.”

Before I explain what “that” was, I’d like to take this opportunity to say that when I’d weaseled my way past the firewalls and hijacked one of the user IDs, I thought the site was fake, one of those things that a hacker will put up on the Net just to see if there’s anyone better out there. I figured that if it was legit, I wouldn’t break through, as simple as that—only not, because it was legit and I did break through. My bad.

“The Pentagon,” Brooke said. “Not bad for a thirteen-year-old girl.”

“I was almost fourteen.” I glanced away.

“Four months later, your dad was transferred here,” Brooke said. “And you’ve been lying low ever since.”

There wasn’t really anything to say to that. I had been lying kind of low. I mean, the Girl Scouts? Not exactly my best showing.

“Well, you’re in luck, Toby.” The no-teeth smile was back. “It’s football season, the Squad needs ten members, and our hacker graduated last year.”

“And if I say no?”

Brooke showed her teeth. “You won’t.” She walked over to a nearby conference table, and one by one, the other eight cheerleaders took their places, filling all but two of the seats. Brooke leaned back and hit some buttons on her chair’s arm. The image on the screen changed again.

“Tara Leery,” Brooke said. “Nice picture, by the way, Tare.”

Tara mouthed a silent “Thanks,” and Brooke looked back at the screen.

“British exchange student and linguistic specialist. Fluent in nine languages, functional in twelve others, Tara has a perfect ear for accents. If we come across it, she can learn to speak it.”

Brooke tapped a button with her French-manicured nail, and the picture on the plasma screen changed. “Bubbles Lane, contortionist.”

Brooke didn’t elaborate, but Bubbles did. “I can put my feet behind my head.”

I racked my mind for the proper response to her proud declaration, but the best I could do was a rather unenthusiastic “That’s nice.”

“It’s even nicer when you need someone to fit in a duffel bag,” Chloe said sharply. “Or when the bomb you need to deactivate is hidden in the back of an air duct with laser sensor triggers no normal person could avoid.”

A bomb? Personally, I wasn’t really sure Bubbles could deactivate a washing machine.

“And speaking of bombs…” Brooke paused as the screen changed again. “Lucy Wheeler, explosives and weaponry.”

I thought of Lucy jumping around doing herkies like a four-year-old on reverse Ritalin.

“Explosives?” I swallowed hard. “Weaponry?”

Lucy beamed at me. “I
love
Tasers.”

I took about five seconds to desperately hope they were joking.

“And right now, I’m working on the coolest bulletproof push-up bra.” Lucy’s smile grew, if possible, even brighter.

“It’s to die for.”

Tasers and bulletproof push-up bras. In practically the same sentence. So wrong. So, so wrong.

As I digested the wrongness of it all, Brooke ran through the rest of the squad. Apparently party girl Zee was a professional profiler, the twins generally came in handy because there were two of them (I
still
maintained they had a combined IQ lower than that of the average penguin), Chloe was their resident “gadget girl in Gucci,” and Brooke, as far as I could tell, was exactly what she had always appeared to be: a gorgeous, terrifying, manipulative bitch who could lie, cheat, and steal with the best of them.

“The entire squad is, of course, trained in hand-to-hand combat.”

I thought about how close Brooke’s roundhouse had come to taking me down. Could they all fight like that?

“You’re serious about this.” I don’t know why I said it. I mean, the giant plasma screen with the access code for the Pentagon should have been a big clue, but somehow, I couldn’t help asking.

Brooke looked straight through me. “We save lives, Toby. That’s how serious we are.”

I said nothing.

“We also cheer at games,” she continued. “We chant and we yell and we do backflips for the football team so that no one ever suspects we’re up to anything else.”

“And herkies,” Lucy added.

“And we do herkies,” Brooke amended. “Think you can handle it?” She leaned back in her chair, and she must have hit the button again, because all of a sudden, the list of companies I’d hacked into reappeared on the screen.

“Are you trying to blackmail me?” I kept my voice even.

Brooke shrugged. “Is it working?”

I closed my eyes for a long moment and then opened them again. “Maybe.”

Tasting victory, Brooke leaned forward. “You’re either with us or you’re against us,” she said. Like that was original. “If you’re with us, you’ll learn how to break into any building, how to lie your way into or out of any situation, how to look like one person one minute and another the next. You’ll go undercover, you’ll have limitless access to highly classified technology, and if you make it through your first two years, by your eighteenth birthday, you’ll be a fully authorized CIA operative. Sooner or later, you’ll probably save the world.” She paused. “Plus you’re like totally guaranteed to be on homecoming court.”