Perfect (10 page)

"Hey, where were you Friday night?" Georgie asked. "I
called, but nobody answered."

It's amazing how quickly a lie can pop out of your
mouth when you need it to. "At the movies," I said. "With
Mom and Ape Face."

"What'd you see?" Nola asked.

"Some stupid Disney thing. I slept through half of it."

Its not that I think they'd he mad at me if I told them
I spent the night at Ashley's. They just wouldn't get it.
They'd want to know how it happened. How did we know
each other, Ashley and me. Then, I'd have to A) lie some
more or B) tell them about Group. And I didn't want to
do either.

It's weird. We used to he really close, Nola, Georgie,
and me. Our parents called us the three amigas because
we did everything together. We were always over at each
other's houses, or going places with each other's families.
After my dad died, though, it was different. Nobody knew
how to act around me anymore, even my best friends.
They said things like adults would say: I'm sorry about
your father, Isabelle, and Maybe if you got out of bed and got
dressed, you'd feel better. But what did they know? They
still had their dads.

Going over to their houses was even worse. Their
moms would hug me so hard I couldn't breathe, or they'd just look at me with tears in their eyes. Isahelle, honey. It's
so good to see you. How are you? How's your mom? Every
time they did that I would think about my dad. And every
time I thought about my dad all I would want to do is eat
everything in sight, which you can't exactly do at somebody else's house.

Pretty soon a person gets tired of saying I'm fine. We're
fine. No, thanks, I'm not really hungry. So you stop going
over to people's houses. Then, after a while, everyone
stops asking how you are.

Later, the phone rang again.

My mother knocked on my door. "Isabelle? It's for you,
honey. It's Ashley."

It's Ashley!

As soon as my mom was out of earshot I could talk.
"Ohmygosh, Ashley," I said. "You won't believe what happened when I got home from your house."

Before you knew it we were talking away on the phone.
Isabelle Lee and Ashley Barnum, shooting the breeze. It
was actually not as weird as you would think.

"Anyway, my stomach is still killing me," I said. "Is
yours?"

"Listen, Isabelle," said Ashley. "You have to give your
body time to adjust. To flush itself out. Plus, you really
should alternate between throwing up and Ex-Lax, otherwise you could really mess up your system."

"How come you know so much?" I asked.

"I read a lot."

"Oh," I said. "Well, thanks for the advice."

"No problem," Ashley said.

I was still in bed with the covers hulled up to my ears. I
was curled up in a hall because when you've got the runs,
that's the only position that works. Every time I tried to
move, my stomach roared like Mount Vesuvius getting
ready to erupt. I was pretty sure I'd have to stay in bed for
the rest of my life, whereas Ashley got up at six a.m., did
two hours of aerobics in her basement, took a bath, and
finished all her homework.

She might not he human.

"So," Ashley said. "Do you think you'll make it to
school tomorrow?"

"I don't know yet. It depends how I feel in the morning."

"Well, I hope you feel better."

"Yeah," I said. "Me too."

"Hey," said Ashley. "If you make it to school, maybe
you want to sit with me and my friends at lunch?"

Maybe? Is she kidding me?

"Sure," I said casually, like I get asked to sit at the center table every day. As soon as I said it though, I thought
about Nola and Georgic. I pictured their faces when I
went to sit with Ashley instead of them.

"Well, I gotta get going, Isabelle," Ashley said. "See
you tomorrow?"

"'Kay," I said. "See you tomorrow."

I hung up the phone and pulled my knees in tight to
my chest, giving myself a little hug. Nola and Georgic had
each other. I had Ashley.

At around six o'clock I got out of bed and hobbled downstairs. In the kitchen, my mother and April were all co:ied up together at the table, studying for April's social studies
test. The whole room smelled like tomato soup.

I watched from the doorway.

"Okay, April," my mother was saying. "I want you to
name the original New England colonies."

Ape Face was eating a grilled cheese cut into Liuar-
ters. "Easy," she said, squeegeeing ketchup off her plate
with one of the triangles. "Massachusetts. Rhode Island.
Connecticut. New Hampshire."

"Wonderful!"

Normally I would get mad, seeing April suck up
all Mom's attention. Tonight I was feeling pretty good,
though. I was thinking about tomorrow, having lunch at
Ashley's table.

"Hi," I said from the doorway.

"Isabelle!" Mom said. She came over and gave me a
big hug. "Feeling better?"

"A little," I said. I walked over to the table and sat
down. I took a grilled cheese off a platter and poured
myself some milk.

April ignored me and began telling my mother how
she was going to memorize the thirteen original colonies
in the order they entered the Union.

"First, I picture a CorningWare dish, right? CorningWare, for Delaware. Get it? Inside that, I imagine a hunch
of chopped-up pencils, for Pennsylvania."

She went on and on. A girl named Carol in a bikini for
South Carolina. A ham for New Hampshire.

"Clever!" said my mother. "Isn't that clever, Isabelle?"

"Uh-huh," I said, swallowing a bite of grilled cheese.
"That's pretty good, April."

Ape Face looked up at me, suspicious. You could tell
she thought I was being sarcastic. When she saw I meant
it though, she looked really happy. "Thanks, Isabelle."

"You're welcome," I said, and I even smiled at her a
little. Because for the first time in a long time I was not
thinking, Everything stinks. Well, maybe everything did
still stink. But tomorrow could he an okay day.

AT LUNCH THE NEXT DAY I chickened out. I took
one look at Ashley and her friends and lost my nerve.

So I parked myself at one of the corner tables as
usual, with Georgie, Nola, and Paula. I was in the middle
of pulling my lunch out of its brown paper hag, a kidsize container of strawberry yogurt and two Fig Newtons,
when I heard Ashley's voice. "Hey, Isabelle."

I looked up and there she was, wearing a lavender shirt
with silver sparkles all over it, and her big white smile.
"Want to come sit at our table?"

"Um," I said. I felt my cheeks gather into a smile so big I had to duck my head to hide it. I didn't want to make
Nola and Georgie feel bad. I said to them, "You guys don't
mind, do you.' JUSt for today?"

Nola looked at me and shook her head the tiniest bit.
"Do what you want, Isabelle."

"It's a free country," Georgie nu►ttered, looking down
at her tray.

Paula said nothing. I knew the minute I walked away
she would talk about me, but at that moment I didn't care.
She was jealous and I was glad. Paula could say whatever
she wanted.

I busied myself with the complex task of putting my
yogurt and Fig Newtons back in their hag. When I said goodbye to Nola and Georgie I tried to act like it was no big deal,
me leaving them, but deep down I knew that it was.

The center table. Me.

When we got there Ashley swept her hand through
the air, introducing everyone, as if I didn't already know
all their names. "Isabelle, this is Maya, Arielle, Jessie,
Hannah, Heather, T►lia, Sasha, and Eliza. Everyone, this
is Isabelle."

A couple of girls said, "Hi, Isabelle." The rest just
stared at me.

"Hi," I said, sounding like a five-year-old.

Ashley pointed to an empty chair, so I sat down.
Heather on one side, Talia on the other. In the middle of
the table was a family-size bag of potato chips, one of pretzels, and a pile of Ding Dongs and Twinkies and individual
Twizzlers wrapped in cellophane.

"Have whatever, Isabelle," Ashley said, motioning to
the pile. "We take turns bringing snacks."

I sat quietly, eating my yogurt, one tiny lick at a time. I wanted so had to reach out for a Twinkie, and a handful of
chips, but I didn't let myself. I knew that once I started I
wouldn't he able to stop, and everyone would see me stuffing my face like a pig.

I noticed that Ashley wasn't eating much either. Every
few seconds she took a bite of the green apple on the table
in front of her, but that was it.

Everyone else dove right on in. There were hands
everywhere-hands in bags, hands ripping open cellophane, hands in mouths.

At one point, Ashley got up from the table to get a
drink from the water fountain. Talia turned to me. Her
long red hair, smoothed back in a green ribbon headband,
brushed against my wrist. "Promise you won't get mad if I
ask you a question?"

"Okay," I said.

"Are you new this year? I've never noticed you
before."

I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I mumbled, "I've
lived here my whole life."

"Oh," Talia said. "Sorry." She didn't sound one hit
sorry.

I kept on eating my yogurt, not saying anything while
everyone else talked. Ashley came back to the table and
sat down.

"Get a load of Big Bri," Heather Jellerette said, gesturing with a potato chip across the cafeteria. "Check out the
high-waters. Did he raid his father's closet or what? What
a dork."

We all turned to look. Over by the garbage can,
unwrapping an ice-cream sandwich, was Brian King. His plaid pants were a little short, and tight too. His stomach
rolled over the top of his belt.

"What a dweeb," said Talia.

"Dare me to go over there!" Heather said. "Tell him I
like his pants!"

Everyone at the table started laughing.

I looked over at Ashley. She didn't look like she
thought it was very funny, but she was laughing anyway, a
fake laugh. Heeheeheeheehee.

"Come on, Heather," Talia said. "I dare you."

"Go, girl," said Maya, taking a dollar bill out of her
pocket and laying it on the table. "Ice cream's on me if you
walk over there and say, `Hey, Brian, I've been watching
you across the caf, and I just wanted to tell you, you look
really, really good in those pants."'

Heather stood up, tossing her hair over her shoulder
and giggling. "Okay, you guys."

Everyone laughed and elbowed each other in the ribs.
I just watched. I couldn't believe they thought this was
funny. I couldn't believe even more that Ashley wasn't
doing anything about it. She's always so nice to Brian in
class, but when it comes to being nice to him in front of
her friends, she doesn't have the guts.

Within five seconds, Heather was by Brian's side at
the garbage can; her hand was on the hack of his neck,
and she was smiling. Heather leaned over and whispered
something in his ear. Brian's face said that he believed her.
He looked like a jack-o'-lantern, all lit up from inside.

"Oh, man," Heather said when she came hack to the
table, out of breath. "He totally bought it, you guys!" She
stopped and looked around at everyone, eyes resting on nee-the only one at the table not laughing. I can't make
myself laugh when I don't think something's funny.

I looked at Ashley, watched her fake laugh some more.
When Ashley saw me looking she looked away from my
eyes, then down at the table, then up again at the rest of
them.

"Man," Heather said, slapping her hand against the
table. "He said, `Th-th-thank you, Heather. I, I, I 1-like
your pants too.' What a riot!"

Heather grabbed the dollar bill lying on the top of the
table and held it up in the air. "Free ice cream for me."

Ashley looked at me again, then quickly looked away.

I looked at her and thought, Nice friends.

When I got home from school the house was quiet. Ape
Face was at ballet, which she has every Monday and
Wednesday. Most of the time my mother is sitting at the
kitchen table grading papers, waiting for me. Other times
she is in bed, at three thirty in the afternoon.

I found out by going upstairs and standing outside her
bedroom. "Mom?" 1 whispered. Then, louder, "Mom?"

She didn't say anything, so I cracked the door open.
The shades were drawn and she had the covers pulled up
over her head. "Mom," I said. "What are you doing'"

She stayed there in a lump, silent. At first I was scared,
but then I saw the covers moving up and down so I knew
she was breathing.

I took a step closer to the bed. "Mom. Are you sick'"

When she spoke she sounded far away, like she was at the bottom of a well. "I'm fine, Isabelle. Just a little tired,
that's all."

I wanted to pull the covers off her. I wanted to say,
Why are you so tired? Huh? But I knew she wouldn't tell
me the truth. Not in a million years would she say it: she
can't sleep at night because she can't stop missing him.