Pepped Up and Ready (Pepper Jones #3) (18 page)

But through my concern for him, my fear for my own safety and health, and the pounding on my brain, I suddenly realize I’m supposed to be at the recruitment breakfast.

“What time is it?” I ask, alarmed.

“Ten AM, but don’t worry, Lexi and Sienna have it taken care of.”

His words do not reassure me. I jump out of bed, and stumble around looking for my shoes. “This is so bad. So, so bad,” I repeat over and over. I’ll never get a scholarship now.

“Pep, Sienna and Lexi told the coaches that you got sick and had to go home. They got you out of Alberto’s so fast they didn’t think others really noticed who was being carried out.”

I hadn’t even thought of that. “Are you kidding? Jace, I’m sure everyone saw. I collapsed in the middle of a crowded bar.” And as I say it, I remember Savannah looking at me right before it all went black. If she saw, everyone knows. This really couldn’t be any worse.

Well, it could be a lot worse, actually. I shudder at that thought. Who did this to me? Why?

“I should just go to the coaches and explain what happened. I mean, it wasn’t my fault.”

Jace watches me as I slip my shoes on. “That’s your decision, Pep, but you might want to talk to Sienna and Lexi first.”

“Why?”

“They were really scared how the coaches would react. They think the coaches will flip, Pepper. Not at you,” he says patiently, noting my stricken look, “at the team, for letting this happen. You’re the most important high school recruit in the country.”

“No. I’m not.” I can’t even run right now. How can he say that?

“You are,” Jace says fiercely. “And the coaches will have to report the incident, do an investigation. Word will get around the NCAA that this happened, and it will be real bad for the team. Just think about it before you tell the coaches. I know you, and I know you won’t want people scrutinizing you over this.”

He’s right. If there’s an investigation, it could be bad for the UC cross team, and I definitely don’t want that. But aside from Sienna and Lexi, Clayton and Ryan were there too. And Frankie. Not to mention Savannah’s intimidating stare before I conked burns in my memory. Everyone might find out about this anyway.

The official visit is over, then. Most of the girls fly out after breakfast and a campus tour, which is probably happening as we speak. I can’t know if I’ve ruined any chances at a scholarship offer by failing to show up this morning. I’m already a risk to them with my injury, and bailing on an official visit can’t be looked at lightly, even with an excuse.

And as far as what happened to me last night? “What do we do now?” I ask Jace.

Judging by the look on his face, he’s determined to find out who did this. “For now, we wait.”

I’m going to need a lot of patience.

After Jace drops me off at home, I send an email to the UC coaches and spend the rest of the day doing homework. Several projects are due in my classes this week, and, while they require most of my attention, the reality of what happened to me is fresh in my mind. It’s a darkness that hovers, threatening and taunting me with the possibilities of what it means, and how much worse the night could have gone.

I’ve turned off my phone in order to help concentrate on my school work, so when Wes arrives to pick me up for dinner, I’m taken by surprise. I completely forgot we were meeting Annie and Jace at Lou’s tonight. We made the plans days ago.

The restaurant is packed, as it usually is, when we arrive. Annie and Jace are already there, hanging outside while they wait for a table. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen Annie, and I’m taken by her put-together appearance. She’s wearing a simple outfit – dark jeans, cotton tee shirt, and a stylish leather jacket. She holds herself confidently, like she’s finally figured out who she is. Like she’s comfortable with it. A librarian, a mom, and a recovering drug addict.

And Jace’s eager expression as we approach tells me he’s proud to call her his mother. A lot of sons would be too ashamed of a past like Annie’s to bring her around friends, but Jace doesn’t dwell on her past. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that he’s made mistakes too. Jace and his mom aren’t letting what they’ve done in the past define them any longer, and I think they rely on strength from each other to do that.

We’ve only had a chance to say a quick hello when we’re interrupted by Kayla Chambers.

“Hi guys,” she says nervously. “I’ve got a table for you.”

“The hostess said it would be another twenty minutes,” Jace says.

Kayla is wearing a black tee shirt with the name of the restaurant displayed in red, and a small server apron is tied around her hips. She shrugs. “You got bumped up. Come on in.” She gestures for us to follow and we do.

“You still work here?” I ask, after we’re all seated.

“I just fill in when they need me. One of the waiters was sick and they called me in.”

She stands there awkwardly for a moment, and I wonder if she’s our server. The place is swarming with people, so she probably doesn’t have time to stay and chat. I catch her eyeing Annie curiously before she rubs her hands together and lets out a deep sigh.

“Listen.” She clears her throat. “I’ve been wanting to apologize for how I acted at the Theta Kapp party a few weeks ago.”

Jace and I glance at each other before looking back at Kayla.

“This probably isn’t the best time,” she notes, gesturing to Annie and Wes, “but I want you two to know that I still have your backs. I’m here for you.”

Though she looks earnest, I’m not sure I trust her. It sure seems like she only wants to use her connection to Jace to further her own social agenda, and I don’t like it.

“Okay, thanks for the apology, I guess,” Jace says dismissively. He doesn’t trust her either.

She’s going to have to use more than words to show that she’s a true friend. When Kayla turns to return to her tables, Annie asks, “What was that all about?”

I expect Jace to shrug it off, like he tends to do with questions he doesn’t feel like answering, but he surprises me. “Kayla was a friend of ours at Brockton Public and she goes to UC now. She was bitchy at a party the other night.”

“It didn’t sound like you accepted her apology,” Annie comments.

“I don’t,” Jace agrees. “She’s pledging with a sorority and wanted to flaunt her friendship with me in order to gain their approval. When I didn’t take her bait to schmooze with the sorority girls, she pretty much said I’m no fun anymore since I’ve been with Pepper. That’s not an insult I’ll forget anytime soon.”

“What do you think, Pepper?” Annie asks me.

“About Jace being no fun?” I ask, unsure what she’s looking for.

“About Kayla.”

“It’d be nice to have more allies, like she says she is, but I’m afraid her true colors came out when she took that dig at me. And Jace. But I think it was mostly at me.”

“It was at both of us,” Jace clarifies, squeezing on my thigh in reassurance.

“Yeah,” Wes chimes in. “Sorority girls always have an agenda. Kayla wasn’t the lead girl at Brockton Public because she’s soft and sweet. The girl’s a user.” He glances at Annie before adding, “Not with drugs, though maybe that too, but I mean a social user. All social-climbers need ladders.”

“That’s deep, man,” Jace says, patting Wes on the back with a chuckle. We’re interrupted by our waiter, who takes our drink orders. The mood at the table shifts to a more jovial one after that, and it’s a good feeling, like all four of us are family. It’s still a little weird, not totally natural like it is with just me, Wes and Jace, or with Gran or Jim, but we’re getting there with Annie. It’s something none of us could have imagined a year ago.

And for that, I’m grateful. Someone is out to mess with me, I was drugged last night, and I can’t run right now, but I’ve got a pretty awesome family. An unconventional one, to be sure, but I’ll take it.

When the University of Oregon offers me a full athletic scholarship two weeks later, the reality of the situation really hits home. If UC doesn’t make the same offer, I will have to make a decision. Until Saturday night, my decision would still have been UC, even if they made no offer. But things have changed. I’m sitting on the bus on the way back from a cross country meet that I didn’t race. We’re an hour away from Brockton, but I’m still haunted.

I don’t look forward to my morning workouts at the UC gym anymore. It’s usually still dark out when I arrive, and I find myself looking over my shoulder the whole time, wondering when my attacker will show themselves. Because that’s what happened. Someone attacked me. And I still have no answers. My mind has been reeling with possibilities about who did this and why. When you hear about the kind of drugging that happened to me, it’s associated with date rape. Is that what someone intended? My gut tells me no. This wasn’t a stranger targeting a high schooler at a college party. This was more intentional than that.

It was most likely done to hurt Jace somehow. As much as I want to say my love for Jace can withstand anything, sometimes I wonder if that’s true. Because I’m afraid all the time now. I ride my bike around town like I’m being chased. It feels like I have a target on my back. I simply can’t live like this forever.

Zoe is sitting beside me on the bus, and I know she’s concerned. I’ve told her what happened, and Jace has told Wes. But that’s it. Gran doesn’t know. She’d call the police for sure. Gran and everyone else believe I’m acting withdrawn because I miss running. And they’re not entirely wrong about that. I want to run more than anything.

Patience.

It’s a word I chant to myself a lot these days.

Zoe and Wes drag me to Jace’s football game that night. I should be happy to support my boyfriend and cheer him on, but going on campus makes me uneasy. Fear has taken root in me, and with it, anger. I’m angry that I’m fearful. If I knew who was after me, I’d face them head on. But I don’t. And that gives him an advantage.

Jace has to talk to the press after the game, so the three of us hit up a burger joint while we wait for him to shower. The team no longer pressures Jace to go out with them, as everyone is taking it easy until the end of the season. The playoffs start soon, and UC has a chance to make it to the championship for the first time in years.

“So, what’s going on with you two?” I ask Wes and Zoe before taking a huge bite of my burger. It’s been three weeks since they first hooked up, and it’s time to put Wes on the spot. Besides, I want to take my mind off my own problems.

But Wes doesn’t take the bait. “What do you think?” he asks playfully, with his eyebrows waggling suggestively.

Zoe smiles, but she can’t hide her disappointment from me. “Can we talk about what happened now?” Zoe turns the tables around, clearly unhappy with my attempt to interrogate them.

“What happened?” I choke out. I know exactly what she’s talking about, but I really don’t want to go there. I told her only the bare bones of that night, and neither of us have mentioned it since. I don’t know what Jace told Wes, but no one has brought it up.

“We can’t ignore it,” Zoe says urgently. “This is serious, Pepper. We have to find out who it was who did that.”

“It could have been anyone,” I murmur, placing my burger aside. I’ve lost my appetite. “It could have been a mistake, for all we know.” I look her in the eye. “It might have been meant for someone else.”

Zoe narrows her eyes and Wes clears his throat. “Don’t lie to yourself, Pepper,” Wes says softly. “Let’s go over who could have done this. Ryan and Dennison were there, right?”

“Yeah, but they both helped me,” I point out.

Zoe isn’t convinced. “They might not have expected anything to happen so fast. Maybe they meant to get you alone before it set in.”

“You sound like a cop’s daughter,” I say angrily. Zoe’s father is a Brockton cop and it’s not something I’ll be forgetting any time soon. But this is my life. Not some mystery for her to solve.

“Pepper.” Wes’s voice is serious now, and he places a hand on mine. It’s shaking, and I didn’t even realize. “We need to figure out who did this.”

My head shoots up. “You don’t think I haven’t spent every minute going over the possibilities?” I grit out. “We can’t know anything for certain, okay? Not until he makes his next move.” The last sentence is said quietly, and eerie silence takes ahold of us. They know I’m right. There’s nothing we can do. Jace has gone back to the flower shop, telling them this is a potential stalking situation, but they claim they no longer have the records. Without a search warrant, we can’t force a flower shop to do a thing. Jace doesn’t talk to me about it, but I know he’s interrogated everyone who was with me that night at Alberto’s. Probably the bartender too.

The weight of everything begins to suffocate me. My life is slipping from my grasp. My goals for this season have gone out the window. The guaranteed scholarship I thought I had to UC disappeared with them. And Jace? If living with a target on my back is what it takes to be with him, I don’t know if I can survive like that. But living without him at my side makes my whole body ache in acute sadness just thinking about it.

“I gotta get out of here,” I mumble as my breathing becomes erratic. It feels like I’m suffocating. Drowning. I push back my chair, and rush out of the restaurant, barely registering Zoe and Wes’s stricken expressions. With no way of getting home beside my own two legs, my body begins to move in the only way it knows how when I’m losing my mind like this. I run.

My legs have a life of their own as they carry me with a vengeance for several blocks, until it registers where I am and what I’m wearing. Converse sneakers and jeans. It’s not very comfortable running attire. But my shins don’t hurt one bit, and that is a small comfort as I crumple onto a park bench. What the hell am I going to do?

The sound of footsteps makes me whip my head up, the familiar fear surfacing. But it’s not my attacker. Jace Wilder’s green eyes are burning, but his features soften as he crouches in front of me. His hair is wet from a shower and his cheeks are still flushed from the game.

“You’re killing me, Pepper Jones,” he says in a near-whisper.

All the feelings swarming inside of me, making me feel crazy, are reflected back at me through Jace. He wants to take it away from me and he can’t. That’s hurting him more than anything.

“Tell me what to do to make this better,” he pleads.

But I’m as lost as he is. I need the x-rays to show my fractures are healed. I need UC to offer me a full scholarship. Whoever is after me needs to reveal themselves. But even then, will this fear go away? Will there always be someone after me if I stay with Jace?

Finally, I decide that he is enough for now. For this moment. “Just hold me,” I say simply.

He scoops me up and I curl into his lap, breathing in his familiar post-game scent. The body wash that smells like pine mixed with the clean laundry scent emanating from his hoodie.

“I got an offer for a full scholarship to Oregon this morning,” I mumble into his chest. Maybe if my voice is muffled, the blow won’t hit so hard.

But he’s heard me loud and clear. His body stiffens.

“What?” he says through gritted teeth.

I’m not going to repeat it. “I still haven’t heard from UC,” I add.

“The coaches never emailed you back?” He’s referring to the email I sent the day after the incident, explaining why I ditched the last day of the official visit. I told them it was a stomach virus.

“No, they responded to that. That wasn’t a big deal.” At least, the email the assistant coach sent me made it
sound
like it wasn’t a big deal that I left the visit early.

“Have they made other offers?” he asks, his body still rigid.

“I don’t know,” I admit. If Ryan and I still spoke, he might be able to give me the inside scoop. But scholarship offers can be complicated decisions, and the athletes on the team are rarely involved in the process.

Jace stands up, keeping me close to his chest. “Just so you know, I’ll probably transfer to Oregon if you go there,” he says light-heartedly, and I can’t tell if he’s teasing or serious. Would he really follow me there? Would I want that? Of course I would. Maybe it would be different there. Maybe he wouldn’t be such a celebrity.

His Jeep is parked nearby. He must have seen me running like a crazy person and pulled over. “Pepper?” he asks, the seriousness returning again when we’re both buckled in.

“Yeah?” I turn to face him.

“It’s all going to be okay.” He’s looking into me, trying to make it right with his words.

“Yeah,” I breathe out, “it will be.”

Jace hasn’t shown me any cracks in his confidence, but my own is beginning to shatter. I’m trying to hold onto him through this, hoping he can have enough for the both of us. He is Jace Wilder after all.

***

I’m gripping Jace’s hand with all my newfound upper body strength as we wait for the doctor. It’s been five weeks since I last saw Dr. Kennedy in this office, and today I’ll find out if the hope I’ve been grasping onto was in vain or not. If my shins are healing, she might give me the green light to start running again in a week, which means there’s still a shot – a long one – at going back to Nationals. Any more than one week of rest, and I’ll miss the qualifying meets, not to mention that there simply won’t be enough time to get in shape.

Okay, so I’m definitely in shape. With all the weight lifting, core exercises, and pool running I’ve been doing, my all-around fitness level is amazing. I have muscles I’ve never had before. But running can’t be duplicated in water or on machines. And no matter what I hear today, getting my running legs where they need to be in order to qualify, and then have a chance to actually win – well, some might say I’m crazy to even try.

Not Jace. Sure, he doesn’t know running like I do, but his faith in me has been unwavering. When I admitted my wariness about training on campus by myself, he found ways to come with me to work out or have a friend join me. As I opened up to Jace about how seriously the recruit visit incident affected me, I realized it made me feel better. It was like I gave Jace some of my fear and hurt by telling him.

He encouraged me to talk to Zoe about it too, and she’s sacrificed some of her late night sneak-outs to go to bed early so she can lift weights with me before classes. It helps having company. The constant fear has lessened, but I still wonder when someone’s going to pop out from the bushes (literally and figuratively) to get me.

“Well, Pepper, I have some very good news.” Dr. Kennedy is grinning when she opens the door. It’s all I can do not to jump up and hug her from that statement, even though she hasn’t even relayed the news yet. “Your shins have healed beautifully.”

“Really?!” I squeak.

Jace has shifted to the edge of his seat with me. Dr. Kennedy glances between us in amusement. “Hi, you must be Mr. Wilder,” Dr. Kennedy introduces herself before delving into an explanation of the x-rays.

When she tells me that I don’t even have to wait another week, that I can start running tomorrow, I actually do get up and hug her. She laughs, taken aback.

“It’s all your doing, Pepper,” she tells me. “A lot of athletes don’t listen. They don’t rest properly and they end up fighting the same injury for months or years until it becomes a constant reoccurring issue. But yours look great.”

I beam, openly pleased that my patience in this particular aspect of my life has paid off.

“But don’t get carried away,” she warns sternly. “You will be starting out very
slowly
here. I’ll be emailing Coach Tom and your trainer my recommendations. It will start out with hardly any running and gradually build up.”

“But what about Nationals?” I ask, my happiness dimming. We’ve discussed the qualifying process and the urgency of my recovery.

“You’ll be able to go to the State meet, but you’ll just have to be comfortable without doing anything too rigorous before the competition,” she says like it’s obvious.