Past Heaven (39 page)

Please God, do not let her be wearing that red bikini.

I could tell I was approaching the house when I saw Hayden pop up from behind a giant sandcastle and run toward me. I threw the Jeep into park, climbed out, and grabbed him. He was covered with sand, tan, and adorable.

“Buddy, I’ve missed you.” I ruffled the top of his head and put him down. I waved to Tim who sat on the beach, watching Griffin and Grayson swim.

“Reyn. You’re here. Come see our awesome house.”

I grabbed my duffel bag and followed my playful friend to the large, grey beach home. The house was just as Liz had described. Rustic, but well taken care of. Liz saw us walking up the steps and ran to the door. She looked breathtaking, standing there with her hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun. She wore a long, coral maxi dress that showed off her ample chest and small waist. She was tan and smelled like coconut. Jumping into my arms for a hug, she kissed my cheek.

“You made it!” she exclaimed. I picked her and Hayden up in my arms and swung them around. She whispered, “I missed you, love.”

I had missed her so much. I was like a teenager again, full of hormones, and nervous to touch the hot cheerleader. I put Hayden down and slid Liz down my body. She felt my dick press on her belly. Her eyes widened and a flush crept up her neck.
Fuck me
. How was I supposed to keep my hands off her?

Liz grabbed my hand and led me into the kitchen. “Maybe this will cool you down, sailor,” she teased as she handed Hayden and me lemonades. I sipped the sweet drink and looked around the house. Gray, white, and blue furniture with nautical decorations made up the style found in shore rental homes. The main floor was spacious and had full views of the Atlantic Ocean. I could see why they were enjoying their vacation so much. After Hayden finished his drink, they showed me to my room. If Hayden hadn’t been with me, I would have pressed her against the door, kissed her like I wanted, and been inside that dress in thirty seconds. I needed an ice cold shower, not just a chilled lemonade.

“Get dressed and meet us on the beach,” Liz said as she ushered Hayden out and into the hallway. As she pulled my door shut, she turned away from the hallway and winked at me while pulling down just a bit of her dress and revealing her cleavage and obviously braless state. “See anything that
interests
you?” She burst out laughing as I glared at her while craning my neck to see further down her dress. She bit her lip seductively, and my mouth hung open in amazement. She smiled her temptress smile and shut the door with a giggle. I lay back on my bed and groaned. She was too damn much.

I unpacked my bag and changed into swim trunks before walking down to meet them on the beach. Liz had an umbrella up, chairs out, and a cooler filled with water and sodas. Grayson and Griffin were throwing a football around, and I joined them. Grayson tried to tackle me, and I threw him over my shoulder and charged into the water. Griffin and Hayden soon joined while Liz watched us from the shoreline.

I got out and left the boys to boogie board and play in the surf. Liz watched me approach her and brought her hand to her neck. She threw me a towel and slipped out of her sundress. She was wearing a strapless black one-piece swimsuit.
Hell
. I thought one pieces were supposed to be boring. She looked like a 1950’s screen star with her curvy figure. I sat on a blanket, watching her intently, as she moved behind me. Her breath was warm against my ear. “Are you wearing sunblock?”

My voice was raspy as I answered her. “No, can you put some on my back?”

“My pleasure,” she replied as she rubbed the coconut-scented lotion on me. I thought I might lose it right there.
Christ
almighty
, I was panting like I’d never been around a woman before. “I watched you come out of the water, and it may have been the hottest thing I have ever seen. Do you know how much I want you?” she whispered.

Well shit, now I was as hard as a rock. “I want you so much right now, too, but you have to stop. We can’t do that this weekend, and it’s freaking killing me.”

“I know.” She laid next to me on the blanket belly down and turned her face to the side. “Can you reapply the lotion to my back and shoulders? I’m tired of waiting, you know? I want to be with you in every way. I hate being secretive.” I straddled her legs, my dick right over her ass, and rubbed lotion on her back in slow strokes. She sighed, wiggling her rear at me, and I leaned down to her ear.

“Seriously, Elizabeth. I’m barely holding on right now. If we were on this beach alone, you’d be ravaged.”

She sighed and closed her eyes. I moved next to her again and watched the boys swim. Looking down, I saw her watching me. She mouthed
I love you,
and I took a deep breath. Loving her was the easiest thing I had ever done. Denying ourselves this relationship was the hardest.

I love you, too
, I mouthed back.

I WAS FRESHLY showered and in a short, white, strapless sundress. I braided my hair down the side of my head, embracing the beach style that was my new favorite, and began working on a summer dinner for Reynolds and the boys. As I cooked, I thought about how much I’d evolved since losing Jack. I’d been beaten. I’d seen life differently, and now I could let go of preconceived notions of how I should act. I’d learned to be myself, my true self. I didn’t need to be timid or reserved, unless I wanted to be. I could be whoever or whatever I wanted. Reynolds was a huge reason for that. He made me feel like every part of me was right. He accepted me flaws, faults, and all.

While the grill heated, I joined Reynolds on the deck and handed him a vodka tonic with fresh-squeezed lime. He toasted me, and we sat in the big deck chairs. The boys were showering and dressing for dinner while Tim was catching up with
SportsCenter.
Reynolds slipped on his Ray-Bans and a cover model might as well have been sitting next to me.

His hair was wind-blown and wild. I wanted to run my fingers through it and kiss him. I gave it some serious thought as I scanned the beach. Homes stood on either side of us, but they were a decent distance apart. I was glad I had chosen this place because it felt private.

Reynolds checked to make sure we were alone and kissed my hand. “Thank you for the drink. This place is great.” The sun was setting, and we sipped our drinks in comfortable silence.

“Oh, Reyn, look,” I whispered and pointed to the wild horses galloping down the beach. We had been lucky enough to see them a few times at our home in the evening or early morning. Corolla was known for their wild horses which was one of the reasons I had chosen the town as our vacation spot.

“Look at that, they’re wild and free.” Reynolds stood up and leaned over the deck to watch his favorite creatures in their natural habitat. “That settles it. I’m buying us a house here. Let’s spend all next summer here. Deal?” Reynolds grinned down at me and drank his vodka.

“You probably want to hold off on any real estate purchases there, handsome.” I was teasing him, but I was also serious. We weren’t publicly dating, and yet he wanted to buy a multi-million dollar beach home because we liked to vacation here?

“What do you mean?” Reynolds questioned and pulled me to face him.

“We haven’t even had a chance to formally start our relationship.” I played with the buttons on his linen shirt. “What if you get tired of me? What if my wrinkles get worse?” I tried to play off my concerns with a joke, but I couldn’t pull it off. I whispered, “What if we don’t work?” My stomach clenched as I spoke.

Reynolds ran his fingers down my cheek and across my collarbone. I drew in a shaky breath, my skin feverish from his touch. “Haven’t I been clear about how I feel about you? This is already a relationship. Just because no one else knows, doesn’t mean it’s not real. It’s a secret, but we’re together. I’m not going to get tired of you. I’ll never leave you. You are stuck with me forever, unless you change
your
mind.”

I placed his hand over my heart. “You’re in my heart, Reyn. That’ll never fade. My heart was broken, and you healed it. You fixed me. I want to live my life with you next to me.”

He nodded and leaned his forehead against mine. “I’m kissing you in my mind, Elizabeth.”

Smiling, I pulled away as the trampling of little feet sounded on the deck.

After dinner, Reynolds and I cleaned the dishes and played board games with the kids. Tim had settled in his room, and the boys were exhausted from the activity and sun, so they had headed to bed soon afterward. Reynolds and I lay side by side on chaise loungers on the deck, watching the ocean. The only light came from the moon. I played with Reynolds’ fingers, touching as much as I could from the safety of our separate chairs.

“Are they having a good time here?” Reynolds threaded his fingers through mine and watched me unwind.

I smiled. “They love the beach. They run and swim all day. Of course that means they eat their weight in groceries. I’ve been cooking non-stop.”

“Um, they destroyed that mahi-mahi tonight. It was fantastic, by the way.”

I kissed his palm and then turned his hand over to kiss each knuckle. His eyes closed, and he laid his head back with a small moan.

“Reyn, do you want children?” I whispered, nervous to ask the question and hear his answer, but it was important. We had become serious quickly. This issue needed to be discussed now.

He sat right up and held both of my hands. I loved how he always showed me he was giving me his full attention when I asked him a serious question.

“To be completely honest, I never wanted kids before I met you. I was too wrapped up in my career. But, spending time with your kids has made me see how much I want them in my life. Why? Do you want more children?” Reynolds rubbed his thumbs along my knuckles.

“I told you before that I got my tubes tied after Hayden. I always worried that I could have a child with disabilities, like David. While he’s a blessing, he’s also shown me how many extra challenges exist when raising a special needs child. So when we had three healthy kids, I didn’t want to push my luck.” My eyes searched his, wondering if I had disappointed him. “After the age of forty, the risk of having children with health and developmental issues significantly increases. I grew up with a sibling with these issues, and I thought that three healthy children was more than enough of a gift.”

Reynolds nodded and kissed my hands this time. “I was adopted, and if I’m lucky enough to join your family, I’ll treat those boys with the same love I was shown by my parents. I know firsthand that you don’t have to birth a child to be a parent or to love with all your heart and soul.” Reynolds barely finished before I threw myself into his lap. He chuckled as he stroked my hair.

“I thought that might be a deal breaker, when you found out that I was too old for you.” I buried my face in his neck.

He kissed the top of my head. “You’ll never be too old for me. I want us to spend the rest of our years together. I want to be a real member of this family. You’ve given me all I have ever dreamed of just by loving me.” Reynolds kissed my forehead, his lips lingering until I pulled back.

“You say the sweetest words to me.” I brushed my lips against his. “Do you have any concerns about us? I want to be here for you, too.”

Reynolds sighed and leaned his head back against the chaise lounge. “Of course, I have concerns. For a while, I worried that Griffin wouldn’t accept me, but over the past few months, I’ve let that go. He and I will be fine.”

“I agree. You mean a lot to him.” I squeezed his hand in support and waited for him to continue. Reynolds rarely complained to me about anything, but if we were going to build a life together, I needed to know that he would open up to me when he needed to.

“So my greatest worry now is if I can be enough for all of you. Making this movie about Jack has been the best decision of my life—it brought you to me. But, it’s also given me a chance to fully understand how incomparable Jack was. I know I’ll never be as good as he was, and I know you can’t love me as much. I worry that one day that will hit you, and you won’t want to spend the rest of your life with second best.”