Pantomime (29 page)

  I looked at it again.

  "They called it a Kedi. It's still worshipped in some backwaters of Byssia. This creature was their god and considered perfect. To its worshippers, a man is incomplete and a woman is incomplete. Whether or not they were crossed with some other creature, they were not whole. But this being was not. It did not need another man or another woman. It was complete within itself.

  "Men and woman would try to be like this god, see, by coming together. Only when a man and a woman mated–" Calum giggled, his hand covering his face. "Shush up, Calum. As I was saying, when a man and a woman mated, then they were like the Kedi. They are complete and they are one.

  "I suppose the Couple is a bit like that idea. You can't have the Sun Lord without the Lady of the Moon, and they form a complete whole. Two differing sides of the same coin."

  "Are you a philosopher, Mister Illari?"

  He snorted "Hardly. I've just seen a lot of different places and a lot of different things. You start to notice how similar they are, after a time."

  "So if there was a creature like this Kedi, would it be content to be alone all its life? Were there other Kedi for it, or just the one?" I asked.

  Calum piped in. "It seems to me like it'd have the best of both – it could rut itself!"

  "Calum," Mister Illari warned. "Don't be crude. I don't know, Micah. I think there were only one or two. Doesn't matter much, eh? It's only stories."

  "Yes," I said, my fingers gripping the stone figure tightly. "Only stories."

 
 

  To hear a tale of love richer than gold.

  Between a young princess virtuous and fair,

  And a kind prince who saves her from her lair.

 

  A king's wicked greed: the young lovers' doom.
 

  The Lord and Lady's grace spares them from gloom.
 

  Rejoined at last, they swear never to part.
 

LEANDER & IONA, Godric Ash-Oak

 

"No, you're absolutely terrible!" Bil cried.

  Aenea scowled at him and planted her hands on her hips. "I told you I was no good at play acting, Bil Ragona! You refused to believe me."

  "You're all performers! How is it that every comely, bendy young woman I have reads lines like a stiff wooden board?" he grasped two handfuls of his hair, trying for comical dismay, but true frustration was under his own performance.

  I was sitting next to the other contortionists and acrobats in the stands.

  "Your girl Aenea was better than I was, Micah, though not by much," Dot, the youngest contortionist now that Mara was gone, said cheerfully.

  The pantomime planned for Imachara was a retelling of the classic romance
Leander & Iona,
one of those stories where the young man and woman must overcome the obstacles blocking their love.

  "How does the story go again?" Dot asked.

  "You'll be sick to death of it by the end of the season, but the short of it is that Leander, the foreign princely hero and narrator, must rescue Iona, who has been locked in a Penglass tower by her cruel father, King Zimri, and is guarded by a minotaur. The Fool, the king's most trusted servant, attacks Leander along the way in the form of various beasts and monsters. So there'll be magic and fighting and changing scenes and danger. But, of course, love will win the war." I held up an arm in triumph, though
Leander & Iona
was not my favorite of Godric Ash-Oak's plays. The princess was passive for much of the play, waiting to be rescued by her prince.

  "Romantic, isn't it?" Dot asked.

  "Mm-hmm," I said, leaning back in the bleachers.

  The entire circus had been forced to sit and watch the auditions for the various parts. Bil had been planning to put on a pantomime in Imachara, but he did not want to waste money on actual trained actors, and so he was determined to find the brilliant actors hiding within his midst.

  The problem was that most of the circus had never acted, except to smile and bow at a crowd, and nearly everyone was wretched at it.

  Drystan had been chosen as Leander, Fedir the yellow clown as the king, and Jive as the Fool. Tauro would, naturally, be the Minotaur to guard the princess. More circus folk were willing to be monsters, which required no speaking but for an occasional grunt or roar.

  "Maybe if you practice until we reach Imachara?" Bil wheedled Aenea.

  "No!" Aenea stomped her foot. "I perform well on the trapeze and tightrope and nowhere else. I'm sure there's someone who could do better." She strode off to the stands and slumped next to me, crossing her arms across her chest.

  "Fine, but you'll play the Lady of the Moon in the finale," he called after her.

  "What? I will not!"

  "She doesn't have any bloody lines! You just have to wear a gown and look pretty. You'll manage that well enough."

  She rolled her eyes. "Fine, as long as I don't have to speak."

  "So who's our leading lady, then?" Rian asked.

  "Frit?" Bil asked, helpless and more desperate.

  "I'm too old to play a leading lady in a romance," she said.

  Bil clenched his jaw, the tendons in his cheeks jutting. "I do not understand. This is a circus, full of creative and talented minds. You lot were decent," he pointed to the clowns. "Why don't one of you play the female lead? Iano?"

  Iano guffawed. "I am not playing a woman. Not if you threatened to cut off my balls and give them to Violet for a meal!" Behind Iano, Jive looked at me and smirked, and I knew he was remembering my screams after the itching powder incident. I glowered at him and he raised his eyebrows, as if perplexed by my annoyance.

  "More like a small snack," Rian said loudly.

  Iano responded with a rude hand gesture, Rian made an even ruder one, and they began to tussle in a blue and green blur. The other clowns and several of the performers and workers called out encouragements or began to take bets on who would win.

  "Halt!" Bil roared. They climbed off each other, brushing sand from their costumes.

  I was biting my lip in the stands. Growing up, acting had been a favorite pastime. Mother had encouraged it, upon seeing how much I enjoyed playing "dressing up" with Anna, Cyril, and George. I never let Mother see when I played male parts. I would not say I was talented, but I did enjoy it, and I would probably be better at a female role, given that I had several years' experience pretending to be one.

  Bil had not asked me to read lines. The male parts had all been filled by the clowns and Bil stopped asking the rest of us from reciting the same dull passage.

  I wanted to open my mouth and say the words that would bring all eyes on me again. I was confident I had a place on the stage. But too many eyes meant too many chances to see something not quite right. My gaze flicked to Frit before I hunched my shoulders and looked at the sand-encrusted floor of our temporary circus.

  "Those of you who have not read lines, queue up, then," Bil said, sighing. "We're finding our heroine tonight if it is the last thing I do. No breaks, no food, and no ale until this is sorted."

  While everybody moaned, I fought to keep a smile from my face. The choice had been taken from me. It would not be up to me. It was up to the ringmaster.

  Bil clasped his hands together. "Next!"

  Tauro stepped forward and looked at Bil balefully. He opened his mouth.

  "Argh, Tauro, you're all right – you know full well you already have a part. Sit down," Bil said.

  "What, you're not going to let him try out for the heroine?" Jive snickered.

  "Do not test my patience today, Jive. You will not like the result. Tauro, sit."

  Tauro shuffled to the stands. He looked a little disappointed.

  A Kymri tumbler was next. He was one of the twin brothers. Zahn?

 

  "
Oh, moon and stars, lord and lady on high –

  
Shine your light on a…wretch whose end is
…neigh? Nigh?"

 

  We all winced. Though Zahn had made headway in learning our tongue, it was clear he did not know the meaning of half of the lines, and his accent was thick. The audience would never understand him, and he was too handsome and muscular. Bil ushered him to the stands as well.

  I was next.

  "You'd make a decent woman, Micah," Bil said, a little hopefully, eyeing me up and down. "Do you need the lines said aloud to you?" he asked wearily.

  "No, Bil, I think I have them memorized by now." Bil nodded and waved at me to begin.

  I slid into the role. It was a dismal scene of the play, at a point where all seemed lost. The Fool turns into a human and tells Leander that Iona has married another at her father's behest, and he believes the falsehood. Iona was heartbroken, certain that her life was over. She contemplates suicide.

  I sat down on the floor and gathered imaginary skirts about myself and looked up, as if out of a window at the top of my cell. I wiped an imaginary tear from my cheek.

 

  "
Oh, moon and stars, lord and lady on high –
 

  Shine your light on a wretch whose end is nigh.
 

  Leander, my love, is in danger so true.
 

  My cheek's petals are now heavy with dew
."

 

  I looked down at my clasped hands.

 

  "
Please, moon and stars, lord and lady, free me
 

  From this life full of lonesome agony
 

  If no more my lips will his fingers trace

  
I'll trade him for sable death's sweet embrace
."

 

  The play was not particularly delicate or subtle, but it evoked the emotions needed from the audience. There were a few half-hearted claps from the stands. Bil's eyebrows snaked up his forehead.

  "He's not bad, let's have him as the woman and open some ale!" Rian called. A bruise bloomed on his cheekbone.

  "Try the second set of lines, Micah, where Iona first meets and falls in love with Leander," Bil said. He read the lines from the page before him, furrowing his brows and stumbling over the meter.

  I stood up, dusting my trousers. "Can I see the paper?"

  He passed it to me and I scanned the lines a few times.

  "Doesn't surprise me much that you can read," Bil said, digging. I ignored him.

  "Oh yeah – Drystan, your lines are first," Bil said before I began.

  Drystan came from the stands and was given his own lines to read. Unlike me, he did not hide who he had been outright, though he had neglected to tell them he was one small step removed from royalty. He stepped forward, clasped my calloused hands and gazed into my eyes, his face relaxing into an adoring smile. It was an effort not to look away in embarrassment.

 

  "
Never have I seen a lady so fair,
 

  How I long to touch your long, flaxen hair
 

  A mere man like me – I'm in awe of you.
 

 

  "
How is it that I dare to speak to thee?
  Some spirit of love has o'er taken me
  Oh, strike me, stone me, good Lady and Lord
  I am too base to call her my adored
."

 

  Drystan must have taken theatre training as a child or at university. He embraced the clunky lines, making them seem like natural speech, earnest and sincere. When mentioning my flaxen hair, he had nearly stroked my head, but his fingers had danced away at the last second, as if he did not dare. He drew me closer, pressing me against his chest. I felt a stir a little too similar to how I felt when I had been alone with Aenea. It was easy to act bashful, to gaze down at the floor and turn my face away from his.

 

  "
Oh sir, you waste the coin of your rich words
 

  My face is not fair, though I come from lords
 

  My looks and my fortune are plain indeed
 

  I confess I know not how to proceed
–

 

  "
I fear that my speech is modest as well
 

  When compared to the words of your love's spell
 

  So I must speak plainly when I tell you
 

  That I, kind sir, do dare to love you too."

 

  
Characters seem to fall in love so easily in plays. Drystan put a finger under my chin and lifted my face toward his and met his lips with mine. I tried very hard not to choke or break away. I also found myself wanting to deepen the kiss, which unleashed an avalanche of guilt. My palms dampened, and my limbs tingled. Drystan broke the kiss and stepped away from me, and his sardonic grin returned, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking and how I was feeling. I stood there, blinking.

  The circus clapped. "Micah, that'll do," Bil said. "You're Iona. Zahn, you'll play the Lord at the finale. That's settled then. Come along, me lovelies, let's eat," he said, and people began to file out of the tent, a few clapping me on the shoulder as they passed.

  Aenea left last and we walked out of the tent together.

  "Congratulations," she said, her tone impassive.

  "You're not angry with me, are you?" I asked.

  She was surprised. "Why would I be angry?" She raised an eyebrow, daring me to mention my kiss with Drystan. But I could not mention it. I worried she would ask if I liked the kiss, and that was a lie I would not be able to tell.