Painted Memories (6 page)

As soon as he said it, I released a breath I didn't realize I was holding. My hands were locked around the mug in my lap, and I hadn't moved since sitting back down. I shook my head and laughed. “Sorry, I think I was too scared to move. I didn't want to mess you up.”

“It's okay, nothing a little paint wouldn't fix.”

“It's beautiful, Drew,” I said, gazing at the painting. “What are you going to do with it? Is it for a client?”

“No, not yet. I just felt like painting a sunrise when I woke up.”

“I don't understand why your parents disagree with your choice of career. Not everyone has the skills you have. That should stand for something.”

His smiled disappeared. “Actually, it's my dad who thinks I'm a lazy bum. My mom was always very supportive of my artwork. She had me painting everything around the house before I got into college. She was convinced I needed the practice, like I couldn't get in unless I first proved myself. It wasn't Julliard; I wasn't expected to ‘perform’ first.”

I giggled at the thought and pictured him painting all the household’s fruit and vegetables in a decorative bowl.  “At least, you have someone in your corner.”

“Not anymore,” he frowned. She died two years ago from breast cancer, so she's not around to tell my dad to shut his mouth about my career path.”

“I'm so sorry to hear that. I can only imagine how hard that must have been.” I didn't know what else to say. There's an instant monologue that seems to spew out of people when they know you've lost someone important, as they try to pretend to know how you feel. I heard it a thousand times after Jesse died.

“Thank you. It
was
hard, and still is. My mom and I were very close, and when she died, it only pushed my father and me that much further apart.” He sighed, picked up his brush and dipped the tip in black paint before signing his name on the bottom right corner. “Well, I better head back in and get ready for work.”

I looked at my watch to find it was already seven o'clock. “Crap, I had no idea that I've been out here this long. Let me help you carry something back.”

“Thanks. If you can grab the coffee mugs and the paint tray, I'll get the rest.”

I was still in awe of all the paintings that hung on his wall and wanted to linger around his apartment longer. But I couldn't stay, we both had work and I needed to get ready for it. I walked to the door and turned to tell him goodbye, but he was already behind me with a newspaper in his hand.

“Thanks for coming out, I really enjoyed your company.” 

“You're welcome. I'm glad I woke up early and had the chance to see you in action. I hope you'll let me watch again sometime.”

His eyes lit up, “I would love that. Actually, I'm going tonight after work to look at some studio spaces I found in the paper this morning. Would you like to come with me? I could use a second opinion.”

“Oh, I'm not sure what kind of opinion I could give you, except for some decorating advice... that's probably about it.”

“Well, I could use that too, and the general opinion of a friend.”

The opinion of a friend,
I don't know why those words stuck out in my mind. Of course, he was a friend. He'd been nothing but kind and helpful whenever he saw me. What else did I expect? Something more? No, I had Tyler for that, which was exactly why I was going out with him tonight. Crap. “I can't tonight. I have plans.” I sulked. I really wanted to go, but I wanted my date tonight too, and I couldn't have both.

“Well, I can wait until this weekend--Saturday--if you're free?”

“Oh, don't put it off and miss out on something because of me.”

“It's not a big deal. I'm only looking really; but like I said, I could use your opinion. You are supposed to be my manager, right?” he joked.

“Well, in that case, I better come along. Meet me at my apartment at ten? Is that okay?”

“That will be perfect.”

Toni's Café was a small gem. I felt like I discovered it before the rest of Fairfield ever got the chance... that, or they didn't know a good sandwich shop when they saw one. I found it one day on my way to the dry cleaners across the street and became addicted to it ever since. The food was great, the atmosphere not too busy, and it was, over all, a great place to hang out and talk. That was exactly why I wanted Tyler to meet me here. We could chat, but I could stay within the presence of others, since technically, I really didn't know him.

I checked my watch. It was five minutes until six and I still didn't see Tyler. This was a stupid idea. There was no way he was interested in me. Who was I kidding? Guys with his level of hotness didn't accept dates from ordinary girls like me. I wanted to stare out of the café's window for him to come into view, but I wasn't about to let my eagerness or anxiety show. Picking up the menu, I studied it, took a deep breath, and prepared myself for the inevitable. If he didn't show up, I'd eat my dinner alone like I did every other time I came here.

It was five after six when I decided to order a sweet tea, while trying to narrow down my sandwich choice this time around. Warm fingers brushed over my bare shoulder and I jumped.

“Hi. Sorry I'm late,” he smiled, sitting down in front of me. “I couldn't find a parking spot
closeby, so I had to park around the corner. Did you already order?”

“No, only a drink.”
Thank God he was here and I didn't get stood up! It hurt no matter how much you told yourself that you weren't really that interested anyway. Maybe Tyler really
was
interested me. There was only one way to know for sure... stick with it and see how things went. If I didn't give it a chance, I’d never know.

“You look great, by the way. I don't think I've seen you in anything besides workout clothes. You didn't have to dress up just for me.”

“Well, I didn't want to make a bad impression. Plus, I usually wear something like this to work, so it isn't a big deal.” I picked out a simple, black sleeveless dress this morning. The cover-up sweater I wore throughout the day was shed and left behind in my car, in order to show off my long neck and slight cleavage. I wasn't trying to give him a show, but just a little taste of something more. 

“You shouldn't be worried about trying to impress me. Asking me out before I could ask you impressed me enough.”

“Oh,” I said, trying to reduce the heat radiating in my cheeks. “Anything in particular you wanted to do tonight? I really don't know much about the area, so I was hoping you'd have some ideas.” He peeked at me over the menu; and judging by the way his brown eyes gleamed and roamed down my neck and chest, I had a feeling that taking a long stroll in a park wasn't what he envisioned.

“Actually, I was thinking we could drive over to Imperial Point. Have you been there before?”

“No, I haven't.”

“It's a cove on the Imperial River. A lot of people go there to fish, have a picnic, walk their dogs, read a book, relax, whatever. It's supposed to be mild and clear tonight, and it's never that crowded in the evenings. I thought it would be a good place to relax and get to
know one another. It's kind of hard to do that watching a movie.”

Wow, there might actually be something to this guy besides arm curls and muscles. “That sounds really great, I’d like that.”

“How about we order our food to go and eat at the cove? I've got a blanket in my truck?”

“Really?
You don't mind?”

“No, not at all.
Do you want to ride with me and I'll bring you back whenever you're ready to leave?”

“Okay,” I told him. I didn't see any reason
not
to get in the car with him. My gut told me I'd be fine. As of right now, this was going to be
way
better than I thought it would be.

Imperial Point was one place I knew I'd be back to visit again. It was beautiful, peaceful, and few people seemed to stick around once the sun set behind the trees on the far side of the cove. We ate our sandwiches on his blanket at the edge of the water and talked about nothing important. Our words filled the air with meaningless chit-chat about the weather and the hot temperatures we had this summer.

“Want to take a walk?” Tyler asked after throwing our sandwich wrappers in the trashcan nearby.

“Sure.” He reached for my hand to help me up. I pulled the blanket up with me and shook out the grass before I folded it. Tyler put it back in his truck and I briefly wondered how many other women he'd done this very thing with. I swept the thought away. He was here with me right now and that was all that mattered.

“Let's walk to the pier,” Tyler said, placing his hand on my lower back. “Tell me, Lilly, what kind of work do you do?”

“I'm a teacher over at Maplewood Elementary School.”

“Oh,” he groaned. “How in the world do you deal?”

“Deal? What do you mean?” We reached the end of the pier and I sat down at the edge and let my feet dangle off, sitting back far enough so my toes didn’t touch the water. Snakes came out at dusk, (or so I heard), and I wasn't taking any chances of getting my toes bitten off. 

“I mean, how do you handle all those kids? Aren't most of them noisy, spoiled brats?”

Tyler sat down next to me and leaned back, propping himself up with his hands as he peered over at me. “Brats? No, of course not. I mean, don't get me wrong, some days, I want to pull my hair out, but it's all I've ever wanted to do. I love teaching.” His instant aversion to children made me a bit wary. How could he assume they were all brats? It was a personality trait to note for later. I could never be with someone who didn't love and want children of his own someday. “What about you? Working in a gym,
teaching
people...
women
,” I emphasized “Did you want to always be a personal trainer?” Maybe he did or maybe it was to hit on women?

He sat up and looked out across the water. “No, I never intended to work at a gym. Actually, if you can believe it, I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.” Tyler turned toward me, his brow scrunched up in confusion. “I'm only twenty-six, but for some reason, I feel like time is running out on my career options.”

The way he watched me, with his sad brown eyes staring at me, made me feel sorry for my initial analysis of him.
I
was the one who asked him out first anyway. “Don't feel like that. It's never too late to decide how to live your life, whether you're twenty-six or ninety-six. If you want something bad enough, you should go looking for it. And don't let anyone tell you can't do it.”

Tyler smiled and brushed a wisp of my hair from my cheek with his finger. “You even sound like a teacher,” he teased. “Or you're talking from experience maybe?”

I thought about all those classes I took in college that only wasted my time. I was never interested in half the stuff my father insisted I sign up for. I listened to him for two years, too scared to tell him no. Dad's last-ditch effort was to get me into law school when my brother died and couldn’t step into his shoes. Once I stood up to him, I was a lost cause. I felt as if he no longer cared for me after the accident. It seemed to be the final straw for him, and more and more, he withdrew from me. “Yeah, I do. My father's dreams weren't my dreams and eventually I had to stand up for myself or be miserable and unhappy. It was my life after all, not his.”

“So… is your father okay with you teaching now?”

“Nope. It's one of the many reasons we hardly talk anymore.”

“And losing your relationship with your father was worth your career choice?” he asked, looking across the water.

“Like I said, it's my life. I'm an adult and he shouldn't make my decisions for me anymore. It is what it is.” That was all I wanted to say about my father. He didn't need to know about my brother and what my family lost when he died. Or that my father lost a son, and soon-to-be business partner, someone he could relive his youth through from when he went through law school. When Jesse died, so did my father's aspirations. I became responsible for letting all of his hopes and dreams get washed away.

Tyler must have sensed my decision to end the topic because he changed the subject to something simple. “Isn't it nice out tonight?” he said.

I gazed up at the darkened sky, hardly realizing before that moment how quickly the night had fallen. Autumn was coming and the sun set earlier and earlier every day, even though the temperature tried to remain on the warm side. With a nearly full moon, a glow skimmed across the top of the lake. There were no streetlights to hinder the brightness of the stars or diminish the white of the moon. It was a lovely place. I wondered if Drew had ever come here. I'd have to ask him. There wasn't any doubt in my mind that he wouldn't paint this sky, and the hundreds of stars, making them look like a million dreams on an empty canvas. “Yes, it's beautiful out here. It's so serene. I'm sure it will be one of my new favorite places.”

“Is there anywhere else you'd like to go?” Tyler asked as he
looked at his watch. “It's getting late, but we could get ice cream?”

I was surprised to see how fast the night had crept up on us. In the morning, I had plans with Drew and I needed to get up early; but I wasn’t in the mood for doing anything more tonight anyway. Tired from the day, the thoughts of my parents and Jesse left me with feelings of dread and sorrow. I was ready to go home, curl up in my bed, and hope like hell I could see Jesse again when I fell asleep. Even though my dream last night wasn't real, it was the only way to see him again, and I would take that over not seeing him at all.