Over (5 page)

"Why? Because we got kicked out. All of us. Because of you."

"Even you? Couldn't you have—?"

"No, I couldn't. Marriage is forever. Where my husband goes, I follow. So, here we are. Back in the world. But you're staying in the house for a while. Even if you weren't stuck here because of that leg, he said you're to stay in the house. You're not going anywhere for a long time, Heather."

Disagree

Chad published his latest post, this one a regular sports post. As much as it had killed him, a couple weeks before, he had to stop the daily postings about Macy. There were only so many ways he could spin the same thing, and it had been weeks since there was anything new to report. Not only that, but his page views were going down, which meant that people had either lost interest or given up on ever finding her.

He wasn't going to give up on her, but at the same time, he had to find a way to move on with his life until she returned. And part of that meant taking care of the rest of the family. Alyssa had become more distraught as time went by. It was nearly spring, and Macy had been gone since before Thanksgiving.

Chad checked for new comments and responded right away. His heart wasn't in it, but he wrote with his typical humor on the sports posts. The comments on his Macy posts had moved from sad condolences to theories and people sharing what clues they thought they had found. His response to the clues was telling people to contact the cops if they thought it was real.

Chad picked up his phone, looking for any missed calls or texts. Detective Fleshman was supposed to get back to him that morning. They still didn't have any results from the DNA of the young Jane Doe in the morgue. The first set had been compromised somehow and the next batch had come up inconclusive. Chad certainly didn't understand the medical mumbo-jumbo he and Alyssa had been told. All he knew was that they didn't have the answers they desperately needed.

Would they ever have the results? The body had to be decomposing, even though they probably had ways to slow the process.

The screen in front of him was blurry. It was time for a break. He got up and stretched before going upstairs.

Alex and Zoey sat at the kitchen table with text books, papers, and laptops spread all over the table.

"How's the studying?"

Alex scowled. "I hate history. How is it relevant? Math at least makes sense."

Chad patted Alex's head. "They say those who don't learn history are doomed to repeat it."

"Whatever." Alex went back to his work.

Zoey looked up. "Any word from the police?"

"Not yet."

Her face fell. "When are we going to know?"

Chad pulled some leftovers out from the fridge. "Wish I knew." He scooped some food onto a plate and put it in the microwave. "I keep checking my phone. They have to get some results this time. The third time's a charm, right?"

"I hope so. Or we'll have to wait even longer."

Alex got up and grabbed a pop. "Maybe by then she'll be back home and it won't matter. We all know that dead chick isn't Macy."

"We
hope
it's not her," Zoey said.

"It's not." Alex sat down, twisted the cap off and drank.

Zoey rubbed her stomach, looking sad.

Chad tried not to think about what was under her over-sized shirt—his grandchild. He was barely past forty and he had to think about being a grandparent. It was crazy, but nothing was harder to believe than his thirteen year old becoming a dad. He still couldn't wrap his mind around that one.

"When do your parents get in, Zoey?" asked Chad.

She made a face. "Don't remind me. I wish she'd just stay in Japan with him. Maybe they'll get into a big fight and he'll decide not to come here. Why do you ask? You trying to get rid of me?"

"What?" Chad asked. "No. You're always welcome here. Just like always." Why did he feel like he was digging himself into a hole? "Do you want anything while I'm up?"

"No, but thanks." Zoey went back to her studies. They were both doing an online homeschooling program because they couldn't deal with the social pressures and everything else.

The microwave beeped and Chad got his food and then escaped to the bonus room. He turned on the TV and the news came on. After about fifteen minutes, he realized that they hadn't once mentioned Macy. That made him almost as upset as when they wouldn't stop talking about her. He wasn't sure which was worse.

Alyssa walked by the doorway and then doubled back and sat down next to him. "Did you hear from Fleshman yet?"

He shook his head, his mouth full of beans.

"Me neither." Her lips curled down. "I wish they would at least tell us something. I hate waiting. It seems like that's all we do anymore."

Chad swallowed. "It's not their fault. The tests are being done in Seattle. Maybe even being sent out? The whole thing is confusing, and I can't keep it straight."

"It has to be her."

He nearly choked on broccoli. "What?"

"She's been missing for almost four months, Chad. There haven't been any new clues since, what, December?"

"So you think Macy's dead?"

Tears filled her eyes. "What else am I supposed to think?"

"That she's alive! We can't give up on her." He set his plate down on the coffee table a little too hard.

"What does it matter? We can't do anything about it. Whether she's alive or dead, she's not with us. I, for one, need to mourn. Living in limbo is killing me."

"Then we need to get out and form another search party. If we start one, there are plenty of people who will join us. I can print off more fliers."

"It's not going to
do
anything. Everyone around here already knows that she's missing. Her pictures have been plastered everywhere for months. I need closure."

"Closure? Are you serious?"

Alyssa narrowed her eyes. "Do I look like I'm kidding?"

"You can move on with your life without having closure. You don't need to believe that our daughter is dead. Get back to going to the gym—not that you need to, you look great. Join the book club again. You used to really enjoy that. But don't give up on Macy. Please."

Alyssa's eyes shone with tears. "We have to face reality, Chad. With every day that goes by, and there have been a lot of days, the chances go down of her coming home safely."

Chad took a deep breath. He needed to tread carefully or they would find themselves arguing again, like they had before Macy disappeared. The last thing he wanted was to lose what they'd gained.

He put his arm around Alyssa. "Whatever you do, I'm behind you."

"But you think I'm an idiot for thinking she's dead. I can see it in your eyes. You're living in a Pollyanna world, believing that everything will end up working out. How can it? One baby is gone and the other is going have a baby of his own."

Counting to ten silently, Chad took deep breaths. He spoke slowly. "I like to believe that I'm living in a place of reality, but we can agree to disagree on that. As far as the baby, we don't even know if Zoey is going to keep it."

"Seriously? She's going to make up her mind after holding the baby. There's no way she's going to give up her baby after
holding
it. She's going to fall in love immediately. That's how it works."

"Or she could take one look at the little face and realize she's not ready for the responsibility. She could love the baby enough to make the right decision to give it to a family who desperately wants one."

Alyssa shook her head. "You really do live in a fantasy world."

"Look, I'm trying my best to be patient, but if you keep saying things like that, I can't give you any guarantees. Let's agree to disagree. If we have to, we'll avoid the topic."

"Agree to disagree? We're not talking about wallpaper, Chad. These discussions can't be avoided."

Chad took another slow, deliberate breath. "All I'm saying is that we love each other. The world is falling apart around us and we need to stick together. Macy isn't here, and there's not a damn thing we can do about it. We've done everything we can, and now we just have to live with her absence. Our thirteen year old is going to make us grandparents and we can't change that, either. But we
can
hold onto each other."

She blinked and tears fell onto her face. "I wish I could believe that."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not that easy. Love isn't enough."

"I never said it would be easy. I said we need to stick together. For each other and our kids—regardless of how things end up." Chad begged her with his eyes. He needed her to keep hoping.

Alyssa took his hand. "I do love you. You and Alex are all I have."

"And Macy."

"Not any more." More tears fell.

Chad wanted to convince her that Macy was out there—that she needed them to not give up—but he knew it wouldn't get them anywhere. How could she give up? He scooted closer to her and wrapped his arms around her.

They sat in silence.

How would Chad get through this if she gave up?

After a while, he asked, "What's going on with Zoey?"

"What do you mean?"

"I asked her about her parents, and she got really upset."

"Don't you pay attention? She's hurt because her dad has never had any interest in being in her life. Now that she's pregnant and his career is over, he wants to be involved. Not only is it a slap in the face, but she has all those extra hormones to deal with. It's a double whammy. Teenage hormones and pregnancy. I can't imagine dealing with both at the same time."

"Oh, that explains it." He would never understand female hormones, but from what he had seen, they were very real. He remembered with Alyssa's pregnancies, he had to tread lightly. He would have to do double duty with Zoey.

Chad looked at his empty plate.

"Do you want me to make you something to eat and bring it up?"

"No. I can't eat. We need to start looking into funeral arrangements."

The room shrunk around him. "What?"

"She deserves a memorial service."

"Macy hasn't been pronounced dead. Can't you at least wait for that before you jump the gun?"

"You think I'm acting rash?"

"We haven't even gotten the DNA results back. We have no reason to believe the body is Macy. You can't do this. If she is alive somewhere, you'll just send her the message that we've given up."

"How can I get through to you, Chad? I need closure. I have to be able to say goodbye and move on with my life so I can focus on Alex. That poor kid needs us, and he's dealing with her loss, too. It's not fair. He deserves to have me taking care of him properly."

"He's actually doing pretty well if you hadn't noticed. His grades are higher than they've ever been. The teacher in charge of the online school says he may actually get through the eighth grade stuff before school gets out for the summer. He's not only caught up, but will probably get ahead."

Alyssa folded her arms. "He still needs me to be there for him fully. Not like I've been."

"You can do that without giving Macy a funeral, Lyss. We can act like a family again while still waiting for her to return."

"No, actually I can't. I'm not waiting for the mail, Chad. This is our daughter. I can't wait for her
and
continue on with my life. All I can think about is how she should be with us, but she's not."

They stared each other down. It was obvious that neither one was going to back down.

Arguing

Chad closed his laptop, his eyes heavy from responding to over a hundred comments. It had to be past midnight, but he didn't care to check the time. His stomach growled because he hadn't eaten since lunch. He didn't want to after that disagreement with Alyssa. How could she be so eager to plan Macy's funeral?

It didn't make sense to him, and he wasn't going to allow it. Macy wasn't dead, and he wasn't going let her have a funeral unless she was.

Why was Alyssa being so emotional—jumping to conclusions like this? She needed to keep a calm head. They all did. It was the only way they would make it through the ordeal until Macy did return.

Chad made his way up the stairs. The doors to both Macy's and Alex's rooms were closed with no light coming from underneath. Hopefully that meant Zoey and Alex were both sleeping in separate rooms, with Zoey staying in Macy's. Not that it mattered at that point where they slept.

The light was on in his and Alyssa's room, not that it surprised him. Alyssa was still sleeping at odd times. Sometimes she was too upset to sleep, other times, not being able to stay awake when she wanted to.

Chad stopped cold when he walked in. She had suitcases on their bed—his suitcases.

He steadied his voice. "What's going on, Lyss?"

"You need to move out for a little while."

"Excuse me?"