Outing of the Heart (77 page)
Read Outing of the Heart Online
Authors: Lisa Ann Harper
She decided to dash off a quick note. Not usually one for letters, but somehow the words were there when it came to Tenille, it was wonderful how the act of writing seemed to bring her that much closer. She wished she too, could compose poetry, but being a realist she knew she didn't have the flair. She told her how much she loved her and missed her. Reiterated her commitment to contribute to her goals and never diminish them. On the last page, she explained about Chrysta and expressed her hopes for a possible move this month.
She had to address the letter to Kirsten and since the last one had arrived safely, she supposed this one too, would reach its true destination.
Being Wednesday, she got ready to take herself off to Softball. To give of her best to the game would be very helpful just now; taking her mind off her troubles. Also, she would probably run into Reine and Thea and that was always a pleasure.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
She phoned Chrysta the following afternoon. Her expectations were on a high, which was why she fell so hard when it was explained there was absolutely no hope until either Christmas or the New Year. The waiting list was that full. She groaned dramatically, then wailed, unable to stop herself. âChrysta, we can't wait that long. Are you sure? What about other blocks?' Her face darkened as she furrowed her brow and looked about desperately. âWe've got to find somewhere.' Her hand had flown to rake her hair in impatience. She needed action.
âHold on Sid,' her friend chastised. âDon't go flying off in all directions like a bandy-legged chipmunk. All is not lost.' Chrysta took a deep breath, letting a pulse beat of silence pass. âNow listen,' she commanded sternly. âI knew you'd be disappointed, so I looked around for some other alternative.'
She stopped her wild gestures and did calm down at this, letting go of her hair, to drum a little tattoo on the telephone casing. âYes?'
âWould you settle for sharing a big house?'
She remained silent. This was not what she had been visualizing. She could see them in a bright, freshly modern and compact apartment ⦠but some old, dark and dingy house? She sighed ⦠any port in a storm. Cautiously she proceeded: âWhere and with whom?'
âI checked our notice board and found a small, neatly written request for two women to take the top floor â¦'
âTop floor means stairs. Chrysta, damn it, Tenille's on crutches.' she interjected sharply, her cobalt eyes blazing to indigo.
âWell,' Chrysta retorted, equally impatient: âShe won't be on crutches for ever, you loon ⦠and you did say âin a hurry', so let me finish.' They both took a moment's respite to collect themselves.
âIt's a two-storey house, made over into two, completely separate apartments. It has a fairly good-sized yard. You have to phone to find out where it is, but it's probably not that far from here. Now ⦠are you interested? Oh yes,' she added triumphantly; âPossession can be immediate.'
Sobered and with her brain in gear, she thanked Chrysta for her efforts and said yes, she definitely was interested. âDid the ad. mention terms?'
âNo, but I've got the number to call.'
âGood. I'll take it.' She fished for a pen and used Tenille's envelope. âAny chance we could be dealing with a dyke here?' she enquired as she finished writing. Chrysta considered this a distinct possibility, but all types of people used their notice board. The most promising part, in her considered judgement was that it asked for two women.
âAnyway, I reckon it could be worth a try. All you can do is go round, meet the people and see what you think.'
âYou're right, Chrysta. I'll do that and tonight if possible.'
âGood,' she agreed. âI think this could be your best bet for solving your problem so quickly.' She thought to give a word of advice. âJust don't go being too fussy. Remember, you and Tenille can always make changes to your liking, once you're in.' She signed off. âHappy hunting and good luck.'
Sidonie found another quarter and tried the number. All she got was the answering machine. Must be at work, she mused. No point leaving a message though. As she returned to her room she tried to analyse the voice she'd just heard. It had sounded quite clipped; well educated. Perhaps they were professional women? Tenille would be pleased with that. She didn't think she'd be at ease if they turned out to be hippy. Also, professionals would mean they wouldn't be home all day, so whilst she was recuperating, they'd have the house to themselves, in the afternoon. Very nice.
“Now Sid,”
she reprimanded herself,
“cut that out. Anyway, the place could be a dump.”
She spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on domestic chores, including stocking her fridge and getting rid of a pile of laundry. Six o'clock ⦠time to try again. On the second ring the receiver was picked up. A soft, foreign voice said: âHello, Rani speaking.'
This was unexpected. She had been geared for the voice of the answering machine. âOh Hi â¦' then she stammered, âI'm Er..r, calling regarding your notice Er..r, at the Women's Bookstore. Hm..m, is the apartment still available?'
âYes it is. Do you want to see it?'
âYes, but I also need to know how much the rent is.'
âOh, of course â¦' the woman acknowledged, then temporised, â â¦perhaps it would be a good idea to see it first. Someone else phoned about it and when I told them they decided not to come. We can negotiate,' she offered by way of explanation. âIf you like the place and we like you too,' she added with an embarrassed laugh.
Sidonie digested the unease and thought the woman was probably not too comfortable in the role of landlord. âI'm free this evening if it's convenient for you,' she offered, hopefully.
âYes, that's fine.' She gave the address and directions. #39, Robina Avenue, north of St. Clair Avenue West, between Vaughan Road and Dufferin. Well, it wasn't the downtown she'd hoped for, but not the boonies either. âWould seven be convenient? We have to go out later.'
âPerfect,' agreed Sidonie. âSee you then.'
On the way she dropped her letter to Tenille in the mailbox. âImmediate possession' kept ringing in her ears. She began to hope against hope, the apartment would suit. Perhaps even more importantly, she would suit them. It seemed equally significant the two women be favorably impressed with her. To that end she had chosen her wardrobe with care, dressing conservatively in black jeans, not too tight and a crisp cotton shirt of the palest pink. No rings, just her serviceable watch.
Now she was this close, she was beginning to set her heart on it. She'd completely changed her thinking around from the community set up. Now she was appreciating the idea of the anonymity of a private house and Chrysta was right, Tenille wouldn't be on crutches forever. Lost in these thoughts, she surprised herself when she turned left into Robina Avenue so easily. She'd taken the Yorkdale exit from the 401, then continued south on Marlee. At Eglinton she'd taken a dogleg west to Oakwood and proceeded southward to St Clair West. She was pleased to see the neighborhood was well cared for with many of the original tree plantings still in place. #39 sported a very stately Maple of noble dimensions.
“I wonder who cleans the gutters in the fall?”
an idle speculation. This reality was far from her idea of some rundown construction from a previous time, draughty and creaky. This looked like a well maintained Victorian house. Yes old, but still in good shape. She parked out front, noting the well-tended yard. Someone obviously enjoyed gardening in the traditional style of scalloped lawn edges and abundant floral beds. She didn't know her flowers that well, but could recognize Alyssum and London Pride.
There was no waiting in response to her knock. When the door opened she was face to face with the most beautiful Indian woman she'd ever seen. She wore casual western dress, but her sophistication was unmistakable.
âYou must be Sidonie,' the woman smiled graciously. âDo please come in.' She led the way into the living room through double opening French doors, calling out in the direction of the bedroom, âMoira, Sidonie's here,' then indicated a comfortable chair. The room was beautifully proportioned with a high ceiling, featuring an ornate, plaster rose with matching cornices. The parquetry was shown off to advantage by antique Indian rugs. The room itself had been furnished in a variety of styles. Some of the other chairs looked most uncomfortable and rather formal. It seemed the purchase of the house had used up their resources for the time being and they'd had to resort to best buys where they could. Rani saw her eyes scanning the room and confirmed her suspicions.
âWe bought this house six months ago because we fell in love with it and also as an investment.'
She noticed the use of the personal pronoun and felt her anticipation rise, as to who would be the other half of this stunning woman.
âWe're looking for a reliable couple who will take care of the first floor apartment, respecting the age of the house.' She smiled to reveal dazzlingly white, even teeth and elaborated further. âIts age means we're rather short of closet and storage space in general, but we've managed to furnish it reasonably adequately, we think. At least for now.'
âYes, I understand,' Sidonie encouraged. âYou can't do everything at once. It all takes time doesn't it?'
Rani did not respond to this, since it was at that moment Moira appeared. She wasn't what Sidonie had expected at all, being short and quite plump. Her hazel eyes were enlarged behind conservative, tortoiseshell framed glasses. She judged her to be early fifties. There was no sophistication here, everything bespoke comfort and convenience. She rose as Moira entered.
âHello.' Moira extended her hand. âYou'd like to see the apartment? Follow me.'
Her voice had the same deep, resonant sound Sidonie had detected on the answering machine, like someone used to authority, at ease with the position of command. To Sidonie's surprise they went out the front door. She had expected to go through the house.
âThe apartment has it's own entrance on this side. Very convenient,' Moira added in clipped tones. She unlocked the door and they mounted rather steep, narrow stairs. At the top, another door was unlocked. It opened straight into a large living room, proportioned like the downstairs, with generous dimensions, but running only half the length of the house. There were windows front and back, which Sidonie thought an interesting feature, allowing for a light airiness.
âThe kitchen is through here.' They turned to the right. Yes, it was old looking, but the appliances were new.
âOn the other side, over here â¦' they retraced their steps, â â¦is the bathroom.' It too, looked old, but this time the original tiles in pink with black trim had retained their period elegance. A showerhead had been installed over the bathtub and the curtain ran round on a suspended brass rail. Even the taps were brass.
Moira continued the tour across the other side of the living room. Two doors opened off. One was the master bedroom the other smaller, doubling as a study or office. âWell, there you have it,' Moira declared. âIf you come to this window, you can just about see that we have a large, well-treed back yard. It's private and shady in summer. Round the corner,' she jerked her thumb southward, âjust out of sight, is a BBQ.' Considering the tour complete, she suggested they return downstairs.
Back in the living room, Rani had made coffee. âDo help yourself to cream and sugar,' she offered.
âWhat do you think?' Moira enquired.
Sidonie felt put on the spot. âWell, I don't know. I'd have to check it out with my friend.' She finished with the cream and declined the sugar. âThere is the all-important question of rental fee.'
âWe thought in the neighborhood of about â¦' Moira looked at Rani, â ⦠$400:00 per month.' She was hasty to add as she returned her regard to Sidonie: âWe're not looking for big bucks, you understand, but we need some financial help for us to carry the mortgage.'
âCan I get back to you on this?' Moira nodded, then Sidonie continued, âI guess the hydro and oil are separate too.'
âYes, we have two systems set up in the basement. They must have done this when they made the house into two apartments, so your bills would be independent of ours.'
âThis is a much better way too, I think,' Rani observed. She had not been contributing to the discussion, but was attentive. Now she faced Sidonie directly: âDon't you?'
âYes,' Sidonie agreed. âIt would make it easier all round.' With this, she rose to take her leave, thanking them for their time and promising to phone within the next few days. Moira told her they were usually home about now, but she gave her the mobile number just in case.
As Sidonie returned to her car, her brain was busy thinking over all the angles. The apartment was definitely not what she'd had in mind. Although not as bad as she'd at first feared, she still couldn't see herself and Tenille in those surroundings. She began driving automatically through the flow of evening traffic. She had meant to notice the proximity of any convenience stores or shopping plazas, but was already approaching the highway collector lane before she realized she'd missed her chance. A big plus in favor of the house was the immediate occupancy. However, if she took the time, there were probably many others out there with vacant possession. As she eased into the traffic, heading west, other positives presented themselves. The neighborhood: quiet and residential: an environment in which Tenille could feel comfortable. For herself, she had always liked the busy anonymity of downtown, suiting her lesbian lifestyle but ⦠what the hell, she was stuck way out in the Styx at Rexdale as it was. She knew Tenille would appreciate the garden,
like home,
as she did, for that matter. Was she talking herself into it?
She had to address the letter to Kirsten and since the last one had arrived safely, she supposed this one too, would reach its true destination.
Being Wednesday, she got ready to take herself off to Softball. To give of her best to the game would be very helpful just now; taking her mind off her troubles. Also, she would probably run into Reine and Thea and that was always a pleasure.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
She phoned Chrysta the following afternoon. Her expectations were on a high, which was why she fell so hard when it was explained there was absolutely no hope until either Christmas or the New Year. The waiting list was that full. She groaned dramatically, then wailed, unable to stop herself. âChrysta, we can't wait that long. Are you sure? What about other blocks?' Her face darkened as she furrowed her brow and looked about desperately. âWe've got to find somewhere.' Her hand had flown to rake her hair in impatience. She needed action.
âHold on Sid,' her friend chastised. âDon't go flying off in all directions like a bandy-legged chipmunk. All is not lost.' Chrysta took a deep breath, letting a pulse beat of silence pass. âNow listen,' she commanded sternly. âI knew you'd be disappointed, so I looked around for some other alternative.'
She stopped her wild gestures and did calm down at this, letting go of her hair, to drum a little tattoo on the telephone casing. âYes?'
âWould you settle for sharing a big house?'
She remained silent. This was not what she had been visualizing. She could see them in a bright, freshly modern and compact apartment ⦠but some old, dark and dingy house? She sighed ⦠any port in a storm. Cautiously she proceeded: âWhere and with whom?'
âI checked our notice board and found a small, neatly written request for two women to take the top floor â¦'
âTop floor means stairs. Chrysta, damn it, Tenille's on crutches.' she interjected sharply, her cobalt eyes blazing to indigo.
âWell,' Chrysta retorted, equally impatient: âShe won't be on crutches for ever, you loon ⦠and you did say âin a hurry', so let me finish.' They both took a moment's respite to collect themselves.
âIt's a two-storey house, made over into two, completely separate apartments. It has a fairly good-sized yard. You have to phone to find out where it is, but it's probably not that far from here. Now ⦠are you interested? Oh yes,' she added triumphantly; âPossession can be immediate.'
Sobered and with her brain in gear, she thanked Chrysta for her efforts and said yes, she definitely was interested. âDid the ad. mention terms?'
âNo, but I've got the number to call.'
âGood. I'll take it.' She fished for a pen and used Tenille's envelope. âAny chance we could be dealing with a dyke here?' she enquired as she finished writing. Chrysta considered this a distinct possibility, but all types of people used their notice board. The most promising part, in her considered judgement was that it asked for two women.
âAnyway, I reckon it could be worth a try. All you can do is go round, meet the people and see what you think.'
âYou're right, Chrysta. I'll do that and tonight if possible.'
âGood,' she agreed. âI think this could be your best bet for solving your problem so quickly.' She thought to give a word of advice. âJust don't go being too fussy. Remember, you and Tenille can always make changes to your liking, once you're in.' She signed off. âHappy hunting and good luck.'
Sidonie found another quarter and tried the number. All she got was the answering machine. Must be at work, she mused. No point leaving a message though. As she returned to her room she tried to analyse the voice she'd just heard. It had sounded quite clipped; well educated. Perhaps they were professional women? Tenille would be pleased with that. She didn't think she'd be at ease if they turned out to be hippy. Also, professionals would mean they wouldn't be home all day, so whilst she was recuperating, they'd have the house to themselves, in the afternoon. Very nice.
“Now Sid,”
she reprimanded herself,
“cut that out. Anyway, the place could be a dump.”
She spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on domestic chores, including stocking her fridge and getting rid of a pile of laundry. Six o'clock ⦠time to try again. On the second ring the receiver was picked up. A soft, foreign voice said: âHello, Rani speaking.'
This was unexpected. She had been geared for the voice of the answering machine. âOh Hi â¦' then she stammered, âI'm Er..r, calling regarding your notice Er..r, at the Women's Bookstore. Hm..m, is the apartment still available?'
âYes it is. Do you want to see it?'
âYes, but I also need to know how much the rent is.'
âOh, of course â¦' the woman acknowledged, then temporised, â â¦perhaps it would be a good idea to see it first. Someone else phoned about it and when I told them they decided not to come. We can negotiate,' she offered by way of explanation. âIf you like the place and we like you too,' she added with an embarrassed laugh.
Sidonie digested the unease and thought the woman was probably not too comfortable in the role of landlord. âI'm free this evening if it's convenient for you,' she offered, hopefully.
âYes, that's fine.' She gave the address and directions. #39, Robina Avenue, north of St. Clair Avenue West, between Vaughan Road and Dufferin. Well, it wasn't the downtown she'd hoped for, but not the boonies either. âWould seven be convenient? We have to go out later.'
âPerfect,' agreed Sidonie. âSee you then.'
On the way she dropped her letter to Tenille in the mailbox. âImmediate possession' kept ringing in her ears. She began to hope against hope, the apartment would suit. Perhaps even more importantly, she would suit them. It seemed equally significant the two women be favorably impressed with her. To that end she had chosen her wardrobe with care, dressing conservatively in black jeans, not too tight and a crisp cotton shirt of the palest pink. No rings, just her serviceable watch.
Now she was this close, she was beginning to set her heart on it. She'd completely changed her thinking around from the community set up. Now she was appreciating the idea of the anonymity of a private house and Chrysta was right, Tenille wouldn't be on crutches forever. Lost in these thoughts, she surprised herself when she turned left into Robina Avenue so easily. She'd taken the Yorkdale exit from the 401, then continued south on Marlee. At Eglinton she'd taken a dogleg west to Oakwood and proceeded southward to St Clair West. She was pleased to see the neighborhood was well cared for with many of the original tree plantings still in place. #39 sported a very stately Maple of noble dimensions.
“I wonder who cleans the gutters in the fall?”
an idle speculation. This reality was far from her idea of some rundown construction from a previous time, draughty and creaky. This looked like a well maintained Victorian house. Yes old, but still in good shape. She parked out front, noting the well-tended yard. Someone obviously enjoyed gardening in the traditional style of scalloped lawn edges and abundant floral beds. She didn't know her flowers that well, but could recognize Alyssum and London Pride.
There was no waiting in response to her knock. When the door opened she was face to face with the most beautiful Indian woman she'd ever seen. She wore casual western dress, but her sophistication was unmistakable.
âYou must be Sidonie,' the woman smiled graciously. âDo please come in.' She led the way into the living room through double opening French doors, calling out in the direction of the bedroom, âMoira, Sidonie's here,' then indicated a comfortable chair. The room was beautifully proportioned with a high ceiling, featuring an ornate, plaster rose with matching cornices. The parquetry was shown off to advantage by antique Indian rugs. The room itself had been furnished in a variety of styles. Some of the other chairs looked most uncomfortable and rather formal. It seemed the purchase of the house had used up their resources for the time being and they'd had to resort to best buys where they could. Rani saw her eyes scanning the room and confirmed her suspicions.
âWe bought this house six months ago because we fell in love with it and also as an investment.'
She noticed the use of the personal pronoun and felt her anticipation rise, as to who would be the other half of this stunning woman.
âWe're looking for a reliable couple who will take care of the first floor apartment, respecting the age of the house.' She smiled to reveal dazzlingly white, even teeth and elaborated further. âIts age means we're rather short of closet and storage space in general, but we've managed to furnish it reasonably adequately, we think. At least for now.'
âYes, I understand,' Sidonie encouraged. âYou can't do everything at once. It all takes time doesn't it?'
Rani did not respond to this, since it was at that moment Moira appeared. She wasn't what Sidonie had expected at all, being short and quite plump. Her hazel eyes were enlarged behind conservative, tortoiseshell framed glasses. She judged her to be early fifties. There was no sophistication here, everything bespoke comfort and convenience. She rose as Moira entered.
âHello.' Moira extended her hand. âYou'd like to see the apartment? Follow me.'
Her voice had the same deep, resonant sound Sidonie had detected on the answering machine, like someone used to authority, at ease with the position of command. To Sidonie's surprise they went out the front door. She had expected to go through the house.
âThe apartment has it's own entrance on this side. Very convenient,' Moira added in clipped tones. She unlocked the door and they mounted rather steep, narrow stairs. At the top, another door was unlocked. It opened straight into a large living room, proportioned like the downstairs, with generous dimensions, but running only half the length of the house. There were windows front and back, which Sidonie thought an interesting feature, allowing for a light airiness.
âThe kitchen is through here.' They turned to the right. Yes, it was old looking, but the appliances were new.
âOn the other side, over here â¦' they retraced their steps, â â¦is the bathroom.' It too, looked old, but this time the original tiles in pink with black trim had retained their period elegance. A showerhead had been installed over the bathtub and the curtain ran round on a suspended brass rail. Even the taps were brass.
Moira continued the tour across the other side of the living room. Two doors opened off. One was the master bedroom the other smaller, doubling as a study or office. âWell, there you have it,' Moira declared. âIf you come to this window, you can just about see that we have a large, well-treed back yard. It's private and shady in summer. Round the corner,' she jerked her thumb southward, âjust out of sight, is a BBQ.' Considering the tour complete, she suggested they return downstairs.
Back in the living room, Rani had made coffee. âDo help yourself to cream and sugar,' she offered.
âWhat do you think?' Moira enquired.
Sidonie felt put on the spot. âWell, I don't know. I'd have to check it out with my friend.' She finished with the cream and declined the sugar. âThere is the all-important question of rental fee.'
âWe thought in the neighborhood of about â¦' Moira looked at Rani, â ⦠$400:00 per month.' She was hasty to add as she returned her regard to Sidonie: âWe're not looking for big bucks, you understand, but we need some financial help for us to carry the mortgage.'
âCan I get back to you on this?' Moira nodded, then Sidonie continued, âI guess the hydro and oil are separate too.'
âYes, we have two systems set up in the basement. They must have done this when they made the house into two apartments, so your bills would be independent of ours.'
âThis is a much better way too, I think,' Rani observed. She had not been contributing to the discussion, but was attentive. Now she faced Sidonie directly: âDon't you?'
âYes,' Sidonie agreed. âIt would make it easier all round.' With this, she rose to take her leave, thanking them for their time and promising to phone within the next few days. Moira told her they were usually home about now, but she gave her the mobile number just in case.
As Sidonie returned to her car, her brain was busy thinking over all the angles. The apartment was definitely not what she'd had in mind. Although not as bad as she'd at first feared, she still couldn't see herself and Tenille in those surroundings. She began driving automatically through the flow of evening traffic. She had meant to notice the proximity of any convenience stores or shopping plazas, but was already approaching the highway collector lane before she realized she'd missed her chance. A big plus in favor of the house was the immediate occupancy. However, if she took the time, there were probably many others out there with vacant possession. As she eased into the traffic, heading west, other positives presented themselves. The neighborhood: quiet and residential: an environment in which Tenille could feel comfortable. For herself, she had always liked the busy anonymity of downtown, suiting her lesbian lifestyle but ⦠what the hell, she was stuck way out in the Styx at Rexdale as it was. She knew Tenille would appreciate the garden,
like home,
as she did, for that matter. Was she talking herself into it?
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