Out of The Box Regifted (33 page)

“Liv, I was just kidding. I know we have to do it right. I just get impatient I want your last name to be Harper not Petersen. It’s an Alpha male thing and I just want to claim you. Not in a bad way, but I just want you to be mine. We’ll plan something nice in the fall if you want. You just tell me when and where, and I’ll be there my love. Come on, let’s walk.”

He reaches for my hand and we walk along the beach, letting the cool water from the ocean roll over our feet. He’s leading us back over to where we are in sight of the reception from our spot on the beach, and I can hear the music playing. The band Ellen has hired is really amazing and I realize that Ash has brought me to this spot, because they’re singing our song,
Thank You For Loving Me
by Bon Jovi. I stop dead in my tracks, as Ash takes my hand. “I asked Ellen to put it on their playlist. Dance with me?” He takes me into his arms and we dance, barefoot on the beach, in the moonlight. Tears form in my eyes, as I listen to the words Ash is singing in my ear. Every time I hear this song, I realize that Ash and I were destined to be together. He was my eyes when I couldn’t see, and he literally brought breath into me when I couldn’t breathe. He saved my life in more ways than one.

“Liv, honey, why are you crying? Are you unhappy about something?”

“No Ash, I’m the happiest woman in the world. This song just…well, it’s just the story of us, isn’t it? I thank God every day of my life that you love me. You have no idea how thankful I am. Thank you Ash. You are my everything. If anything ever happens to me, I just want you to know that.”

“Liv, nothing is gonna happen to you. And I should say the same thing to you. Thank YOU for loving me. I’m a damn lucky man, you know.”

We dance a few more songs, carefree as two kids in the sand and when I yawn, my man takes me into his arms. “Liv, let’s get you to the room and into bed. You’re done for the night, I think.”

He gets our things together and has me in his arms, carrying me off the beach and into the hotel. People are looking at us, as we get on the elevator, but I don’t care. Once we get to our room, he undresses me and carries me into the bathroom. “Here, sit down and I’ll take your makeup off.” He sits me on the vanity stool and with some of my face wash and a washcloth, he carefully washes my face.

“I can do this you know.”

“Of course I know you can, but you’re tired and I like doing this. There. Makeup free and ready for whatever creams you put on. I’ll let you do that.”

I look at him and have to laugh. He’s so caring and damn cute. Alan would have never in a million years offered to help me get ready for bed. I put my face cream on, as he is leaning on the counter watching me like a little kid.

“So is that to prevent wrinkles or something?”

“Haha. Yeah, something like that.” I giggle.

“Well, it looks like it works, because I’m not seeing any wrinkles. You’re pretty damn hot, even without makeup you know.”

He gets our toothbrushes out, loads them with toothpaste and we stand in front of the mirror, brushing our teeth together. Ash laughs and toothpaste falls out of his mouth.

I wipe the toothpaste from his chin and giggle, “You’re making a mess, Ash Harper.”

He strips down naked and pulls the covers back for us. I snuggle into my favorite position and he gently rubs my head. The curtains to the room are open and the only light in the room is from the beautiful full moon. Wrapped in his arms, I relax and begin to doze off.

“Good night. I liv you.”

“Good night Ash, I liv you back.”

The next morning, as we are getting ready to have breakfast with Ellen and David, my phone goes off signaling a text. It’s from Todd. ‘
You guys still coming? I need to talk to you.’

I wonder what he’s doing up so early, but then again he’s pretty much an early riser. Something must be up and I’m worried, so I text back. ‘
Wanna talk? You can call me.’

He immediately responds. ‘
Call you in five.’

I have to ask. ‘
Brenna?’

‘
No.’

While Ash is in the shower, Todd calls. I answer and in an emotionally detached voice, he simply says, “Hey.”

I have to find out what’s going on. I ask him for details and he’s hesitant to talk.

“I told you we’re coming. What the heck’s going on? You sound upset.”

He sighs into the phone, “Upset isn’t the fucking word for it. I can’t go into it right now, but it’s been a fucking rough few days.”

“And?”

The tone of his voice quickly turns to agitated. “We’ll talk when you get here okay? I just need to know you’re coming”

I prod him to tell me more. “I told you we’re coming Todd, but you’ve got me worried. You can’t just call and get all vague, then expect me to just say ‘oh okay Todd whatever’. You know me better than that.”

His voice cracks, “Aw Shit. I shouldn’t have even fucking called. There’s just some shit going on and… I just need to know for sure that you’re coming and bringing my gal. I need you guys so fucking bad right now and I’m sorry I’m being ‘vague’, as you say, but I just can’t talk about it. Plus I tried texting. You were the one who told me to call. You understand babe, don’t you?”

I reluctantly ask, “You’re not in some kind of trouble are you? Is Tommy okay?”

His voice gets angry. “Look, everyone’s fucking fine. Like I said I shouldn’t have called. I can’t talk right now. I… Fuck it. I gotta go. Calling was a bad idea.” He hangs up the phone and I sit there in a state of shock. I shake my head and realize that he’s just hurt my feelings. I get a text with a sad face, ‘
I’m sorry. Don’t be mad at me...’
and it makes my cry.

I text him back, ‘
k. I’m here if you need to talk’

***

Ash and I get dressed, packed up, and we meet David and Ellen for breakfast. Afterwards, we say our goodbyes and head to the airport. I’m anxious to get home and back to work. As much as I loved Palm Beach, I want to be in my house and sleep in my own bed.

Once we’re back home, Ash carries everything into the house and the house phone rings. We both look at the caller ID. Crap. It’s Alan. Do I even need this right now?

Ash answers the call, “Alan, I thought I asked you not to call here again. What could you possibly want to talk to Olivia about? Haven’t you done enough already?”

They talk for a few minutes and, with an irritated look on his face, he hands the phone to me, “Here, he wants to talk to you.”

Ash is not happy, and I really don’t want to talk to Alan. I don’t need Ash being upset with me and I don’t want any dissention between us. Reluctantly, I take the phone.

Alan said he was just calling to let me know he’s back in Chicago and that he would like to meet for lunch to talk. I tell him that it’s not a good idea, and that there isn’t really anything to say.

“Olivia, I’m going through some really bad depression right now. I’ve got to let you know how sorry I am, and I need to let you know that I’m still in love with you.”

I throw my head back in exasperation and stop the conversation. “Alan just stop! You’ve got to stop calling me.”

Ash is standing by me, as I tilt the phone so he can hear the conversation. Alan starts pleading, “Just hear me out please, Liv. My therapist said I’ve got to be open with my feelings and I need to let the people I’ve hurt know what I feel. I’m going to call the kids too, but I need to see you. Please, can you just give me that?”

Ash puts his hand up in a dismissive way and shakes his head. I hold my finger up and do my best to end this call without yelling. I’m so tempted to verbally blast Alan, but I’m a better person than that.

I walk into the kitchen and sit at the bar. Ash comes to stand in the doorway and leans up against the frame, with his arms crossed and a mixed emotion smile on his face.

With my best authoritative voice, I take a deep breath and admonish Alan, “Look Alan, I’m sorry about the wreck. I’m sorry about Kelly and Anabelle. But we are over, Alan. You hurt me and turned my world upside down, but you’ve apologized and I accept it. Don’t waste your time calling me again. Your kids are the ones you should be calling and apologizing to. Goodbye.” I hit end and place the phone on the counter. Ash comes to stand behind me and puts his arms around my neck, leaning into me.

I look back at him. “I’m sorry Ash. I’ve asked him not to call me, but he just keeps it up.”

He slowly exhales, “Liv, look. I know he was your husband, but I can’t stand to hear you talking to him.” He gestures with his hand, “I was fine with you going to the funeral. Honestly? I admire you for going and I’d never have asked you not to go.” He puts his hands in his pockets and walks over to the window. Staring outside, he makes an admission, “I’m sorry Liv, but it bothers me. It goddamn goes all over me. Matter of fact, it fucking pisses me off.”

He abruptly leaves the room and I’m left there stunned, having to ponder what’s just happened. With tears in my eyes, I look down at the cold granite counter and trace a figure eight over and over. I’ve been thrown into the middle of this and I don’t know what to do.

I go looking for Ash and see that the door to his office is ajar. He’s at his desk, with his feet propped up and hands behind his head. His eyes are closed and he’s breathing out from his mouth. I can tell he’s hurt and needs some time alone. He spots me spying and smiles.

“Okay that was my temper tantrum. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, Liv. It wasn’t fair.” He motions for me to come over and I sit on his lap as he rocks me slowly, we say nothing. He gently wipes a tear from my face and runs his hand through my hair. With his chin, he nudges my face and whispers, “Once again, I overreacted. But I’ve got an idea.” He lifts me to sit on the desk facing him and looks me in the eye, “Okay. Here’s what I think and just hear me out. I think we need to meet him for dinner, just the three of us. He needs to see us together, Liv.” He puts his hands on either side of me and leans in closer, “He need to see how much we love each other and I don’t mean that rubbing it in his face, but he needs to know that things between the two of you are over and in the past.” He stands up and tenderly takes my face into his hands. “Seeing us together, united, may be just what he needs to get his closure.” He holds his arms out, “What do you think? Do you agree?”

I put my arms around his waist and rest my cheek on his stomach. “I totally agree. I love you so much.”

He rests his chin on the top of my head, “Even when I act like an ass?”

I giggle, “Yes. Even when you act like an ass.”

“Then why don’t you give him a call tomorrow, and let him suggest a place.”

The next morning, I dial Alan’s number and he answers on the first ring. “Liv?”

“Yes Alan, it’s me.” I’m nervously walking the perimeter of the kitchen, putting one foot in front of the other, counting each step in my mind.

I clear my throat. “Ah hem. Look, I was thinking it might be nice if we could meet for dinner. Just you, me, and Ash. There’s a lot of things I think have been left unsaid, and well.”

He interrupts me, “You’re right Liv. I think that’s a great idea. We could meet tomorrow night, if you want to. There’s a little place over on California in Logan Square, called Buona Terra. Why don’t we meet there? I’ll make reservations.”

I exhale, as I end the call. Now to tell Ash.

The next day Ash picks me up from work and can immediately sense that I’m anxious. I get into the car and start fidgeting with the hem of my skirt, as my foot nervously shakes. Ash cocks his head to the side and reassuringly looks at me, “I can tell you’re apprehensive about this, Sunshine. It’s gonna be alright and it’s the right thing to do. I’m with you all the way.” He looks in the rearview mirror at himself and smiles. “Besides, we make a pretty damn good looking couple, dontcha think?”

Once inside the restaurant, we find Alan, who already has a table for us. Ash takes my hand and we make our way to the table. He pulls the chair out for me and kisses the back of my neck, as I sit down. I look up at him and smile, “Thanks honey.” Alan politely smiles and shakes Ash’s hand across the table. Ash takes his seat beside me and demonstratively places my hand on the table, rubbing it softly. Ash has marked his territory. Alan senses it and begins the conversation. He looks frail and, he’s lost an enormous amount of weight. He was more on the heavy set side - a much larger build than Ash. I see a cane hanging on the back of his chair, which is probably why he didn’t get up when we got to the table. His face is drawn and his eyes are shallow. He looks like a broken man, but I’m not going to let it get to me. Ash continues to rub my hand, as a secret way of declaring our solidarity.