Out of The Box Regifted (11 page)

She tells us who will walk her down the aisle. “I’ve asked Brian and Steve to walk me, and they both said they’d be honored to. At first I thought they wouldn’t want to do it, but I actually think they’re pretty excited. Tommy said they’re actually arguing about who is going to give me away, and I think that’s so cute.” She smiles and giggles.

I’m emotional. I wish to hell her, her father would do the honors, but she is happy with Brian and Steve doing this. They are family, albeit band family, but it’s only fitting that the guys step up to do this. I’m elated that she’s asked Lainey to stand up with her and be a bridesmaid.

“So, what do you have in mind for your bridesmaid’s dresses?”

“Well, I want simple, flowing dresses in coral, if that’s possible. And I’d like simple flowers, maybe just hydrangeas.”

Kyra offers her help. “Emily, I’ll call Lainey and we’ll find the perfect dresses, I promise! I think I know what you’ll like. Lainey and I have talked and we have some great ideas.”

Once lunch arrives, we talk a bit about the ceremony and what else she wants. Emily says that Tommy doesn’t want his groomsmen to wear tuxes, but rather khaki pants, white shirts, with loosened black ties and black Converse tennis shoes. How out of the box is this?

I tell Emily that I think we should do tenting in the lots adjacent to the house, taking into consideration what the weather may or may not do. “Olivia, I’ve always wanted to walk down the aisle barefoot or in sandals, and don’t care what the weather’s like. I’m just not a high heeled type. Plus, I’d probably fall on my butt if I tried to walk in heels. I’ll be so nervous.” I have to agree with her and think the barefoot idea is spectacular. Definitely nontraditional.

Sarah had recommended some caterers and event planners, which I’ve called and set up appointments, and Emily seems to want me to take the lead on this.

She looks relieved and excited, “Olivia, I’m leaving all those details to you. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m not good at this and I know you’ve done this before. I’ll help in whatever way I can, but I’d love if you would help us out on this. Tommy said you’re the ultimate planner.”

I’m so proud she’s asked me to help. “Honey, I’m so flattered and I can’t wait to help out. Yes, I’ve done this before and I’ll do everything I can to make this the perfect day for you and Tommy. Count on it.”

Kyra’s given us all cute little notebooks, so we can take our notes. They’re darling fabric covered books, with a bright colored floral print. She giggles, “I thought these would be kinda cute. I’m an organizer, in case you didn’t know.” She rolls her eyes.

While we eat, we make our lists of things to-do and everyone has their tasks to accomplish. Poor Mariah has the daunting task of contacting Glenn, and seeing if he’ll participate as father of the bride. I don’t envy her one bit.

She pulls me to the side and looks serious, “Olivia, I’m gonna do what I can, but I can’t promise anything. As much as I want Glenn to be there, I’m just not sure…”

***

After lunch, as we’re waiting for our cars to be brought around by the valet, Kyra gets a text from Todd. She giggles and shows us the text. ‘
What’s up babe? Wish you were here. Pretty jealous that you’re spending so much time away from me…hey I’m lonesome....wanna make it up to me??’

“Is he too cute or what?” Emily laughs.

Anxiously, I find I’m missing my man as well, so I head home. I get a text from Ash while I’m driving, and it makes me smile. ‘
Wedding plans going good? I’m home, undressed, and waiting for you! A’

Dear God, I’m more than ready for him. I drive as fast as I legally can, and try to imagine what he’s got planned for us. I wave excitedly, as I pull up into the driveway and see him out on the doorstep looking way too sexy. He’s in a pair of jogging pants and is shirtless - showing his gorgeous ripped body. He waves back smiling, and waits for me to get out of the car. He must be freezing standing out here. Standing by the front door with a pouty look on his face, he grabs me playfully at the door. “I was just about to think you weren’t coming home, Sunshine. I was lonely.”

He pulls me inside the door and scoops me into his arms. “I was freezing my ass off waiting for you.” He laughs, looking back at his rear end.

“Aww poor baby.” I take his face in my hands. He sets me on my feet and, we giggle as he slowly backs me up towards the stairs, while kissing me. Then he takes my purse off my arm, and slings it to the floor. He salaciously smiles, as he’s nipping at my bottom lip, softly muttering, “You won’t be needing that.” We make it all the way to the fourth step when he lays me back, eagerly groping at my clothes as I help him take them off. Looking down at my breast, he raises his eyebrow. “Ummm the girls sure look happy to see me.”

I’ve thought about him all day, and am tingling with desire. Consumed with the smell and feel of him, he gently plays with my nipples, which excites me and I’m aroused even more by his touch. Without missing a beat, he quickly kicks off his pants.

I’ve never had sex on stairs, but I think I’m gonna love this. He masterfully takes charge and my body is on fire. The cold from the wood stairs makes me shiver, and he places his pants behind my back to support me. “Better?”

“
Much.” I reply, as I smile at him.

He hovers over me, swaying slowly back and forth, “I’m fixing to show you love on the stairs, and this is some good loving...” He winks as I succumb to him. We’ve worked our way up to the 10th step where I scream out my release. He turns me on my stomach, parts my legs with his knee, and works his way to his own climax.

Panting from our passionate tryst, we sit up and I laugh as he attempts to smooth my messed up hair. “We’re getting better by the day, Sunshine.” Looking down the stairs he remarks, “Count how many steps we did. I’m out of breath.”

I look down and with my fingers count. “I count ten - how bout you? I’ve never done it on the stairs before. Have you?”

He looks at me like he’s about to come clean, and I don’t know if I want to even know the answer.

“I have.” He replies nonchalantly.

I don’t know why I feel like I want to know about his past sexual experiences. It makes me mad, yet I still want to know. He sees the irritated look on my face, and tries to diffuse the situation.

“Look - I know you said that you and Alan didn’t have an adventurous sex life, and I’m sorry. One of the things I love most about you is that you’re open and willing to try new things. I love being the first one you screwed on the stairs.” He seductively winks.

“What I’ve done, and what you haven’t doesn’t mean a thing. All we need to do is concentrate on us in the present tense. The past is inconsequential.”

Realizing he’s right, my anger subsides, as I snuggle into him. He kisses me tenderly and rubs my arm.

He offers his hand, “Come on beautiful, let’s go to bed. Tomorrow morning I want to hear all about the wedding plans, but tonight I just want listen to music, and hold you in my arms.”

He carries me to bed and once we’re cuddled up together, his leg tenderly rubbing mine, my over thinking self can’t seem to let this go.

I whisper, “Ash, was it Anne you had sex on the stairs with?”

He breathes out slowly, “Liv please. I really don’t want to have this conversation. Let’s just go to sleep. Can you just drop it?”

He turns on the light, and I turn over to look at him. He inhales deeply, closes his eyes, and shakes his head. I’m confused; I feel like he’s trying to placate me, and once again I get angry. “No, I’d like to know. I think have a right to ask.”

Not having seen this side of me before, he looks perplexed.

“Look, I’m not comfortable going into my sex life with Anne. That’s not fair Liv.” He gets defensive, “Have I ever asked about Alan fucking you? Did I ask if he went down on you? Did I ask if he fucked you on my stairs the weekend I was gone? I know you had sex with him that weekend.” I’m shocked at his response, and it takes my breath away. I’m fuming mad and fighting tears, as my foot nervously shakes.

He frowns, as he continues, “The answer is no, because I don’t want to know. I know he probably did, but I don’t want the vision of him on top of you ingrained in my mind. It goddamn goes all over me to think of another man touching you Liv, and I don’t know why you’re so insecure about this.” The look on his face softens, as he lovingly splays soft kisses all over my face. “Honey, you’ve come so far from the night Alan destroyed your world. I was there remember? I saw what it did to you, and it broke my heart.” His voice cracks and he gets tears in his eyes. “It broke my goddamn heart, Liv.” He sits up and pulls my arms to raise me. Sitting face to face, with our legs crossed, he pulls me into him. “You’re just now getting your sense of security back. I see it every day and I’m your biggest fan. I want the tenacious, confident Liv, that I know exists. Just please don’t think about things that don’t matter. Don’t make me relive what I’ve put behind me. Someday, and soon enough, I promise I’ll tell you everything, just like I told you about the twins. I’m just not ready yet.” I can sense that there is something very emotional he can’t talk about.

I throw my head back and sigh, “Uhh. Can’t we just forget this?
”

He takes my head into his hands, and his lip is quivering, “I’m trying Liv, but you make it really hard. You keep pressing for things I just can’t talk about right now. I want us to concentrate on
our
relationship, and we need to make progress, not regress.” He gets up on his knees, and puts his hands on his knees. “Sunshine, I’ve waited so long for someone like you to come into my life. I love you so fucking much.” His voice starts to crack.

I gasp at his show of emotion, and tearfully put my hand over my mouth.

“I love you too Ash, but when I ask questions you get offended and that bothers me. You’ve asked me to marry you, for God’s sake. We should be able to talk honestly. Yes, I realize you know what I went through with Alan. You know how insecure I’ve been. Hell, you saved my life that night.” I bite the inside of my lip nervously. “Sometimes your dismissive remarks make me feel so inadequate, and I know you don’t mean it like that, but you make me feel...subordinate.” I take a deep breath and aimlessly shake my head, running my hands through my hair. “Jesus! Does that even fucking make sense?” I sigh and drop my head. “I promised myself after Alan, that I would never be someone’s lower half ever again, and I’m not gonna be afraid to express my feelings, Ash. If you can’t accept that, then maybe we need to rethink…” I put my head in my hands and sob.

He scoots in closer to me, as tears fall from his eyes onto my leg. “Liv, you’re not subordinate, and I’m so sorry if I made you feel that way. God woman! Can’t you see how much you mean to me?” He throws his hands up and his head back. “If I ever lose you, I’ll die… I swear to God... I’ll die. I don’t want to lose you, Sunshine. Please…”

I take him into my arms, “I love you Ash. I love you so much.”

He smiles, tries to make light of things. “So was this our first fight?”

I laugh, as he wipes the tears from my face with his thumbs.

“Actually our first fight was the night you were drunk, and called me from your hotel room. You were pretty twisted.”

He strokes my face and laughs, “Ah yeah I remember that. The best night I’ll never remember.” He cackles.

He pulls me back onto the bed, with his arms on either side of me, and his eyes have a longing look. “Liv, from now on, let’s move forward. I don’t want to rehash the past, and I don’t want to fight. I just want you. Promise me? Pinky swear?”

With tears in my eyes, I nod my head. “I promise. Pinky swear.”

I’m giddy with excitement, as we drive to the airport for our flight to Houston. Ash looks at me laughing, and shakes his head. “You’re not gonna have a leg left, if you don’t quit shaking it, Sunshine.”

I giggle, as I look down at my leg. “I’m just anxious.”

He winks, “Ya think?”

To prepare for our flight, Ash and I each made playlists of our iTunes. Music’s such an important part of our lives, and I love how we create playlists for special occasions. He winks and puckers his lips, “Liv, you’re gonna love the playlist I made for you.”

I tap his nose and banter back, “Well, I’m betting mine for you, will top yours for me.”

He raises his eyebrows, cocking his head to the side, “We’ll just have to see, Sunshine. I’m pretty competitive, ya know.”