Out of Place (18 page)

Zack
gave her a few seconds before he undid his seatbelt and leaned over to her, giving her a hug. “Hey, it’s okay.”

She cried and wanted to scream. Even though they told her days ago, it didn’t really seem like a big deal until right now.
Zack released her and sat back into the driver seat, but took her hand.

She sniffled and wiped her cheeks.
“I’m damaged goods.”

“No, Emily, you’re not damaged goods.”

She looked into his eyes. “I’m broken.”

“
No, you’re not, you’re perfectly fine.”

“No man is ever going to want me.”

Zack shook his head. “That’s ridiculous. And I know at least one that will.”

“You say that now.”

He rolled his eyes. “Emily, I can promise you that you’re going to have a great life. And as long as you want me around, I’m here for you.”

Emily looked over at him. She wanted to say so much, but at the same time
, she didn’t know what to say. So she just started rambling with brutal honesty. “I don’t really know what I’m feeling. I don’t know what to feel. We’ve been on such a ridiculous rollercoaster ride and I just want to get off. I’m tired. But the one thing in all this insanity that stayed the same was that I hated the idea of being away from you. When I first woke up in the hospital, I just wanted to see you. Nothing else mattered.”

He nodded. “I know what you mean. I don’t know if you heard me on that cliff, or understood what I was saying. But I think
—I mean, no—I
know
, I’ve fallen for you. I know that’s probably crazy, and I know this might not be the perfect time to say something like that, but—”

She didn’t let him finish his sentence before she
ripped off her seatbelt, leaned over to the driver seat, and kissed him softly. Emily slid her lips off his and just hugged him closely while nuzzling into his neck. After a few seconds, she sat back into her seat. “I’m sorry. But this aching in my gut, it’s not from the bullet wound. It’s because no one has ever made me feel the way you do. I like to pretend I have it together, but maybe I don’t.”

Zack
touched her arm. “No, trust me, Emily you’re more together than any girl I’ve ever known. And I know exactly how you’re feeling. Maybe it’s the chaos of everything, maybe it’s the pure insanity of it all, but I get it.”

She smiled. He did get it
. He always seemed to just get it.

Chapter 32

After the long ride
, Emily got out of the car and tried not to cry. She looked at the charred rubble that used to be her home. Her father and brother were gone, and so too was the only home she’d ever known. They’d been in this house since she was four years old. It was like her entire life had been erased with a delete key.

Though she wanted to stop them, t
he tears rolled on a river of fresh pain. There seemed to be no end. Zack walked up next to her and put his hand on her back, giving her a little rub of encouragement.

“I just had to see it
,” she said as they walked up the sidewalk, ducking under the police tape. There was almost nothing salvageable, just as her mother had already warned her. But she wanted to walk through it, anyway.

It smelled horrible.
Virtually nothing was recognizable at first, but the longer she looked through the debris, the more things started to appear. She spotted a half-charred piece of molding that used to span the door above the dining room. The silver pen that used to sit by the telephone stand, part of the Canadian flag she’d gotten on her trip to Toronto, the vacuum, a piece of silverware—it was all there and ruined.

A piece of a picture
from their family vacation to Disney World remained. The frame was charred and the picture ruined, but it still hung on what remained of the fireplace. It wasn’t enough to save.

Climbing over some
fallen bricks from the chimney, she came to the back of the house and saw where the entryway to the garage used to be. Then like a single beacon of wonder, something stood perfectly preserved, not by luck, but by the very nature of the object. It was a familiar steel bucket. In it, the white quartz rocks she’d long ago collected from the stream behind the house. She walked over to the bucket and squatted. One stone sat on the floor. It wasn’t going back into the bucket. It was part of this rubble now.

Zack
stood behind her. He didn’t know the story, but he asked her if she wanted him to carry it. She shook her head and picked up the heavy bucket herself. Using all her strength to carry the load while stepping through the debris felt good, and as she got to the rental car, Zack popped the trunk. She needed both hands to get the bucket over the bumper, but she was able to get it into the trunk. Her abdominals burned in agony when she let go. She winced and bent over until the pain subsided after a few seconds. It was going to take some serious work in the gym to rehab those muscles back to where they’d been.

She turned back around and looked at the
wreckage. “I can’t believe it.”

Zack
leaned on the car next to her. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

She
’d lost so much of the past, present, and future. Wiping a tear, she said goodbye to her home and her family as it had existed, one last time. “I’m ready to go.” Just before getting into the car, she looked over at Harry’s house and paused. Something about the fact it still stood really got her angry. If not for the crime scene tape all over the house, she’d bust in there and rip it up. Of course, there’s no point in taking any action like that. It would be a useless exercise in futility and stupidity. She was better than that.

With a calming
deep breath, she slid into the car. Emily grabbed her new phone and logged onto her Facebook account as Zack pulled away from the curb. There was a lot on her feed about the friends she’d lost, or about how others were leaving for college. There were a ton of well-wishes for her from friends and family. But all the run-of-the-mill things seemed so pedestrian. Life was going on for everyone else and that made her sad about where her life was going. She logged out of her account and put the phone away.

Under normal circumstances, she’d be
at school already. Hockey tryouts were still going on for a couple more days. Not only wasn’t she ready, she didn’t even want to go. It seemed so unimportant right now. Maybe she’d feel differently in a few weeks, or months or maybe next year. But there was no way it was happening right now. Her heart just wasn’t in it. “I don’t think I want to go to school anymore.”

“Really?”

She nodded.

Zack
pursed his lips. “There’s no rule that says you have to.”

“I just feel like there’s no way I can go. I know some people might say it
would be good to get back to normal, but I don’t know what normal is anymore. I don’t want people judging me. But I’m also not going to do something that doesn’t feel right. Going to classes, listening to some pedantic professor ramble on about something I couldn’t really care less about—I don’t want it. I don’t know what I want to do with my life anymore.”

“It’s your life, Emily. You’re a
very smart person, you know what’s best.”

She looked at him.
“People would say it’s crazy to give up the chance to go to Yale. Do you think it’s crazy?”

“Who’s to say what crazy is?
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live, ever. No matter what you do. You’ve been through a harrowing experience. Life will never be the same as it was, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Plans change, life changes. If I’ve learned anything, it’s to roll with the punches. Nothing is set in stone except for the words on our graves. So every day before that we have to be ready for anything and adapt accordingly. It’s the trees that can bend in the wind and not break that are able to best weather the storms.”

She nodded and forced a half-smile.
“You’re so smart. I don’t know a lot right now. But I know I want to be with you.”

Zack
sighed. “I want to be with you, too. But please, don’t let that be what steers you away from school or anything. I’ll go wherever you go, if you want me to. You could go to school and we could get a little two-bedroom place near campus. I can help you adapt, whatever you want that makes you comfortable. If you want me to walk away so you can have space or find yourself, or whatever, you just name it. Don’t ever feel you can’t be one hundred percent honest with me.”

She looked over at him. “You’d do that for me?”

He laughed. “Emily, I’d do anything for you. I hope you know that considering what we’ve been through. I know we haven’t known each other very long in terms of actual time, but it’s all relative, I guess.”

She nodded. “We fit a lot of bonding into a
short time.”

“I’d say that’s the
understatement of the century.”

A smiled crept into her lips. “Hospital bonding is pretty powerful.”

He chuckled. “Yes it is.”

“But how come two bedrooms?” She gave him a coy smile.

He flashed his eyes off the road and quickly over to her. “I never assume anything. And I’d never push you into a situation you weren’t ready for. And it’s not because you’ve never lived with a guy before, it’s just common decency. I’d be happy to do it. You’ve been through a lot and having something to count on is the first step to dealing with things. So understand you can count on me for anything.”

It meant a lot to hear him say it. She felt it
while they were out there, but hearing it had another level of certainty. Emily leaned back into the seat as the sun started blasting into the windshield. “Where’re we going?”

“I don’t know. Where do you want to go?”

She shrugged. “Somewhere people don’t know me and don’t care about me.” They had to get up at six in the morning just to come over here and avoid being hounded by the press. The internet was having a field day with their story. It was everywhere. People were calling her mother for exclusives, nonstop. She had to change her cell number. Emily looked out the window. “I want to go somewhere the summer never ends.”

Zack
twisted his lips. “Is that from a movie?”

She shrugged. “I think it’s from a song.”

“I’d say we should go to Virginia Beach but…”

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea.”

“Really?”

She shook her head.
“I won’t let him take anything else away from me.”

“I get that.
But I was thinking somewhere a little more tropical.”

She twisted her lips.
“Like?”

“Like Sanibel Island in
Florida.”

Emily nodded. “Okay. But I’m going to need to go shopping for some clothes, because I don’t have any.”

“That’s doable.”

She looked through the little purse her mother brought her. It had some of the essentials
, including her credit and debit cards. There was plenty of cash in her account to sustain her for a long while.

Chapter 33

Zack
walked around the store wasting time while Emily tried on a few clothes. And by a few he meant a pile the size of a shopping cart. Her plan was to stop at every cool store they passed on the way to Florida and buy a few things. After all, she needed an entire wardrobe, and they had nothing but time. Her mother had bought her a few things while they were in the hospital, but it didn’t constitute an entire wardrobe. It was just a few pairs of under garments and some gym clothes.

He was kind of hoping she’d model the clothes for him as she tried them on
, but no such luck. Some cute brunette was shadowing him though, clearly hoping he’d check her out. She was giving him the quick smile, look away with chasing eyes move. That move used to work on him every time, but not this time. Just a quick smile back at her was all she was getting.

His aversion didn’t seem to dissuade her
, though, and she moved closer to him. Now she was looking at him more intently. And while sliding between a few racks of jeans, she stepped in front of him. “Are you Zack?”

He looked at her a bit more closely. “Do I know you?”

She bit her lip. “Kinda. I’ve seen you on TV. You’re that guy. Right?”

Zack
tried not to give it away. “No, I think you’ve got the wrong person. I keep getting that lately. My name is James.”

She looked suspiciously at him. “Oh, okay.” She touched his shoulder. “Well
, I’m the kinda girl that doesn’t mind much. And I wouldn’t mind much if you wanted to get to know me better.”

Zack
smiled. “I’m flattered, really, but I’m with someone.”

“Oh, yeah?” She glanced around. “I don’t see anyone around here.”

“I’m walking around a woman’s clothing store, and I’m not with my mother.”

She smiled
, but then her face changed. “Okay, handsome. I get it.” She looked past him and turned away.

Zack
turned to see Emily standing behind him. “Hey.”

She smiled.
“Hey. Was someone keeping you company?” Emily watched the girl walk away. “She’s cute.”

Zack
laughed. “I guess you can’t blame a girl for trying.”

Emily stepped back. “What do you think of this?”

Zack took measure of the thin-strapped, mid-thigh, yellow sundress. He frowned. “It looks positively horrible. You need to take it off right now.”

She twisted her lips to the side
. “Ha, keep dreaming. You have to earn that.”

“Wow, what’s a guy gotta do?”

She playfully waved her hand. “I’ll let you know when I think of something.”

He watched her head back into the dressing room. Never in his life had he wanted to be around someone more. It was amazing. The more time they spent together just made him want to spend more time with her
, which didn’t even make sense. If you’re with someone, how can you spend more time with them? But that’s the strangeness he was feeling.

Rick was the only friend he’d ever had
that he could spend every waking moment with and never grow tired or bored with them. He wished Rick were around to meet Emily. The two of them would’ve gotten along well.

The popping noises towards the front of the large store didn’t quite register
, but then he knew exactly what he was hearing. They were gunshots.

People were screaming and running towards the back of the store.
Zack spun around towards the dressing room doors and Emily busted out in her familiar denim shorts and T-shirt. The look on her face said it all. She shook her head in confusion.

How was this happening? They’d lived through that insanity being chased by a psycho only to die in a random act of violence.
Unless it wasn’t so random.

Zack
was happy he had a gun. But it didn’t do him any good right now since it was in the car. Everyone was running past them, so they followed, jumping into the line of the twenty or so people.

More gunshots rang out
, followed by some screams. A bloody and wounded woman took a few steps towards them. Zack turned to help her, but she collapsed a few steps from them.

The light fixture above their heads exploded and rained down glass.
Zack took off, pushing Emily ahead of him. They got to the rear of the store and ran into the stock room, where employees were leading people to a back door. But a few people came running back, saying the back doors were chained from the outside.

Zack
looked around the stock room. Tall shelves stretched all the way to the ceiling. If there was no way out of here to get to the gun, he had to come up with something else. He turned to Emily. “We need to split up.”

“What? No way!”

“I have a gun in the car. I’m going for it.”

“No,
Zack, there’s no way.”

He gave her a kiss. “Trust me.” He pointed to the shelf. “Climb and hide up there.” Without giving her a chance to argue
, he took off out of the stock room, back onto the floor. To his left he saw what he suspected: Harry, dressed in full military fatigues.

Zack
stayed to the right, using the thick clothes as cover. A few steps from the front door he saw what he least expected. The door was latched shut with a chain.

Undaunted
, he picked up a rack of blouses and ran at the thick glass with the aluminum legs pointing the way. He slammed into the glass, shattering the large pane with an explosive sound. Gunshots flew at him, but he ran to the car quickly and started digging through his gym bag.

With the pistol firmly in hand
, he started running back towards the store, full speed. Barely hesitating, he jumped back through the hole he’d already made. More shots and screams rose from the rear of the store and now people were running at him towards the hole he’d made to the outside.

There were two entrances to the stock room. Harry had gone into the right one, so he went into the left one
, where he’d left Emily. Inside the stock room, with the pistol pointing his way, Zack took a gander of the layout.

P
eople saw his gun and ran from him, too. He didn’t see Emily or Harry. Slinking around the tall shelves, he saw another body on the ground. A young girl—she was breathing, awake, and shaking in fear.

Zack
looked up, he saw Emily climbing down the stock racks back towards him. Shots rang out again, puncturing the boxes around her. Zack wanted to return fire, but he had no clear shot and didn’t want to give away the fact he had the gun. He wanted that element of surprise. She dropped the last ten feet and landed next to him.

“Go!” He pushed her to the other aisle
, trying to get her away from the line of fire. Zack stood with his back to the racks, waiting to hear a noise, waiting to get the drop on this guy.

He looked
at Emily. It was scarily silent for a moment, but then he heard Harry laughing a few rows over.

“I know you can hear me
,” Harry said. He laughed again. “You didn’t think I was going to let you off the hook, did you? I always carry out my missions. I’m a soldier and we follow directives until the end. In the course of this mission, the prime directives have changed.” He rapped on something steel, making a clanking noise.

There was a strange clicking noise.
Zack tried to listen to what it was he heard, but he couldn’t figure out the noise. It sounded like a rattlesnake somewhere at the far corner of the room.

From the corner of his eye
, he saw movement, and some of the items on the shelf next to him came busting outward into his face and head. It hit him so hard he nearly stumbled and finally did fall under the weight of some large boxes. When he regained his composure, Harry had a shotgun pointed at his face.

“Get
up and put you’re fucking hands in the air.”

Zack
slowly got to his feet and raised his hands.

“You two must be the luckiest
people on the entire planet. I’m beyond amazed either one of you are still breathing.”

Zack
swallowed the dizzy away a bit. He hoped Emily had seen what he’d done with the gun. She stood close behind him.

Harry used the
shotgun to urge Zack to the side. “Move over, I want to see her.”

Zack
took a step to the side, but stayed close enough.

“Well, well. The perfect little princess. I could’ve killed you on that cliff so easily. One shot to the head, you’d be gone. But I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to do it
in spite of my change in directive.”

Emily sniffled. “Then don’t do it now.”

“We’re so far past that, Emily.” Harry pointed the gun back to Zack. “You, on the other hand, I can’t believe you’re not dead. You’re just lucky a slight cross breeze pulled my sniper rounds from the cliffs. I’m still trying to figure that out—I think maybe an updraft from the highway traffic caused it. I’ll have to calculate that into the shot next time.”

Zack
laughed. “I don’t feel so lucky right now.”

Harry smiled at him. “You’re a funny kid. And you got a lot of guts, I can see why she loves you. And she does, I can see it in her eyes
, the way she looks at you. She looks at you the way my wife used to look at me when we were your age.”

Emily put her hand on the small of his back. He looked back at her.

Harry poked the shotgun into Zack’s chest. “How’d you survive the millhouse shots?”

Zack
shrugged.

“No,” Harry replied, “Tell me now.”

“I found a steel plate on the floor. I stuffed it into my jacket.”

Harry shook his head and smiled. “Wow, you really are brave
; you’d’ve made a great soldier. It’s too bad we’re not on the same side of this fight.”

“We could be.”
Zack turned his palms up.

Harry looked
at Emily. “Just to prove I’m not all monster, I want the last thing for you to hear is her telling you she loves you. Go ahead, Emily, tell him you love him.”

She frowned with hesitation, but
Zack looked back at her and urged her with a nod.

She met
Zack’s eyes. “I love you.”

Harry nudged the gun towards Emily. “Now you tell her.”

Zack looked back. “I love you.”

“There,” Harry said. “
That’s sweet. That’s what love is supposed to be. Young love is how love should always be.” He started to tear up. “But people grow old, they have kids, and those kids grow up and the family grows apart. And then, someone sleeps with your best friend. That’s why it’s better to just put both of you out of your misery now. I’m saving you years of agony, heartache, and tragedy.”

Harry pointed the gun at Emily again. “Maybe I should kill you first. I don’t want you to live through the pain of you seeing your love killed in front of you.
Because I do care for you, Emily, I really do. And if you would have me, I’d throw away my directives. I’d go AWOL for you, Emily. Every soldier has a price.”

Zack
felt Emily put her hand on the gun. Then he said to Harry, “Hey, why not kill us both at the same time. It could be kinda poetic.”

Harry tilted his head.

“Yeah—yeah, just use the pistol on her and the shotgun on me. Unless you’re not man enough to pull that off. I mean, I can understand that takes a lot of coordination and I can see you’re all broken up over that cheating whore of a wife. And you know, having to murder all these innocent people because you’re a pathetic piece of shit and can’t keep your woman satisfied. Because everyone knows, behind every cheating woman is some inattentive asshole who’d rather watch NASCAR than please his lady.”

Zack
could see the rage building in Harry’s eyes, but he didn’t stop. “Oh, did I hit that sore spot there, Dirty Harry? Is that it, you want to be a big tough guy and prove you’re not inadequate in the sack?” Zack laughed.

“You’re dead
. Goodbye.” Harry put the shotgun to Zack’s chest.

The blast was loud
. Zack gasped and didn’t expect to still be standing. But when he opened his eyes, he saw Harry dropping to the floor, a bullet hole in his forehead, and Emily with the smoking gun still in her hands.