Out of My Mind (24 page)

I feel his pain.

I feel her pain.

And I want it to stop.

“Who the hell are you to lecture me about love?” I’m still a little weak, but I straighten anyway. “How could you do that to her?”

“Who, her?”

“Your wife.”

“Get out of here.” He reaches for the door.

“What happened to Brianna?”

He pins me with steely dark eyes. I glance at his firearm. Duh.
He’s not going to shoot me
.

“Your baby. She died, didn’t she?” I push.

He clenches his jaw. “How could you possibly know that?”

“Since my head injury I’ve developed the ability to see into people’s minds. That’s how I know about Greg Hoffman’s plan to set fire to Coop’s Art room.”

“Yeah, right.” He opens the door.

I step around him and close it. Look up at him. “What happened to Brianna?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but the baby rolled onto her stomach.”

“And…?”

“I was supposed to check, before I came to bed and I didn’t. She died…of SIDS.”

The tremor in his voice fills me with incredible pain. For the first time I understand my father a little better.

“Your wife…she doesn’t blame you,” I offer.

“Yeah, right.” He reaches around me and opens the door again.

“I saw it,” I blurt out. “You were sitting in the baby’s room, holding a blue dog. You said you were sorry to the empty crib.”

He shuts the door with a click. “Gee-sus.” He pauses. “You saw that?”

I nod affirmative. “But I never know if I’m seeing the past or the future.”

“That was,” he hesitates. “A few days ago.”

“Well, since no one’s bombed the art room yet, I’m thinking the fire vision is the future. You’ve got to stop Greg.”

Detective Ryan sits down in a chair and runs his hand across his jaw. He seems stunned, but determined to hold it together. “We’ve got J.D. for that.”

“You know he’s innocent.”

“I don’t know anything, except I sure as hell can’t arrest some kid based on your vision.”

“Great, well, this was pointless.” I grab my backpack. “I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t tell anyone about my,” I pause, “condition.”

“I won’t.”

“Can I see J.D.?”

“He’s in holding downtown at the Department of Youth Services. Don’t bother going down there. He refuses to see anyone.”

“Figures.” He was obviously punishing himself, or protecting everyone he cared about, not wanting to taint them by visiting a criminal.

“Has he been charged?” I ask.

“Not yet. They’ll hold him for 72 hours to give us time to make our case. If we find more evidence—”

“You won’t.” I open the door.

“Catherine?” Detective Ryan stands and offers me his business card. “If you think of anything else.”

Is he talking about his wife or J.D.’s innocence? I’m not sure.

“Yeah, okay.” I take his card and book outta there, running into Billy in the lobby.

“Hope you have better luck than I did,” I offer.

Billy nods and heads inside.

I shove the door open in frustration. I just put myself through HULU Hell, did possible damage to my brain—I still haven’t figured out if HULU’s are making my condition worse—and exposed my dangerous secret to a cop.

All for nothing.

Well, that’s not completely true. I have a better understanding of what Dad is feeling after experiencing Detective Ryan’s gut-wrenching pain.

Yet J.D. still sits in jail.

I’m on my own to nail Greg, which means more flirting, more kissing.

Yeah, and lose what’s left of my mind.

I make it through the rest of the week on autopilot, picturing J.D. at the youth facility downtown. I did some research. The penalty for being caught with bomb materials is jail time.

I can’t get J.D. out of jail, but I can keep an eye on Greg. Not fun considering he wants to kiss me every chance he gets. I giggle and say “not in public” and hope I’m not being too much of a tease. He says he’s planning private time for us this weekend. I shoot him a full-cheeked smile but my heart is breaking inside.

My new school slave is Jake Lechner. I wonder what he’s being punished for. He’s done a decent job of writing up my notes, but without pictures it takes me longer to process the information.

The only bright side to all this is that Greg won’t toss the bomb as long as J.D.’s in jail.

Ironic.

When Friday finally comes I’m both relieved and anxious. There’s a party after the game tonight and Greg expects me to be his trophy date.

All I want to do is stretch out on my purple comforter with J.D., laugh with J.D., and kiss J.D.

Instead, I’m getting dressed for the game. I’ve become the Evergreen Cheer mascot, a symbol of sisterhood and perseverance.

Inside I’m a fraud.

I kiss my cat, Peanut, and grab my purse. It’s going to be loud tonight. We’re playing Skyline High School, our biggest rival.

A car honks outside. Taylor and friends are here to pick me up. I head downstairs, spotting Dad in the living room reading a magazine. I whip open the front door and hesitate because, well, I need to say something to Dad. I motion to my friends to give me one minute and head back to the living room.

Dad must sense me in the doorway because he looks up.

“I’m sorry,” I offer.

“For what?”

I shrug. “Being irresponsible, I guess.”

“You’re not—”

“Dad, I was dancing in the street when the car hit me. It was an accident and accidents are going to happen. Hopefully not as bad as this one, but they’ll happen again.” I sit next to him and kiss his cheek. “You can’t protect me all the time. But I appreciate you wanting to.”

I start to get up, and he grabs me for a hug. I shove back Detective Ryan’s pain, fearing an emotional meltdown. Dad would never let me leave the house if I randomly burst into tears.

On cue, a car honks.

“Gotta go.” I get up and head for the door.

“Have fun.”

“Thanks.” I rush outside into the cool night.

A huge weight has been lifted off my heart. I’ve made a bit of peace with my father. Maybe I’ve even helped him let go of some of his own guilt.

The back door to Clarisse’s Jeep opens and Andrea motions me inside. “You excited?” she squeaks.

“Totally.” I get into the Jeep.

“We’re gonna kick ass tonight,” Taylor says from the front seat as Clarisse pulls away.

I’d like to kick Greg’s ass clear across the state.

They crank “One More Night” by Maroon 5 and I choke back tears. I’d give anything to have one more night with J.D.

* * *

We win the football game twenty to seven and the crowd goes nuts. Someone grabs my arm and spins me around.

Greg kisses me, long and hard. It’s not a loving gesture, but a claiming kiss, as if to tell the world I belong to him. Why does he even want me? He doesn’t know me, doesn’t know the real Cat Westfield.

I push him away and joke, “Easy there. We don’t want to get arrested.”

“Speaking of arrested, what’s
he
doing here?” Taylor says, with a disapproving frown.

I glance at the bleachers and my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. J.D. is standing there, tall and handsome, his hair falling across his forehead…

Glaring at me.

Of course he is. He just saw me kiss Greg and pretend to like it. His pained expression rips through me like a scalpel through skin.

Not only is J.D. going to blow this way out of proportion and believe what he just saw was real, but now Greg can toss a bomb and blame it on J.D. because he’s no longer in jail.

“What are you looking at, creep?” Greg taunts.

J.D. shoves his hands into his jacket pockets and walks away, taking a piece of my heart with him.

Gotta deal with that later. Right now I have to calm Greg down so he doesn’t follow through with his plan.

“How did he get out of jail?” I ask to no one in particular.

“His little brother,” Clarisse says.

The four of us glance at her.

“The stuff they found in the garage was part of an extra credit assignment for science. You know, the one where you mix three liquids that are supposed to separate when they settle?”

“I don’t believe it,” Taylor says.

Clarisse shrugs. “That’s what he said.”

I smile and shake my head.
Way to go, Billy.

“What are you smiling at?” Taylor asks. Greg studies me.

Ooops.

“Some people,” I shake my head, “are born with a golden horseshoe up their ass.”

Everyone cracks up and I hide my warring emotions behind a broad smile. J.D. is out of jail, which fills my heart with relief. Relief smothered by dread since it gives Greg the opportunity to torch something and pin it on J.D.

I consider spending the night with Greg to make sure he doesn’t carry out his plan. A shudder crawls down my spine.

Better idea: at the post-game party I’ll slip a few Norco into his beer. Nothing like a little Codeine to knock you out. The thought bothers me, but a burning school bothers me more.

“We’ll meet you at Bobby’s house,” Taylor says to Greg. She tugs on my arm so I guess I’m expected to go with her.

“You’d better be there,” Greg points at me.

The coach calls to him from the edge of the field. I hope I’m not completely blowing it by letting Greg out of my sight. But he’ll be with teammates, and then meet me at the party where I’ll drug him.

I should feel badly about what I’m about to do, but I’d feel worse if I ignored my HULU and people got hurt.

It was time to accept my ability, embrace it, maybe even accept myself. Something I’ve learned from J.D.

I wonder if he’ll ever speak to me again.

* * *

An hour and a half later we pull up to Bobby McDonald’s house in Clarisse’s Jeep. Driving seems to be her new role in the group. I wonder if it’s because it makes Taylor feel important to be chauffeured around, or if she’s afraid to drive after almost hitting me. We’ve never talked about that night. She’s never apologized.

Bobby’s house is already rockin’. I’m guessing his parents are out of town.

I glance up and down the street for Greg’s car or any sign of J.D. But he wouldn’t risk coming to a party where he’ll be abused. We pile out of the car and start for the house. My phone vibrates with a text:
Bushes by car.

It’s J.D.’s number. I bite back a squeal of joy.

“Wait, I forgot something in the car,” I say.

Clarisse hits the unlock button. “We’ll meet you inside.”

I practically float to the car, unable to control my excitement. I pretend to look in the back seat for something, and glance at the house. The girls disappear inside and I lock the door, just as J.D. grabs my hand.

He pulls me into the bushes. “Why did you do that?”

“Nice to see you too.”

“You told Detective Ryan about your HULU’s?”

“He told you?”

“He figured I already knew.”

“I thought I could help,” I explain.

“Don’t ever do that again.”

“You’re welcome.”

Angry, I turn to leave but he won’t let go of my hand.

“You shouldn’t put yourself at risk for me. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you.”

“Why? Because you care about me? You are so full of it. You’re not acting like you care—”

He stops my rant with a kiss. Works for me. I’ve missed these lips, these arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me close.

I can’t get close enough.

I could stay here all night but I know the girls will come looking for me. Greg will come looking for me.

I break the kiss. “They’re waiting for me inside.”

J.D. steps back and eyes my outfit. I’m wearing a short skirt, snug top and my moonstone choker.

“What are you planning to do?” he asks.

“Stay close, maybe jump into a Greg HULU to figure out how to stop him.”

“No, don’t go there.” His eyes widen with worry. “Cat, please?”

“Stop, okay? I’m a big girl.” I push away from him and head for the house. If I look into his amazing eyes for one more minute, I might change my mind and take off with J.D.

I can’t walk away from my responsibilities.

“Catherine,” he calls after me.

I ignore him and glance both ways before crossing the street. I blink back tears. I don’t want to leave J.D.

I never want to leave him.

I march toward the house, anxious to drug Greg and get this night over with. I glance up and spot Greg looming on the front porch. Shit.

“What the hell did he do to you?” Greg accuses.

J.D. watched her race into Hoffman’s arms and hug him.

Tight. Like she was never letting go.

Greg glared at J.D. who’d stepped out of the bushes to try and talk some sense into Catherine.

J.D. was so damned tired of hiding.

With a shake of his head he walked away, pissed as hell that she wouldn’t listen to him and kept putting herself in danger.

For him.

Maybe her judgment
was
seriously messed up from the accident. He didn’t know anymore. Was she playing him? Playing both of them? That seemed easier to believe than the alternative: she was putting herself at risk because…

She loved him
.

He still didn’t know what to do with that. It scared the hell out of him.

And Cat deserved so much better.

He glanced up at the dark sky dotted with stars. Only a coward would leave her there, defenseless against a bastard like Hoffman.

Figuring he had about an hour before Detective Ryan came looking for him, J.D. decided to crash the party and convince her to leave. He had to protect Cat, make sure that bastard didn’t take advantage of her. The thought of Hoffman touching her was worse than any beating from Dad.

J.D. still couldn’t believe she confessed her ability to Detective Ryan and exposed her secret.

For J.D.

A prickling sensation started at the base of his neck. It was the same feeling he got just before Dad came at him with a wooden spatula, or belt. He glanced over his shoulder, but didn’t see anyone.