Out of Darkness (14 page)

M
eredith ran her hands through her hair as she surveyed the amount of stuff they’d stacked into an empty room at the clubhouse. It was a lot more than she had originally anticipated. To say she didn’t know where to start would be a huge understatement.

“This is the last of it,” Tyler said as he brought in a drawer that went in her desk. “More than you thought?” he asked as he noticed the panicked look on her face.

“Yeah, is it that obvious?” she bit her thumbnail as she asked that question.

“You look a little overwhelmed.”

He had a seat on one of the boxes and pulled her over to him so that she stood in between his legs. “Is that all that’s goin’ on here? What did you want to talk to me about earlier?”

She sighed as she had a seat on his leg and wrapped her arms around his neck. For a moment, she buried her face in his neck. He became alarmed when he felt wetness there.

“Hey, hey,” he pulled her away and cupped her cheeks. “What’s really going on?” he used his thumbs to wipe at the tears streaming down her face. She gulped in breaths of air trying to calm herself down. “What the hell’s got you so upset?”

“I think Denise is pregnant,” she whispered.

He was confused. What did this have to do with her? “You’re gonna have to explain what’s goin’ through your head because, baby, I definitely am not a mind reader today.”

“I’m a horrible, horrible person because I’m jealous.”

That threw him. They hadn’t even had sex, much less talked about kids, but that statement made him sit up straighter. “Why are you jealous?”

“I want kids someday, but what if because of what happened to me I can’t ever bring myself to get there.”

“What do you mean?”

She hated this. There was not one part of her that wanted to voice this fear she had to Tyler. Not one part. “What if I can never have sex again?”

He laughed. Straight up belly laughed. “That’s what you’re worried about? Haven’t you been in my arms the last couple of nights? Haven’t you thought about having sex with me? Weren’t there a few times that we had to stop each other? You will overcome this fear. You’re too passionate not to. I’m not pressuring you am I?” He was horrified at the thought. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

“No, not at all. You’ve been more than patient with me. But what if I can’t ever get past it? I want kids, you may want kids.”

His heart swelled. She was talking about a future involving the both of them, not two separate beings. “We could always adopt. You forget I’m an orphan.”

She slapped her hand over her mouth. She
had
forgotten. This man who offered her so much love and affection had started out in life with none given to him. “I’m so sorry Tyler.”

“Don’t be. I didn’t tell you that to make you feel sorry for me. I’m just giving you other options. Can I share something with you?”

Meredith wanted to know everything that this man wanted to tell her. There was not one part of him that she didn’t want to know. “Please, share everything with me.”

“For the first two months of my life, I didn’t have a name. My name was John Doe. My first birth certificate actually says John Doe. It wasn’t until an older Native American couple took me in as foster parents that I got a name. They gave me their family last name. I have no idea who either of my real parents are. But I came into this world as a John Doe.”

That hurt her so much. How could someone do that to a child? How could someone nurture that child in their belly for nine months and then leave him alone to face the world? “How come you didn’t stay with them?”

“They couldn’t afford me. They already had the maximum amount of children they could afford. From what I hear, they tried hard and I was with them for a long time. My first memories of childhood are with that couple. That house I took you to? It was theirs. I bought it when they died a few years ago. That’s why I love it so much.”

She grappled with all the information he had given her. The strong man who hardly ever revealed anything about himself had dropped two bombs on her in a short amount of time. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

“I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to. What I’m trying to say about all this though is that there are options. I’m not leaving you no matter what you can or can’t do. So if you can never get there, I’ll be fine. I’m committed to you and I think you’re committed to me.”

“I am.”

“Have you talked to Doc Jones about this?”

“I have. That’s where she came up with the idea of masturbation to try and get me there. I don’t know why I’m freaking out about this so much. Life is going to move on whether I’m ready or not.”

He caressed her neck and placed a soft kiss on her temple. “That’s right, it is going to and none of us know where it’s going, Meredith. The only thing we can do is hang on and make the best decisions for us. What say we just live and see where it takes us? We have no plans. We’re just two people trying to make the best of situations that were given to us. As long as we live, nothing else can be asked of us.”

She took a moment to think about what he had just said. He was right. She was getting all worked up again over things that were so far out of her control they might as well be in another universe. Calmed down, she took a deep breath. “You’re right, as always.”

“What was that? I think I heard you say I was right?”

She giggled and pushed his shoulder. “You know that you’re wise, I don’t need to stroke your ego anymore.”

Wanting to put a little bit of playfulness into what had become a very serious discussion, he winked. “I got something else you can stroke.”

She pushed herself off his knee. “Tyler Blackfoot! You behave.”

“You’re the one who asked if we could continue our little interlude later, but that’s okay, I can take a rain check if you can.”

She flounced out of the room, slinging her hair back as she got to the door. Turning, she stared at him over her shoulder and gave him a look before crooking her finger at him. “I don’t think I can.”

For a six foot three inch man, he was extremely agile and had made his way to her in just a few steps. Picking her up, he threw her over his shoulder and made his way to his dorm room.

“I knew you couldn’t resist me,” he teased her as he shut the door. “I’m just way too sexy.”

Chapter Nineteen

“I
’m so glad you’re here,” Denise welcomed Meredith into the hospital room she still occupied.

Meredith waved, trying to be quiet as she saw Liam curled up in the corner on a pulled out cot. “Should I come back later?” she whispered, pointing at Liam.

“Nah, I’m up,” he sat up, yawning as he ran his hands over his eyes. “Did Tyler bring you?”

“Yeah, he’s downstairs grabbing some coffee. He told me to let you know if you were awake, you could come join. I think he was gonna go get some breakfast at Donna’s.”

“Oh, I am all over that. This hospital food sucks donkey balls. You don’t mind do you?” he asked her as he sat up, straightening his clothes out.

“Sure don’t.”

“You’ll be good?” Liam asked, turning to face Denise.

“I’ll be fine. I told you that you could go home last night. Remember?”

Meredith watched as they argued good-naturedly.

“I am not leaving you up here in this place by yourself. Don’t even ask me to do that again. I thought we settled that.”

“We did,” she grumbled.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I have my cell if you need me.”

Denise did her best not to roll her eyes. “Meredith is here. I am going to be fine. Now go!”

The two women watched as he exited the room. When the door shut, Denise growled. “He is driving me absolutely insane.”

Meredith couldn’t help but laugh. “He loves you, he’s just worried.”

“I know, I know. My hormones are just out of control.”

They lapsed into a comfortable silence. “So how far along are you?” Meredith asked quietly.

“Five weeks. Are you mad? Because that’s the last thing I want.” Denise scrunched up her nose and twisted her fingers together.

“Not at all. Please don’t ever think I was mad at
you
. It was myself I was mad at, and after talking to Tyler, I realize how stupid I was being. I am so
happy
for you and Liam.”

“You don’t know how happy I am to hear that. You’ve become my best friend, and I didn’t want to hurt you in any way. That day we talked about this, I never realized how hurt your feelings would be, and I realized how insensitive I was being.”

Meredith stopped her as she held a hand up. “No, I was being insensitive. Just because something awful happened to me doesn’t give me the right to be a bitch to all others around me. I was being selfish and I’m sorry. I am genuinely so happy for you two. What’s going on with you being in here though? Is everything okay?”

A huge weight felt like it had been lifted off of the friends, they were no longer tiptoeing around one another. Meredith scooted her chair all the way up to the bed so that they could converse without having so much distance.

“I had horrible morning sickness with the twins, but I figured it was just because there were two of them. Apparently, I’m one of the lucky women who just has a hard time with morning sickness. They did an ultrasound yesterday, and there is only one baby and I think I’m sicker now than I ever was with twins.”

Meredith grimaced. “I’m so sorry. Can they do anything for you?”

“They have me on some anti-nausea medication and they are pumping fluids into me because I was dehydrated. There’s a pill I can take that might help, but it’s not always the case with every pregnant woman. We’ll just have to see I guess. They were just worried about me being so dehydrated. Thank you for making me come to the hospital when you did by the way.”

“That’s what friends are for. I knew you looked bad and I knew you would never tell someone that you needed to. I just made an executive decision.”

They gossiped for a little while before Denise asked about her getting her stuff out of storage. “How did that go?”

“Alright I guess. I haven’t had a chance to go through it all. I was going to last night, but I got busy,” she muttered, her cheeks flushing a bright red.

“Got busy doing what? Or should I say who?”

“It wasn’t exactly like that, but I can say we’re moving closer to a normal relationship.”

Denise smiled brightly. “Do you know how thrilled I am to hear that? I think most women that even see Tyler Blackfoot fall just a little bit in love with him. You are one lucky woman.”

Meredith giggled. “We both are really. Our men are hot.”

“That they are,” Denise agreed, laughing along as the door opened and the two men appeared.

“It’s never good when we walk in and they’re both giggling.” Liam said, walking over to the cot and having a seat. He patted his belly and sighed deeply.

“Did you eat?” Denise asked, completely ignoring his statement.

“I did and it was glorious. Bacon, eggs, sausage, and home fries. Damn, that woman can cook.”

“My mouth just watered, but I know if I could smell it, I would be back in the bathroom upchucking,” Denise groused.

“Congrats by the way,” Tyler said from the doorway.