Our Chance (20 page)

“She needs food so after not drinking the herbal tea we’ll come down for breakfast. After that we’ll probably see off the people that are leaving today and spend the rest of the time in bed.”

“Sounds very similar to my plan.”

I ordered three coffees and a herbal tea for Chloe to pour away and we went back.

“Any developments with Nell?” He asked, pressing the button in the lift for our floor.

“Who knows? Things between us are changing and I know she feels it too but what she’ll do about it is anyone’s guess.”

“She’ll get there.”

I hoped so. The lift stopped and the doors slid open. “See you later, man, if we can still walk after today,” I said, winking.

He scoffed. “Twenty quid I have more sex than you.”

“Oh it’s on, brother!” I said, backing out of the lift and watching a smug looking Logan walk the opposite end of the corridor to his room.

I opened the door and put the coffee down on the bedside table. Nell was fully under the cover but she pulled it down enough to reveal her eyes. “Coffee. Oh God, coffee, I love you.”

Of course, the coffee she loved. Fucking woman.

“Drink up, I’m calling room service for breakfast and then we’re spending the whole day fucking.”

Cocking her eyebrow, she replied, “Are we now?”

“Logan thinks he and Chloe can do it more.”

She sat up, winced and reached for the coffee. “I’m going to need pain killers. Get ordering and then get naked.”

Fuck, I loved her.

Nell and I spent all day in bed, ordering food to the room when we needed it. After the first time it stopped being about beating Chloe and Logan and became about us. We were free of expectations and the looks of people that assumed we’d announce we were exclusive soon.

We didn’t have to do anything but whatever the hell we wanted. The sun was setting and we kept the curtains open, watching the sky darken. Neither one of us was dressed but the quilt was pulled up to my waist and, unfortunately, just above Nell’s chest.

“Five years time where will you be?” I asked.

She took a second, licked the ice cream off the spoon and said, “New York working for some super huge and super powerful company that I helped to turn around. I’ll have a flat…or
apartment
that overlooks Central Park and drink cocktails after work every night.”

I could see her doing all of that. “Dreaming big.”

“Only way to do it. What’s the point in aiming low?”

“Hey, I’m with you there. Room for me in your suitcase?”

“Want to conquer the advertising world in America?”

“I’d planned on the world but America is a good start, I suppose.”

She sighed. “I doubt I’ll ever get to New York.”

“Not with that attitude. Where did that come from anyway?”

“I’m not saying I wouldn’t smash it just that I couldn’t not have quick and easy access to Cadburys, and I think getting blank looks when I use the words bellend, tosser and wanker would piss me off.”

Laughing, I leant over and kissed the side of her head. “Fair point.”

“What about you? Five years?”

“Mansion. Inside pool. Ten car garage.”

“You’re such a guy.”

“Yes.”

I had hoped that she’d mention something about wanting to be with someone – me – by five years time or engaged by then. Not Nell. But that was probably because in her head she’d still be single in five years. What would it take to get through to her?

“Ten years?” She asked. “You know, when you’re old and past it.”

“Ah, well I’ll still have the mansion, cars and pool but I’ll be sharing it with a woman that’ll keep me young.”

She turned her nose up. “You’re disgusting. You’re going to be one of those old men with really young wives, aren’t you?”

“Tempting but perhaps a little too cliché.”

“Cougar?”

“Why do I either have to have a child bride or a granny?”

“Because someone your own age isn’t funny.”

“Thanks. What about you? Sugar daddy?”
Me!

“I don’t do marriage or any of that shit.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. Biting my lip, I looked away. There was nothing I could do to make her want more, want me, and nothing I’d want to do. It hurt. I swallowed the sting and looked over.

“Lay down.”

“I am laying down?” She said.

“Lay down more.”

“Why?”

“Jesus, Nell, just lay the fuck down!”

She was so infuriating sometimes. If she was lying naked next to me I’d do just about anything she asked with no question.

Giggling, she put the ice cream on the bedside table, shoved the quilt off her body and pushed herself down on the bed so she was laying flat.

“Alright, do your worst.”

I was momentarily stunned at her beauty. Her long jet-black hair was splayed out on the pillow. Full breasts sat pert on her chest leading down to a slender, toned waist. Hipbones peeked out in the sexiest way. The gap between her legs sent my heart wild and the miles and miles of legs begged to be wrapped around my shoulders.

“Nell…” I groaned.

Fluttering her eyelashes she trailed her fingers up her stomach and around the swell of her breasts. “Yes, Damon?”

Her face looked innocent but her actions were anything but.

I loved her. I loved her so damn much I didn’t care that it was going to rip me apart one day.

Nell

Damon slept beside me with one arm slung over my waist. He was gorgeous and exceptionally so when he was sleeping. I ran my hand through his hair and bit my lip.

The sex last night was different. Amazing and scary different. It meant…something. It was painfully perfect.

His eyes flicked from side to side under his eyelids as if he was dreaming. I wanted to kiss them but I didn’t want to wake him, not yet. Just watching him made my heart race. I could feel it, hear it, going crazy in my chest. My breath caught in my throat. The feelings I felt were overwhelming and a tear escaped, rolling down my cheek.

No!
I loved him. I’d gone and bloody fallen in love with him. Chloe was right. Pressing my face into the pillow, I cried silently because loving him was the most incredible thing in the world and that
hurt
. I wanted to shout and scream at how unfair it all was but that’d get me nowhere.

Turning over, I wiped my eyes and stared up at the ceiling. The lump in my throat felt like it was the size of a watermelon. I had so many conflicting feelings that I wasn’t one hundred per cent sure what to even think. I tried not to move as I cried. I didn’t want Damon to feel the movement through the mattress and wake up, but I didn’t want to rush to the bathroom in case that woke him too and he saw me. It was so overwhelming.

Pull. Yourself. Together.

I wiped my eyes a few times and took a deep breath. Everything was going to be alright. I could do this. I could be in love with him and not have it change anything.

Damon sighed and his eyes fluttered open. “Hey,” he said, a grin breaking out across his sleepy face.

Gulping, I replied, “Hi.” His smile gave me so much. I wanted him to be happy; I only ever wanted to see that smile. A tidal wave hit me again and I wanted to kiss him until I couldn’t breathe, to tell him how much I cared for him.

I tried to focus on what Chloe had said about not being too hard on myself. Everyone had hang-ups and issues. I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t a bad person because I couldn’t do something others did so easily. So why did I feel so fucking awful about it?

“Sleep well?” I asked.

Something was different with him. He’d always looked at me like he wanted to devour me but that look had a tenderness to it now too. The air felt thick and heavy so I tried to keep things between us light.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “You?”

Best sleep ever. I’d never felt so safe and well rested. “Yep. Want me to take advantage of you in your sleepy state before we go down for breakfast? We have an hour before they stop serving.”

A slow lopsided smile pulled at his lips. “Not going to say no to that.” I rolled him onto his back and kissed him long and deep.

It was our last day in Scotland, neither of us had a hangover so we were going to explore a little.

His breath tickled my neck as he brushed his head against mine. “Hurry up,” he said. “I’m hungry.”

“You can’t be.”

“I can. I’ve been burning a lot more energy than usual and I’m going to need a truck load more for tonight.”

Tonight was our last night; tomorrow morning we were driving home and would be back to separate beds and booty calls. It sounded horrible but it was exactly what I needed to get things back on track with our boundaries firmly back in place.

I turned around in his arms. “Yeah, what’re you doing tonight?”

The look he gave me – all wild and wanting – told me exactly what
we
were doing tonight.

“Really?” I said, arching my eyebrow.

“Oh, really,” he replied. “Hurry up and take some bloody pictures, we’re stuffing our faces in five minutes and then I’m taking you back to the hotel.”

I was absolutely not going to argue with that. Snapping a few pictures, I shoved my phone in my pocket and took his hand.

Damon, not one to break his word, kept me in the bed all day. I managed to pry him off me long enough to meet Chloe and Logan for dinner and then it was back upstairs. I think he knew this was it, all too soon we’d be back to reality and things would be different between us again. The last few days had been incredible and I wished they didn’t have to end but they did and for the next eleven hours we made every second count.

I woke up with a heavy heart and the desire to block out stupid reality and stay in Scotland where we could pretend our closeness was purely because we were on holiday. We packed in silence and checked out in silence. Physically there was no distance, but no matter how close I stood to him I felt like we were on different continents.

The shittiest part was I didn’t know if I could ever get past not wanting anything serious. I had no idea if I would ever feel such peace again.

I was so sad to leave Scotland. The wedding had been amazing and spending so much time with Damon was more than I could have ever expected. We got along so well, I fell in love, and now I was scared that something would come along and ruin what we had when we got home. Or
someone
would. He deserved to have everything he wanted. He wanted something real eventually.

Chloe and Logan still had a few more days before they were flying off to Italy for a fortnight. Most of the wedding guests had already left and now me and Damon were packing up the car ready to head home.

“I don’t want to leave,” I said, pouting at him.

Leaning over and chuckling, he tried to bite my lip but I managed to arch my back away from him before he could reach.

“We could stay. I wouldn’t mind having you to myself for longer.”

“Appealing,” I said, straightening my back and giving him a kiss. So unbelievably appealing it hurt to think we couldn’t do it. “But I have to be get back to work and there are things I need to do first.”

“What things?” He asked, clamping me in his arms.

My heart raced as I fitted against him in the best way. He was comfort and I was getting greedy. “Seeing my mum, seeing my dad, sorting out all the clothes from this weekend, redecorating my bedroom.”