Only You (A Sweet Torment Novel) (24 page)

I nodded and between the two pieces of paper, I felt a little less alone. When Regan left, I sat on the bed, put my fingers into the origami, and asked it the one question that had been on my mind.

“Does Leo love me?”

I counted through the steps and arrived at the answer. Problem was, I couldn’t bring myself to read it.

Chapter Twenty-Six

I
woke up to a loud, booming knock on the front door. After Regan left the night before, I binged on junk food and reality TV and asked the fortune-teller several questions about my future. All of which didn’t look promising. In the end, I still felt like shit.

I got up and smoothed my shirt down, which was pointless, and tried to tame my hair. But between the lack of a hair tie and pulling a Cheeto out of one of the tangles, I didn’t think anything could subdue the red swamp I was currently rocking.

And in that moment, I didn’t really care.

I opened the door, ready to tell housekeeping I had plenty of towels when my face drained of all blood.

Leo.

He looked me over with a wild, relieved look. One I only saw for a moment because then his brows sliced down and he said, “What the fuck, Paige?”

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into his arms for a hug, then jerked me back again only to look at me once more. It was like he’d been . . . worried. About me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“I couldn’t find you, didn’t know where you went. I called Roman and he said you were coming back to the states, but no one would tell me where you were.” Something tortured crossed his face and I felt a ping of guilt. Leo had been scared? For me? “I finally got it out of Hazel where you were staying.” He shook his head. “Why did you leave, Paige?”

“Ah, you told me to.”

“Bullshit!” He squeezed me harder and something that looked like tears lined his lower lashes. “I never told you to leave. I was mad. Confused . . .”

“You didn’t believe me,” I whispered, those same stupid tears creeping up. Seeing Leo was too much. Too hard. From the way his eyes seared me to his smell, I couldn’t handle him being this close. Because all it made me want was more. More of him. Forever. And that wasn’t happening.

“I fucked up, Paige. I didn’t know what to believe. I’m sorry.”

I shook my head. I had kept things from him, but it hurt. “I trusted you, Leo.”

“I know, angel. I’m so sorry. When I saw Colin and the report and everything snowballed, I just thought—”

“Thought the worst of me,” I muttered.

“No.” He cupped my face. “I thought I was losing you.” Tears trailed down my cheeks, hitting his thumbs. “I can’t explain. It just felt like you were slipping away, that everything we’d had was too good. For months I’d been fighting myself. I knew from the beginning I didn’t deserve you and when everything happened at the meeting, I just lost it.”

“Wait,” I gasped. “You think I’m too good for you?”

He smiled. “You’re perfect, angel. From the moment I met you, I knew. And I’ll make it up to you, if you let me. Prove to you I’m worthy.” He pulled a folded piece of paper from his back pocket and handed it to me. “Here.”

“What’s this?” I asked, taking the paper. Water lined my eyes as I unfolded the document and realized there were two letters.

“This one here”—he pointed to his extensive resume, the stated objective being
to win Paige Levine’s heart
—“is pretty persuasive on why you should give me another chance.” He smiled a little. “I will forever put your needs first”—his finger slid to the top—“and here you’ll see I hold the record for highest jump in a bouncy castle.” I laughed, and Leo went on, “But this letter is the one I really want you to see.” He gently grabbed the second piece of paper and placed it on top so I could read it.

It was my letter of recommendation.

My lips parted on a strangled breath when I realized what he’d written.

Sentence after sentence of all the things he loved about me.

“Paige Levine, you are the strongest, smartest, most incredibly fierce woman I’ve ever known. You don’t need my recommendation, angel. You’re beyond anything I could ever hope to measure up to.”

I laughed and sobbed at the same time. The tears crashed even harder. This whole time I’d felt I didn’t fit into Leo’s world, and he had been thinking the same about me. Only he thought the best of me.

“You believe me then?”

Leo nodded. “I do. I found out that Colin set up everything. He used you to get to me. Kyros admitted he’d accidentally let word about the slip . . . slip.” Leo’s charming smile was almost enough to make me forget the heartache pulsing in my chest. Almost.

“I don’t know if things can go back, Leo.”

“I don’t want them to go back. I want them to go forward. Us. Together.”

I shook my head. “There’s so much between us. What you want and what I can give you are two different things.”

“It doesn’t matter. I want you. That’s it.”

“You want a family.”

He nodded and pulled me closer. “I want you to be my family.”

Guilt and sadness raced through me because I never wanted Leo to resent me. Now or later. “I don’t think I’ll be enough for you.”

“Yes you are, damn it. I love you.” Something like honest-to-God pain came over his face. “I didn’t want to, but I do, so much. I know better. I know what it feels like to put your trust into someone and they break it. When I realized you were gone, I knew how badly I messed up.” He placed his forehead against mine and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

My chin quivered and those tears came crashing again. “You make me weak.”

He nodded. “You make me weak too.”

“I don’t like it,” I said. “This was supposed to be temporary.”

“We were meant for many things, Red. Temporary isn’t one of them.”

“What about your deal?”

He smiled. “Are you always thinking about work?”

“Well”—I shrugged and wiped my eyes—“we worked hard on that. Did you get the slip?”

He nodded. “Colin didn’t have the funds to back up his mouth. By the end of the meeting, Jes was begging me to buy.”

“I’m happy for you, Leo.”

“Don’t be yet. There’s one big condition first.”

“What’s that?”

“I told Jes and Zander that you and I were a team. If he wants to do business with me, he has to do business with you. And you have to be okay with this.”

“You . . . you want me?”

He nodded. “Forever, Paige. Whatever team you’re on is where I want to be.”

“But what about the stories? My reputation?”

“I know who you are. And I swear I’ll never lose sight of that again.”

I smiled and, holding the letter of recommendation I had worked for, kissed him so hard I felt his smile against my mouth. “I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you too.”

Epilogue

H
ave you seen the revenue report this quarter?” I asked, walking into Leo’s—our—bedroom. “With the added route to London and the new slip, we’re doubling not only in profit but—”

“Calm down, Red. It’s almost midnight. And work is over, time for play.” He winked and pulled me onto the bed.

Cathy, Leo’s assistant, came back a few months ago, gushing about her newly born son and showing a ton of pictures. She took over her old job and Leo made me his project manager.

It was the best job in the world. I got to oversee certain events and deals and felt part of the team. I was also lead planner on Lyssa’s seventh birthday. Though it was still a ways off, she’d put in the request for my services and this time, I wouldn’t disappoint. I’d never been happier.

“Did you see the picture Cathy brought in of Sammy? The one where he’s eating baby food for the first time?”

Leo nodded and kissed down my neck. “Cute kid.”

I looked at the ceiling. “Yeah.” And for the first time, I meant it.

I’d never loved the idea of motherhood, mostly because I didn’t think I was built that way, but Leo made me feel lots of things, including capable. Having a person running around that was half him and half me seemed so . . . amazing.

“Are you ever going to tell your friends we’re getting married?” Leo said.

I glanced at the engagement ring on my finger. “Soon.”

He looked at me. “What’s wrong, Red? You’re obviously thinking about something.”

I nodded. “I was thinking about kids.”

“Oh.” Then he cursed. “Did my mom say something to you? Don’t let her make you feel bad. I just want you. I don’t need—”

“Will you shut up?” I smiled and kissed him.

Leo was so amazing that even knowing my stance on no kids, he still proposed to me. Saying something about
as long as he had me he had it all
and all things romantic. But I knew how important a family was to him and honestly, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted a baby. His baby.

I pushed him on his back, tugged his pants down, got naked in two seconds flat, and straddled him.

“I like where this is going.” He smiled.

When I sank down on him, taking him all the way to the hilt, he hissed, then his eyes met mine. “Condom.”

I shook my head.

“But you’re not on the pill.”

“I know.” I rose up, then down again and we moaned in unison. “If you want me to stop, I will. I know this is crazy. Timing isn’t perfect, but I love you, Leo. I want . . .”

He cupped my face. “What do you want?”

“A family.”

He sat up and kissed me hard. “You sure?”

I nodded, tears lining my eyes because when it came to Leo, I’d never been more sure about anything.

“I love you so much,” I said.

He gently moved inside of me, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world. I had Leo, he was every bit a part of me as my heart, and for the first time, I was confident in the unknown. The future. All I knew was that if it was with him, it would be amazing.

Our
never
was turning into a
never-ever
after all.

Acknowledgments

Thank you, Maria, for being an amazing editor and for all your hard work! Thanks to the author team for all that you do! Thank you, Lindsay, for your wonderful developmental awesomeness! Thank you so much to Jill Marsal for being genuinely wonderful. Thank you so much to my amazing critique partner to whom I owe my sanity. Thank you to my family and friends for your never-ending support.

About the Author

Joya Ryan is the author of the Shattered series, which includes bestseller
Break Me Slowly
. She loves to cook and is a terrible dancer, though that doesn’t keep her off the dance floor. Currently, she lives in California with her husband and two young sons.