Only One (25 page)

Cole

I had more adjectives that I’d been calling myself over the last few weeks than I cared to admit. Mama texted me for the hundredth time yesterday, and even Aunt Ashton left a very long voicemail venting her anger at me. Although, quite honestly, she had remained relatively calm and was the one who had handed out the best advice months ago.

Annabelle had managed to reach right into my chest and break my heart in half again. When Dane had called me and told me I was going to be a daddy, I’d dropped the phone. As scared as I was, and as unready as I was there was, one thing I knew—it was my way back to Annabelle. But then even with the baby on the way she’d turned me down. And I couldn’t bear to do it anymore. There was only so much rejection that I could take from her. Only so much pain I could allow myself to go through in one lifetime.

I called Mama every night for updates, but there weren’t a whole lot. So I’d pretended I wasn’t interested and she’d started feeding the information to me without thinking. That was how I found out that Belly tried to get rid of my baby, but something had changed her mind—thankfully. Something had changed in mine, too, after weeks of not knowing what was right for her or for me. I didn’t know what to do to make it better, to get her to finally stop and look at me, to realize that I loved her. And the love I had for her was the forever kind. Everything she had been through and knowing it had taken her away from me was the only thing keeping my head up and me looking at the glass as half full.

Seeing as I was on a mission, I popped in on her family celebration unexpectedly. A few smiles, a few ‘oh, finally’ comments, and a couple harsh looks were thrown my way. It was Dane who pointed to the water’s edge. There she was. I almost couldn’t breathe looking out to find her like that. Knowing she was probably crying and bending God’s ear about what a jackass she got involved with cut me to the core.

Even though I wanted to run to her and beg her forgiveness, I took my time, letting myself prepare the words that I wanted to say. When I was only twenty feet or so from her, I called out, “Belly.”

She flinched when she heard me. Lightning quickly she snapped her head over her shoulder. “Why are you here, Cole?”

“Because I heard that you were.”

She laughed mockingly, like she thought my line was stupid and cheesy. Maybe it was, but it was the truth. “Who should I thank for that?”

“Take your pick of any family member up there watching from the deck.”

She shook her head and stood up, brushing off the sand from the back of her legs. “Well, you wasted your time.”

I ran my hand through my hair, studying her. “Don’t say that.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be at school playing football right now?”

She took a step back as I moved an inch forward. I halted in my steps, not wanting to push her too fast. “Yeah, I am. I talked to my coach. Considering my head hasn’t been in the game, I haven’t slept in weeks, and I have been playing like shit, he gave me two days.”

“Two days for what?” she asked, suspiciously.

‘Two days to get you to forgive me.” I answered, taking practiced steps closer.

She crossed her arms, shaking her head for me to stop, but I forged on the few more steps until I was directly in front of her. “I need to convince the woman I love of a few things.”

“Well, cross off asshole. I’m already convinced of that, along with a few other choice words.” She shot me a patronizing look that brought out a smile in me, something rare these days.

“I’m not an asshole. Did I make an asshole decision?

Yeah, I did. But I’m not asshole, Belly. There’s a difference. I gave you what you wanted. You asked me to walk away, I did. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

She stood firm in her spot, with her feet wedged deep into the sand. She wasn’t showing yet, that much was obvious, but there was definitely a small bump as I peered down to her stomach. She remained quiet as I touched her belly. A second later she swatted my hand away.

“Look, it’s as simple as this. I left that day because I was scared shitless about what a baby meant for you, me, for us. You were so cruel to me, Annabelle. I couldn’t believe it, so I ran. I have six months left. One season of ball before I can come home and be who you need me to be. I can’t walk away from the team. I sure as hell can’t walk away from you. I signed a contract back during senior year in high school. They own me for one more season and it’s half over.”

“Cole, I know all this already.”

“But I was thinking about you and the baby. It’s not due until end of Spring. I’ll be done early May, just in time. What if you come down after the holidays and live with me until I graduate? Then the three of us can come home together.”

“No,” she murmured.

“No? Just no? You’re not even going to think about it?”

“I don’t want to have my baby in Alabama. I want my mama with me. I want my family close.”

I swallowed as I prepared myself to hear her answer to the one big question on my mind these days. “What about me? Do you want me with you?”

She looked into my eyes briefly before looking back down. “I’m not sure.”

I grabbed a hold of her hands. “C’mon, Annabelle, please don’t do this. I’m here. I came, didn’t I?”

She lifted her head, narrowing her eyes. “Just go back and play football. I’m fine. We are fine without you.” She dropped her hands out of mine and placed one of her stomach.

“Well, I’m not fine without you,” I shouted back.

She attempted to hide the tears that were falling by turning away, but I saw them.

“I had a dream last night. If I learned anything from it, it’s that being here right now and for years to come is the right place for me to be.” I wrapped my arms around her, but she stiffened, so I pulled back some, but still held on.

“Do you remember one night back when we were seventeen?” That got her attention.

She turned around. “Cole, can you narrow it down for me. We had a million nights together.”

“We were parked in an old field that old man Clayton owned that no one knew about but us. We were sitting in the back seat of my Jeep with the top down and doing shots of fireball. Eric Church was playing on the radio.”

“You were doing shots of fireball. I only had one,” she countered, but I knew she remembered and that was what mattered.

“Fine. So you remember that night?”

“Yeah,” she said quietly.

“What did you ask me that night?”

“I asked you about destiny.” She sat back down on the sand, so I cautiously eased down beside her.

“Yeah. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting down, but you were standing on the backseat, holding on to the cross bar. You had your head tipped back. Your hair was hanging so low it touched the top of those daisy dukes you were wearing. And, my god, the way the moon hit you, I swore I’d never seen anything more beautiful in my life. And I also knew that I would never see anything more beautiful than you standing in my Jeep, looking like a fucking angel. I almost kissed you that night, but I didn’t. I wanted to so bad, Belly.”

“Those shorts were not daisy dukes, by the way.” She smiled a genuine smile.

“Your shorts are not the point. The point is that you asked me this word for word, I remember.” I paused. “Cole, what do you think your destiny is?”

“And you answered football.”

“Let me finish.” I stopped and swiped her hair back so I could see her face. “I asked you the same question and that’s when you told me all about Hollywood. How much you enjoyed being a part of that movie, how you felt like you had a knack, like you were drawn to it.”

She nodded. “Guess I was wrong about that, too.”

“You weren’t wrong, Belly. Being creative or artistic is part of who you are. Whether it’s taking the pictures or being in them. They’re both artistic. They’re both you. So it was easy for you to feel a connection to acting, too.” I paused a beat. “Anyway, I’m rambling.”

“When you told me that you wanted to move out there someday, I was shocked. I mean, you’ve always been within my reach. If you moved, you wouldn’t be. It made me sad to think of not having you in my life.”

Her hand reached out and rested on my thigh.

“Do you remember what happened next?”

She nodded. “You said everyone’s destiny is different, and the goal for anyone in life is to figure out what his destiny is in order to be truly happy.”

I grinned widely, listening to her remember it all verbatim. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

Nervous, more nervous than I’d ever been in my life, I leaned over some and pulled the ring out of my pocket. “Belly, ever since that night in my Jeep I’ve wanted to tell you. I’m tired of not telling you, and I’m tired of not holding you when I have every right to. You’ve been my forever, and I now I want to be your forever.” I reached down and picked up her hand, holding it in mine. “I saw it all. I saw you, us, everything. I saw my destiny that night.”

Tears sprang from her eyes. I stopped to kiss them away. “That’s the easy part, me knowing mine but finding out I might not be yours. That was what I was most afraid of. I didn’t think I was yours these least several weeks. I left because I was a coward. I was so scared that you didn’t love me as much as I love you. That you couldn’t see what I did. Please tell me you see it. Because, Belly,” I paused and cupped her face in my hands. “I see forever with you. So my question is, do you see it? Can we be each others’ forever?”

“Cole, I don’t want you to ask me because of the baby. I don’t know if we can get what we had back. I love you, I do, but…I’m giving the baby up. I’m not sure that I’m ready to raise a child.”

I sat there stunned, unable to move at her announcement and the easy way she’d said it. I grabbed a hold of her when I realized she was moving. “No, Annabelle, please listen to me. I want this baby. I want you. Please don’t do this. Can’t you see me? I’m giving everything up to make this work. I fucking love you, Belly.”

She shook me off. “That’s the thing, Cole, I don’t want you to ever have to give anything up for me. I never have. I’ve always thought of you before I ever did anything and now I’ve gone and ruined it.”

She stood and turned toward the house, but I jumped up and pulled her back to me. “No, Belly, I’m not letting you push me away this time. I’m done with this shit. I love you and you love me, it’s as easy as that.”

“Cole,” she started in, but I refused to let her have a word until I was done.

“A wise woman once told me that your first love is special and something you might even need to fight for a little harder than you like. Well, this is me fighting. Fight back, Belly—fight the fuck back.”

She rolled her eyes, but didn’t go to leave. “Your mama was always a little on the theatrical side.”

I laughed some, taking her hands in mine. “It was your mama who told me that back in the beginning of summer. I had no idea why she was preaching to me that day until I saw you sprawled out by the pool all those months ago. She was telling me to fight for you. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m not letting you walk away from me again. You’ve done it too many times. It hurts, Bell. It’s always been you. You’re the only one that I want.”

She looked down and played with the hem of her sweater. “But your dream,” she whispered.

“Baby, look at me,” I told her. When she lifted her head, tears were falling, and I was happy to see some emotion finally coming from her. It had been too long. I kissed her lips ever so softly, and she let me. I sighed into her mouth, pulling back. “That’s the thing about dreams, Belly, they don’t mean shit if you can’t share them with the one you’re meant to dream with. I love football, but it was a means to an end. It paid for college, and yeah, I got to do something I love. And our getting together doesn’t mean I’m giving it up.”

I paused to gage her reaction, but she was just standing there, tears running down her face, looking up into my eyes. “Annabelle, I’m tired of all these fucking broken roads we’ve been on. They need to be fixed, Belly.” She frowned. “I’m not explaining this right.” I took a deep breath. “Annabelle, when you get to that T in the road and need to figure out which way to go, stop and think real hard before you decide.” She tilted her head and I could tell she was listening, but she just continued to stare. “Hell, I guess it doesn’t even matter what road you choose, broken or not, I’ll still be at the end of it.”

She granted me a slight smile. “Did I ever tell you that you have a way with words?”

Feeling hopeful, I smiled back and pressed my forehead against hers. “You might have a time or two.”

“Do you promise to finish school?”

“I promise to finish school, if you promise to come with me.”

“Cole.”

I shook my head gently. “Now hold on a minute, let me finish. I’ll promise to finish school if you come with me until April. Baby’s not due until the end of May. I’ll stay back, finish up my exams and be home two weeks after you. It’s a win-win, Belly. You just gotta say yes.”

When she gnawed on her bottom lip I knew I got her, but I was waiting for her to still agree.

I reached back into my pocket and grabbed hold of the ring I’d bought months ago to give her, but never did. I dropped on one knee. “Annabelle, please stop pushing me away. I want this baby, and I want you more than anything in this world. Marry me, Belly? Let me give you my last name, ‘cause I’m tired of it being a dream. I want to know it’s real.”

She dropped to her knees. For a moment I wasn’t sure what she was going to do, but then her eyes closed and the corners of her mouth begin to lift. “I’m so sorry,” she said, and I held my breath unable to get a grip.

“Cole, I’m so sorry for pushing you away. I just wanted you to get everything you wanted. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

“I want you, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

She cocked her head to the side. “Let me finish, would ya?”

I nodded several times, unable to hold back my smile.

“I only did it because I love you so much. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but for the first few weeks when I got back from Florida and Aaron, I couldn’t find any love to give. I felt so broken, so scared that I couldn’t see straight. But the one thing I did know was that I wanted you to go back to finish school, because I couldn’t bear to see the pain or the pity in your eyes. I needed you to get your dream, since mine was gone.” She stopped and lifted my chin.