Authors: Jodi Thomas
Tags: #Romance, #General, #Western, #Historical, #Fiction
When he lowered onto her bed, she was asleep, as she’d promised she would be. For a while, he just watched her, wondering what life would be like if she really belonged to him.
His hand moved beneath the covers. Only one layer of soft cotton separated his touch from her body. He moved near her soft breath and touched her lips with his as his hand began to explore.
The feel of her washed away all the exhaustion. He traced the outline of her breasts and slid his hand over her slightly rounded tummy, wishing it were his child growing inside her. When he moved her head onto his shoulder she made a little sound in her sleep, but she came to him willingly.
He began at her ear with his light kisses. When he reached her mouth, slightly open and waiting, he couldn’t resist.
He felt her come awake slowly, one sense at a time. She shyly kissed him back. He ran his hands into her loose hair and pulled her head off the pillow as he rolled and brought her on top of him.
In the shadows he watched her look down at him with sleepy eyes. “Kiss me again,” he whispered.
She smiled and did as he requested.
Before her lips pulled away, he whispered, “Again.”
She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck.
The kiss exploded with passion. She was fully awake now and wanting his nearness as much as he wanted her.
When they finally had to stop to breathe, he rolled her on her back. “Now again, if you don’t mind.”
“You don’t have to keep asking. I’ve no plan to stop until you beg me to.”
“I’ll take that challenge.”
This time, as their lips touched, he cupped her breast and brushed his thumb across the peak. She reacted as he hoped she would, by pulling him close.
“I want you so much,” he whispered between hurried kisses.
He told himself they were married. He had every right, but he knew he’d make love to her only when she said she wanted him. He knew if he ever took her as his real wife, he’d never leave. Not her, or the ranch, or the child she carried. There were some things a part-time husband could never do as part of a bargain.
He broke the kiss and looked down at her. In the pale light of the fire her lips were swollen, her hair was spilled across the pillows, and her eyes shone bright with unshed tears.
He rolled away, onto his back. Her silence had told him all he needed to know. He might want her, but she didn’t want him . . . not in the way he needed her. If she had she would have said something.
Mrs. Peters’s words came back to him.
You’ll never be loved, but maybe you’ll make yourself useful.
That was all he was to her. Useful.
He’d fallen for a woman who didn’t or wouldn’t love him. He’d fallen into hell.
Chapter 9
Cozette pretended to sleep the rest of the night. Until he’d told her he wanted her she’d thought they were simply playing a game. He was touching her, she was enjoying it. When he’d said he wanted her, she knew he was no longer playing. He hadn’t said he loved her or wanted to stay forever. He simply wanted her, and she’d already had one man in her life who’d simply wanted her.
She felt him slip from her bed long before dawn. He hadn’t touched her since he’d rolled away from her, so she had no warmth to miss.
Maybe she should have said she wanted him, but she wasn’t sure she’d ever want a man in that way again. It hadn’t been a pleasant experience. In fact, the mating had hurt when she’d been forced down without warning.
Michael might be gentle and kind, but she wasn’t sure the act wouldn’t still hurt.
She had loved his kisses, though, and the way his hands touched her as if they were worshipping her. She’d even thought of asking him to touch her again, but she didn’t know how. That kind of honesty had never circled so near before.
She slipped from the bed and crossed the bathing room to his bedroom. He’d pulled on clean trousers and was sitting by the open windows tugging on his old boots. The cold air blew her gown as if pushing her back, but she tiptoed toward him.
He didn’t look up but she had a feeling he knew she was there.
“Your new boots should fit far better,” she said calmly.
When he didn’t look up, she took one step more. “Are you mad at me?”
“No,” he answered too quickly.
“Good,” she played along as she moved closer. “Then, you’d have no objection to a good-morning kiss.”
“It’s a long time until morning,” he mumbled before looking up at her, and a moment later she was running into his arms. He was her only friend. The only one she could trust. She couldn’t stand to see hurt in his wonderful blue eyes and know that she’d caused it.
“You promised you’d never be cruel to me,” she whispered. “Don’t turn away from me now.”
He buried his head in her chest and let out a long sigh, then kissed her wildly as if a hunger for her had almost killed him.
She laughed as he stood, holding her in his arms, and walked over to his bed. He tossed her atop the covers and stared down at her for a long moment before joining her. “It’s cold in here. You should be under the covers, dear.”
As the first light shone through the open windows, he tugged the front of her gown open. “If you just want to be touched and nothing more, then touch you I will.”
His fingers shoved the cotton aside a moment before his warm hands covered her breasts. “But I plan to do so all over.”
When she gasped, he kissed her deep as his hands made his promise true.
After awhile, he rose his head to look into her eyes. The pain she’d seen was gone, and passion had taken its place. She whispered between gulps for air. “Again, Michael. Touch me again.”
He pushed the gown off and lowered his mouth to her peak.
Crying out from the pleasure, she rocked back and forth. He moved back to her mouth, holding her face in his hands as he kissed her.
“Is this what you want, my love?” His words whispered against her mouth.
“Yes,” she answered.
Slowly, he gentled as he removed her gown and lightly brushed over her body with his fingertips. When she shivered, he rolled her onto her stomach and stroked her back, dipping lower until his hand covered her bottom.
He didn’t say anything as he explored her body with bold strokes that warmed her skin.
Part of her couldn’t believe she was letting him. Knowing he wanted her wasn’t the same as loving her, but it was close. Reason told her she never wanted another man, but emotions warring in her wouldn’t allow her to stop him. Just seeing the pleasure in his face made her happy. He was a good man who’d had very little pleasure in his life, and it pleased her greatly to know that she could offer him something in return for all he’d given her.
She finally curled next to him and he pulled a blanket over them both. They fell asleep with her head on his shoulder and his hand spread across her stomach.
When the household began to wake, Cozette stirred, loving the warmth of him near.
He opened one eye and looked at her.
“Can I have my good-morning kiss, please?” she pouted.
“Of course,” he said, “but only one.”
He kissed her soundly and pulled away. “Tonight I think maybe you should forget the gown. It will only get ripped. I plan to repeat our early morning activity.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” she smiled.
“Don’t worry. If you forget, we might have to do it twice.”
She blushed. “Oh, I see. I should probably warn you my memory’s never been good.”
“Don’t worry. I’m here to help.”
They both laughed, but she didn’t miss the warm fire in his stormy blue-gray eyes.
She tugged the covers around her as she watched him dress. She wanted to ask him if he’d be happy just touching her and nothing more, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer. When he left she’d keep the memories of their nights together close to her heart. She might not have a real husband, but she’d know that once, for a few short nights, she’d been touched completely and lovingly.
After he strapped on his gun belt and lifted his hat, he crossed to the bed and kissed her on the head. “All day, I’ll think of you here like this and long for the night.”
He was gone before she could answer. Without giving any thought of what was proper, she curled back under the covers and went to sleep in his bed.
Her day could wait a little longer to begin.
Chapter 10
By the time Michael reached the barn, he’d calmed some. Another night of touching his wife without making love to her would surely kill him, but he’d gladly die. He’d known she wasn’t sleeping after he’d pulled away in the night. He’d lain awake angry at how she’d reacted when he’d told her he wanted her. Surely she wasn’t so young to believe that all they were playing was a game.
When he’d left her bed and gone back into his room, he’d still been angry and hurt. She was spoiled and he appeared to be no more than a puppet husband. She’d hardly noticed how he’d been organizing the ranch and getting it running back on track.
Then, she’d come to his room, tiptoeing like a child and looking every ounce a woman in her thin gown that hid little from view. For a moment he’d thought of telling her how impossible her request was. To touch her and not love her was ridiculous. But then, she’d ran to his arms and he’d known he’d have to try.
He knew he hadn’t been as gentle as he should have been when he’d tossed her onto his bed, but she hadn’t complained, hadn’t protested or pulled away. And, once he’d gentled his touch, she’d let him handle her body, exploring, caressing, tasting wherever he liked. She’d given herself to him in every way but one. The one way only a woman can give herself completely.
He knew without thought that no other woman would ever satisfy him. If he didn’t have her, he’d be unfulfilled for the rest of his life.
He walked to the corral, tossed a lead rope around his horse, and entered through the back of the barn, his mind still filled with thoughts of Cozette.
Two hands were at the front of the barn looking out toward the house as he neared. Neither noticed him.
The tallest one complained, “Raymond promised us all a bonus after he got rid of the brat of a girl. But she married, so who knows how long a bonus will be coming, if ever.”
The other added, “We won’t have to wait more than a few days, I’m guessing. I heard one of the men say Raymond plans to get rid of them both.”
“Run them off or kill them?” the tall man questioned.
“Probably make it look like an accident, or better yet make it look like those three bumbling uncles of his killed them. The sheriff will take one look at those three and start looping a rope.”
“Well, I’m not waiting around to be thought of as part of a killing. I hear there’s work up north. I think I’ll head out before something happens.”
“You’d better stop complaining or the same thing will happen to you that happened to Fiddler.”
Michael released the strap on his Colt and moved forward. “What happened to Fiddler?” he asked slowly.
Both men jumped and reached for their guns, but Michael cleared leather first.
“We don’t know, boss,” the tall one said as he lifted his hands. “We was just talking.”
“There will be no bonus from Raymond. He got his inheritance forty years ago and squandered it if rumors are true. His brother built this ranch without any help.”
Michael lowered his gun as he continued, “Raymond has no right to the ranch, gentlemen. My wife is not leaving and there will be no accident.”
He thought of firing them but reconsidered. He couldn’t afford to make enemies too quickly. “I’d like you men to decide if you want to work for me for a fair wage or pack your gear. But, understand, if you stay, you stand with me, not Raymond Camanez.”
The two men glared at each other. They were hard men, but not fools. Jobs with good wages and regular food were hard to come by. “We stay,” one said and the other nodded agreement. “None of us believed Raymond anyway when he talked of bonuses when he took over. He’s all talk.”
Michael holstered his Colt. “All right. I’ve an assignment for you both. See if you can find out what happened to Fiddler and do it without Raymond, or anyone you think might be with him, aware that you’re looking. We need to find the bookkeeper if he’s still alive.”
Both men nodded.
Michael eyed the shorter of the two. “Smith, right?”
“Yes, sir. Ace Smith.” The man seemed surprised Michael remembered his name.
“I’ll expect that report tonight. I’ll meet you in the chapel after supper.”
Both men tipped their hats. “We’ll do our best,” Smith said.
Michael moved away to saddle his horse. It crossed his mind that he could have passed the job along to someone else, but he believed a man should always take care of his own mount. Besides, if accidents were predicted, he wanted to make sure no one got close.
He saw Smith and his friend saddling up. The tall man walked over to Michael while his friend waited in the morning sun. After a few moments of just standing, the man said, “Mind my asking why you didn’t fire us on the spot, Mr. Hughes?”
“No, I don’t mind.” Michael climbed on his horse. “I knew a lot of men once who no one gave a second chance to. Some were worthless, but others might have made better men if anyone had let them try.”