One Swinging Summer (35 page)

He moaned again, and he placed his hands back on either side of my hips, squeezing me as I rocked against him. He ran his hands up, circling my waist as we moved together. He then slid his hands up over my ribcage and up onto my breasts, cupping and squeezing them. His left hand left my breast and he leaned over me, propping himself up by placing his left elbow beside my head.

I felt his mouth cover mine, his tongue pushing inside as his right hand kept caressing and squeezing my breast. I kissed him back, tasting him while matching his hips thrust for thrust. I moaned my pleasure against his lips, pulling tight on my wrist restraints with each rocking of our hips.

He used the hand he was leaning on to push my blindfold off over my head. I blinked up at him, adjusting to the light. He said, "I want to look at you, to see the pleasure in your eyes as I make you come again." I just smiled at him, and adjusted the movement of my hips slightly, hearing him hiss in response. "I like that," he said as he picked up the speed, and kissed me again.

I wiggled against him again, bringing myself to the edge of climax. I bit his lower lip and heard a low growl escape him as he ground into me, "Oh, God." He cried out as we rocked, coming together.

CHAPTER 43
CINDERELLA'S SLIPPERS

I woke up hours later, Caleb's sleeping body next to mine. He had untied me after we'd finished, and pulled me to him, curling himself around me. It was still dark out, the sun not yet making an appearance through Caleb's glass doors. I rolled over onto my side to go back to sleep, but my brain wouldn't shut off.

'What had I done?' I asked myself, embarrassed. I'd had no intention of coming back here, not after what Caleb had said about what had gone on during his birthday. So much for hanging on to my anger. We never did get around to having it out last night. So as far as I was concerned, nothing had really changed. He couldn't commit to anything. He couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't resent me and not go back to the club lifestyle. He did say that he would try, but he had also made it clear that he really didn't want to give it up. I couldn't be sure I could trade marriage and kids for him.

So where did that leave us? I tossed and turned, trying to slow my mind and get comfortable in his bed. I was embarrassed at how easily he had gotten me back into this bed, when we hadn't addressed anything. I thought about last night, and how vulnerable I had been here with him. Tied to his bed, naked and spread open. Blindfolded and shaved. Completely under his control. I felt the conflicting warmth of both arousal and shame creep over me.

Thoughts of him on his birthday rushed in as well, unbidden. I didn't want to imagine him in the back room with another woman, especially after the naked vulnerability of last night, but I couldn't help it. I felt a tear escape, rolling down my face and wetting my pillow. I rolled over again, surprised I hadn't woken him with my unease. I looked at him, asleep. His face was calm, his breathing deep and regular, all while I struggled with my emotions.

I realized I couldn't stay. I couldn't face Caleb in the morning, in the daylight. I couldn't sit with him and have breakfast, like everything was normal. And I didn't want to have it out with him, wearing a pair of his sweats and a t-shirt, smelling of last night.

People have break-up sex all the time, I told myself. Yeah, that's what this was. Nothing has changed, we are still broken up. And people don't stick around after break-up sex. People leave, sometimes in the dark of the night.

I slid out of his bed as quietly as I could. The moon lit up the room enough to see, and I picked my clothes up off the floor, piece by piece. I crept down his stairs naked, afraid my getting dressed would wake him. I slipped my panties and bra on by his front door. I slipped my dress over my head and then remembered that my shoes were still upstairs. Shit. I didn't dare go get them, guess I'll be going home without them. And my new toy. Oh well, I didn't want it anymore anyway. It would always remind me of tonight.

Thankfully, Caleb was as religious about where he left his car keys as I was. My keys were sitting in the dish by his front door, next to his phone. I guess my toy bag really had distracted him, he usually keeps his phone beside his bed when he sleeps. I scooped my keys up slowly and silently, and went to let myself out the same way. The phone chose that moment to light up and vibrate. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

It didn't ring again. I looked down at its lit up face. It wasn't a phone call, but a text. Caleb must have his phone set to ring every so often until the message is opened and read. I could see the senders name and the first two lines of text. It was from Laura and said, "I know it's late but can we talk? If you are up..."

That was all I could see without actually opening the message. I stood there a minute, my heart beating so loud I thought for sure it would wake Caleb. The phone went dark again, its reminding duties done for now. I almost reached for it, instinctively wanting to see the rest of the message. Laura was the one who, with Ray, had wanted to play with us. Why was she texting Caleb? Especially this late. And why hadn't he told me? I doubt that I happened to be standing here for the very first contact since I had told her that night at the club that we weren't interested.

"I know it's late but can we talk?" That isn't a first contact question. That is an 'I'm comfortable texting you in the middle of the night cause we talk all the time' question. Well son of a bitch. I fought the urge to check his phone. No, I am above that. Besides, we are broken up, right? It's no longer my business. 'Yeah, except that you just left his bed,' I reminded myself. But still, checking his phone is wrong. I could go wake his ass up and demand an explanation.

I sighed. No. Right now I just wanted to get the hell out of here. I let myself out, closing the door behind me. I had always wondered why he didn't use his house alarm, being a cop and all, but now I was grateful that he never sets it.

It wasn't raining yet, but the clouds were starting to get thicker. The real hint at the storm to come was the wind. It was blowing strong, whipping my dress around me and throwing my hair into my face. I climbed into my car and started it up, hoping the noise of the wind would cover the sound of the engine. I backed out of his drive with my lights off, not turning them on until I turned a corner away from his house.

I drove home, not sure if I had done the right thing or not. Oh well. I had locked his door when I left, it wasn't like I could change my mind now. I let myself into my place and crawled into my own bed. I tossed and turned here as well, torn and unsure.

I woke up to my phone ringing. I answered it half asleep, my eyes not even opening to see who was calling. "You snuck out on me." Caleb's voice purring in my ear. I was fully awake in an instant, flashes of last night assaulting my memories.

"Guilty as charged." I replied, trying to keep it neutral. Obviously if he was calling me from his phone he would have had to have seen Laura's text before calling me. I wondered if he would mention it.

"Why didn't you stay? I would have made you breakfast. You must have left in a hurry, you left your shoes and your new toys. When I saw your shoes, I assumed you had dressed and just gone downstairs to make coffee or something. But your car was gone when I looked."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't sleep. I need to work today anyway." I replied stiffly.

"Do you want to come back over, after work? We could do something tonight?"

"No, I can't tonight, but thanks." That sounded off and stupid even to my own ears, surely he noticed my tone.

"You left me stranded, we took your car last night. I left mine at the bar."

"Hmm, sounds like a personal problem." I said testily. Shit, I am no good at keeping things neutral.

Silence. I'm guessing he caught my tone that time. "What's wrong? Are you still angry? I know we didn't talk last night, but I thought we were good again."

'Yeah, because great sex fixes everything.' I thought sarcastically. "I'm sure if you called Laura she would love to come rescue you. She seemed desperate to talk to you. How long has that been going on?"

I heard his sigh over the phone. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw the text Caleb, her late night request to talk to you, if you were still up. Women don't send texts like that unless they know it will be well received. Have you called her back yet? Maybe she can come get you."

"That isn't anything, I swear. She called a few days ago, and I made the mistake of answering. She was whining about Ray and needed someone to talk to. She said she needed a male perspective on her relationship. She said that you and I seemed to have a good relationship and that she needed to talk to a guy friend about stuff, and she was hoping I wouldn't mind."

"Oh, so you are her guy friend now? Are you counseling her about her relationship? Maybe over a beer at your place?"

"No, I haven't seen her. I talked to her that one day. She seemed down, she sounded upset, like she had been crying. I listened, gave her some advice. It was no big deal."

"I'm sure she loved hearing that you and I weren't together. Did she offer to console you? You two could bond."

"I didn't mention you. She told me some stuff about how he treats her, and I listened. She was upset. I told her that she seemed like a great person, and that she deserved better than a guy like Ray. He puts her down and says she's ugly and that she should be grateful he takes her to those bars because that's the only way anyone would want her. I just tried to help, to make her feel better. I told her that she is a pretty woman, and that any man would be happy to have her and that in my opinion she should dump him and find someone worthy of her. That's all."

"Wow, you bought that shit?"

He sighed again. "I was just being nice."

"You know what happens when you feed stray dogs, right?" I said nastily. "They keep coming back. For every little scrap you are willing to throw their way. Surely you know better, you are a cop. Don't you see that shit every day? When you respond to domestic calls? Be careful, she wants help when she is wounded, but when she swings the other way and says, 'but I love him,' you are going to be the one she throws under the bus. You know they stick up for their abusers and go back again and again."

"It's not like that." Caleb said.

"Yeah, it never is. Look, either one of two things is going on with that one. Either she is unhappy with Ray and wants you, and is hoping that telling you this stuff makes you want to save her and be her knight in shining armor and thinks this is the best way to get your attention, or she really is being abused. At least verbally and mentally if not physically. And if that is the case, I take back my snide comments. But if she is being abused, she needs to get herself out, not pull you in. Do what you would do if you were called to her while on duty. Give her some numbers to a shelter or something. No one should be treated that way, she needs a friend, or a family member. Not the cute guy from the swingers bar who she thinks already has a girlfriend. Wait, does she know you are a cop? Is that why she called you?"

"No. She just said she needed advice from a nice guy."

"Maybe you should tell her. Let her know that if she is being abused, you can start the ball rolling on an investigation. Her reaction to that should tell you if she seriously needs help, or if she is just after you. Either way, my recommendation is that you stay out of that. She is either abused or crazy. Unless you like that sort of thing, who am I to say?"

"I don't 'like that sort of thing,' and I wasn't keeping it a secret. It's not like I've talked to you all week and didn't mention it. You told me to fuck off, remember? Last night was the first time I even saw you, and talking wasn't high on my list of things to do with you. If you had stayed, you would have been here when I saw that text, and I probably would have mentioned it right then. You left. In the middle of the night."

"Yeah, and I need to get to work."

"Can I call you later? We still need to talk."

"Yeah, fine."

CHAPTER 44
DIVORCE PAPERS

I talked to Caleb off and on during the week, but nothing was really accomplished. I was still angry and upset about his birthday and about his talking to Laura, and he still didn't think talking to her was a big deal. He preferred for us to get together next weekend and talk in person, like we had planned to before I got tied up. Literally.

I had called the bar and had Lana keep my credit card somewhere safe until Friday. My usual routine on a Friday night that didn't involve going to Caleb's first included tucking my ID and key into my bra, and leaving my credit card at the bar to run a tab. When we left so suddenly last time, I left my card. They said they would tuck it away in the bar's office and I could pick it up on Friday night.

The plan for Friday was to meet at the bar, have some drinks and dance, and hopefully go back to Caleb's. That way we had the week to calm down and think about things. We could reconnect Friday night, have some fun, and hopefully work everything out over the weekend. We would have all of Saturday and Sunday to talk, relax, and see where we were. Hopefully, we would just make-up. I missed him and was really tired of the drama.

I did ask him how he got back to his truck after I abandoned him. He said Mark lived nearby and took him to get it.

I squirmed in my seat as I drove around, working. The hair Caleb had shaved was starting to grow back in, and the itching was driving me crazy. I couldn't decide between shaving it all back off again, or letting the landing strip grow back in. I figured I would decide on Friday, when I got ready to go out.

Caleb had invited me over early Friday, to ride together, but I wasn't sure I wanted to give in yet. Why I felt it was OK to agree to spend the weekend at his place talking, but wasn't comfortable dropping my car off there first seemed weird even to me. I guess I just felt like I had more control that way.

I thought about Caleb a lot as I worked. Nothing new there. I couldn't decide about him. I knew I loved him, but I didn't want to be stupid about it. I tried to think it through, rationally instead of emotionally. I told Caleb to go to That Other Club without me, single, to see if that was the life he wanted. Could I really blame him for doing so? He didn't have sex with anyone, just a blow job in the back room. What did I expect? Once I knew he was going to go, did I expect him to get all hot and bothered and drive to my house instead?