One Step Too Close - Coffin Nails MC Louisiana (Gay Biker Stepbrother Romance) (Sex & Mayhem Book 6) (8 page)

“So you were drunk? What
the hell happened? Was it Tom again?”

“Never mind, Ryder. I
said I’m sorry. Let’s just forget about it. I’m here now, and I wanna make the
best of it. We don’t have that much time.”

Ryder clenched his jaw
and looked away. “That guy’s not good company for you. Keeps pushing you pills
like he were in an ice cream van by the playground.”

“Seriously? I’m not
five, you know.” Jed shook his head. “He’s fun to be around. Can we not talk
about fucking
Tom
? Come on… I was thinking just yesterday, that maybe we
could go on that road trip to Florida we were talking about. You’re gonna be a
free man when you come out…”

Ryder shook his head,
biting back his opinion on Tom. “Maybe... I don’t know. Don’t want to leave the
other guys like this. There’s the deals with our new business partner, and with
Ripper out, I need to help out as much as I can,” he said, even though his
heart screamed
yes
to some time spent in just Jed’s company. They’d
sleep in cheap motels, and try out burgers each night in a different town.
Maybe
they’d even share one bed
, his mind told him, and that was it. He couldn’t
go anywhere with Jed until he got the gay out of his system. He couldn’t be
thinking those things about his
brother
, even though they shared no
blood.

Jed nudged Ryder’s foot.
“Sometimes I feel… I mean, I love our guys and all, but it’s like, I wish I had
more freedom. To just turn off the phone and go. I love it when I go on the
open road for a few hours.”

Ryder’s mind rang in
alarm. Jed could not go Nomad. The guy was far too prone to bad influence. He
drank too much and too frequently, he was out of control, gambled and agreed to
stupid dares. Ryder would fucking die knowing that Jed was somewhere out there,
possibly getting into trouble he couldn’t crawl out of on his own. “Don’t leave
the chapter. We’re all family.”

Jed groaned. “I wouldn’t
leave before you get out. I need to take you to this fantastic new burger
joint. It’s called
Frog and Crab
, and it’s got fishburgers—” he paused
and raised his hands. Ryder was already missing the warmth of his arm. “I know,
I know,
fish
burgers, right? Usually shit, but the one they’ve got is
amazing. I think it’s the sauce that really makes it. You’ll see.”

Ryder smiled and rubbed
his face, once again falling victim to Jed’s smile. He couldn’t be angry with
him for a long time. “Yeah, let’s do that. The food here’s shit. You have no
idea.”

Jed’s smile only
widened. “I haven’t even been further than Texas, and I envy Nomads that they
go so many places. I suppose I’d like to be a bit like Grim… kinda. You know,
except for the gay thing... and the killing.” Jed laughed nervously, and ran
his fingers through his hair. “But he, like, doesn’t care. He does whatever the
fuck he wants and doesn’t give a shit. Shouldn’t being an outlaw be about
that?”

Ryder valued Grim’s
expertise in making people disappear just like any other patch, even the ones
who felt violently disgusted by Grim’s open homosexuality, but Jed saying he
envied the guy? That was not on. He couldn’t help a sneer. “What others think
is everything. You can only allow yourself not to care if you’re ready to gun
down those who offend you. If you’re not, all relies on respect.”

Ryder hated being the
one to extinguish the glow in Jed’s eyes. His brother leaned over, and when his
fingers trailed over Ryder’s knuckles, not only the hairs on his forearms
bristled, but the spark went all the way under the table.

“Fear none,” Jed read
out the tattoos absentmindedly.

“And I don’t. This is
different,” said Ryder, even though it made him feel like the biggest hypocrite.
Right now, he feared Jed. Right now, he wasn’t sure if he could be in the same
room with him when Jed showered. Just bringing back the memory of Jed’s tan,
strong body dripping with water made Ryder clench his fists.

“I guess it’s just one
of these things you always think about doing, but never do. Like our road
trip.” Jed looked at the ink on his own knuckles, which read
DUMB LUCK
.
“I mean the Nomad thing, not the gay thing,” he quickly added.

“I know,” said Ryder,
angry that of course he focused on ‘the gay thing’ since that was what had been
constantly on his mind recently. Jed’s words stung worse than he thought they
would. They had been so close as teens, spending virtually all their time
together, so why were they slowly growing apart? Of course, they still shared a
lot of time together, but it didn’t feel the same. “We will go. As soon as the
Colombian deal goes through, we will.”

“I’d even stay in a
fucking tent. I just want to
go
.” Jed bit his lip. “No girlfriends.”

“I don’t know if I ever
want a serious girlfriend again after this,” said Ryder and gently smiled at
Jed. “Just us.”

“We’ve been planning
this for years. It has to finally happen, right?” Jed looked back at him with
those big blue eyes, and all Ryder was itching for was to cross the few inches
of space, kiss those succulent lips, feel Jed’s stubble on his skin, and then
fuck him senseless. None of that would have been appropriate for the visiting
room. Then again, it was a fantasy anyway, because none of it was appropriate
for anywhere. Ever.

Ryder wanted to respond
right away, but the guard poked her watch, and he deflated, looking up into
Jed’s eyes. “I will have to finish now. But I promise we will go. We’ll have
some fun, try out the burger places we choose on the way, fuck some chicks,
yeah?” It almost felt like his speech started slurring when he remembered that
one time he and Jed had double-teamed a chick. He’d never been as hard in his
life before or after that. Jed’s flushed face, his hard cock and heavy balls
were like an imprint hidden in the depths of Ryder’s brain.

They never did it again.

Jed got up with a smirk.
“What Dana doesn’t know, doesn’t hurt her.”

If it were a girl worth
of Jed’s attention, Ryder would smack him over the head now for being a prick
and possibly losing someone who actually had good influence on him. But Dana?
Hell, maybe a few different pussies would cure Jed of the attraction to that
woman-shaped block of ice. “Yeah.”

Before Ryder could avoid
it, Jed pulled him in for a good-bye hug, and for a moment, Ryder went tense,
worried if he wasn’t half-hard. If he stayed too long in the hug though, with
his face tickled by the golden hair, there would be no
half
erections.

“It’s been good to see
you,” said Ryder and pulled away from Jed’s warmth. Max smelled nothing like
him. What the fuck had Ryder been thinking? Fucking the guy and imagining Jed
in his place. It was more than messed up. He was a fucking mental case, and if
he didn’t stop, there might be no going back for him.

He waved at Jed and
moved toward the door, hoping he wasn’t too flushed. “See you next week. And
bring me something sweet.”

“They only let us buy in
the vending machine!” Jed complained before the officer shut the door of the
visitor’s room.

“Go on, love birds,” she
groaned.

“He’s my brother,” said
Ryder, feeling obliged to straighten that out. He quickly opened the donut that
was meant for him, and the fake strawberry aroma flooded his senses at full
speed.

The female officer
frowned at him and shook her head. “I know this, Arige. Unless you wanna tell
me something about your brother. He’s cute. In a gonna-be-a-prisoner kinda
way.”

Ryder clenched his teeth
and shut himself up with the donut. He wasn’t about to flip out about something
like this. Let her have her fun in the boring job that would eat away her whole
life. He would be out in a little over two months. He’d get on his bike, earn
tons of cash on the Colombian deal, and go on a road trip with Jed, while she died
on the inside eating donuts from the vending machine.

White gooey cream
spilled out of the strawberry donut with the next bite he took and as a bit of
it dripped down Ryder’s hand, he imagined how Jed’s cum would do the same if he
jerked him off. The cream was so sweet Ryder could barely feel any flavor, but
he couldn’t stop fantasizing as he ate. He finished the pastry alone, standing
with his back to the showers that he wouldn’t use today because they would be
more disgusting than they usually were.

He couldn’t decide
whether he was happy with the meeting or not, but at least when he slipped the
other donut to Toro’s guy, it felt more worthwhile, despite the turmoil seeing
Jed brought upon his mind. He burned off some steam at the gym, but nothing
helped.

By the time Ryder
entered his cell and cast a look at the slim body spread out in the top bunk,
he thought the true benefit of Jed’s visit was Ryder finally realizing how far
he’d fallen down the slippery slope of fucking a guy.

Max sat up on his bunk
and smiled at Ryder as if he were a shark tasting blood in the water. “Good
date
?”
he snorted as the bell rang, announcing that lights would be turned off soon.

“Yeah,” said Ryder,
leaning against the wall. He ducked on his bunk when his gaze wandered to the
lips that had sucked his cock so well just last night. The temptation to just
let loose one more time was so great, but he knew how addictions started, and
while being addicted to booze or drugs would be sort-of an acceptable thing for
his brothers, getting hooked on men’s asses and lips was not.

His attitude must have
not been enough of a message, because as soon as the lights went out, Max slid
off his bunk, and looked down to Ryder. “You ready for a Valentine’s Day
treat?” He wiggled his eyebrows, and Ryder hated to say no. But he had to. This
was clearly getting out of hand if he was daydreaming about fucking Jed even as
they met face to face.

“I changed my mind.
There’s plenty for you out there anyway.”

Max slouched, and for a
moment just watched Ryder without a word. Ryder imagined that the guy was
assessing whether he’d get punched if he pushed. “Suit yourself,” Max said in
the end and climbed back into his bunk. The last thing Ryder needed was a
cranky cell-mate, but there was no way around it.

Yet there was still an
itch he couldn’t scratch since Jed’s visit. His hand pushed its way into his
bottoms and grabbed his cock that stiffened at the mere thought of those
luscious lips, the short beard that would surely scratch against Ryder’s skin.
He gasped at how cold his palm was in comparison to the hot dick, but at the
same time, the contrast only seemed to push him farther into the madness of
Jed’s phantom lips.

From the sound of it,
Max had similar needs, and hearing the slapping sounds from above made Ryder
imagine Jed jerking off. He’d actually heard him do it under the shower quite a
few times when they still lived in one house. Ryder’s memory went back to
seeing Jed shower at the gym, how if Jed were alone, he might just jerk off
quickly. One hand on the wall, the other pumping his dick, ass clenching every now
and then. Jed wouldn’t have even noticed Ryder coming in.

His thoughts scattered
between different fantasies and memories. Of Jed lying on the lawn and chewing
on some piece of grass, shirtless, his beautiful golden skin on show. Jed
looking at him so intensely when they both fucked that girl years ago. Jed on
his knees, milking Ryder’s cock with his mouth. All red faced, his eyes
glistening with arousal.

Ryder came with a low
grunt, spraying cum all over his top. “Fuck,” he uttered breathlessly, listening
to the squeaking of metal above him, the sounds of jerking off, the sharp
breaths.

Ryder was drowning, but
even then shame dove behind him and grabbed him by the throat.

Jed

Jed checked his watch
for the fiftieth time. What was taking so long? Ryder should have been out by
now. Fucking bastards. The man spent three months in jail, and they were still going
to milk the last hour? He kicked the wheel of his car and put his hoodie up
when the first drops of rain fell on his face. It was getting warm throughout
March, but the rain kept coming back with a vengeance. Jed had been hoping that
the day Ryder came out would be sunny, but there was no way to guarantee that.

What Jed could guarantee
though was a party to die for, to make Ryder feel that he was back home as soon
as he was a free man again. Jed could still hardly believe that Jess had cheated
on Ryder, and got pregnant. That girl was missing out so hard. Not that Jed
felt sorry for her. Fucking bitch hurt Ryder, and no one who did that deserved
Jed’s pity. After arranging it through her sister, Jess did leave the cat, and
since she left to live with her new boyfriend in Texas, Jed often stayed in
Ryder’s house under the pretense of catsitting when in truth, he just liked
being around Ryder’s things. He felt more at home there than at his dirty place
with Dana always there to make stupid remarks. Fortunately, she was getting
nowhere with her spying because Jed made sure few conversations were held in
the office, and a month into the bug being installed, the dampness in the vent had
wrecked the machinery anyway. Poor Dana. Not.

Jed’s heart trembled
when the metal gate opened, and a familiar figure slipped outside, dressed in
the same clothes Ryder had been wearing in court. His broad, handsome face stretched
in a smile as he approached, pulling Jed close for a long hug.

“The last week fucking
felt like a full year,” growled Ryder, patting Jed’s back with his fist.

Jed was all too eager to
respond with a hug just as tight. “The three months felt like forever.” He
didn’t know how he could live without Ryder in the long term. They shared so
many memories, they could tell each other things the other Nails wouldn’t
understand. They could show each other a softer side, one men rarely showed
other men.

Ryder shuddered and
pulled away with a grin. “Did you hear that? My stomach wants to check out that
burger place you told me about. How about it?”

“Are you kidding? It’s
all about you today.” Jed’s heart fluttered when he looked into Ryder’s
handsome face. Fuck. Girls would backstab each other just to suck this god’s
cock.

They arrived at the
burger joint, and while Ryder complained about the lack of beef on the menu, he
seemed to enjoy himself regardless. He looked relaxed and happy, just like Jed
wanted to see him—without the gloom of failure after that backstabbing woman
betrayed him. Ryder deserved so much better.

They talked as they ate,
and it was just like the good old days when they would try out a new burger
place every single week. At some point, Ryder had even collected the toothpicks
with flags, but his collection must have gotten lost somewhere, just like the
frequency of their outings. They had a good laugh at the expense of Dark, who
recently got so fucked-up that he fell asleep naked in front of some old lady’s
yard, and she woke him up with the sprinklers in her garden, shouting
obscenities no one expected from someone like her.

They talked about the
new television show Jed hadn’t watched yet because they’d made a pact to do it
together, and about the plans for the road trip to Florida—Jed even brought a
map for just this reason. But as good as it was to have Ryder to himself, Jed
couldn’t keep him from greeting Wolver and the others, so after dessert it was
high time to go. Ryder would still have to visit Ripper at his home on another
day, as the prez was not well enough to attend the party.

When they arrived at the
club, Jed was slightly anxious, as what he prepared was supposed to be the
party of a lifetime but the guys weren’t always all that reliable. Jed had
taken extra shifts at the gym, and won some money at poker to save up for
strippers, supply the club with extra booze, and he even got Dark’s nephew to
DJ for a few bucks.

“I really think poker’s
my new thing.” Jed laughed and wouldn’t step away from Ryder as they approached
the club where a crowd was already spilling out the door. With noise blasting
through the darkness of the spring afternoon, no one even noticed their arrival
yet.

Ryder frowned, and Jed
could already sense stabs of disapproval coming his way. “Do you think it’s a
good idea? You wanted to save up.”

“Hell yeah! That’s
exactly what I did thanks to the winnings. I organized this whole party to
celebrate your freedom.” Jed grinned and pushed his hands into his pockets to
keep the temptation of holding Ryder’s hand at bay.

Ryder pressed his lips
together. “Thanks. I really fucking appreciate that, but you know how things
are. It’s easy to lose.”

Jed felt slightly
deflated. “I know, but money’s tight. You need this rebound. I’d do anything to
get you what you need.”

Ryder’s Adam’s apple
bobbed in such a delicious way Jed was tempted to bite right in. “I know. But
you’re still my little brother. I’m worried,” said Ryder and ruffled Jed’s
hair, his fingers leaving burning marks on Jed’s scalp.

“I’m twenty-five—” Jed
wanted to continue but their father was there to greet his older son.
Actual
son
, Jed had to remind himself, just to feel slightly cleaner about his
thoughts.

“Everyone, Ryder’s
back!” Wolver yelled and hugged Ryder with a grin. The number of people pouring
out of the club at Wolver’s call immediately separated Jed from Ryder. Everyone
wanted to welcome the hero who took the blame for his idiot brother, and while
no one was saying it to Jed’s face, his failure was widely known. Swept away
into the clubhouse, Ryder looked back at Jed, only to be pounced by a
red-headed hangaround in a tight leather dress.

Jed knew it would
happen, that Ryder’s availability on the market meant women would flock to him
like a bunch of bitches in heat. He knew that was also what Ryder needed after
Jess’s betrayal. That he probably craved pussy after three months in jail a lot
more than having a burger with his brother. If it was up to Jed though, he’d go
camping with Ryder tonight, make it all about them. Fry some sausages, drink
beers, fall asleep together in a damp, sweaty tent. But despite popular belief,
Jed wasn’t completely self-centered. This would be Ryder’s night, and Ryder
would get the best that club parties had to offer.

Jed even had to leave at
one point, to pick up a late transport of beer barrels. But with the number of
people at the club, he doubted Ryder would notice his absence.

Jed had spared no
expense. The strippers were young and ripe, not too fake, just like Ryder liked
his women. Small tits, big eyes, long legs. He asked them to dress in
biker-inspired clothes for the stripping act, and they looked great dancing on
the counter, one in a tiny denim skirt and a leather vest over a neon bra, the
other in a pair of nonexistent shorts and a sheer tank top that showed off the
black tape covering her nipples.

Ryder was being pulled
from seat to seat, briefly ogling the empty doorway left by Axe, who fell over
while fucking a girl against the wall. The old piece of junk broke under their
combined weight, and that was that. With all the excess funds put into the
festivities, there was no way to do the repairs for now. Though with the
Colombian deal approaching, there would be a healthy flow of cash pumping
through the club’s veins soon enough. Ryder didn’t get to ask about the door,
thank fuck, as Brain and Grease pulled him into a chair in front of the
makeshift stage for the real
fun
to start. Jed had paid the strippers
extra to give Ryder some private time, were he to want it, and now he was
feeling sorry that he had done that. There were plenty hangarounds eager to be
pinned by Ryder’s dick, and with those two women used to being naked in public,
what if they chose to fuck him in front of everyone? Jed would be forced to
watch the whole thing and pretend to be happy about it. Thankfully, it ended up
with a lapdance, though who knew how this evening would develop when everyone
got completely shitfaced?

But as Jed wanted to
drift off to Ryder and offer him another beer, slim fingers that he knew all
too well wrapped around his wrist like the shackle they were.

“I think we need to
talk, sweetie.” Dana looked up at him with a smile on her lips and venom in her
eyes.

“Can’t it wait till
tomorrow?”

She shook her head and
tugged at his hand with so much strength he wobbled toward her. She pulled him
all the way outside where the music was quieter, and cornered him by the gate.
Why couldn’t she just go? Why had he been stupid enough to act on his dirty
lust for a guy? He didn’t even get anything out of it. Not a blowjob, nothing.
He didn’t even watch gay porn, terrified it would make him even more of a fag.

Cool droplets were
dotting his face and shoulders by the time Dana stood in front of him, with the
sound of passing cars zigzagging down Jed’s spine as he looked into her cruel
eyes, shining like icicles even in the shadow cast by her own hair.

“The bug’s done,” she
hissed.

Jed spread his arms.
“And that’s my fault how? I told you I don’t know shit. We’re a small chapter.
We got lucky with a few things, but there’s nothing more I can offer you. And
believe me, I’d like to, just to get you off my back.”

“You’re sabotaging me.”
It wasn’t a question. She just stated a fact, crooking her head at him like a
goose.

Jed crossed his arms on
his chest, and the staring contest began. Of course, with Jed being the star of
a video she had in her possession, there was no way for him to win.

“I’m done with you. If
you don’t get this for me within the week, I’m gonna leak the video. My
patience has run out.”

Jed blinked, and the
burger he’d eaten earlier came up in his throat. “What?”

“You organized this
party just for Ryder, but I’m not sure if he’s gonna be willing to hang out
with you after he sees you for who you really are,” she said in a robotic tone,
never once taking her eyes of him. If Jed had ever met a psychopath, it was
her.

“You can’t do this… I
can’t just flat out ask them… I told you—”

“You told me shit. I
managed to find out on my own that you have a Colombian coming after next week
and that he goes by Toro. You think I’m an idiot? I’m not, Jed. I hate it here
in your fucking town, around your pathetic club. I want to do well for my boss
and leave.” Dana took a deep breath, and it seemed that she’d reached some
limit, because it was a rare moment to see her agitated. “Find out the details
about Toro, and bring me in on it. I don’t care how. Tell him I’m hired for
company. I. Don’t. Care. Get me close to him, and I will do what I need, but
you try to screw me over on this, Jed,” she grabbed his jaw and pushed her
nails into his cheeks, “and I will leak the fucking video.”

She pushed him back so
hard he hit himself on the head, but as he looked up to see her rush across the
yard toward the main entrance to the clubhouse, for once no relief was to be found
in the sight of her back. A week. It was nothing. What was he to do?

If Ryder knew, all the
companionship and brotherly love would be replaced by repulsion. Ryder never
hid what he thought of gay men, and though he never openly attacked any, it
would be a different matter if it turned out someone close to him was this way.
Jed would lose everything if this video got out, but how was he to betray his
family, the club? Just thinking of that choice, now that there was a deadline
looming over his head, was tearing him apart.

This was supposed to be
a good night. It was supposed to be about having Ryder close, making the party
amazing for him. Drinking until morning and discussing club philosophy over
vodka. Now, he simultaneously wanted to puke and drink more alcohol. He
crouched by the wall, falling into a well so dark he would never climb out of
it. Betraying the club wasn’t even about getting killed for it. Sure, he didn’t
want to die. But death was not as scary as losing his family’s respect, seeing
disgust in the eyes of those who mattered most.

Jed pulled out a
cigarette with trembling fingers. A week? This was insane. Respect, loyalty to
the club, those were instilled in him to the last blood cell in his body. He’d
kill for them, he’d do time for them, and he
would
die for them.

He paced around the yard
for several minutes, smoking and listening to the loud music and screams, to
the sounds of sex coming from a trembling car parked nearby, to a group of
women laughing over something that was probably unrelated to him. Still,
whatever they were in fact talking about, the joke
was
on Jed. He was
done for. There was no good choice for him.

He pushed through a
group of chattering people and entered the crowded lounge. He almost slipped on
the wet floor but held on to a chair and pulled himself up. In the red light he
rented out for the party, with the psychedelic mixture of metal and beats
streaming from the speakers, everyone looked the same, and with the numbness in
Jed’s brain, he had an especially hard time finding Ryder. As ashamed as he was
of himself, he still wanted to be close to him. They still needed to have a
chat, get drunk, and for just a few hours Jed could cheat himself into
believing that there was value left in him. That everything would turn out
fine.