One Broke Girl (11 page)

“Can I ask you a question?” Gavin said out of nowhere. His face was as serious as I’d seen it. “What made you and your dad move back here?”

My lungs squeezed for a moment. “My mom left us,” I blurted out.

He stilled, and his eyes grew sad. “Oh. I’m so sorry.”

The empathy in his voice broke open the floodgates. I told him everything—how she’d left us flat broke after running off with another man. How my dad was finally starting to come back to life. How I’d been socking away whatever I could for school.

As I talked, I could see emotions flickering across his face. They mirrored my own, made me feel a breath of relief that I’d confessed everything to him. Somehow I’d known Gavin wouldn’t judge me over what had happened. Instead, I found a surprising solace in his presence.

I finished telling him about our money struggles, how I’d been struggling to get us caught up on bills. “We’re mostly living month to month right now, so I don’t have a lot saved up yet,” I admitted. “Just a couple hundred bucks. But I try to tell myself that every dollar counts.”

“You should be proud to have that saved up. That’s no small thing.” He paused. “Are you going to move back there?”

“That’s the plan,” I said. “To save money so I can go back to school and either live on campus or find a couple of roommates.” But even as I spoke this, my stomach gave a guilty twist. What had been my goal two months ago didn’t seem as exciting a prospect anymore. “So how did you handle getting student loans? Because that’s probably what I’m going to have to do.”

“I didn’t take out any.”

Whoa. “Seriously? How did you manage that?” I dipped a few fries in ketchup.

“I did work study, got scholarships and grants… I also worked a couple of jobs. It was hard, but I got through it.” He sipped his soda.

“So how did you manage it with your bills? Between rent and food and everything else, I just don’t know how to balance it all.”

He chuckled. “I lived on the cheap. Ate a lot of mac and cheese, but it was worth it. I just bought a house too. It’s small, but it’s all mine.”

Gavin’s hard work humbled me. As proud of myself as I was for busting my ass these last two months, he’d done it for years—had gone without to achieve his goals, no complaining.

“You’ll get there,” he said with an understanding smile. “I know how it feels.”

It hit me then, why I had connected with him so quickly. Gavin had a strong sense of pride, but he didn’t let that get in the way of what needed to be done. He wasn’t dropping cash on a bunch of material things like expensive shoes or a sexy car. Money was important to him, but it wasn’t everything—just a means to an end.

He intrigued me.

We changed topics and talked for another hour. He told me a few stories about his childhood, how his sisters used to make him play dolls with them. The affection in his voice made it clear how close they were.

When we finished up our meal, we walked to the car. The ride was quiet but not uncomfortable. I found myself closing my eyes and leaning my head back on the headrest. Something about telling him the truth had taken a weight off my chest.

I needed to stop feeling ashamed and embarrassed about what had happened. I hadn’t done anything to deserve this. She’d wronged me, not the other way around.

“We’re here,” Gavin said a few minutes later then shut the car off.

The car was dark, but I could feel his gaze on me, and my skin grew tight with anticipation. My palms began to sweat; I wiped them on my skirt. I wanted to kiss Gavin right now. Wanted to lean across the seat and taste his mouth. Plunge my hands into his hair.

I couldn’t fight these feelings anymore. And I didn’t want to. Gavin flooded my senses. Intoxicated me.

I was starting to fall for the guy, as crazy as it sounded.

“I…should go in,” I said. I didn’t want to. And I knew he could hear that in my voice. My pulse picked up, and my breathing got faster.

He leaned toward me, his lips far too tantalizingly close. It would be easy to close the gap between us. “Yeah, you probably should.”

It was so hard for me to pull away, but I did. I opened the door and stepped out of the car.

Before I closed the door, Gavin said, “Anna?”

I looked over my shoulder to see his eyes hot and hungry on mine. Oh, God. “Yes?”

There was an undertone of sexiness in his voice that came out with his next words. “I love those heels.”

When I got inside, I went right to my room, kicked off my shoes and dug out my phone. Dialed. “Steven,” I said when I got his voicemail, “we need to talk. Immediately. Give me a call when you get this.”

Early Thursday afternoon, after I got home from work, I sat on the couch, staring at my phone. My heart was so nervous it stuttered. Was I really about to do this? Dump a guy over the phone?

What other options did I have though? Not like I could hop in my car and drive to New York City or grab a last-minute flight out there. And Steven hadn’t returned my call last night, despite the urgent tone in my voice.

My gut twisted as I dialed him again. No answer, just voicemail.
Shit.
I hung up. Even douchier than breaking up on the phone was to do it in voicemail. I stalked over to the kitchen and grabbed a soda can out of the fridge. Popped it open and chugged. It was a bit too early to go for the hard stuff, so no liquid courage for me.

I knew if there was something wrong—if Steven had been injured somehow—that Fiona would have called me about that. In fact, she’d sent me a breezy text yesterday of her at her country club’s indoor tennis courts.

So why was Steven avoiding me? Maybe
he
wanted to break up with
me
and didn’t know how to do it?

I sank into the kitchen chair and stared at the chipped surface. How did that possibility make me feel? Sad, sure. But also…relieved.

And that told me everything. It was time to let go of this relationship. Stop feeling guilty over my attraction and do the grown-up thing. Even if it was bad to dump him in voicemail, at least I’d be putting on my big-girl panties and doing it. Unlike Steven, who was pretty much ignoring me now.

And unlike my mom, who hadn’t even tried to talk to me or my dad before she’d walked out, leaving nothing more than a friggin’ note for us.

I would own this fully, not run from it anymore.

I went back into the living room, grabbed my phone and dialed again. Voicemail.

“Steven,” I said as firmly as possible, “I’ve been trying to reach you since Sunday. You haven’t returned any of my calls or texts.” I dragged in a breath, and my stomach quivered with nervousness. “I’m truly sorry, but this relationship isn’t working for me anymore. I think we should break up. You’re a wonderful guy, and I’m really sorry to do this over the phone. But it’s the right thing, even if this wasn’t the way I’d like to handle it. We’ve been growing apart. If you get this message and want to talk, give me a call. I still care about you and want you to be happy. Um, goodbye.”

I hung up, and a twinge of bittersweet sadness filled my heart. I couldn’t help but wonder about my part in all of this. If I’d told him the truth, what would have happened? Would he have dumped me? Would he have tried to help us out?

I didn’t know. But I was certain I’d still have this deep, compelling attraction for Gavin. Something about the two of us clicked. He got me in a way no one else ever had.

Oh wow, I was free now.

I was ready to take that leap, see what could happen between the two of us. Of course, I was making a huge assumption that, now that I was single, he’d want to date me. Crap, was I reading too much into our interactions?

I chewed on my nail and fought back the anxiety threatening to overtake my brain. Gavin had called me beautiful. Those heated looks he’d thrown my way at the bar, at pizza, even at bowling hadn’t been in my head.

He was definitely attracted to me too.

That got my stomach fluttering in a whole different way.

To distract myself from these thoughts, I dialed Kyle and left him a voicemail, asking for a status on how the search for my mom was going. Then I took a quick shower to get the smell of cafeteria food and cleaners off my body and got dressed in a super-soft cashmere sweater and a flattering pair of jeans.

I put on a neutral eyeshadow, a touch of blush and mascara and slicked a kissably smooth gloss across my lips. Fluffed my hair. God, I hoped I wasn’t about to make a total idiot of myself.

Only one way to find out.

My phone buzzed. I answered—it was Kyle. “Hello?”

“Anna,” he said in his usual brusque tone. “Unfortunately, no updates yet. Thought I had a potential lead, but it wasn’t her.”

My stomach sank. “Oh. Well, I appreciate the call.”

“Something you can do to help. Can you find out exactly when your parents talked on the phone? She was at the airport, right? We can see which flights left around that time.”

“Oh. That’s a great idea. Sure, I’ll ask my dad.” The sinking feeling went away. I never would have thought of doing that—guess it was good I’d reached out to Kyle. Suddenly I felt better about hiring him.

We hung up, and I bundled up and checked the time on my phone. School should be letting out any time now. I was a nervous mess as I hopped on my bike and made my way back there. The cold air bit my face, but I didn’t care.

When I arrived, the parking lot was almost empty. I muttered a curse. Hopefully I hadn’t missed him. But I hadn’t wanted to talk to him while smelling like a food court.

I locked my bike up and made my way through the double doors and into the school. It was quiet. The walk to Gavin’s classroom was long. Anticipation hummed in my veins. I had no idea what I was going to tell him. I just prayed he’d give us a chance.

Because I wanted that
so
much.

I reached his door and paused for a moment, pressing a hand to my stomach. I drew in a few steadying breaths. My stupid hands were shaking like crazy.

Oh God, I hoped I wasn’t going to look like a total idiot here. If he wasn’t interested in dating, I’d leave the classroom with my head held high. Then I’d bury myself under my blankets for the rest of my life. No biggie.

I smothered a nervous laugh and peeked through the glass pane of the door. Gavin was at his desk, hunched over and scrawling on pieces of paper.

You totally got this,
I said in a frantic pep talk.
Just be cool and easy.
And for God’s sake, don’t blurt it out.

I rapped on the door with my knuckles, and his head darted up. When he saw me, the heat in his green eyes flared, which made my lower belly clench in response. Those eyes were going to kill me.

He waved me in, and I entered, my hands thrust into my jean pockets to keep from doing something stupid, like ripping off his shirt and licking his chest.

“Hey. I thought you were done with work already.” He paused and took in my outfit, his gaze a caress. “You changed clothes, Anna.”

My nod was wooden. I swallowed, fighting the squeeze in my lungs. “Yeah. I did.” My heart was hammering so hard I could swear he probably heard it.

Gavin stood from his desk and made his way around to me. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, the muscles flexing with his movement as he reached a hand over to stroke the sleeve of my sweater. “I love cashmere.” His tone was husky, sensual.

Another nod. “Me too.”

His eyes locked on mine, and he dropped his hand and took a step back. “What can I do for you?” Now his voice was all professional.

“I broke up with Steven,” I blurted, followed by an embarrassed,
“Shit.”
I closed my eyes and winced.
Nice job, dumbass.
Exactly the thing I hadn’t wanted to do.

The room was so quiet I could hear our mingling breaths.

“Why did you do that?” he finally asked. When I looked at him, I saw caution in his eyes.

I sucked in a breath through my mouth. Exhaled. Cast my gaze around the kindergarten classroom, with its neat rows of desks and toys and books. “Because it wasn’t the right thing for me anymore.”

He took a step toward me. His eyes grew hooded as I peered into them. “And why is that?”

Say it.
“Because I met you, Gavin,” I said in a breathless rush.

He stared at me for a long, intense moment, and I couldn’t read his face. Then he walked away from me.

My hopes fell, and I sagged. Until I saw him close and lock the door to the room then drop the blinds over the door’s glass pane. When he turned around, the hunger in his eyes was so potent that it sucked the oxygen out of my lungs. I almost grew dizzy; my skin tingled in anticipation.

Gavin backed me against the freshly cleaned chalkboard, cupped the back of my head with one hand, then lowered his mouth to mine. The other hand snaked around my waist, and I was helpless to do anything but cling to his shoulders as his tongue slid along the seam of my lips.

I opened to him. Gasped when he deepened the kiss, his body pressed hard against mine. I was pinned, hardly able to breathe. Our tongues slid together, and I tasted his male flavor, tinged with a hint of mint. My panties dampened; I ground my hips against his. He was hard, prominent, and his pelvis pressed even more firmly against mine.

His hand slid from my waist to my ass, and he cupped me there with a strong grip. I couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but taste and feel. He jerked away from my mouth and ran kisses along my jaw, down my throat.

“I want to taste you everywhere,” he said. Then he swiped his tongue under my ear.

I shuddered, dug my nails into his back. My whole body was throbbing with a painful ache for him. I licked the shell of his ear, wiggled against him, my nipples beading.

Gavin’s other hand moved from my head to the front of my waist. He stroked my upper belly in slow circles, silently asking for permission.

“Yes, please,” I panted, and his hand skated across my bare stomach before shifting up. I pressed my breast into his palm and sighed in pleasure as he squeezed and then swirled his thumb over the aching tip.

I was so hungry for him. Desperate, even. I dropped my hand to cup his length, and he groaned. His teeth bit my collarbone. The fingers at my breast slid the bra cup off and stroked my bare skin.