Once Upon A Time (Historical Romance) (15 page)

16

Three days had passed since Jilliana and Ruyen had quarreled. She saw Ruyen only from a distance, and that suited her just fine. She enjoyed Sir Edward's amiable companionship much more than Ruyen's indifference. Sir Edward was attentive and concerned about her comfort. She had not known that a man could be so courteous.

Each night she would wearily climb into bed, every muscle aching from the continuous riding. Tonight she was lonely and considered visiting Cassandra's tent, but thought better of it. Ruyen might be with his sister.

When she heard a familiar voice call out, she invited Humphrey to enter. She smiled brightly at him and bade him sit.

"You must have sensed that I needed a diversion, Humphrey. I tire easily of my own company."

He remained standing, his eyes fixed on the tip of his brown leather boot. She could tell that something was troubling him.

"Sit, my old friend, tell me what is the matter."

At last he dropped down on the stool, his eyes raised to hers. "It's about Sir Edward."

"He isn't ailing, is he?"

"Not in the way you mean, but ailing all the same."

"You speak in riddles, Humphrey. In what way does he suffer?"

"First, I should tell you something about the young knight. He was only belted last May. He is his father's only son."

"I know this. Sir Edward told me about his family. He has three older sisters."

"Aye, that he does. But did he tell you that he is betrothed to Lady Jane, a young woman from a good family that he has known all his life?"

"No, he did not tell me that. I hope she is worthy of him."

"I fear that when he returns to Talshamar, Lady Jane will find that he is less infatuated with her."

Jilliana frowned. "This is serious. What has happened to make him change his mind?"

Humphrey looked sorrowfully into her eyes. "You happened to him, Your Majesty. How can he go home to the young girl he is betrothed to when he has been blinded by your magnificence? All he can talk about is you. He can hardly sleep at night for planning what he will say to you next morn. He is suffering, Your Majesty. Cut him loose."

Jilliana shook her head and stood slowly. "How dare you say this to me! Think you that I would toy with Sir Edward's affections? I have said nothing to him that would make him think I hold him in any light but a trusted and valiant companion."

"Perhaps it is difficult for you to see yourself as do the Talshamarians. Your lords have lived and talked of the day when you would return. They loved you without ever seeing you, but it was the love a subject has for his sovereign. With Sir Edward it is different. You singled him out, allowed him to ride beside you. In his eyes, you bestowed your favor upon him."

She wanted to cry. Humphrey had never before criticized her, and it was an arrow to her heart. "Sir Edward knows that I have a husband."

"He also knows that your husband no longer seeks your bed, but rather prefers to sleep under the stars each night."

Shame burned her cheeks. "Am I then the jest of everyone because my husband does not want me?"

"Nay, Your Majesty. None here jest about the sovereign they adore. Like myself, they are sad that you were forced by chance to marry a man who does not suit you."

She placed her hand on his. "What shall I do?"

"Whatever it is, it had best be soon. Sir Edward has gone so far as to suggest he might challenge Prince Ruyen to a joust. That is why I have come to you, to stop this madness before it goes too far. Prince Ruyen is a seasoned warrior—he would probably kill Sir Edward."

"Oh, Humphrey, I thought I was lonely at Our Lady of Sorrow, but that was nothing compared to the loneliness I feel now. I cannot even bestow my friendship on those who serve me."

"I have heard your mother say the same many times. To be chosen to rule is an isolated road when you have no one to walk with you. Isolated, because you cannot reach out to your knights for comfort, lest they aspire to reach for the sun. You are all the glory of the sun to Sir Edward, Your Majesty. But in reaching so high, he would be burned to a cinder."

"I understand." Her eyes were swimming with tears. "I will cut Sir Edward loose as you suggested." She moved to the back of the tent and then turned to Humphrey. "Will you inform my husband that I want to see him?"

Humphrey bowed, and backed toward the opening. "I will do so at once, Your Majesty."

Jilliana paced back and forth while waiting for Ruyen. What if he refused her request? What would she do then? For that matter, what would she do if he came?

The tent flap was thrown aside and Ruyen ducked his head and entered. Chilling brown eyes stared into hers.

"You sent for me, Your Majesty?" he asked in a condescending voice, sweeping into an exaggerated bow. "I hastened to you as soon as his lordship informed me my presence was required."

She gave him her most disdainful look, her anger making it easier to say what she wanted to relate to him. She raised her chin just the merest bit, her eyes trained not on his eyes, but on his chin.

"I have something of a delicate nature to say to you."

He crossed his arms, towering over her. "Dare I hope you have missed me in your bed and are inviting me back? Or can it be that Sir Edward did not play your stud in my absence?"

She balled her fists and drew back, ready to strike him, but he caught her wrist, holding it in a firm grip.

"I would not attempt that if I were you, Jilliana. I have never yet struck a woman, but I could easily break that rule for you."

She jerked away from him, rubbing her wrist, certain that there would be a bruise there by the morrow.

"It was a mistake to think I could talk to you. You may leave now," she said imperiously.

He moved to stand beside her. "What ails you, Jilliana? Did you tire of your little game?"

"I never play games."

"Do you not? Mayhap Sir Edward could not see what you were about, but I did. Did you think to make me jealous by your childish attentions to a boy hardly old enough to shave?"

She was indignant because he had guessed exactly what she had been trying to do. "I, make you jealous? Why would I bother? I merely made a mistake in judgment and wish to rectify it."

His voice was soft and taunting. "So the flawless beauty has a flaw. She makes mistakes. Pity."

It took all her courage to look into his eyes and not turn away as she spoke. "Mock me if you must, and strike me if you will, but I am asking you to sleep in my tent until we reach Falcon Bruine."

He looked stunned, as if he had not expected this from her. "Have you missed me, then?"

"It isn't that. It seems I was heedless with Sir Edward. I did not know that he would—that he would…"

"Lose his heart to you," Ruyen finished for her. "Any fool could see that he worships you, but why should you care about his feelings when you were using him to torment me?"

Her eyes widened. "Did I torment you?"

She watched his mouth arch into a cruel smile.

"Jilliana, no man fancies another man walking in the field he has plowed."

She was livid. It had been a mistake to send for him. He was insufferable, and she detested him.

"You dare say this to me?"

His voice was hard. "Did he lay in your bed?"

"No man save yourself has lain in my bed. And you will not again."

He watched her face to discern whether she was speaking true. That first day she had ridden beside Sir Edward he had been consumed with jealousy, and had wanted to kill the young knight every time he looked at Jilliana with adoring eyes.

Each night he had lain on his pallet, envisioning Sir Edward caressing Jilliana's satiny skin. He had even placed his pallet so he could watch the entrance of her tent, staying awake most of the night to make sure the young knight did not enter.

She had done this to him, turned him into a fool, a dolt, who hungered for her smiles every bit as much as Sir Edward.

"You may go," she said after a long silence. "I do not want you in my tent after all."

He shook his head. "I'll go and gladly. But first tell me why you sent for me. And tell the truth because I shall know it if you do not."

She flung back her head. "It is nothing you would understand. I simply did not know I was hurting Sir Edward until Humphrey told me tonight. It seems I gave him hope that there could be something between us, and that was wrong of me. I do not want to hurt him any longer."

Ruyen had been watching her eyes as she spoke and saw the sincerity of her words. He had become cynical about women at an early age when he had learned that his mother bedded with many of his father's knights. He had known women who were titled, and those who were not, and they all played at love. They all liked to dangle a man until he squirmed. Even Katharine was well versed at this game. Was it possible that Jilliana was different?

"Then tell me why you singled him out to bestow your favor." He waited for her to spin some half-truth, or to invent some plausible reason.

She did not hesitate. "After the last night we spent together, I wanted to prove to you that I did not need you." She lowered her eyes, her long lashes sweeping her cheeks, and she looked very young and vulnerable.

Ruyen had never known a woman who spoke so truthfully, even if it put her at a disadvantage. Mayhap she had not yet learned to lie since she had spent most of her life in a convent. But she had surely learned something from Eleanor.

"I find the ground hard and uncomfortable. I will stay with you."

Jilliana was trying to keep her composure, but she felt it slipping. Being so near Ruyen made her want to reach out and touch him, to have him take her in his arms so she could lay her head on his broad shoulder and seek comfort there.

"You will not find the ground much softer here in my tent," she said, turning away.

His soft laughter made her turn back to him with an inquiring look.

"I have never won an argument with you since the day we met. You have put me in a spin, and I keep coming back for more."

"I do not believe you," she said haughtily. "No woman could best the mighty Prince Ruyen. No, you have no respect for any of us, except perhaps your sister and your lady love."

"Do you speak of Katharine?"

"Nay," she said tenaciously, "have you forgotten you forbade me to speak her name?"

He turned to her before leaving. "Any man who is foolish enough to forbid you anything, gets what he deserves." Laughing at her puzzled look, he swept her another bow. "With your royal permission, I beg to be allowed to fetch my bedding."

When he had gone, she stared at the flickering torchlight near the tent opening. He could be the most maddening man she had ever met.

She quickly undressed and got into bed. Turning her face to the tent wall, she waited. Moments passed and still he did not return. At last she heard him enter, but she pretended to be asleep.

Jilliana was aware of his every move. She could hear him making his bed, close to her. After he extinguished the light, she heard him removing his clothing, and she could envision his body, strong, muscled and so beautiful.

She sighed, wishing she had not been forced to ask him to share her tent. His presence disturbed her peace of mind.

After a long silence, she heard him laugh softly.

"Good night, Jilliana."

She did not answer. Long after she heard the steady breathing that told her he slept, she lay awake, listening to the noises coming from the camp. She could hear men laughing and talking, and finally even that ceased.

The long night stretched before her, and she had time to think about her new life that demanded so much from her. She had not realized that by favoring Sir Edward, she had hurt him.

She had grown up in a convent and then had lived a secluded life with Eleanor. Eleanor had prepared her for many things, but not the knowledge and insight into the mind of a man. Especially not a man like Ruyen. He was complex, brooding, and distrustful others. More than that, he did not like her, and she did not know how to win his favor.

Turning to her stomach, she closed her eyes, waiting for the sun to rise. She was too troubled to sleep this— night.

17

Sir Edward kept pace with Humphrey, his eyes on the man he despised most in the world, the queen's husband. He felt sick inside every time Prince Ruyen looked at the queen, touched her, or laughed at some witticism she made. It should be he, not the prince, who rode beside Queen Jilliana.

"I don't like what you are thinking, Edward. Put your feelings for the queen where they belong," Humphrey said abruptly. "She is not for the likes of you. She is royalty, you are not."

Edward's voice was harsh. "He is not good enough for her."

"Is any man? Certainly not you."

"He does not love her."

"Since when have you become an authority on love? Go home, Edward. Take your Lady lane, and marry her."

"My heart is too full of love for the queen to think of any other woman."

"If the prince suspected what you are feeling, he would probably carve your heart out, and I would help him."

"He has no right!" the young knight said with fire in his eyes.

"He has every right. She is his wife."

"We all know why she married him. Tis a pity."

Humphrey glared at Sir Edward. "Cease your sniveling, or I'll run you through myself. Her Majesty was kind to you, nothing more. She is kind to everyone. She would never think of you other than as her liegeman. God's blood, you are a fool if you can't see that Her Majesty loves her husband."

"Nay, she cannot love a man who is boorish, uncaring, and unmindful of her comfort. Were she mine—"

"She is not, nor will she ever be. You will not speak thus again, nor will you approach the queen unless she sends for you—and I think she will not."

Angrily, Sir Edward spurred his horse and galloped on ahead, out of reach of Humphrey's criticism.

Humphrey shook his head, wondering what would happen when Jilliana realized for herself that she loved Prince Ruyen. She had been too innocent and unworldly to be exposed to a man with Ruyen's appeal to women. On the other hand, Humphrey was not certain how the prince felt about Jilliana. He was a man who hid his feelings and was mistrustful of others. Humphrey was afraid that the two of them would never find happiness together.

Though Humphrey would stay ever near her to shield her against harm of the physical kind, he could do nothing to protect her from her own heart.

In the two weeks that followed, they set a steady pace. Soon they would reach the shore; sea birds now glided above them and Jilliana could taste the salty mist on her tongue.

It was late afternoon when they finally sighted the sea. The tents had been erected in a meadow of wildflowers with a forest of spiny woods in the distance.

Jilliana walked to the edge of a steep cliff, seeing several ships below flying the crimson flags of Talshamar.

Humphrey had taken charge and made certain that everything was in readiness. He was now directing the men to stow the cargo in the ships' holds.

Jilliana had decided that only one ship would make the voyage to Falcon Bruine, while the others would take her men home to Talshamar. If only she had not given Henry her word that she would go to Falcon Bruine, she could return to the land of her heart.

She heard footsteps and turned, finding Ruyen standing just behind her.

"I never thought to see my home again, Jilliana. I am impatient to return."

She watched men carrying supplies up long gangplanks. "Tell me about your island." She turned to look at him, watching as a slight breeze rippled through the strands of his dark hair and his brown eyes took on a faraway look.

"It is a fertile land that once yielded great harvests—that was in my grandfather's day. My father was more a warrior than a king. He spent most of his life in the Holy Land, fighting what he called a 'necessary war' against the Infidel."

"And your mother, did she also go to the Holy Land? I know Eleanor did."

"No, she remained behind, serving as regent."

"Like now?"

He did not answer for a long moment, and she could tell that he was troubled. When he did speak, it was not about his mother, but the land he loved.

"Being an island, Falcon Bruine has rarely been attacked by those from the outside. The waters are treacherous, and without an experienced pilot enemy ships know not where to anchor."

"Then Henry's troops must have had someone helping them who knew the waters."

The muscles in Ruyen's jaw tightened. He could not tell her that his own mother had probably given the English a map of the coast. "I have provided your captain a detailed map so he will have no trouble navigating the dangerous currents."

"Why did you leave?"

"Because my father found out that Henry was secretly negotiating behind his back to take over Falcon Bruine. We had no choice but to take up arms against England and try to place Richard on the throne."

"I have oft' thought that you did not truly believe in Richard's cause," Jilliana observed.

"Whether I believed or not had little to do with my reason for agreeing to join him. My father was an old man—I could not let him go to war alone—and I could not allow Henry to take over Falcon Bruine without a fight."

"Cassandra told me that you were not with your father when he died."

"It was Richard's plan that we split our forces. My father would come at Henry's troops from the right, I would come from the left, and Richard from behind. My father died, I was taken prisoner, and I have heard that Richard has now reconciled with his father."

She placed her hand on his shoulder. "Sometimes I can almost feel your pain. Have you been so betrayed that you can trust no one?"

Ruyen drew in a deep breath. "If one lives long enough, one will know betrayal many times. I have come to expect it as the rule."

She withdrew her hand. "Then I pity you."

His gaze dropped to hers. "Save your pity for those who want it. I do not."

She watched him turn and walk away, wondering what demons possessed his mind. He had no trust for anyone, no faith in anything—the exception being his young sister.

She turned back to the ships, thinking tomorrow would be a wonderful adventure, if only she were going to Talshamar. She would remain on Falcon Bruine no longer than necessary. As soon as she knew she was with child, she would ask Humphrey to take her home.

Night was falling when Jilliana returned to camp. She saw Sir Edward waiting for her in front of her tent, and she greeted him with a smile. He dropped to his knees and bowed his head. "Your Majesty, I have come to ask something of you."

She saw Ruyen talking to another knight nearby, but his eyes were on her, his expression inscrutable.

"Stand, Sir Edward, and tell me what it is that you want."

"Your Majesty, I beg you, give me the right to accompany you to the Isle of Falcon Bruine. Allow me to place my sword at your service."

Jilliana glared at Ruyen, who had crossed his arms and was now giving her and Sir Edward his full attention. Deliberately, she turned to look into Sir Edward's earnest blue eyes.

"I require you to travel to Talshamar and help with the preparations for my return. I will want you to see that the castle is made ready."

Disappointment was clearly written on his face. "I will do as you bid me, Your Majesty."

She moved to her tent and paused, looking back at the young knight. "And, Sir Edward, I will ask something else of you."

"Anything, Madame."

"I will want to meet your wife when I arrive in Talshamar. 1 believe I was told that you were betrothed to a Lady Jane."

He bowed to her. "I will always do as you ask. But may I speak honestly with Your Majesty?"

"You may."

"I love not Lady Jane, nor have I seen her since I was but ten and two. The marriage was arranged by our parents, and I have heard that she has no more liking for our joining than have I."

Jilliana thought for a moment. She believed the young knight spoke the truth, and she relented. "Very well, Sir Edward, you may accompany me to Falcon Bruine. My husband and I have need of those who are loyal to us. Do you understand my meaning?"

He could not meet her eyes. She was telling him that he had stepped over the bounds of chivalry. She was reminding him of his place—and it was not at her side.

"I want only to be your liege man."

Jilliana moved into her tent, not wanting to see Ruyen's smug reaction. She was somehow angry, and she could not have said why.

Princess Cassandra had witnessed Sir Edward's devotion to his queen. She thought him the most noble and handsome of knights. When he glanced at her, she smiled shyly, but he merely gave her a quick bow and hurried away.

Jilliana looked at Ruyen's pallet and kicked at it, wishing it was her husband himself she was kicking.

They had not shared a bed since the night they had quarreled about Sir Edward. Tomorrow they would sail for Ruyen's country, and she was more than a little apprehensive about what awaited her.

A brisk wind swelled the silken sails as Jilliana stood on board the ship that would take them to the Isle of Falcon Bruine. Her cloak was billowing in the misty breeze and she breathed in the salt air. She had never been on board a ship that she could remember, and she found it exciting. The crew all scurried about as if they had nothing in mind but her comfort and safety.

When she glanced to her right, she watched the three ships that were departing for Talshamar. It had been difficult to say good-bye to those she had come to know so well.

Humphrey stood beside her, sensing much of what she was feeling. "The world has never seen the likes of the celebration Talshamar will have to welcome their queen home."

"Are you certain they will welcome me?"

"Aye, more readily than you can imagine."

"Humphrey," she said without conceit, "it is not easy to know what is right."

"You speak of Sir Edward?"

"Aye."

"I was surprised that you are allowing him to accompany us to Falcon Bruine."

"I tried to send him home, and I suggested to him that he should marry his betrothed once he reached Talshamar, but he said they were not suited to one another. I thought that if I sent him away after showing him such marked attention, the others would ridicule him. Did I do wrong?"

Humphrey chuckled. "You did no wrong. I think the young nobleman has learned his lesson. And you are right, the others would have mocked him."

"This is all so new to me, and it is difficult to know what is to be done, Humphrey."

He placed his gloved hand over hers. "Since the crown was placed on your head, you have behaved as a queen should. I should think that the difficult part of ruling is in knowing when to be forgiving and when to stand fast." He smiled. "You have done both, and very well."

She drew in a trembling breath. "I am unsure of many things that I do, Humphrey. And, I am most assuredly frightened."

"But you do not show your fear, and that, too, is the mark of a queen."

"Humphrey, it seems as though my life has never belonged to me. Until now, I have been under the dictates of others. But when I reach Talshamar, that will change. I shall need you beside me at that time more than ever."

"I shall stand at your side as long as you need me," he assured her.

"What do you know of Ruyen's mother?"

"I know nothing good of her. She was the younger daughter of an unimportant lord from some obscure Castilian province—Visby 1 believe was the name of the holding. It is said that her husband never knew a peaceful day after marrying her. It is also said that she betrayed her husband and son to Henry, but this I do not know for certain."

"Eleanor warned me against her, and I can see why. I cannot imagine any woman allowing harm to come to her own children."

"That woman is ambitious and malevolent, and Eleanor was right, you must be wary of her. If she sees you as a threat, she will not hesitate to harm you. I have heard it whispered that she has knowledge of herbs and plants and is a master at the art of poisons."

"Eleanor chose me to save this family, and it looks as if I am not yet finished. They may be in as much danger in their homeland as they were in England." Jilliana stared pensively into the distance. "I like Cassandra, and I pity her because she seems so sad, but I do not know what can be done to help her. Ruyen is reluctant to accept anything from me, but it is not in my nature to stand back when someone is in need."

"I have noticed that about you, but sometimes you should think of your own needs. You should rest now, you look pale," he said gently. "There will be arduous days ahead."

Jilliana had been feeling light-headed, and the churning sea made her feel ill. "Yes, I shall go to lie down now."

Jilliana raised her gaze to Prince Ruyen, who stood in the bow of the ship. When their eyes met, he turned away.

She took a step toward the curtained area that had been erected to give privacy to her and Cassandra, then glanced over her shoulder at Humphrey.