Once Kissed: An O'Brien Family Novel (The O'Brien Family) (27 page)

“This isn’t where I fucking belong,” I growl. I’m beyond pissed, and started typing my resignation letter at least six times today only to delete it. Yet for as much as I don’t want to head the Sexual Assault and Child Abuse Unit, I’m not a quitter. “Fuck,” I mumble, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Fuck.”

My brother Curran crosses his arms over his chest, not caring how it creases the shirt of his Philly PD uniform. But Curran doesn’t care about shit like that. “It’s still a promotion, Deck,” he says. “You got this DA spot straight out of law school and have made more of a name for yourself than most douchebag attorneys ever will.” He holds up a hand. “No offense.”

“Which is why I should be leading the Homicide Unit.”

I shove away from my desk and pace. When Miles gave me these new digs, I thought it was just the start of all the good things coming my way. When he assigned me a county car and personal secretary, it only reinforced that my hard work had paid off. I was on my way. Until I wasn’t.

“I spent months dismantling a mafia empire, Curran.”

“I know,” he says. “I was there.”

“I brought down a major crime boss—and his second in command, and his third.”

“Yup. Saw that, too,” he agrees.

“I received international attention—the trial of the century, the media called it—and for what? To be shoved someplace I don’t belong.”

“Why don’t you think you belong there?”

Out of all my five brothers, Curran is probably the biggest ball-buster. But he’s not messing with me now. He’s being serious.

“Do
you
want to hear about babies being beaten or women dragged into alleys and raped?” I demand. “These are the cases I’m going to be dealing with every day.”

“Someone has to do it, Deck. It’s the right thing.”

“I’m not saying it isn’t. I’m only saying I may not be the man for the job. This shit’s disgusting, what these lowlife assholes are capable of.”

“Is this about Finnie?” He huffs when I straighten and don’t answer. “Christ,” he mutters.

Just like that, my brother nails it on the head. For all he sometimes pisses me off, my brother isn’t stupid or blind. “Finnie didn’t deserve what happened to him,” I say, feeling my anger burn down to my gut.

“Of course he didn’t,” Curran snaps. “No one does. But as his brother, you owe it to him to put the pieces of filth like the guy who hurt him away.”

I sit back in my chair and rub my jaw. “I don’t know if I can.”

Our youngest brother was sexually assaulted by a neighbor when he was ten. It screwed with his mind, and despite his jokes and his good days, his bad days are still really bad. What he doesn’t realize is that we’ve all suffered, too. Not like he has—of course not like he has. That doesn’t mean we don’t hurt for him or haven’t spent sleepless nights worried what he’ll do to himself.

Nothing bad was supposed to happen to Finnie. He was the baby. The one who counted on us. And the one we were all supposed to keep safe.

With this new assignment, hearing stories like Finnie’s on a regular basis? Goddamnit, it’s bad enough he’s starting to spiral downward again. I huff. “I don’t think I can do this,” I say yet again.

“Deck, you have to, man.”

A knock on the door interrupts us. I know who it is before I even ask. “Come in,” I say, assuming my attorney pose because for now, I have to. For now, I’m a professional. Even though all the Philly boy in me wants to do is rage.

My boss, Miles Fenske, walks in, followed by his daughter, Melissa. Miles smiles warmly, nodding my way.

Mel? What can I say? She’s the one person who’s never been taken by my charm. Today’s no different. Unlike the other females who work here, from interns to attorneys, she doesn’t meet me with a grin, doesn’t flash me a little leg, doesn’t pretend to flirt. Brown hair, brown eyes, creamy skin, with a stony exterior, she walks in with her hips swinging as her bright red dress hugs her hourglass figure, her full lips press into a firm line, and her unyielding stare meets mine.

She doesn’t like me. Not that I blame her. Too bad this is the one woman I can’t seem to get out of my damn mind….

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