On the Other Side (18 page)

Damita smiled to hold back the tears. “Yes, Mom, I hear you.”

Damita hugged her mother and held on to her tightly, not wanting to let go. She couldn't help but think how much simpler things were when she was little and could run to her mother or father when she was hurting and they would kiss it and make it all better. She was happy to see that there were those times when her mother could still do that.

As she was saying goodbye to her mother, she could see Tina across the street with a large box in her hands. She was being escorted out by security. Damita didn't want to ruin the time she had spent with her mother with talks of Neal. But, as she saw Tina put the box she was carrying into the trunk of a car, she wondered if Neal had anything to do with why she was leaving.

“Goodbye, baby,” Karen said, as she headed for the subway.

“Bye, Mom. I'll talk to you soon. I promise.”

After lunch, Damita stopped by Wendy's office. “I shouldn't be engaging in office gossip, but I have to know. Do you know anything about why Tina was leaving here with a large box and security in tow?”

“Of course I do. Apparently, she has developed quite the little drug habit and was caught embezzling money.”

Damita shook her head. “That doesn't make any sense. With bonus and salary, she has to pull in six figures easy. She's single, with no family. How much drug money could someone possibly need?”

Wendy waved her hand. “It would appear, a lot. From what I've been hearing it was a lot of money and the firm is probably going to press charges.”

“You've got to be kidding me. You know this would never have happened if she hadn't hooked up with Neal. I'm starting to think that man is evil incarnate.”

“I'm glad you're
starting
to think that. You need to know it and believe it. That's the only way you are going to
truly
sever all ties.”

“I will. I'm waiting for things to level out. I've already left. Now all I need to do is file for divorce and it will be over.”

Wendy pursed her lips and shook her head regretfully. “Judging from what you have told me about Neal and what I've seen firsthand, it may take more than filing for divorce to get rid of a man like him. I understand your hesitation. Someone like Neal can be very frightening and intimidating. You're afraid to go and you're afraid to stay. But, believe me, you need to decide that it's over not only so it's clear to him, but also so that it's clear to you. Until you do that, you will not be in a position intellectually or emotionally to do all that you need to do to get him out of your life for once and for all. There's something I've considered showing you several times, but I chickened out. After getting to know you better, I realize it's something you must see.”

Wendy pulled down the shades, before pulling up her shirt. Straight down the middle of her chest was a terrible scar.

“Oh my God, Wendy, what happened?”

“Alex is what happened. He was fun and exciting from the moment I met him. He was like a drug for me at first. Then, he started to get possessive and out of control. By the time he started hitting me and I realized he was completely insane, he was following me, confronting my friends, both male and female; and showing up at my job. I got an order of protection and for about six months it seemed like it had worked and he was finally gone, until one day I was coming back from the movies with a date. Alex stabbed us both multiple times. I was a lot luckier than my friend, Lucas. He didn't make it. I, on the other hand was stabbed in the heart.

“For years I wondered if the gesture was meant to be poetic or if it was merely where the blade happened to land. A portion of my lung had to be removed and my left ventricle and left atrium had to be repaired. I'm still not sure what took longer to repair, my mind
or my body. As if to add insult to injury, Alex's parents hired him a hot-shot lawyer, who used a defense called
settled insanity
, which basically means if you've been using drugs for a really long time, you can plead temporary insanity, if you hurt or kill someone. According to Alex's attorney, Alex was not only a long-term drug user, but he had personality defects that predisposed him to psychosis. Therefore, according to his defense, Alex's
psychosis
on the night he attacked Lucas and I was triggered by chronic substance abuse. He was found not guilty by reason of insanity, based on the contention that temporary psychosis not caused by an episode of intoxication constitutes settled insanity and qualifies as a complete defense.

“As soon as I found out he would not be going to prison, I made preparations to leave California and move someplace where he would never find me. That's how I ended up here. I was forced to uproot my entire life and move to a new city in order to stay alive. Even though I'm here and he's there, there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about what will happen when he's released from the hospital.”

Damita looked at Wendy with a questioning gaze. “Wendy, can I ask you one question; if you had it to do all over again, would you make the same decision? Would you still leave it all behind; your family, your friends?”

Wendy responded strongly and without reservation. “I absolutely would. That's what we do, isn't it; whatever we have to in order to stay alive?”

Damita's face and even her body seemed as though she had been deflated. She slumped in the chair, feeling lost.

Damita was on the verge of crying. “Wendy, I just don't know if I could ever have enough strength to leave it all behind; my family, my friends, my career. It's my entire identity.”

“Only you know how dire the situation is. Is there no other way? Could the police be of any help? These are all questions you need to ask yourself. You also need to ask yourself whether or not it's indeed dire enough to consider leaving, then what is your identity worth? Is it worth your life? After all, you can't enjoy that identity if you're not alive.”

D
amita's cell phone rang sometime around five a.m. She already knew who it was. Neal had been calling every day, sometimes several times a day. When he figured out that he couldn't get through to her at work, he started calling Carmella's home phone number. He would almost always call her cell phone immediately after every call. Carmella didn't think she should speak to him, but Damita realized that she couldn't avoid him forever.

“Hello, Neal,” she said.

“Hello, Damita. How are you?”

“I'm fine.”

“When are you coming home?”

“Neal, I'm not coming home. That's not my home anymore.”

“You're my wife.”

“Why is that your answer for everything I say? Being your wife doesn't mean I belong to you. I'm not your property. You can't do whatever you want to me and expect me to grin and bear it. I've had more injuries in the two months since we've been married than I've ever had in my entire life. It's not healthy. I loved you. I wanted more than anything for our marriage to work. When we got married it didn't even occur to me that it wouldn't work. In my mind you were the perfect man. You're far from perfect. There aren't many things I'm afraid of, but you scare me.”

“I can't believe after all we meant to each other that you won't give me another chance.”

“I've already done that. You did the same thing all over again. This is my life we're talking about. The last time you beat me I thought you were going to kill me. Not only that, you're doing drugs again. You didn't complete your time in rehab. All of these things add up to bad news for me.”

“You keep talking about you. What about me? What about what I've been through. I haven't been able to function without you. My business is suffering. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I need you. I can't live without you.”

“Neal, the difference between you and me is I'm not hurting you.”

“You are. You are hurting me. Every day that you're not here is agony for me.”

“That's not what I meant.” She sighed. “Neal, I have to get ready for work. I can't do this now.”

“Aren't we as important as your precious job?”

“Neal, I've got to go.”

“Damita, if I can't be with you I might as well be dead.”

“Neal, stop it. I've been trying to make sense of all of this. I've been reading everything I can about abuse and what you said is exactly what so many other men say. We made a mistake. Both of us made a mistake. Maybe the reason I anger you so much is because I'm not the woman for you.”

Damita knew that wasn't the reason. She knew enough about abuse to know that Neal had a problem and it wasn't anything she was doing or who she was.

“You're the only woman for me and I'm the only man for you. We belong together.”

“We only knew each other a year before we got married. We didn't
spend enough time together to get to know one another. We got married too quickly. It hasn't even been two years yet. Neal, that's such a small portion of a lifetime. We should call it a mistake and move on. I want to have a life; a happy life. We can't have that together. Too much has happened. There's nothing binding us together. We need to move on, Neal. We have to. This isn't good for either of us.”

“I told you when we got married that for me marriage is forever. There is no end for us. There will never be an end. If I can't have you I might as well be dead. There is no life for me without you.”

“Neal, you've got to stop this. You should go to rehab, get some counseling and you can begin again with someone else. We can both have a normal life, eventually.”

“If I do all that will you take me back?”

“It's over. Why aren't you listening to me? It's over.”

“You and I are not over. We will never be over,” he said, hanging up.

Although it was early, Damita decided she might as well get ready for work. She went to the kitchen and made coffee only to find Carmella's friend, Derrick, standing in front of the refrigerator in a robe.

“I'm sorry,” he said.

“No apologies necessary. I'm the one occupying Carmella's space. I'm the one who should be saying sorry.”

“That's not the case at all. Carmella has been so worried about you. I'm glad you're here. She doesn't worry as much with you close by for her to watch over. We both still think you should file a formal report and get an order of protection.”

“You've obviously been a police officer for a long time. Or, at
least long enough to make detective. Tell me something; are orders of protection truly effective?”

“The intended purpose is to protect you from further harm from someone who has hurt you; to keep the abuser away from you, or to stop harassing you, or keep the abuser from the scene of the violence, which may include your home, place of work, or apartment. It's a civil order, relatively easy to get, and it does not give the abuser a criminal record. For the abuse victim it just makes sense. There's no reason not to get an order of protection.”

“Wow, did you memorize that from a book?” Damita said, chuckling.

“It does sound rehearsed, huh? I've been doing this a
long
time.”

“So you know better than most whether it works or not. Tell me the truth. Do you really think that piece of paper will make a difference?”

“If you want the real truth, Damita, no, it won't save your life. It probably won't make much of a difference. However, you will have something documented in case—”

“In case of what?” Damita interrupted.

“In case you need to call the police.”

“And, in case I show up dead, right?”

“No, that is the purpose of the police. You should have gone to the police when he beat you the first time. At least, then they could have arrested him.”

“You and I both know he wouldn't have spent more than a day or two in jail.”

“You're probably right, but hasn't this happened more than once? The more times the offender goes before the judge the better his chances of serving real time. Unfortunately, you never made a formal report, so it's your word against his at this point, as far as
any earlier offenses are concerned. Did Carmella tell you I spoke to him?”

“Yes, she did.”

Derrick looked at Damita pointedly. “It was the first night you got here. I've got to tell you, he's a classic case of a sociopath. You combine that with his already demonstrated violence and that makes him very dangerous. He's not going to give up. They never do.”

“I keep hoping he'll meet someone and then I'll be free. He was fooling around with a girl in my office. She came to work one day with stitches over her eye and I'm ashamed to admit, I was relieved it was her and not me.”

“Don't feel guilty. It's understandable. You've been through a terrible ordeal. I could talk to him again if you'd like.”

“I thought about that. I'm afraid if you do, it will anger him even more. At least I've been able to avoid him since I've been here. And, thanks to my boss, he's on a list with building security. He's not allowed to even enter the building.”

“Well, that's something at least. The offer still stands. If you want me to speak to him again, I will. Think about it.”

“I will.”

Derrick smiled broadly. “Well, I better get Carmella's bowl of cereal to her. You have a good day.”

“Thanks, Derrick.”

Derrick joined Carmella in the bedroom with her bowl of cereal and got back in the bed with her.

“I hope you don't mind. I spoke to Damita about her situation,” Derrick said.

Carmella smiled appreciatively. “Of course I don't mind. Maybe you'll be able to get through to her better than I have. I keep telling her she needs to file for divorce immediately and let it all go, but she hasn't done anything yet. I don't know whether she's afraid or if that's an excuse to continue holding on and she actually still loves the bastard,” Carmella said.