On the Edge (19 page)

“I tried,” he says with resignation. I chuckle despite the situation we’re in.

“I will do my best to not do it again. Does that help?” I grab his hand and squeeze it.

I don’t ever want to shoot anyone again if I can help it. I’m not some badass killing machine. I would rather let the guys to handle this stuff in the future.

My fighter’s instinct is natural because of the way I was forced to live before coming to the Knights. I was always fighting my mom and people at school. Meeting Julie was the start of something good for me. I found my first friend who accepted me for who I am. This brings my swirling thoughts back to Julie and what is going on with her in the ER. I drum my fingers against my knees and my feet tap the floor. I’m jittery now and can’t sit still, so I pop up and pace back and forth in front of Cole. Seth clings to Bruce like a lifeline. I wonder where Trish is. She’s probably snorting powder up her nose and too high to show up. So much for missing her baby.

I walk by Bruce and Seth’s little eyes peek up at me. I can tell that Seth is scared and confused about what's going on. My heart breaks for the little boy who has been through something he should never have experienced. When several cops walk into the waiting room, my whole body tenses because I know they’re here to talk to us. As the officers walk up, the older of the two cops speaks.

“Mr. Knight, can we talk to you privately?” He motions to the other side of the waiting room.

“Seth, come sit with me.” I hold my hands out, and he lets go of his dad and leaps to me. His little arms wrap around my neck and he buries his face into my neck. Seth saw me shoot that guy and I wasn’t sure if he would willingly come to me. I hold tightly to him as we move back over to Cole and sit down. Cole reaches an arm around me and pulls us towards him so that my body presses into his. Exhausted, emotionally spent, and physically drained, I let Cole support my weight while I soothingly rub Seth’s little back. My eyes constantly dart to where Bruce is talking to the cops. I wish I could hear what is being said.

“He’s fallen asleep on you,” Cole whispers. His hand slides up my arm to offer support.

“I would have killed them if they had hurt Seth.”

“I think you would’ve,” Cole says with the smallest hint of amusement in his voice. “Do you want me to take him for a bit?”

I shake my head no and peek over at Drew. He’s been uncharacteristically quiet, and I’m surprised to see him sitting there with his head in his hands. This is not like my brother at all.

“Drew.” My whisper gets no response from him. “Drew!” I say a bit louder, trying not to wake Seth. He finally raises his head and looks at me. What I see shocks me. His eyes are red like he’s been crying. “Are you okay, Drew?” I ask softly.

“No! I mean, how could they do that to a girl like Julie?” he bites out. “What did she do to deserve that?”

It’s obvious my brother is feeling some type of guilt over what has happened, but I don’t know how to comfort him. Hell, I don’t even know how to comfort myself right now.

Justin bursts into the waiting room. I don’t know where he’s been, but I know he’s going fucking crazy. He has been out of his mind since she was taken, and honestly, this is the first time that I’ve ever seen Justin take something as being serious. Most people think of him as the jokester, but he is deeper than you think.

“How is she?” He directs his eyes at Cole.

“We don’t know, man,” Cole answers, his hand constantly moving up and down my arm. It’s the only sign from Cole that he is bothered more than he wants to admit. Bruce and the police finish and come back over to where we’re sitting. The older cop speaks to our group again, telling us that we each need to come down to the police station tomorrow to make statements. We agree to his request, and as they leave the hospital, Bruce comes, takes Seth from me, and sits down with his son in his lap. Trish still hasn’t shown up and I find myself getting angry with her all over again. I want to beat the fuck out of her. The double doors open and a nurse steps through them.

“Mr. Knight?” She calls out loudly. Bruce gazes up at her, and she walks over to us. “The testing is complete. The doctor’s given her a sedative to keep her pain free while we wait for test results. He wants to speak to you. Can you follow me?”

“Can we go sit with her now?” he asks, shifting in his chair.

“We can allow two of you back at a time,” she says.

“Give me Seth back, Bruce. I’ll sit with him. You and Justin should be with Julie right now.” I walk over to him and take Seth.

“Dad, I’m taking Kat and Seth back to the house.” Cole stands up and looks back and forth between his dad and me.

“That’s a good idea, son. There isn’t much anyone can do here.” He and Justin stand to follow the nurse.

“Bruce,” I call out, shifting from one foot to the other. “If she wakes, tell her I love her.” Then I turn to Cole and say, “Let’s go home.”

Cole places his hand on my lower back, guiding me forward. “Drew, you coming with us, man?” Drew’s eyes shift around as he has a silent conversation in his head.

“Pete, stay with Drew.” Cole says to his guard and friend.

Pete grunts an acknowledgment and moves over to a seat near Drew. My brother slouches back into the seat, looking lost, which make me a little worried. It’s not like him to be so emotional over something. I hope it’s not what I think is going on because Drew does
not
need to go there. I’m so lost in my thoughts that it takes me a moment to realize Cole is nudging me to move.

“Sorry,” I say quietly

“Come on, Kitten. Let’s go.”

When we get to the car, Cole unlocks the doors, and I watch in awe as he carefully places Seth into the backseat and fixes his seat belt. Cole being so gentle with his little brother makes my heart thump. I settle into the passenger seat before pulling the door closed behind me. I’m so lost as I pull the seat belt around me that I don’t realize that Cole’s in the car until he fires up the engine and slowly backs out of the parking spot.

As we pull out onto the highway, I steal a glance over at Cole. Worry lines etch along his face. His hands grip the wheel a little tighter than needed, giving way to the fact he’s anxiously concerned about his sister. My heart speeds up, I don’t know if it’s from fear, anticipation, or what, but right now, it doesn’t matter.

Fifteen minutes later, we pull up in front of his dad’s house. He comes around and gets Seth and carefully lifts him out of the car. “Babe, I’m going to put him to bed. Go start a shower while I do that.”

I nod, not saying a word. As we walk in the door, Hunter greets us. To be honest, I’d forgotten he was at the house.

“How is she?” he asks me as Cole makes his way upstairs with Seth.

“Not good,” I say, fidgeting in place. “It’s going to take a while for her to heal from the damage. I’m tired. I need to shower, and then I’m going to curl up in my bed and pass out,” I say to Hunter as I turn and slowly walk up the stairs. Each step is harder to climb, and my legs seem to be getting heavier. I reach the top and lean against the wall for a moment, trying to gather the energy I need. I move down the hall to my room, and leaving it open for Cole, I head straight for the bathroom. My first real glimpse of myself in the mirror since this all started freezes me in place. I bring my hand to my face, caressing my own cheek. I can’t believe how tired I appear, or just how bad I look.

“Kitten.” Cole walks up behind me. “Are you okay?” he asks, wrapping his arm securely around my waist. He tucks me into him, his breath fanning across my cheek.

“I’m fine,” I say as I snuggle against him. I let myself become completely surrounded by everything Cole. “I’m just glad they’re safe and we have them back”

“Babe, you shot a man,” he says as if I don’t know this. “It’s the first time you’ve ever shot someone. Are you sure you’re okay? I’m still not happy you knew how to use a gun in the first place.” He is exasperated with me, yet he’s pulling me tighter to him.

“I had Drew teach me.” I press closer to him. “I knew if I was going to be with you, I needed to learn to fight and how to protect myself.”

“I don’t know whether to be pissed, or turn you over my lap and spank your ass, or just fuck you, because you’re so damn hot,” Cole says while both of his hands begin roaming my body.

Well that’s good, because right now, with those words, I don’t know whether to run for the hills or let him fuck me senseless. I slowly turn to face him. With my body pressed against his hard one, I place my forehead on his chest, resting for a moment while I collect myself.

“Cole, I knew you would never stand for it. Why do you think I asked Drew?” I smile as I pull away a bit to get a better glimpse of his handsome face. “Let’s take a shower and get some sleep. I’m beyond tired.”

He releases me and follows me into the shower. I’m in the middle of washing my hair when he pushes my hands out of the way and begins massaging my head. I admit I’m slightly surprised, but it feels so good. His fingers scrub against my scalp, and I fight a moan that wants to escape. He finishes lathering my hair then places me under the full stream of water and his fingers comb through my hair as he rinses the shampoo. My body relaxes more with each second that passes.

“Kitten, you’re beautiful.” I can tell he is a little turned on.

I shiver. “Cole, please don’t. Not tonight.” I plead with him, looking him up and down before facing him. “I won’t be able to say no tonight.”

Emotions flash across his face as he caresses my skin and his eyes bore into mine, gazing deep into my soul. Honestly, I don’t think I want him to see what’s in there. I don’t want him to know just how deep I’ve fallen for him. If I give in, he’ll never let me leave for school. Yes, I’m obsessed with leaving, especially after the last few days. I can’t stay. I need to try to do something different with my life. I shot a man today and didn’t even blink… no hesitation, no remorse, and that scares me. What will I do if I find myself in a sticky situation again?

“Katarina.” He pulls me into a hug and just holds me. I let myself settle against him. “Just let me hold you tonight, please.” My eyes cut up to see him gazing at me. The water is still spraying all around us.

“I want you to hold me,” I say before stepping back and letting the water pour over me. I reach for my body wash and soap my body up as Cole watches me. As I finish cleaning off, he steps under the water.

“Get out and wait for me in bed,” he says.

I step out, grab the towel off the rack, and wrapping it around me, walk out to the bedroom where I finish drying my body. After pulling out my nightclothes, I go back into the bathroom to throw my wet towel in the hamper.

I stop dead in my tracks when I notice what Cole is doing. Granted, I can only see his silhouette and the reflection of his movements have mesmerized me. I should turn and leave, but I find myself stepping closer to the shower. I want to pull the curtain back and watch him closely. I can’t take my eyes off the movements of Cole jerking himself off in the shower.
That’s why he let me leave the shower. He was trying to respect my wishes.
And now, here I am perving on him when I should make my way to bed. My breathing becomes a little heavier. I want to strip and hop back in the shower with him, but I don’t. Instead, I stand there watching as he strokes himself over and over. He’s not gentle, either.
I can’t believe I’m standing here watching this.
Moisture forms between my legs. I’m so turned on right now that I want to finger my own clit, but that would give me away. Instead, I keep watching until I hear him let out a small groan as he cums all over the shower wall. That’s when I make a quick move out of the bathroom. I jump in bed and lay there, trying to calm myself down.

I have my eyes closed, so I don’t realize Cole is beside the bed until he speaks. “Did you enjoy watching?” Amusement laces his voice.

“Fuck! I should have known better.” I can’t even be embarrassed about being caught because I’m still too heated. I peer at him from beneath my partially closed eyelids.

“Oh no, Kitten! You said not tonight. I’m a man of my word. I won’t touch you tonight, no matter how much you want me to.” He lets out a small laugh at the look on my face as he throws off his towel. “Your punishment is to lay in my arms tonight, untouched,” he says huskily as he slips his shorts on and climbs into the bed with me.

“Asshole,” I say with a small grunt of frustration.

“Maybe, but you love me,” he says, yanking me into his arms. Immediately, our legs tangle together.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I wake snuggled in my man’s arms, our legs entwined, and our bodies fused together. The only reason I figure I’m awake right now is because the bright blue eyes of Seth peer at me, highlighted by the moon shining through my window.

“Hey buddy, what’s wrong?” I ask him quietly.

“I keep having bad dreams about the bad man who took Julie and hurt her,” he says. The distinct sounds of a sniffle can be heard. The poor boy has been crying and he’s scared. I manage to untangle myself from Cole as I turn to glance at Seth.

“Want to sleep with me tonight?” I ask. His little head bobs up and down. I scoot over against Cole, who shifts and moans a little. I hope I don’t wake him as Seth scrambles into my bed and scoots up right next to me.