On Becoming His - Lessons Learned (17 page)

She shivered from his touch, the way she always did, and darted her tongue out, slipping just the tip inside.
Wet and hot all over, she longed to be alone with him anywhere.

“My little handful,” Luke breathed when he broke the hold.
“Enjoy. I’ll be with you in just a few minutes.”

“I understand.” She longed to stay
with him, listen to what the men had to say to each other, but she had a feeling he was allowing her into the world of his past slowly. She best not fuck this up. When she looked back toward the bar, Aimee held out a fresh glass of wine. They were only a few feet from the men but she could tell their tones were hushed.

Aimee replaced Jessie’s
glass without asking and smiled toward the other two women. “First time at one of these things?”

“That obvious?” Jessie grunted.

“Don’t worry, honey. We’ve all been there. The lifestyle takes some getting used to,” Marla chortled.

“And when you think you get the hang of it
, the men seem to want to try something new,” Ginger added.

Jessie nodded as she scanned the room. There were various demonstrations already going on and she could hear muffed noises of pain and pleasure wafting all across the room. There were at least two hundred or more people at the party. “I can imagine.”

“Marla, more wine while I’m toying with our bartender friend here?” Aimee cooed as she gave the blond man a lustful look.

“Aimee!” Ginger snapped.

“You know Sir Wally allows her to get away with certain things. Not for me, darling. Bart is intent on having me in the middle of some scening tonight. I do think he wants to flog me. You know the rules.” Marla eased down onto the arm of the chair.

“The rules?” Jessie asked.

“They’re not enforced, but you shouldn’t drink much when performing. You don’t want an intoxicated Master with a whip in his hand, or a submissive who is begging for more because they can’t feel a thing. Makes for a less than stellar experience.” Aimee nodded to the bartender, dragged the tip of her nail across his cheek and grabbed her glass of white wine.

“Well I’m not doing anything either, not after last week’s experience. More drinks for me.” Ginger moved toward the bar.

“What happened last week?” Jessie asked. She’d read about no-no’s around alcohol consumption.

“Let’s just say sometimes when a guest is brought in who has no clue how to wield a
tawse, they can inflict more than just marks. The whole thing can get pretty ugly.” Aimee walked closer. “Don’t worry. You’ll learn everything soon enough. So you’re the new girl, eh?”

Jessie
narrowed her eyes as an edge appeared on Marla’s face and before she had a chance to open her mouth to answer, Marla shook her finger.

“We don’t talk about the past, remember?” Marla wasn’t actually asking.

“Fine. I understand.” Aimee sniffed and took a sip of her wine, a harsh glare remaining until she turned toward Jessie. “Why don’t I take you around, show you some of the areas of interest. You’ll at least get this from a newbie instead of old, very old pros.”

“Oh you are going to get it for that later!” Ginger huffed.

“In your dreams, girl.” Taking Jessie by the arm, Aimee whisked her out of the seating area. “Don’t mind me. I do tend to put my foot in my mouth at times.” Laughing, she shook her head.

“Oh I don’t mind.
” For a few seconds she was uncomfortable. What was really going on here?

“Ask anything. I understand how difficult this can be initially. I never wanted to come to these events. They were just so…”

“Plastic?’ Jessie blurted out.

Aimee burst out laughing. “You’re so very much like me. Yes, plastic.”

“So you’re new to all of this as well?” Jessie knew of course there had been another in Luke’s life, but she didn’t remember many of the details he’d told her. Maybe none.

Nodding,
Aimee led her in the direction of the first booth area. “Not quite a year. Sadly I was diagnosed right after I started enjoying the lifestyle with Wally. He’s such an amazing man. We connected right away and fell in love very quickly. I never knew I could enjoy being so involved in the BDSM community. They were tremendous supporters when I was sick.”

“Wow. I’m so glad you’re better.”

“Oh me too.” Her tone was reflective as stopped in front of a gleaming piece of steel. “The infamous cross. We always place this front and center because whether you’re a guest or a newbie in the BDSM environment, people recognize and long to try out the cross. I’m sure you’ve at least tasted being tied to on once or twice?”

Jessie shuddered as she remembered the first time she’d seen one of these --
the very evening of being in Luke’s house for the first time. The night had been magical, so very revealing for both. “Yes. So you weren’t a submissive before you met Wally?”

“Are you kidding me? I was and still am what most people call a ballbuster.” Laughing, Aimee placed her hand over her mouth
, her eyes dancing with mischief.

“Thank God I’m not the only one! Sir Luke calls me far too willful to accept total obedience.”

“Cheers.” Aimee raised her glass, a look of pure temptress on her face. “That’s exactly what Wally said until just about a month ago. Learning to become a good submissive, extremely obedient and placing your Master’s needs in front of your own takes time. Lots of time. Trust me.”

“I just hope I can learn.” Jessie looked over her shoulder at
Luke and caught his gaze. When he smiled she shivered.

“Is this something you want?”

Crack! Pop!

“Jesus!” Jessie jumped as the demonstration began.

“
Ooohh…”
the girl secured to the cross moaned.

Aimee touched Jessie’s arm. “It’s okay, Jezebel. You’ll get used to that as well.”

“Jessie, please. I think of the very bad girl every time I hear my given name.”

“Jessie seems to suit you, a little bit wild and a lot
a bit willful?”

Posed as a question, she coul
dn’t help but laugh. “That’s me and to answer your question, very much so. The more I’m involved the more I want.”

“But?”

“But?” Jessie heard the catch in her voice.

Aimee walked them past the cross to another station and stopped just before they
eased closer to the crowd. “But you’re at the final stage before being collared and unsure of everything, questioning the past and the future, wondering how in the hell you’re going to be able to fit both into a meshed lifestyle?”

Jessie groaned. “You’re right about everything but the collar.” Rubbing her neck she blinked back tears. Owning up to being so wretched, enough so to have her collar removed, was more difficult than she thought would be.

“Sir Luke took your collar away?”

Hearing surprise in Aimee’s voice, Jessie turned to face her. “Is that unusual?”

“Well, I’m no expert but it’s very extreme and from what I’m heard terrible for the submissive. What in the world did you do to deserve that?”

Jessie hesitated.

“None of my business and putting you on the spot is horrible of me. Let’s just keep going.” Aimee moved forward. “This is called fire cupping. A bit more extreme than some of the other activities, but something a lot of people seem to enjoy. Before you ask, I’ve never tried it.”

“Not sure I could handle this.”
Jessie tried to concentrate on what they were doing and somehow seeing the fire under the glass dome, burning the skin was too much. She looked away. “I constantly argue with him and I pitched a fit, one of those kind I called him just about every name in the book, threw things at him and you name it I did or said.”

“Ouch. He could have simply caned you, perhaps taken away other privileges.”

“Sir Luke isn’t into…well I mean he spanks but he can’t seem to…” Why was she having such difficulty finishing?

“
Mmm… All of this makes sense now. I get it.” Aimee smiled kindly.

“What do you mean you get it? I don’t get it. How can you get it? Do you know Luke? I mean Sir Luke?”

Aimee tipped her head to look to where they’d come from. “I’m not the one to ask, Marla is.”

“I get the feeling this subject is off limits.”

“Well, this is a tight knit community and I certainly don’t want to speak out of turn. From what I’ve heard about Luke from Sir Wally, he’s an incredible man with so many wonderful qualities.”

They continued walking, moving past booth after booth. Jessie w
as reflective as they moved past hogtying stations and demonstrations on the art of using a cane. The sights and sounds were intriguing but the very mystery surrounding his past held more draw. “So they’re all friend then?”

“I think they were closer before. I know that the men you met tonight spend time together
.  Don’t know everything about Sir Wally’s life, however.”

“You don’t live together?”

Aimee grinned. “Oh heaven’s no. I don’t think I could live the lifestyle 24/7. I’m just too independent. Besides, I’m not Sir Wally’s only submissive.”

“Really?” Jessie asked and this time she was surprised.

“No, and I know that Marla and Sir Bart share their lives with a new submissive, a lovely young girl. Marla is actually a switch and enjoys being able to have a submissive of her own. Don’t look so shocked. There are many types of lifestyles and so many of us are polyamorous.”

“No, I’m not shocked
. I’ve read plenty and even Luke, I mean Sir Luke and I have talked about the possibility one day.”

“But you’re still crossing the line back and forth from vanilla love to this incredible experience. Right?
I can tell even giving him the reverence of adding Sir is as difficult for you as it was for me.”

Jessie genuinely liked the girl. “You seem to know me too well.
I seem to struggle every damn day. I just don’t know why.”

“
Well, when you can fall in love and simply are no longer playing, the trust and the experience grows. The shared experiences are much deeper, the pleasures heightened. Take a little bit of advice from me. Give yourself some time. This isn’t always easy and emotions and fears are hovering just below the surface. You’re going through a change in your thought processes, his needs and what those in society think as well. This isn’t easy.”

“Excellent advice.” At least she knew she wasn’t completely insane.
Society. Maybe she was more bothered by what everyone else might think.

“Now let’s get you back before I end up getting whipped in front of everyone for taking you away.”

“Just one more question, and I don’t mean to put you on the line but…” Jessie nibbled her bottom lip. “How far does the group go back?”

“Over ten years.
Maybe longer. I don’t know that much about your Luke’s involvement as he’s only been mentioned a couple of times, but I know they were tight many years ago.”

“What happened to push them apart, something between the men?” The instant she asked the question she could see an odd flash in Aimee’s eyes. “Please. I’m just trying to figure out what is haunting him so desperately.”

Aimee looked away and remained silent for a full minute. “I can tell you love him and that Luke obviously loves you. I heard something happened to push Luke out of the lifestyle completely, shutting down his connections with everyone, all his friends.”

“Do you have any idea what it was?”

“I honestly don’t.”

“But
this something involved a woman?” Jessie took a stab in the dark.

“I…I don’t know.
Honestly, I don’t. Now come on.” Aimee started walking, a smile plastered to her face.

Jessie hung back briefly
, trying to process the information. The timing and the concerns Luke seemed to continue to have made sense, given a guarded experience in his past. But what? When she was able to catch up to Aimee they were almost back to where they started. “Have you ever heard a name?”

Aimee stopped short and shook her head. Then she turned slightly
, a haunted look on her face. “Jessie, there’s no real story that I’m privileged with the details to. And I’m asking you to drop this. The past is the past.”

“
I understand, but this past is killing me. Please. Anything you can tell me. This is a barrier between Luke and I, one that’s keeping both of us from taking the final step.” Out of the corner of her eye she could see Marla being strapped to the cross, all the men including Luke standing around her. “Anything.”

“I’ve heard mentioned a
Susie or Suzzana or something. That’s it. I don’t know any more. Okay?”

Aimee’s voice was imploring
, a tremor remaining. “Thank you.” Jessie banked the names, not certain if she’d ever ask him if this woman existed.

“There you are. I was missing you,” Luke growled as he reached for her.

“I’m never far away from my Sir,” Jessie said quietly as she nuzzled against his arm.