ON AIR (2 page)

I could understand that. I’m sure it made for a more authentic, realistic experience instead of a business knowing who she was if she stopped in to critique their place.

“I bet she really is a phone sex operator,” Madden continued, tapping his chin in thought. “She’s gotta be something good with that voice.”

My clients walked into the room just as he said that. The husband obviously heard what Madden said based on the humorous reaction on his face, but the wife was still talking to Clive in the doorway.

“Don’t mind him,” I motioned to Madden. “He’s obviously got some phone calls to make.”

Madden stood with a stupid grin on his face but didn’t argue as he left. Nathan and Brenda sat down, so we went forward with the review on their house plans.

3

I
never even got the chance to inform my sister of Monday’s radio segment. Work kept me busy for fourteen hours straight and before I knew it, Chloe was blowing up my phone with texts on Tuesday morning.

6:20 a.m.

What did you do!?

6:24 a.m.

OMG I need help

6:25 a.m.

This is unreal OMG OMG OMG

7:01 a.m.

What did you do??? DANE???????

I called her as soon as I saw her messages. I’d just barely woken up but the second I read her “I need help” message, I was on it like Superman.

“Dane, what the hell is ‘Slice of the City’? Did you do this? If so I’m
very
grateful, but a heads up would have been nice. I am so swamped right now!”

“Chloe, slow down.” I knew that was a useless command as she kept rambling. Her sentences ran one into the next and then she said she was too busy to talk and had to go.

She hung up on me.

I got dressed as quickly as I could and called my friend Natalie from the car. I knew nothing about making coffee and all that shit, and if my sister needed help, calling for reinforcements was about all I could do for her. Nat was available and thankfully got there before I did, but Chloe wasn’t kidding about being swamped. The first sign was the amount of cars parked along the street and in the tiny parking lot adjacent to the building; the second sign was the people coming in and out of the café.

That was a foreign sight.

When I stepped inside, there were about a dozen bodies sitting at tables and two more at the counter to order. Chloe and Natalie were busy filling orders, and knowing I was completely useless at doing what they were doing, I enlisted myself to clear tables and wipe them down for new customers. And seeing that they were running low on mugs, I made myself wash and dry dishes for ten minutes before clearing off a few more tables.

I kept up this routine for almost two hours. Yeah I had work to do at the office, but my hours were sometimes flexible. I would just work later tonight to make up for it and sent Clive a quick text to let him know I wasn’t sure when I’d be in.

“You look good with soapy hands,” I heard Nat’s voice as her hand slapped my ass. I was on my third round of dishes.

I gave her a half-smile and shook my head, still in disbelief that the place had taken on a complete one-eighty from one morning ago. “Thanks for helping out. I knew I couldn’t do what you two do.”

She shrugged. “Meh, glad my old barista skills could be of use again. Well, besides just using them to pick up guys,” she winked.

It made me laugh. I wouldn’t exactly call Nat an ex-girlfriend, but I guess she was a consistent hookup. She was not only laid back and witty, she was extremely beautiful. Long brown hair and hazel eyes, and a figure I deemed to be perfect.

We really did meet in the coffee shop she worked at and she’d flirted relentlessly with me. I was flattered, but I was actually there with another girl—who happened to get pissed and broke up with me over it. I didn’t even do anything wrong, hadn’t even flirted back. But I guess Nat had been a blessing in disguise because that other chick had been a waste of my time anyway.

I couldn’t deal with clingy and jealous.

“Dane, what in the hell did you do?” Chloe’s voice called as she came to the back. “Okay, I have five seconds, so spill it!”

“
Slice of the City
advertised your café.”

Her eyes bugged out at me. “She was
here
!?” Her voice squeaked unusually high before she shook her head and rushed back to the front again.

I looked at Natalie. “Is everyone familiar with that radio thing besides me?”

“
Slice of the City
with Sinclair? Maybe. It’s a cool little segment. She really does find neat places that not many people know about.”

I scoffed. “And what if she hates somewhere she’s been?” I didn’t even want to think what could have happened if it’d been the opposite result for Chloe.

“Oh no,” Nat shook her head. “It’s only places she likes. She doesn’t hate on the shitty ones, just promotes the ones she loves. I’ve been to two of her suggestions and they are now my favorite go-to spots. Blue Shade Café and Fiona’s Malt Shoppe.”

I’d never heard of either but nodded my head like I agreed. I dried the last few mugs and hung them up on a rack. “Well whether I like her suggestions or not, I’m grateful she stopped in here.”

Natalie nodded, but with a frown. “I just wish I’d seen her! No one knows what she looks like. She’s like a mysterious lurker, you always wonder if she’s there somewhere.”

Nat looked intrigued by the mystery of it, and I guess I could see her point. She left to rejoin Chloe up front, and when another one of my sister’s friends showed up to help, I made my exit.

On my way to work that day, I found the radio station’s website and pulled up the older editions of
Slice of the City
on my phone. I listened to four by the time I got to the office, including the one about that Blue Shade place. I have to admit…her review made me want to try it out. That, and I was still mesmerized by her voice. And I really didn’t think she had a phone sex voice like Madden said; it wasn’t
that
unnecessarily sexual. But it
was
sexy, and that’s what I couldn’t get out of my head.

I spent the next eight hours at my desk, and by the time seven o’clock hit, I was rubbing my weary eyes. Somehow I was typing in the radio station’s web address on my laptop. It looked almost the same as it did on my phone, and I don’t know what I was expecting to find, but I clicked on the
Slice of the City
tab again. No matter what I looked through, there still wasn’t a picture to be found of this woman. There were pictures of the establishments she’d reviewed—even my sister’s was on there from the day before—but nothing that showed me who this “Sinclair” lady was.

I closed everything up and headed home. Fate had a strange way of working Her magic sometimes. I felt like my sister was deserving of this boost, and all of her texts throughout the day made me a very happy big brother.

Before I pulled into my driveway, I’d passed Peter getting his mail. He’d waved, I had waved back, and I drove on my merry way. But when I stepped out of my truck that was now parked in the garage, Peter was coming up my driveway and I could feel my mood slip pretty quickly.

“Howdy there, neighbor! How goes it?”

If I haven’t painted the image of this guy well enough, I’m extremely sorry. Just hearing him say those words made me have to stifle a groan. He sounded like that really religious neighbor, Ned Flanders, from
The Simpsons
.

“Hey, Peter, how are you?” I removed my work satchel from the back seat and shut the door as I faced him.

Eyeing the briefcase-like bag as I slung it over my shoulder, Peter asked, “Long day at work?”

I glanced down at my bag, which was loaded with my personal laptop and six different client files. “Yeah, somewhat. No work no pay, and no pay means no play.” I laughed at my own joke but he only stared at me expressionless. Clearing my throat, I asked, “So, uh, did you need something, Peter? I’m gonna head inside, shower, maybe eat something…”

He seemed to refocus on whatever he’d come by for, or at least I hoped he would so he could leave.

“Well, I’ve been thinking about you a lot, Dane.”

I arched an eyebrow at him, not at all expecting such a serious reflection of his time. “Oh? How come?”

Peter gave me a smile, and whether it was genuine or not, he looked like a fucking noob standing there. This guy was seriously a mess of things I didn’t understand.

“I really enjoyed having you and Christopher at my home the other night. I would truly like it if you came by more often. Maybe I could host a dinner on a specific night of the week and the both of you could attend?”

The fuck? He wanted to hang out with me more? No. Absolutely
not
. And Chris and I had barely been active participants at his party the other night anyway. We just didn’t fit in.

“You want- you want me to come over more?” I stammered. “Well that’s a nice gesture, Peter, but I just don’t have time. Thank you for inviting me to your bachelor party, but that was kind of a one-time thing. I’m just not that social.”

Well it was sort of true. I was social when I felt like being social, but no, I couldn’t keep faking my way through interactions with this guy. I wasn’t the type to shoot the breeze with someone on any given day, and especially someone I had nothing in common with. Polite was one thing; buddies…
no
.

“Maybe if you tried it now and then, you’d find you liked it,” Peter smiled. “Perhaps the company would become familiar and you’d feel safe with me, and my kind of friends.”

His kind of friends? Feel safe? What the hell was he implying?

He glanced down at my satchel again, which was still hanging on my shoulder and resting against my hip. “It’s never too late to change your priorities, Dane. Wickedness never was happiness.”

I blinked several times, cocked my head to the side, and took a moment to puzzle-solve. “What exactly are we talking about here? What’s wicked? My work?”

Peter looked up at me, his expression now seeming a bit preachy. I knew the guy went to church each week, but I’d never actually heard him sermonize me before. Yeah, he’d probably stereotyped me when he first saw my tattoos while I mowed my lawn shirtless, or my overall casual appearance when I was in jeans and one of my music t-shirts, but I had always thought he was just a nice, overly geeky guy who just wanted to have friendly neighbors.

Or maybe he’d befriended me because he was scared of me? Perhaps he thought I would terrorize the neighborhood somehow and he wanted to be on my good side so my twisted biker gang didn’t come after him.

I did have a Harley parked right next to my truck, but that’s beside the point.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, trying not to roll my eyes. “Look, Peter, I’m not sure why you think I’m a sinful person, but I work hard and I provide for the people I care about. I wouldn’t exactly call that wickedness. I’ll see you around, okay?”

I headed for the entry to my house and pushed for the garage door to shut. I don’t think I would have cared if he was underneath it at that point, but it came down as a much-needed barrier between us.

I’d been five seconds from telling him to go fuck himself.

4

“A
ffordable, quaint, accommodating… If you’re looking for a fabulous wine bar, Rita’s Peak is somewhere you should definitely consider. And that’s it for this week’s Slice of the City, I’m Sinclair, and I hope you enjoy your beautiful city in as many ways possible!”

I’d been listening to an older edition of the radio show, one that dated almost a year back. It seemed as if this Sinclair person had been doing this broadcast for the past thirteen months. At first it had been a once-a-month segment, but over the spring, it had turned into once a week. Now that I had officially heard every single episode, I felt a bit shortchanged. It was like a binge on Netflix was over or something. Now I’d have to wait for the newest installment each week and I didn’t feel very patient.

And I also felt like an obsessive stalker.

I entered Jessop’s Bar & Grill a few minutes later than I’d told the guys. It was Saturday night and I’d been looking forward to just cutting loose for a bit. Chris and Madden were already shooting a game of pool with two of our other buddies, but I was surprised to see Natalie there with a couple of her girlfriends. They were sitting at the bar with drinks and Nat waved me over.

I kissed her on the cheek to say hello, and then gave forced nods to Krista and Whitney. They weren’t my favorite people but I could play nice. “Jameson,” I told the barkeep. She nodded and fetched my order.  “So what’s new, ladies? Are we on the prowl tonight or no.”

“Pssh,” Natalie scowled. “Have you taken a look at our options?”

I picked up the shot that was slid my way and examined it systematically. “Why no, Nat, I haven’t scoped out your selection of disappointment. Would you like me to get on that for you?”

“I dare you,” she smirked at me.

Taking the shot of whiskey, my eyes never left hers. I’ll admit Natalie Denman was extremely hot—I’d say a 9.5 on my superficial scale—and definitely a run for my money. I’m not quite sure why we didn’t hang out more often—generally just a once or twice a month hookup—but I think we were due that night.

When her friends joined the guys at the pool table, I took the seat next to Natalie and slid her stool closer to mine. “So tell me how life has been treating you lately.”

She gave me a rigid glare. “You seriously want to know or am I going to be your conquest for the night.”

“I’m positive that was already your goal.”

Her look of disgust was completely staged, but she gave me shit anyway. “Wow, someone is full of himself.”

The barkeep silently questioned me for another drink, so I confirmed with a nod. Why not? I’d worked my ass off all week and deserved to chill out for a bit. I also knew it would put Natalie on my good side because she was a total nurturer and would take care of me. Sounds a bit selfish, right? But she wasn’t much of a drinker and liked to take on that role of guardian over me.

And…it always brought us cozier with each other. I’ll admit I’m a bit of a reserved guy. I wasn’t afraid of rejection in a general sense, but I valued Nat’s approval of me. When she wanted to be close to me, it always seemed like a good thing. And that only happened when we were in a setting like this. Maybe that sounds ridiculous, but we seemed to be a bit more cautious of each other out in the real world.

“Life has been fine,” she finally answered. “I’m still working at Collier Graphics. I like it. Quite a lot, actually. It’s sort of like your firm—laid back. I’m
sooo
accepted there,” she added in a dramatic tearful voice. “They like me. They really like me!”

I laughed. “Okay, Sally Field. And yeah, Becker & Lewis have been good to me. It sure beats working for Stackman.”

“Oh God, he was a shit-talking douchebag. I’m so happy you’re not working for him either.”

“It was a job, end of story. And I think it worked in my favor because Clive hates him.”

“Yes, Clive
loves
you
. And you deserve it, Dane. You work hard and you love what you do. You belong somewhere that appreciates you.”

In business and in life
, I wanted to say. But I kept my mouth shut except to down the second shot that was slid my way.

Natalie went on to update me on her family, her new apartment, and the other designer at work who keeps asking her out. I told her she could use me as a fake boyfriend if she needed to and she promised she’d probably have to go to that extent. However, I knew Nat, and I knew if she didn’t want a guy hitting on her she’d let him know. Maybe she wanted this guy to ask her out or maybe she just hadn’t gotten around to turning him down cold, but she seemed indifferent to it all.

“So tell me about you, hot stuff. Whatcha been up to?”

I did a boring summary of a few houses I was designing. She seemed genuinely interested, but when I brought up my weird neighbor, she had a good laugh about that.

“Oh God, it sounds like he thinks you’re selling drugs out of your briefcase. What a fucking nut.”

“What?” I asked, taking that information in for a second. “Why the hell would he think that?”

“He’s probably watched too many movies.”

“I doubt he’d watch anything that involved drugs and crime. Or harsh language, for that matter.”

“Ha! I bet he’s a closet porn addict.”

Ew. I didn’t want to have that image in my head. Peter was weird, and I’m sure he had his own secrets and shit, but I certainly didn’t need to know them.

“Let’s have sex out on your lawn when he’s outside,” Nat said.

Laughing, I shook my head. “As much fun as that would be, I’d rather not give my neighbors a show.” I raised an eyebrow at her. “Unless you get me extremely drunk tonight.”

She gave me a sassy smile and pointed a finger my way. “You be careful what you wish for, tiger.”

I ordered myself a beer.

An hour later, I was a little drunk. I played a game of billiards with the guys, lost, and had two more beers. Natalie stuck close by, dividing her time with girlfriends and us, but mostly with us. And by us I mean me. I’m not so dense I can’t realize she has a thing for me, more than just an interest to hook up every few weeks. But with Nat I’m kind of at a loss sometimes. I feel like she’d be an amazing girlfriend, but at the same time, like we’d be too good for each other and find a way to fuck it up.

“You’re probably right.”

I paused my thinking—or what I thought I was keeping inside my head—and turned Natalie’s direction. “I didn’t say that out loud.”

“Yes you did.”

We were now sitting in a booth in the corner. A UFC fight was on the big screen and the noise in the room seemed to have doubled. I knew I was drunk, but a functioning drunk. I could have conversations, take myself to the bathroom, play a game of pool with the guys, and otherwise be fine. Just a little slow.

“Don’t give me the ‘I’m fine’ routine, Dane. You’re so drunk right now I had to separate you from everyone so you didn’t piss anyone else off.”

Her friend Krista always got on my nerves. I may or may not have told her she was raging bitch with a vagina busier than a 7-Eleven. But I knew it was coming out of my mouth, so it’s not like I was completely wasted. “Well she really is a bitch. You should hang out with better people.”

Nat scoffed. “Just because you two don’t get along doesn’t mean she and I don’t get along. You two clash like oil and water.”

“I’m oil ‘cause I’ve got thicker skin, and I wouldn’t call her water. That’s too clean. She’s a cum dumpster.”

“Oh my God,” Natalie scoffed as she laid her head against my shoulder. “I love you, Dane. You make me smile.”

I don’t think I’ve ever been loved by a female other than family members. Or at least was never told that by anyone. Chris loves me. Madden loves me. They are stupid motherfuckers who love people like me. And I’m rambling. The room might be just a tad tilted right now.

“Dane,” Natalie laughed. “You’re talking out loud again. And Chris and Madden have no choice but to love you. You’re a good friend to them. And to me. I appreciate that. You’ve always been there for me whether you want to admit it or not.”

All I could really hear her saying was that she wanted to sleep with me, so I slid my hand to her thigh, a bit close between her legs, and left it there. Mainly because that last beer seemed to hit me all too quickly and I was somewhat paralyzed that way, but I’m sure she really wanted my hand there.

She placed her hand on top of mine and I think she ordered some coffee. She also made me drink some water, which I refused at first. I already had to take a piss, and after realizing I truly didn’t know which direction the bathroom was anymore, it occurred to me that I was officially shitfaced.

***

It was one in the morning by the time the alcohol wore off and life around me seemed to return. I must have checked out for a bit, but I was still sitting in the booth with Natalie when I slowly began to emerge from my drunken tunnel. My head was resting on my arms and I could feel her hand softly rubbing my back.

“You okay there, sport? I can’t remember the last time you actually got tanked.”

I couldn’t either. Maybe Vegas. I guess it had been about a year. I sat upright and rubbed my face. “How long have I been out?”

“Mmm, about an hour. Madden almost got in a fight, Krista and Whitney left with two morons, and Chris keeps texting Chloe every fifteen minutes. You know, the usual.”

I couldn’t help but smile. And I loved that about Chris, even though I often gave him shit about it.

“Here, want some coffee?” Natalie asked, motioning for a waitress as she slid over the other mug.

I watched the dark liquid waterfall into the pale cup and then thanked the waitress without looking up. I knew that waitress. She’d given me a blowjob behind the building one night, but I couldn’t remember her name and didn’t want to look at her nametag to find out. I’m pretty sure that makes me sound like a dirty bastard, but my college days weren’t that innocent. I hadn’t done shit like that for several years—I guess since my parents died and my responsibilities changed.

“I have some food coming, too,” Nat informed me. “I’m starving.”

I wasn’t sure if that was the truth or she’d ordered it just for me. My best guess was that it was both. Being hungry was like the one thing that made Natalie bitchy. If that girl mentions a single thing about needing food, you better get it in front of her face within ten minutes or people might die.

After half an hour, I felt completely fine again. I ate, drank coffee, took another leak, and ended up shooting a closing hour game of pool with the guys. Natalie was still hanging around, and I was assuming it was only for me. Then I found out she’d gotten a ride here with Krista, who had left without her.

“You know I’m good for a ride,” I told her, pulling out my keys. I said farewell to the guys who were already heading to their vehicles. She gave me a suggestive smirk when I realized how those words had come out, but decided to go with it. “Hop in, lady. My place or yours?”

She took my keys from me. I was sobered up, but didn’t mind if she drove. We ended up at my place, and after jokes about sex in the yard where she would moan Peter’s name really loudly, we just stuck to the bedroom. I was quickly reminded why we hooked up so easily but never stayed together. We always fucked pretty hard, somewhat rough, and afterwards, it seemed a bit formal between us. Don’t get me wrong, sex with Natalie was extremely satisfying, but there was nothing more to it. No cuddling and no small talk. It was like the deed was done and both parties enjoyed it, but no need to turn it into something it wasn’t meant to be.

She left an hour later. Apparently Whitney and Krista had had a shitty night with the two dicks they’d left with and were still roaming the city.

When they swung by to pick her up, Natalie gave me a brisk, “See ya, Dane,” on her way out, and I went back to bed.