On 4/19 (On 4/19 and Beyond 4/20) (42 page)

John’s heart plummeted. Even while he knew Bob was unlikely to give his approval to step back into Chelsea’s life, somewhere deep inside he held onto a grain of irrational hope. “If that’s what you think is best for her, without blinking an eye.”

Bob’s coffee arrived, and for a moment, he paused to doctor it. Adding more sugar than Gail would ever approve of, he then lifted the cup to his lips and tentatively sipped on the steaming hot coffee. Glancing only once at John, seeing the obvious anxiety he was experiencing, Bob
was more than convinced of his love for Chelsea. Wondering, he asked, “Will you take her back to L.A.?”

Based on Bob’s question, that grain of hope resurfaced, and in that moment, his heart began to thud violently against his ribs. “No. I would never take her away from her family. We’ll travel some, but this was what she wanted all along, to be back home.” John’s hands began shaking at the prospect of seeing Chelsea again, so much so, he had to quickly set his coffee mug back on the table to keep from sloshing it everywhere.

Bob hid a smile. A man who ran a multi-million dollar empire was shaken up over the thought of seeing his twenty-four-year-old daughter. “Her mama told me why you broke it off in the first place. I guess she’s known about it all along.”

Bob’s thoughts were never along that line. He presumed John got what he wanted from Chelsea, and when the new wore off, he moved along to some other young woman. The money and the house threw him off a little, but even then he convinced himself that it was a means of John easing a guilty conscience. Knowing the truth confirmed that John loved Chelsea enough to put her first. And his coming for her proved he loved her too much to allow anything to stand between them. That was exactly the sort of man he wanted for his girl, no matter their age difference.

“At the time, I thought it was best, but now, I’ve come to believe that no one could possibly love her as much as I do. They may love her longer but never more.”

Chelsea stood from her theater seat and began to gather her mess. Having skipped dinner, she instead ate junk at the movie: popcorn, candy, and a large soda. In the lobby she threw her trash away and waited as Caitlin used the restroom. As the crowd passed by, she dug into her coat pocket and pulled out her phone. John had texted just as the movie had begun, nearly two hours before. She stood frozen, even when Caitlin rejoined her and asked who it was. Blinking a few times, she kept expecting the message to disappear, certain it was her imagination.

It read: Best:
porch swings
. Worst:
waiting
.

Her fingers were trembling, causing her to miss nearly every letter on the keypad. Finally, she replied,
Where r u?

Immediately he responded:
Freezing on your porch
.

Breaking into a full run and with Caitlin on her heels, Chelsea pushed her way through the crowd and toward her car. Once inside, she fidgeted with the keys trying to get the ignition started.

“What is it?” Caitlin assumed something must be terribly wrong.

Chelsea looked up at her. Reaching for the open door, nearly hitting Caitlin with it, she said, “John is at my house waiting for me.”

As she drove the few blocks toward home, Chelsea could hardly breathe. It was cold out, which was why she’d driven in the first place, so cold in fact, she could see her breath in the air when she was finally able to exhale. “Breathe, Chelsea, breathe,” she reminded herself aloud. Two blocks felt like ten. Pushing the speed limit, which she seldom did, Chelsea rehearsed what she might say if she were pulled over for speeding. Possibilities ran over in her mind, and she tried to focus on anything but why John was waiting on her porch. She wondered against her better judgment.
What if…?

Chelsea pulled into the driveway and came to a stop beside John’s rental car. As nervous as she was, she had to smile at the sight of the compact car. It was nearly identical to the one they rented when they visited over Thanksgiving. He did that on purpose. Once she put the car into park, rather than jumping immediately out as her heart wanted her to do, she sat for a few seconds, terrified to step out of the car. Cautiously, she reminded herself what it felt like to see him at graduation, only to realize he was there to drop off the gift. Over and over, she whispered, “Stop, Chelsea. Don’t get your hopes up.” Eventually, she found the courage to open the car door, and she made her way tentatively down the sidewalk.

Even before she stepped onto the sidewalk, John had already reached the bottom step of the porch to come out and meet her. He was wearing his dark overcoat, the same one she’d seen him wear dozens of times the previous winter, noting that beneath it he wore jeans and boots. She smiled at the choice of boots rather than loafers. Peeking out from his coat was the stiff collar of a starched white shirt. He was not in businessman costume. Was that a good sign?

When they met in the middle of the sidewalk, John stood shivering, grinning at her. Her stocking cap was the face of a monkey, and she was all bundled up in a heavy wool coat. Reaching out, first he playfully tugged on the string dangling from her chin, but as he looked into her eyes and found them clearly fearful and hesitant, he softly touched her cheek and whispered, “Hey, Chels.”

Moving her hand to touch his, she said, “Your hand is freezing.”

“I’ve been sitting on your porch for a very long time.” He would have waited all night if that was what it took to see her. Since speaking with Bob earlier that morning, the day had been a whirlwind of preparation and activity. Gail helped him to set the stage for his surprise, keeping the news from everyone, including Caitlin. John had known all along that Chelsea was at the movie with her sister. Gail set that up as well, inviting the girls, but then she backed out at the last minute, fearing her excitement would cause Chelsea to become suspicious. Finally, after nine agonizing months, he was there with her, touching her rosy cheeks. His grin broadened and he found himself breathless, feeling once again like a kid himself.

The feel of his fingertips upon her cheek brought back flashes of memory from their time together. Because he said her skin was still so firm and soft and how he envied her youth, he often caressed her cheeks. His touch was one of the things she missed most and dreamed of often. As his icy fingers trailed along her skin, she became convinced she was living in some foggy dream. “I’m sorry. I was at a movie.”

Chuckling, he said, “There you go apologizing again.”

He just kept staring at her, and as much as she wanted to believe he’d come because he loved her, she was terrified to hope. What if she did and he rejected her? At the thought of his rejection, of him turning as he did at her graduation and walking away, she became nauseous, so hesitantly she asked, “Why have you come, John?”

He moved closer, slid his hand behind her neck, and lowered his head, resting his forehead on hers. Being so close to her, he found he was overcome by such emotion he could hardly speak. Finally, his voice broken and raspy, he admitted, “I couldn’t live another day without you.”

Falling into him, Chelsea wrapped her arms around his waist, and whispered, “It’s about time. I’ve been waiting for you.” When he slid
his arms around her, she felt as if she were dissolving into a puddle. His embrace was warm and soothing, causing all the months of longing to become a distant memory. For as long as they’d been apart, she imagined this moment. No daydream, however, could compare with the feeling of standing in his arms, knowing the wait was finally over. Though their future was far from clear, he’d come, and that was all that mattered.

With her in his arms, he finally understood that
enough
feeling that his father talked about. Nothing more was needed than what he had when he held her. For the first time since knowing her, he didn’t have to hold back or maintain distance. There was never a moment in his life when he felt more complete than that one. When she fell into him as she did, it settled the question of whether or not he was too late. Obviously, he was right on time.

As many things as he wanted to say to her, to tell her about the transformation that had been happening within him, the only words that came were, “Walk with me.”

Looking up at him, she grinned. “Walk? It’s freezing out here.”

“I’ll keep you warm.” Reaching for Chelsea’s hand, John led her down the sidewalk and toward town. By the expression on her face, he thought she seemed mesmerized, not caring where he was leading her. He pulled her near, and she slid her arm beneath his coat and around his waist. They walked slowly in unison. It was truly the most perfect moment of his life.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve imagined you taking this walk, going for ice cream.”

“Ice cream?” She giggled. The temperature was in the teens, so the last thing on her mind was ice cream. Actually, with John by her side, nothing else was on her mind, just him, and hopefully a forever them. Even the question of why they were walking faded before she could get around to asking it. The moment was too beautiful to chatter, so instead, she just walked with him by her side, and it really didn’t matter where.

Noticing how quiet she was, John wondered what she was thinking and if she suspected what he was about to do. He could hardly imagine she did. All the things he wanted to say were floating around in his mind,
things he’d rehearsed over the course of the day. One thing he didn’t wait to say was, “I’m so sorry.”

Looking up at him as they walked, she smiled softly, saying, “I know.” She didn’t have to ask why he was sorry. He was sorry for letting her go, sorry for being afraid of something so right. It was written all over his face when he came to see her at graduation. His eyes seemed heavy, as if so filled with regret and pain he could hardly keep them open. Over the course of the past nine months, she knew he regretted every moment of their time apart. She felt it. Even later on when she worried that he may have found someone else to ease the pain, the one thing she never doubted was his love for her. Since that day at his mother’s house when she found him waiting outside her doorway after she prayed and wept, she never once wondered if his love was genuine.

When they reached the ice cream parlor, Chelsea could see that the blinds were drawn, but a soft light escaped around the edges, indicating they were still open. For the first time she realized he was serious about going for ice cream. Since late fall, she’d not made this walk, but considering he’d bought the house for precisely that reason, what better place to go?

John opened the door for Chelsea and stood back, allowing her to walk through first. His stomach began to stir in excitement when he heard the soft gasp she let out upon entering the candlelit room. On every table but one, candles flickered. Even the cases with tubs of ice cream were lined by candlelight.

Leading her to the one empty table, he reached for her coat and wrapped it around the back of her chair. When he held the chair for her, he asked, “Mint chocolate chip?”

She grinned and simply nodded. Once his back was to her, she removed her hat and tried her best to smooth down what must be a terrible case of hat-head. Why that night of all nights had she worn the monkey hat Lucy had given her for Christmas? She must have looked ridiculous to him.

John slid into his seat and placed Chelsea’s ice cream in front of her. Too nervous to even pretend to eat his, he waited instead for her
to begin. When she made no move to lift her spoon, he reached for her hand, saying, “I’ve come a long way to make sure you get dessert first.”

Unable to reach for her spoon, Chelsea sat, spellbound. He was about to ask her to marry him. After all the months of waiting and sleeping and waiting some more, her reaction to what was sure to be a proposal was complete shock and the inability to function.

John dropped to one knee before her. “Chelsea.”

At the sound of her name and the tender expression on his face, she began to sob. So did he. For a moment he couldn’t go on. As much as she tried to pull herself together, she could do nothing but cry and reach for him.

Cradling her into his arms, he whispered in her ear, “Chelsea, I love you, and I’ve missed you every single second we were apart. Nothing has been okay without you, nothing. It never will be.” He grasped her by her shoulders and moved her back so that he could see her face. “I need you to know, I’m not who I need to be yet, but I’m working on it. As much as I want to believe I can be the husband you need, I know I’m still not there. I will be someday, though. I’ll do whatever it takes to be him.”

Moving in closer, he kissed her softly. While still very near, he said, “Say you’ll marry me. I’ll never let you down again. For as long as it’s up to me, I’ll never leave your side.”

Chelsea threw her arms around John’s neck and shouted, “A thousand times yes!”

Laughing out loud, John held her to him, thankful for the words he just heard. It was a line from her favorite movie, one they watched more than he cared to after her car accident. He recalled the first evening they watched, as he was more interested in watching her reaction to the movie than the movie itself. At exactly the right moment, she answered the proposal along with the character in the movie. Tonight she was saying those very words to him. He wondered if she’d ever dared to dream of this moment.

Finally, he was hers; they were real. No longer would a date loom overhead. Unable to say anything more, she simply buried her face into his neck. When she was finally able to find her voice, she looked up and whispered, “I was about to give up on you.”

“Thank you for not giving up on me, Chels. It’s been a long nine months I know, but I promise, I’m a better man for it.” He wanted to tell her how he discovered that he really was never good enough for her and how much work God had been doing within him, but looking into her big brown eyes, all he could do was lean in and kiss her. Lifting his head, he admitted, “I have loved you from the very beginning. I loved you even when I didn’t know what love really meant. I think I loved you the moment I watched you compete for cheesecake, maybe even when you walked into that restaurant and waved that shy little wave. All along, I’ve loved you.”