OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! (18 page)

I went round to see Gran today to tell her that I had followed her advice. She said, “Hattie – it's about time you entered the world of men, but don't go the same way as your mother. Remember, if you stand up for nothing you'll fall for anything.”

I assured Gran that I am not about to get pregnant by a boy called Keith who gets someone else pregnant at the same time!

Gran just said, “Good. Don't!” Then she carried on playing “Candy Crush Saga” on her iPad.

She also told me that she's decided to go to an art class tomorrow night as she feels she might have “hidden talents” and “needs to express herself”. I don't think Gran has a problem with that! I don't think Gran has EVER had a problem with that!

UNBELIEVABLE!

MATFIELD runs Gran's new art class! SHE IS ALSO NICE to old people ALL the time! They even go to the pub for a drink afterwards! Over some gourmet beef-and-mustard crisps, Matfield told Gran that her CRAP stick men remind her of someone called “Lowry”!

Just googled Lowry. He drew stick men! They are worth MILLIONS. This TOTALLY proves I have potential.

There is now a MASSIVE rumour going around school about me and Simon McKinnon! Rebecca Pan has spread it that he fancies me and I've told her to spread it back that I like him. It's only a matter of time.

Just had a humongous argument with Gran about Matfield. Gran says, “The school needs a woman like that. You could all do with a bit of discipline – it's not all hairspray and boys! Besides perhaps the woman has had a hard time in life, Hattie. You shouldn't judge.” I yelled back at her, “We've all had a hard time, Gran! We do not all bully people about their collages!”

OMG – I cannot believe Gran said “I shouldn't judge”! Gran judges everyone and everything. She told a security guard in Primark to keep an eye on a woman once because she was walking “funny”. She wasn't at all! Gran admitted she thought she was suspicious because she had “red shoes – the footwear of a born shoplifter”(?!).

FINALLY!!!

Simon McKinnon has sent me a note with loads of fantastic REALLY good doodles scribbled all over it.

OMG – PLAIN – private jet HERE I COME! I heard his parents were loaded.

Jen says it means a SPIRITUAL PLAIN. That means you think the same thing.

Wish it had been a plane. I don't want to be shallow but that would probably have made me probably like him more.

I have replied to Simon McKinnon. I just said “yes”. I didn't do any drawing as I'm rubbish.

Jen is really acting strangely with me. It's not my fault an emo does not attract a goth. Jen thinks I will have to go goth now. I asked for tips but she said it's not something you can learn. It's a state of being.

In my life one best friend is basically married. The other is getting cross that I might be.

Jen texted. Apparently wearing black is a good start to being goth.

Like I didn't know that.

I still love Jen though.

DATE TOMORROW! I am wearing black. And more black.

I met Simon in the market place. We moved into Irongate where all the nice posh shops I can't afford are. He pulled out a blanket from his rucksack and put it over a bench. He'd brought a picnic! People were walking by either taking the mickey (“Bloody freaks!”) or saying things like, “Ah! Young love!”

I couldn't decide if it was magnificent or just TOTALLY OFF THE SCALE strange. We had this picnic by candlelight and he kept asking me questions like, “Do you like bands like Frank the Baptist, A Spectre Is Haunting Europe and Cinema Strange?”

Do I? I'd never heard of them but I said “yes”.

Then he said, “Do you believe in beings you can't see but can feel?” When I asked him, “Do you mean like a cushion?” he said, “Sort of. They may be of comfort.”

Then we had this … actually I don't know what it was! It was a sort of snog. I opened my eyes when we were kissing and he was staring at me. I shut my eyes quickly – but he SNOGS WITH HIS EYES WIDE OPEN. LIKE AN ALIVE ZOMBIE!

He eventually said, “Can I see you again?”

I think he can.

I don't know WHAT to think!

Just listened to a bit of A Spectre Is Haunting Europe. It's just shouting noise.

I can't text Jen about this because it looks like I'm rubbing it in. Dimple is probably having a Messenger love fest with Bhavin whilst she pretends to do some homework.

The truth is, I'm on my own with a goth who wants me but listens to really dreadful music. I thought Gran had bad taste.

I think it's moving a bit too fast with Simon. He's asked me to consider committing to him in the afterlife as well as this life. It's apparently a goth thing.

Apparently he's committed to other girls but on different levels of being.

I said, “You're not a vampire, Simon”. He stared at me for ages and whispered, “No – but I exist on different levels!”

Dear Simon – I think I just like this level and this life!