Offside (30 page)

“I thought you were mad at me,” she
finally said. “For hanging out with my old friends. I know I was
gone longer than I planned, but I wasn’t doing anything bad. And it
annoyed me that you were angry about that.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “You still
consider them friends?”

She made a face. “Not really.
But…Cressa and Chandler are together and he called her a…he was
really mean to her. We ended up in the ladies’ room with her crying
her eyes out.”

“Huh.” He blinked.

“I was trying to tell her she doesn’t
have to put up with that from any guy. That she deserves better.
God!” She closed her eyes. “It reminded me so much of
me.”

“
Baby. That’s what you
were doing?” His eyes softened.

“Yeah. That was why I was gone so
long. I just wanted to get back to you but she was really upset. I
thought you might come rescue me, but you didn’t.”

“You went off with them on your own
free will,” he muttered. “After Cressa brought up our threesome.
Also, I didn’t go find you because I trusted you. I was worried,
but I trusted you.”

“Oh.” She swallowed hard. “When I came
back and you were acting all pissed and I said that…I knew I
shouldn’t have. I knew I was pushing a button.”

“Uh…
yeah
.” He groaned. “I did
not want you to be reminded of that.”

“Okay, we both made mistakes,” she
said. “You’re always telling me to just let it go. You need to do
that too.”

“Fuck.” His jaw tightened. “Okay, I’m
sorry you thought I was pissed at you.”

“At first I was hurt,” she whispered
to his throat, playing with a button on his shirt. “That you were
mad at me, when I didn’t do anything wrong. Then
I
got mad.
And I said that. I’m sorry. But really…” She sighed. “That whole
night just proved my point.”

“And what point would that be?” His
voice was low and edged with anger.

She shivered. “That we don’t belong
together.”

“Bullshit,” he bit out. “Oh my fucking
god.” He tipped his head back, eyes closed, jaw tight.

“I knew that was going to happen
eventually,” she insisted. “The reporters, the cameras, my old
friends trying to drag me back into that life. You don’t need that
in your life. At first I was angry because you’d kept saying you
didn’t care about that stuff, but that night, you were pissed off
and it seemed like you did care.”

“Honey.” He tipped her chin up with
his fingers so their eyes met. “You thought that little of
me?”

She bit her lip, her eyes burning.
“I’m sorry. You’d have the right to be angry about that. I know you
said you don’t care about what people think, but you’re a
professional athlete, with a public image, and it
does
matter. So I sent you that email.”

“Which was utter bullshit. You know I
don’t give a fuck about any of that shit. Fuck yeah, Honey, we
belong together.”

Her heart went soft and warmth spread
through her body.

“I was definitely pissed off at you
this week, though,” he growled. “When you wouldn’t answer my calls
or my texts. What the fuck?”

“I just thought it was better to end
things.”

“Yeah…no. I don’t think so. I wasn’t
just mad, though. Fuck.” He closed his eyes again. “I was
terrified.”

“Uh…”

“That I’d lost you,” he explained.
“But I wasn’t giving up.”

“Oh, Matt.” She leaned her forehead
against his. She’d screwed up again, pushed him away, even hurt
him.

“I love you, Honey.”

She went very still. Did he really
just say that?

Oh god. Oh god.

“Honey?”

She nodded.

“You’ve gone to every home
game?”

“Yes.”

“You signed your email, ‘Love,
Honey’.”

She nodded again. Her throat had
closed up and her heart was once again cracking and melting. “I
love you too,” she finally whispered back.

“I know.”

She snorted a little laugh. “Han
Solo.”

He grinned.

“Why do you love me?” she asked. “I’ve
screwed up so much. Even with you. I was so worried I didn’t have
it in me to have a real relationship, and I was right.”

“No.” He lifted his chin and kissed
her mouth softly. “We both screwed up. I love you because you’re
beautiful, Honey —on the outside and the inside. You have such a
warm heart. You’re generous and caring. With Cressa, who did
nothing to deserve that from you. She abandoned you as a friend,
but you still care. You care even when you don’t want to admit it,
like with Mia. Seeing you with kids is awesome—you let yourself
just relax and be yourself, and it’s so amazing. You’re smart and
determined. Yeah, you made some bad choices, but you picked
yourself up and moved on, and that’s not easy to do. Which means
you’re also strong.”

He really saw those things inside her.
It amazed her. Humbled her. And if she could get past the huge
mistakes she’d made in the past, she could get past this.
Especially with him there offering her unconditional love and
acceptance. He made her feel as if she really was worth all the
trouble.

Along with her boss recognizing her
contributions at work and asking her to stay on…her friendship with
Farrah and Mia…Dulcie accepting her and helping her…hell, she
was
worth it. “I’m sorry, Matt.”

“Eh. We both screwed up. We admitted
it. Now we move on.”

She stared at him. “Just like
that?”

“Yeah. Just like that.”

This kind of honest, open
communication was not something she was used to. Nor was she used
to making a mistake and being immediately forgiven for
it.

“You really love me?”

His lips curved. “Yeah. I really love
you.”

She’d screwed up and he loved her
anyway.

Her heart nearly exploded in her
chest.

She’d never known anyone so accepting
of her and who she really was, ugly baggage, past mistakes and all.
“Thanks for sticking up for me with my mom.”

“Any fucking time,” he
growled.

Her heart expanded even more. “I need
to get back in there,” she said in a shaky voice.

“Yeah. I guess you do. And it’s almost
dinner time. I’m hungry.”

“What else is new?”

He gave her butt a little tap, gave
her lips a smooch then lifted her easily off his lap. He took her
hand to walk down the hall back to the ballroom.

“You’re coming home with me tonight,”
he said.

She met his eyes and
nodded.

“Did I tell you how hot you
look?”

She smiled. “Hmm…no.”

“Well you do. Nice dress.”

“Thanks.” She glanced down at the Marc
Jacobs dress she’d bought on sale at TJ Maxx for the
gala.

“And
really
nice
shoes.”

“Again, thank you.”

“Wanna fuck you wearing those
shoes.”

Her stomach did a little flip and heat
washed down through her. “Um. Okay.”

He grinned, lifted her hand and kissed
her knuckles, then led her into the ballroom.

*****

Four hours later Matt got his wish.
Honey’s legs, still wearing those fuck-me shoes, wrapped around his
waist as she came, her sweet pussy rippling around his cock, his
face buried in the side of her neck. “God yeah,” he groaned as his
own orgasm roared through him. “Love you, Honey.
Fucking…love…you.”

Her hands roamed over his back, up the
back of his neck into his hair, hugging him tightly. “Love you too,
Matt. So much.”

They lay there, panting for air,
hearts thudding together. Then he rolled to his side, bringing her
with him, holding one leg up on his hip, still buried deep inside
her. He gave a couple more slow slides in and out while he was
still hard.

“Mmmm.” Honey let out a sexy
sigh.

His hand curved over her ass.
“Yeah.”

She snuggled in closer, if that was
even possible. “I want to talk about what happened last time we
were together, that summer.”

He grimaced. “Okay.”

“Hey. You’re the one who wanted to
talk.”

He grunted. “Go.”

He felt her smile. “I was in love with
you. Back then.”

His heart clenched and his arms
tightened around her. “Honey.”

“It’s okay. I know you didn’t feel the
same.”

“Oh yeah. I did.”

Her head lifted and he met those
gorgeous eyes. “You did?”

“I was crazy about you, Honey. You
were amazing—so beautiful and sexy and fun.”

“I thought you ended up hating
me.”

“Nah. I never hated you. I just didn’t
understand why you hung around with those people. They were losers.
Users.”

“You were willing to jump into bed
with one of them. And me.”

He groaned and slid a hand up into her
hair to press her face against his chest. “I knew that was going to
come up. Did you hate me for that?”

“It was my fault.”

“Don’t actually even remember whose
idea it was. We were all hammered that night.”

“Yeah. But I wanted to do it. It was
hot and wild and wicked. And I thought it would impress you and
make you happy.”

“I was twenty years old and horny as
hell. Yeah, it made me happy. Two hot girls all over me? Hell yeah.
Until I sobered up and realized what we’d done. I cared about you,
Honey. Didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Yeah, I discovered I did not like
thinking about you and Cressa.”

“Know what? Hot as it was, I felt the
same. You and Cressa…that was just wrong.”

“I was so stupid.”

“We both were. Young and stupid.
People are allowed to make mistakes, Honey.”

“I’m learning that. Thanks to you.
God…” She burrowed closer into him and her body quivered with
emotion against his. His hand threaded through her hair, rubbed her
neck.

“You don’t have to be perfect to be
loved,” he said quietly. “I love you, Honey.”

“I always felt like that, growing up.
But I couldn’t be perfect, so I just tried to be bad.”

“Nobody’s perfect.”

After a short silence, she said. “I
was mad at you for leaving.”

“When? The other day?”

“No.” She smiled. “Years
ago.”

“Honey. I had to go.”

“I know. But it hurt. You were the
only guy who ever gave me the kind of attention I craved. You paid
attention to me in a way I’d never had in my life. I let myself
care about you and then you rejected me because I was hanging
around with people you didn’t like. You were the least judgmental
person I’d ever met, but I felt like you were judging me and I
wasn’t good enough.”

“I wasn’t judging you. I already told
you. You were hanging around with stupid people, and I couldn’t
figure out why.”

“Then you went and told my dad about
the stuff my friends and I were doing. That felt like betrayal.
Rejection.”

“I know.” He rubbed her neck again.
“I’m sorry. I only did it because I cared about you. I was worried
about you. I didn’t reject you.”

“It felt like it. When we had that big
fight about my friends and why I hung around with losers like that.
I felt like you were just being critical like my parents. I hated
that. It made me just want to rebel even more. They were my
friends. They were more like family to me than my own family. I
know you didn’t get that.”

“No,” he admitted, giving a tug to her
hair to once again pull her head back so their eyes could meet.
“Didn’t get it then. But I do now. Now I know you
better.”

“I had to be forced to stand on my own
feet and figure out who I was. And I did. I mean, I still am. But
I’m getting there.” She smiled, her gaze roaming over his face. “I
admired you. I loved you back then for being so strong. You’re
always so calm, so sure of yourself, so easygoing and
open.”

“Maybe too easygoing. I went along
with things for a long time too—played hockey because that was what
was expected of me. Getting into the NHL was a given, because of my
brothers, and I never fully appreciated the opportunities I
got.”

“You don’t get into the NHL just
because you have three brothers who were in the NHL.” She fixed a
frowning stare on him. “You got into the NHL because you’re a great
player.
You
.”

He smiled. “Thanks, babe.”

“It’s true.”

“Yeah, okay. But I pretty much coasted
along until I got injured. That changed my outlook on life. And
that’s why I was
not
going to let you go—something that good
doesn’t come along very often and I’m not missing out on that
because I was just going to be easygoing and let it go. I’d fight
every two-hundred-fifty-pound goon in the NHL every night for
you.”