Off Limits (14 page)

Reaching up, desperate now, Jim placed his hands lightly on her small shoulders. “Listen to me, Alex. The corps deals with men such as myself in its own way. There's no use trying to defend me. It won't work.”

Tears glimmered in her eyes. “Like hell it won't,” she quavered unsteadily. “I'm not giving up on you, Jim. You may have given up on yourself, but I haven't!”

Desperation fueled his unraveling feelings. “Alex, go home! Forget about me, about what happened here in Nam!”

Alex pulled out of his grasp, breathing raggedly. Glaring at the lieutenant and then back at him, she rasped, “You don't forsake the one you love, Jim McKenzie! You're stuck with me! I'm not going to abandon you!” She whirled away, walked toward the double swinging doors and disappeared through them.

Jim glanced over at his skipper. “Can't you convince her, sir?”

Breckenridge shrugged and came over. In a low voice, he ordered the brig guards to wait outside. When they were alone, he asked, “Is it true? You two love each other?”

Hanging his head, Jim worked to stop the feelings he wanted so desperately to own and, more importantly, to share with Alex. The whole situation was impossible. “Sir, I do love her. I don't know when or how it happened, it just did.” Raising his head, he held the officer's saddened eyes. “You know as well as I do that it won't work. They're gonna throw me in prison. It doesn't matter what my story is, the corps is going to punish me. She's fallen in love with the wrong person. Do you understand that, Skipper? I've gotta stop her from ruining her life by loving me.”

Breckenridge nodded and stepped aside as the doctor, dressed in a green top and pants, swung through the doors with X rays in hand. “I understand, Jim. First things first. Let's get this leg of yours in a cast.”

* * *

Alex finished dressing in a newly purchased pair of white cotton slacks and a pale gold blouse. A private tent had been loaned to her while she remained at the base. Since seeing Jim the other day, Alex had taken things into her own hands. Luckily, she'd left her purse and other valuables behind in Da Nang before climbing onto that fateful helicopter flight. She had money to remain in Vietnam for some time.

Her father was in Saigon, conferring, she supposed, with the military leaders on political issues. Alex had left her address and phone number with his hotel in case he wanted to get hold of her. Until then, she was moving ahead with her plans. She opened the tent door.

“Miss Vance?”

“Hi, Lieutenant Breckenridge.” Alex stepped aside and smiled. “Please, come in.”

Breckenridge took off his utility cap and halted just inside the door. He smiled tiredly. “This place looks a lot better than the hospital. Glad they were able to put you up here.”

Shutting the door, Alex motioned the recon marine to sit down on a metal folding chair. “It is,” she agreed.

Matt sat opposite her. “Jim's been back two days now, and I've got to tell you, all hell's starting to break loose.”

Alex halted and stared down at the officer. “Because I gave the U.S. reporters my story of how Jim saved my life?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“If it will help Jim, I'll continue to give interviews to bring attention to his case, Lieutenant.”

“I think it's helping already. At least CID has dropped the desertion charges against him. That was the worse of the two charges—the one that could put him before a firing squad.”

Relief made her dizzy, and Alex whispered, “Oh, thank God.” She saw the happiness in the officer's eyes, too. “I suppose they want me to shut up and disappear so they can get on with trying to hang Jim on insubordination charges, then.”

Moving the utility cap slowly through his scarred, callused fingers, Breckenridge watched as she paced back and forth. “They'd probably breathe easier, Miss Vance—”

“Call me Alex, please.” She halted and tried to smile but failed. “I'm so glad you're on Jim's side, Lieutenant.”

He nodded. “Alex, Jim asked me to come over here and talk some sense into you—his words, not mine.”

Her heart began pounding painfully and she sat down on the cot.

“McKenzie and I both know he's going to be in for a rough ride for refusing to pick up a rifle. The corps will hang him on that, even if they can't make the desertion charges stick. Jim's worried about you, what this press might do because your father's a congressman.”

Alex touched her aching brow. “It's just like him to be worried for me and not for himself.” She glanced up at Matt. “That's why I love him. He's honest and sincere—not like so many other guys I've met.”

“Yes,” Breckenridge agreed, “McKenzie's all of that. Look, he wants you to get on with your life and forget him.”

“How can I?”

Breckenridge shrugged. “I don't know. I can see you love him. But...”

“What?”

“You only knew each other for seven days under some very trying circumstances.”

“Love doesn't have a time limit,” Alex snapped back, getting up and starting to pace again. “Are those his words or your observation?”

“Mine,” the officer admitted unhappily.

Alex stopped and stood tensely before the marine lieutenant. “Nothing you can say will make me change my mind. I'm going to keep giving interviews to any news reporter who wants the story of Jim's bravery. If not for him, I'd be dead. That's what the Marine Corps is so conveniently overlooking.”

“They aren't overlooking it, Alex. What they are focusing in on is the fact that if they don't slap McKenzie with a stiff penalty for refusing orders under fire, other marines might get the same idea.”

She shook her head. “Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea. War is no place for anyone, Lieutenant.”

“I can't disagree,” he whispered.

“So what I'm hearing is that Jim's a scapegoat? A sacrificial lamb because he stood up for his own values and morals?”

“Yes,” Breckenridge said wearily. “The court-martial board is convening tomorrow morning, Alex. It's closed to all but key military personnel.”

“Don't they want me as a witness?”

He shook his head.

Alex shut her eyes. “My God, how did the military get such blanket authority? This goes beyond our constitutional laws.”

Breckenridge got up and walked over to her. He laid his hand on her shoulder. “If it makes you feel any better, the newspaper articles here in country and back in the States will probably force the convening board officers to give Jim a much lighter sentence than Captain Johnson wanted.”

Tears swam in Alex's eyes as she looked up at Breckenridge. She realized he was suffering no less for Jim than she was. “What are you trying to say? That his sentence and where they're going to send him have already been determined?”

“I believe,” Matt said with an effort, “they'll probably reduce him to private and give him six months in Long Binh jail. It's located near Saigon. I don't think anyone wants Jim Stateside where peace demonstrators can march in his behalf. If I can read between the lines of the colonel in charge, he wants to sweep this whole thing under the rug and hope it goes away. By keeping Jim in country, under guard where no one from the media can reach him, they figure the real world will eventually forget him.”

Alex wavered. She felt the officer grip her shoulder, as if to support her after delivering the news. Alex drew in a ragged breath. “I don't have the kind of money it would take to hire a civilian lawyer back in the States to help. I wished I did, but Father and I don't get along very well. He pays only my nursing-school tuition. I work two part-time jobs to cover my rent and living expenses.”

“Alex, you've done what you can. When this court-martial comes up for review, I believe the decision against Jim will be overturned. Maybe you weren't aware of the required review process, but it's Jim's best chance at vindication. The local command is too close to the fighting, and Captain Johnson's embellishment of the refusal under fire conditions is hurting Jim's chance at a fair hearing. No lawyer is going to be able to help him right now. Look, Jim wants you to go back home.” Matt took an envelope from the pocket of his utilities. “I managed to smuggle in paper and a pen to him. He wanted to write you. You won't be able to see him again.”

Alex felt as if her heart was breaking. A sob escaped her. “I won't be able to see him?”

“No...I'm sorry. Once they sentence Jim, they'll put him in leg irons and fly him down to Long Binh.”

Anger and grief surged through her. “H-how can you handle this so calmly?”

“Because I'm resolved to the fact that this is one case that can be won more easily on appeal than in the present kangaroo-court mentality,” Breckenridge told her grimly.

“Aren't you upset over the unfairness of it?”

“Of course. I have contacted some people who will be able to assist me in the appeal hearing for Jim.”

Alex took the letter. The pages were smudged with perspiration and dust. What kind of conditions were there at the brig? Alex was afraid to ask in the wake of all the bad news.

“I think Jim's wrong about one thing,” Breckenridge murmured. “He believes your love for him is a passing thing, created out of the trauma you survived in the jungle.” Matt turned the envelope over. “I took the liberty of finding out the mailing address for Long Binh—just in case you want to stay in touch.”

Tears streamed down Alex's cheeks. Pressing her hand against her lips, she nodded. “Th-thank you, Lieutenant. You're a good man. Jim is lucky to have you during all this.”

The officer settled his cap back on his head. “No,” he whispered, “Jim is lucky to have
you.
As it stands, the corps is going to treat him like a model prisoner, knowing that you're out there monitoring his whereabouts, his state of mind and health.”

“D-do you think they'll allow Jim to get my letters?”

With a shrug, Matt said, “I don't know. By law, they have to let him get mail.”

“What if I don't get answers? How will I know if he's receiving my mail at all, or if he's just refusing to answer it?”

Matt shook his head unhappily. “There's no way to know. Look, I'll be seeing Jim. I'm one of the few people who can get to him with the tight security over this whole deal. Maybe you'd like to read his letter and write one yourself. I can at least carry a letter from you back to him.”

Dashing away the tears, Alex moved to the small desk. “Yes, I'll do that. Thanks, Matt.”

He smiled offhandedly and walked around the tent. At the door he sighed. “You know, if the wife, girlfriend or children of a marine need anything, fellow marines will pitch in and help. It's an unspoken camaraderie, if you will.”

Taking out a sheaf of stationery from a drawer, Alex looked at Breckenridge. His profile appeared harshly chiseled against the sunlight pouring through the screen door. “I don't know what I can ever do to thank you for helping Jim and me.”

Matt looked over his shoulder at her. “I hope you understand that Captain Johnson isn't the best example of a Marine Corps officer, as far as I'm concerned. Jim is one of the finest marines I've ever commanded. There's a gut honesty in him that I've seen in very few men. He's straightforward, intelligent, and he has an unbending loyalty to his friends.”

“I know,” Alex said softly. “I was on the receiving end of that care. That's why he deserves my best effort—my courage, not my cowardice.”

“He's a lucky man. I hope he knows that.”

With shaky hands, Alex unfolded the letter. Jim's scrawl was nearly illegible, and she recalled him telling her how much trouble he had learning to read and write in school. Hungrily, she absorbed his handwritten note.

Dear Alexandra,

I'm asking Lieutenant Breckenridge to hand deliver this letter to you. I'm doing okay. At least my leg's stopped hurting me. I'm getting used to the cast. It seems that the word goin' around is I'm gonna get sent to Long Binh here in Vietnam. That's not too bad. I told my skipper I'd get real good at busting rocks with a sixteen-pound sledgehammer.

I want to thank you for all your help. My skipper said you stirred up a hornet's nest out there on my behalf. Right now, my worry is for you. Please go home. You've done all you can for me, and I'm grateful. If you could do me one favor and visit my ma and pa, I'd be beholden. They don't have a phone, so you'd have to drive up to see them. I hope this isn't asking too much, but I know how worried they'll be. My skipper's writing them a long letter of explanation. Could you deliver it to them? Tell them the truth of what happened? I'm worried my pa might think I'm a coward. Tell him I'm sorry I've caused him such shame. I didn't mean to.

Go home and go back to learning to be a nurse. You'll make a great one. Forget about me, gal. I'm worthless compared to some college guy you'll meet, fall in love with and marry someday. You deserve better than me. When you get home, you'll see the wisdom of my words. Take care. I'll never forget you, Alexandra. You're as purty as your name.

Your friend forever,

Jim McKenzie

“Oh, God.” Alex choked and pushed the letter away. Burying her face in her hands, she began to cry. A moment later, she felt Breckenridge's hands on her shaking shoulders.

Sniffing, Alex said brokenly, “I'm okay. Really, I am. Just let me write him a letter.”

* * *

Jim lifted his head from where he sat in his small cell when he heard the door at the end of the facility open and close. Light was low, the humidity high, and the smell of sweat hung in the air. His cot was long, narrow and uncomfortable. Out of the shadowy gloom he recognized Lieutenant Breckenridge being escorted by a brig chaser. Swinging his leg over the cot, being careful not to crack the plaster cast on the iron chains that held the cot against the wall, Jim stood.