Ocean Pearl (9 page)

'Jake, don't you know she's letting out her sexual
tension? She just went surfing with a very, very hot
babe!' Megan cackled and slapped her thighs. 'Hey,
Georgie, maybe your Starfish Sisters will help you out.
What's left of them, that is.'

I ignored Megan's comments. I ignored her hyena
laugh polluting the air in the gym. I was not going to
waste my energy on her now. No, I'd store it up and
unleash it in the surf. Then I'd push her to the wire.

'You're super fit,' Jake said to me, pressing the bike's
'cool down' button. 'Shyan was saying this morning
how amazing you're looking.'

I got off the bike and buried my head in the water
fountain.

Where the hell were Kia and Micki? I was going to
kill them for not turning up.

'Ace read Micki's diary?' Georgie spat. 'I just can't – '

'Shut up.' I put my hand over Georgie's mouth and
gently closed the door of the bungalow behind us.
'We'll talk about it down at the beach, otherwise
Megan'll wake up.'

I shone the torch across the lawn.

'Well, you could've waited till we were down there
to tell me.'

'Oh what, you would've come down to the beach
with us?' I whispered back to Georgie. 'You've had the
poos with Micki and me since we didn't come to
the gym.'

'Well, sorry! But how was I to know –'

'Ouch!' Micki stumbled. 'Can you keep the torch on
the ground, Kia?'

'Sorry.'

Behind me, the figures of Micki and Georgie
wrapped in blankets followed my trail of light across
the grass, past the board shed and down to the sand.

'Okay,' Georgie said, 'now can I yell?'

'Not too loud,' I warned.

'There's no way Megan'll wake up,' Micki told us. 'I
think tonight's the first night she's actually slept.'

'Her snoring is worse than yours, Georgie.'

'Gee, thanks, Kia.'

We must've looked like three caterpillars wrapped in
cocoons as we sat on the sand with our blankets around
us. It was cold. As we spoke, white vapour shot from
our mouths and then disappeared into the darkness.

'So, start from the beginning,' said Georgie.

'When Micki –'

'Kia! Can Micki please do the talking?'

I shone the torch on Georgie's face. I hated it when
she was Little Miss Bossy and had to be in charge of
everything. Did she ever think that maybe I wanted to
have a go?

'Sorry, Micki,' Georgie said.

Micki was beginning to wriggle about on the sand
and I started to feel bad that Georgie and I had been
going on at each other. It wasn't the time to behave like
that. Why did I always see it when it was too late?

Now Micki was silent and I was scared she'd lost her
nerve.

In the torchlight I could see her eyes like tiny slits
hidden amongst eyelids that were puffy and red. They
reminded me of two caves with openings so narrow
and tight you'd never get inside.

'I'm sorry I told you I'd been vomiting,' Micki told
Georgie. 'I just didn't know what to say about . . .'
Micki turned to me and I smiled and nodded. 'I didn't
know how to say what'd happened.'

'Don't worry about that, Micki,' answered Georgie.
'It's not like you were telling some big lie.'

'That's the thing,' I began and then stopped. Again
I shone the torch Micki's way. This time it was to see
the nod and smile from her. I needed Micki to give
me permission to say what I was about to say. 'We've
all been telling lies. Or rather, we've kept stuff
hidden from one another. If we still want to be the
Star–'

'We're not the Starfish Sisters anymore,' Micki
uttered.

The strange thing was that Georgie nodded in
agreement.

'I'm sorry, Kia,' Micki whispered. 'I know you don't
want to think of it like that.'

I sat up straight and loosened the blanket from my
shoulders. This wasn't meant to be part of the conversation.
Of course we were still the Starfish Sisters.
That'd never been in question.

'So, Ace read your diary?' Georgie asked. 'Are you
sure of that?'

'Ninety-nine per cent sure. I thought you – you –'
she stammered.

'No way!' Georgie's voice shot up into the stars. 'If I
knew Ace'd read your diary . . . I mean, what a bitch.
What a low thing to do. As if I'd not say anything.'

'So, you didn't know?' This time I asked Georgie.

'No, Kia. I swear. I swear – ahh!' Georgie gasped and
wrapped her arms around her head. 'I've just thought
of something.' Now Georgie's head was buried in her
lap and she was going, 'No, no, no!'

'What? Tell us!'

'Ace told me something and I couldn't figure out
how she knew. But now it makes sense. She must've
read it in your diary, Micki. Oh, I can't believe it. What
an idiot I was!'

'What . . . did . . . she . . . tell . . . you?'

The fear in Micki's voice made me want to go over
and hold her. But I knew by the way she was sitting
that she didn't want anyone near her. I'd sat like that
before, many times.

'She said that you were moving in with Kia's family.'

'She said that!' I almost shrieked.

'Is that . . . all she told you?'

'Yes, Micki. I swear.' Georgie had started to cry. Not
big Georgie snorts, just little sniffs with a few tears.

'Georgie?' A calmness had washed over Micki.
Maybe it was like the calmness you feel because you've
made your decision. I know that feeling. 'There are
things I need to tell you, Georgie.'

'Okay. It's just us.'

Micki cleared her throat. No sound followed.

'Hey, it's just us,' Georgie said again. 'You said that
to me in the car, on the way to camp. Remember? When
I was freaking out about the OP guy.'

Micki kind of nodded but kind of shook her head too.

'It's um, it's not like the OP thing. It's got nothing to
do with surfing.'

'Okay.'

'It's stuff about my family. Well, my mum and dad.'

'Yeah?'

'Um. . . um . . .' Micki's hands were pressed against
her chest. 'You know how I told you that my dad was
sick? Well, he is sick. Um, but it's different to um . . .'

'To . . .?'

'It's different to . . . normal sick.'

'Different?' Georgie was on her knees leaning
towards Micki.

'Yeah, different,' Micki repeated. 'My dad –' Micki
stopped, then started again in a voice that was loud
and clear. 'My dad's an addict. A drug addict.'

Georgie sat back on her heels.

'He has been for a long time. That's why I'm going
to live with Kia.'

'It's been really hard for Micki,' I added. 'She has to
do everything for him.'

Georgie's fingers were making circles in the sand.

Come on, say something. Say something, Georgie. Please.
You were doing so good before. You were saying all the right
things. Come on.

My heart was pumping like crazy. I had told Micki,
almost promised her, that Georgie would be able to
handle it. Now Georgie was just sitting there, silent.

'Georgie?' I prompted.

She didn't move. I shone the torch on her face.
Georgie was crying. I'd never seen her sob so silently
before. To be honest, her tears made me feel good. Now
Micki would know that it had been okay to tell.

'What . . .' Georgie whispered. 'What sort of drugs
does your dad take?'

'He's on a drug called methadone. He's got to go to a
clinic to get it. It's a drug that a doctor orders. Methadone
stops him from using heroin,' Micki explained.
'Well, it's meant to stop him but – but it doesn't always.
Most of the time it does. Lately, though, say the last year
and a half, he hasn't been doing so good.'

'So . . . so it's good that you're going to live with Kia.
Isn't it?'

Micki lowered her head. 'I feel really bad about
leaving Dad.'

Georgie and I exchanged a glance. What could you
say back to that?

Georgie settled for, 'You haven't been yourself the
last couple of days. Is that why?'

'Yeah, plus finding out Ace had been through my
diary. That was kind of like the last thing I needed.'

'I just can't believe she'd do that. I wonder what
other stuff –' Georgie tried to swallow the rest of her
sentence. But it was too late. She was only stating the
obvious. 'I wonder what other stuff she read.'

'That's what I'm scared of,' Micki replied. 'You
know, you and Kia are the first friends I've ever told.
This is not something that I'm good at talking about.'

'It's been big deal for Micki, telling you, Georgie,' I
added. 'Hasn't it?'

'To be honest, I don't trust Ace,' Micki said to Georgie.
'What if she tells? Everyone will hate me.'

Georgie shrugged. 'Why would people hate you?'

'So, there was nothing else Ace said to you that she
could've read in my diary?'

'No, Micki, nothing. I swear,' answered Georgie. 'Ace
loves you. You're like her little sister. You know that.
Don't you?'

Micki looked at Georgie. She said nothing. She just
looked.

'I swear, Micki,' said Georgie. 'Ace wouldn't do
anything to hurt you.'

Micki shrugged.

'Kia?' Georgie whispered. 'What are we going to
do?'

'It's not like we can confront Ace,' I said. 'Not while
we're here at camp.'

'And you definitely know that she read it? I mean, in
case Ace tries to deny it.'

'Micki's got proof.'

'Yeah?'

'At Kia's place, I hid it in my sleeping bag,' Micki
said. 'I sort of noticed it'd moved around a bit but I
wasn't worried or anything. But when I opened my
diary the next day, here at camp, I found all these long
blonde hairs inside the pages. I just knew.'

'How
weird
is that?' I said.

Georgie nodded.

'I mean, that's got to be proof, don't you think?' I
asked.

Again Georgie nodded. 'I'd say that's proof all right.'

The three of us stayed down at the beach for hours.
I had a cry when I told Georgie that Micki knew I'd cut
myself again. It was funny saying that 'cause it's not
like Georgie and I had even talked about it. There were
times that I wanted to talk to Georgie but I didn't know
what to say. How do you start that conversation? I'm
not like Georgie, who can talk to anyone about
anything and know they're actually listening too.

I wanted to say thank you and I wanted to tell her
that I wasn't going to hurt myself again. But I wasn't
sure that words were enough to make Georgie believe
me. Georgie was like my dad, an action man. Maybe
one day I'd tell her. But for now I needed to show
Georgie that I wasn't that girl anymore.

Georgie blubbered – this time big, loud Georgie
snorts – when Micki told her that her mum didn't die
from cancer but from a heroin overdose.

I still didn't know what made me feel worse. That in
January at camp I'd told Ace and Georgie a story about
Micki's mum falling off the balcony when it hadn't
even happened. Or the fact that Micki had been awake
that night listening to the whole thing.

Micki didn't cry. She said she'd used up thirteen
years' worth of tears in less than a week.

Of course, Georgie had no secrets to spill. She never
did.

The three of us each had to find a star in the sky.
Micki picked one from the saucepan and Georgie's was
from the Southern Cross. No matter how many times
Dad tried to point out those shapes to me I could never
see them. So I picked some random star that was
hanging out in the sky on its own, 'cause if I was a star,
that'd be me.

'Are you both looking at your star?' Georgie asked us.

'Yeah,' Micki and I answered.

I wished that I'd thought of this. But I wasn't going
to let that ruin the moment.

'This isn't a Starfish Sisters thing,' Georgie said. 'It's
a pact just between us three. Now all say together, "No
more secrets, no more lies."'

'No more secrets. No more lies,' the three of us
promised.

*

When Shyan and her big cheesy smile knocked on our
door at six am to tell us the surf was cranking and we
were going to have a 'girl-against-girl' contest before
breakfast, I contemplated saying, 'Shyan, it's still dark
outside. Some of us have only had three hours' sleep.
Go away.'

But, of course, at the Australian Junior Team Training
Camp, that was not an option.

A tiny crest of orange could be seen peering above
the horizon. It was almost like the sun was checking
that the coast was clear and it was safe to come out. It
was safe if you were all the way out there, but here in
front of the board shed, Georgie was spreading the
aggro before Megan turned up.

'Use it, Micki,' Georgie was preaching. 'Use that
anger you feel for Ace out there in the surf.'

'What? Like, pretend the waves are Ace's head?' I
butted in.

'I don't think I'd be very good at that.' Micki
yawned. 'At least, not this morning. I really didn't want
to get out of bed.'

'We're up now.' Georgie was waxing her board like a
frenzied maniac. 'That's how I'm dealing with it today.
I'm going out there to do serious battle with Megan.'

I thought I'd pop in a friendly reminder. 'You always
do anyway.'

'Well, today I'm taking my aggro, compliments of
Ace, out on Megan,' Georgie answered. 'If Ace turned
up I'd spit on her.'

'I'm not giving back her Kelly Slater hat,' I said. 'I'm
not. I made that decision when I was falling asleep. I'll
take it as a rental payment 'cause it was in my house
that she read Micki's diary.'

'I don't want to turn you girls against Ace,' Micki
told us. 'It's my problem. I've got to –'

'No way!' Georgie butted in. 'I'm really mad about
this, Micki! What Ace did was really, really low. It was
sneaky too. She had no intention of telling me how she
knew about you moving in with Kia. You know why?'

'Why?' we asked.

''Cause Ace knew what she did was wrong. Really
wrong.' Georgie chucked the last bit of wax into the
garbage bin. 'Now the worm will turn, won't it, Micki?'

'Huh?'

'That's what my mum says,' Georgie answered. 'It
means that now the downtrodden can fight back. I
mean – I mean –' stammered Georgie, 'I mean, I'm not
saying you're downtrodden, Micki. It's just a saying.'

'It's cool, Georgie,' Micki answered. 'I know what
you're trying to say.'

Obviously the sun wasn't put off by Georgie's
raving. It was now in full glow, hovering over the
ocean. It looked so beautiful I forgave Shyan for
dragging me out of my cosy bed.

There'd been days the sun could change the way I
felt about life. But today, even without the help of the
sun, I was feeling pretty good.