Ocean Pearl (6 page)

I was howling now. Me? Ace. Courtney McFarlane,
one hundred per cent OP-sponsored surfer and model,
was sitting here in Pete's milk bar probably looking like
a complete freak. The worst bit, but kind of the best bit
too, was that I didn't care.

The walking hormone disaster was coming towards
our table with a handful of serviettes. That made me
bawl even louder.

Gently, he put them on the table.

'Thanks.' I gulped, dabbing my eyes and nose with
one.

He stood there, not moving except for his hands,
which were twisting his apron into a ball.

Finally he spoke: 'I've – I've got a poster of you on
my bedroom wall. And one inside my cupboard too.'

'Oh?'

'You're prettier in real life.'

'Oh?' I crossed my legs and sat straighter in the
chair. Good posture could make you look kilos lighter.

Two farewells in three days.

All of us cried when we said goodbye to Ace. Especially
Ace. I didn't think she was going to let go of
Georgie.

I had never been that good at crying. The problem
was that if I started then I mightn't be able to stop. If I
let everything bad get to me then I'd be the biggest crybaby
in the Southern Hemisphere and I didn't want to
be known for that. I wanted to be known for being the
greatest female surfer.

In the last few days, though, my tear factory had
been working overtime. I'd broken my own record
twice. It was just a whole big mishmash of things I
couldn't get straight in my head. Once I got to camp
and hit the surf and spent time with Kia and Georgie,
then I was sure I'd start to feel better. What I really
wanted to know was whether I'd feel better enough
for Miss Micki to show her face. Yet thinking like that
made me feel bad. Wasn't there more important
stuff to hope for, like whether Dad would be okay
without me?

For ages, Georgie'd been looking out the car
window not saying a thing. Actually, the only sound in
the back seat was me yawning.

'I can't stop yawning,' I said to her.

'It's 'cause you've been crying,' Georgie answered,
still staring at the endless blocks of vacant holiday apartments.
'Apparently, when you cry, your body makes this
stuff that makes you sleepy and sort of calm.'

'Mmmm.' I closed my eyes.

'Are you okay, Micki?' Reg asked from the driver's
seat. 'No crying when you say goodbye to me in an
hour's time.'

'As if,' Kia scoffed. 'We'll be jumping for joy in an
hour's time.'

'Will we?' Georgie sighed.

'Hey, girls,' Reg said with a slap of the steering
wheel, 'you've got to remember how hard you've all
worked to get here. It's a shame, a real shame, that Ace
wasn't selected too. But you're in the big time now.
That's competitive sport. Ace'll be okay. She's got OP
sponsorship.' Reg grinned into the rear-vision mirror.
'That's if she lets Georgie share it with her.'

'Huh?' Kia grunted, turning to face us in the back
seat. 'What's . . .?'

The red rushing up Georgie's face almost had her
hair on fire.

'Georgie?' I asked.

Reg groaned. 'Have I just put my foot in it?'

'Georgie?' Kia was almost leaning her entire body
into the back seat. 'Is that true? Oh my God, it obviously
is. Your face has turned into a tomato.'

Georgie took a deep breath and seemed to hold it
there for a while. 'Errr,' she growled. 'Awkward.'

'It's just us,' I said. 'You can tell.'

'Your mum told me when we were packing up the
car,' Reg explained. 'Why the big secret?'

'I wouldn't do anything – anything behind Ace's
back,' Georgie spoke quickly. 'I couldn't – couldn't live
with myself. That would just be – just be the worst
thing.'

'Ace'll be right.'

'Dad,' Kia chimed in, 'Ace is worried that OP aren't
going to extend her contract. She told us that herself.'

'Her contract wouldn't be up for renewal for a
couple of years, would it?'

'Try the end of this year, Dad.'

'October actually,' Georgie said.

I'm not sure if my tear-swollen eyes were playing
tricks on me, but I swear Georgie was sinking further
into the seat as if she was hoping it'd swallow her up.

No wonder. This was not a good situation. Out of
the sponsorships to be offered, OP was the best –
except if it meant your best friend being dumped in
favour of you.

Awkward! Georgie had said it.

'So?' If Kia kept spinning around like that she was
going to get whiplash or, worse, lose Ace's Kelly Slater
hat out the window. 'Are you going to tell Ace?'

'Kia, I don't have anything to tell her.'

'Yet!'

'The OP guy just left a message. It's not like I'm
hiding anything.'

'But what if he says that he's not going to extend
Ace's contact and that he wants to sign you up as the
new OP girl?'

'Hope you like being public property,' I said.

'Look, nothing's even happened!' Georgie spat.

'They'll obviously keep Ace as their model.' Kia
needed to be gagged.

'Yeah, not, not totally dump her,' I added, trying to
be helpful to Georgie, who wasn't slumped in the seat
anymore. Now she was sitting up so high she must've
thought she could disappear through the roof of the
car. 'Just not sponsor Ace's surfing as much. So it'd kind
of be like you'd both be OP girls! How cool would
that be?'

'Wow! I'd be the Seahorse Girl and you two'd be the
Ocean Pearl gir–' Reg elbowed Kia and she stopped.

I didn't have a sponsor. I didn't even have a product
sponsor. I had to sell chocolate bars at school to get the
money together for my travelling and camp expenses.

But Reg and Jake, my surf instructor from camp,
told me to be patient. Luckily for me that was one of
my strong points. Plus, I didn't exactly need a surf
company doing a story on twenty-four hours in my life!

Carla, our 'camp mum', hugged us like we were daughters
returning from an overseas trip. Her shirt smelt
clean and fresh like lemons but suddenly it made me
want to vomit.

It transported me straight back home and suddenly
it was like I was smelling Dad when I'd hugged him
goodbye. But he hadn't smelt of lemons. He smelt like
cigarettes and stale sweat. His green Hawaiian shirt,
which he hadn't changed in days, reeked of BO and
bad deodorant.

It didn't matter how many clean tops I put in his
drawers, he still seemed to stay in the same one, day after
day. The methadone made him sweat, badly. I'd say,
'Dad, you're getting a bit smelly.' And he'd answer, 'Yeah,
love, you're probably right. I'll go put a clean shirt on.'

Then straightaway he'd forget.

'Are we in the Starfish Bungalow again?' Kia was
asking Carla like she would die if Carla said no. 'Are
we? Are we?'

'Yes. Of course you are.'

'Thank you, thank you, thank you,' squealed Kia.

Georgie, who'd been wandering around the empty
carpark, came back and very politely enquired if
Megan had arrived.

'Her plane's late,' Carla told us. 'Poor Jake just
arrived at Brissie airport to find out. He'll have to hang
around for hours.'

'Bummer!' Georgie mouthed to us with a smirk.

'Here we are,' Reg said, carrying the last of the
boards over. 'Eight surfboards, all in one piece.'

'Can we leave the boards here for a minute?
Pleeeaaase?' Kia asked, although she'd already grabbed
her bag and was running. 'I need to see the Starfish
Bungalow. Now!'

Reg watched her and Georgie sprint down the
pathway. 'Excuse my daughter,' he said, chuckling.
'She's a bit excited.'

'She looks wonderful, Reg,' Carla said.

'She is.' He smiled before a tiny frown cracked his
brow. 'Now,' he said and coughed. 'As the official slave,
I'll put the boards to bed in the shed. Then I'll be off.
Unless there's anything else you need me to do, Carla?'

'Are you offering to be my slave too?'

'I'll help,' I piped up. I needed a minute with Reg. I
needed to ask him one more time if everything was
going to be okay. Since I'd smelt Carla's shirt that bad
feeling, like I was trapped in a box, had started to suffocate
me.

'Don't you want to check out the surf?' he asked me.
'I'm sure Kia and Georgie will dump their bags and go
straight down.'

'It's okay. I kind of like taking care of my new board.'

The garden and walkways looked different. The
vines that in January had been covered in pink flowers
were bare and limp. The lawns were sick from lack of
rain. Even the tennis courts looked sad and empty. Or
was it me? Had I been fooling myself that it was okay to
come here while Dad would probably end up black
and blue in a hospital bed again?

I followed Reg into the board hut. The panic was
starting to overtake my throat.

'Okay. Where are we going to put these babies?'

'Reg,' I whispered, 'I'm scared.'

Reg took the board out of my arms and slid it into a
rack. 'Micki,' he said, 'there's nothing to be scared of.
It's going to be okay. I gave you my word about that.'

'I don't know what Dad's going to do without me.'
I tried to swallow the panic.

'Your father is not your responsibility.' Reg held my
shoulders and spoke firmly. He'd said those words to
me before, and I still didn't know if he meant them or
even if they were right. 'Okay, Micki? You are thirteen.
You are a child. You have been' – he took a deep breath
– 'admirable, courageous, selfless, caring beyond
words. Now you have to do what's best for you. Davo
wants that as well. More than anyone.'

'But, but . . .' I had to say it. It was the only way I'd be
able to breathe. 'But it doesn't mean that I don't love
him. I don't want him to think that because I'm moving
away I don't love him.'

Reg let me cry. He didn't try and stuff the space with
words. Instead he let me nestle my face against his
chest until his jumper was wet with my tears.

The three of us were lying on our beds. I couldn't stop
looking around the bungalow. It was like I had to study
every square centimetre of wall and ceiling to really,
really convince myself we were actually here. Plus,
maybe if I looked hard enough I'd find a tiny detail
that'd remind me of something really happy, then that
could become my focus point.

So far the only memory that'd hit me was when I
walked into the bungalow bathroom. If the first thing
I'd thought of was that night with Kia, then for sure it
would've been the same for her too, except multiplied
by a million.

Kia had moved the beds around like she did the first
day back in January. Except this time it would be
Megan who was marooned on the other side of the
room. Not me.

Already a mess of T-shirts and trackie pants and
hoodies were gathering around Georgie's area and,
typical, Kia had everything neatly put away or lined up
by her cupboard.

The bungalow seemed the same. It was almost like
we'd never left except for one enormous, unfillable
hole – Ace.

'No, that's not going to work either,' Georgie was
saying about the text we were trying to compose to Ace.

The message had to make her feel like we were
thinking of her and missing her, which was one
hundred per cent true. But it also needed to sound like
we weren't excited to be at camp, which wasn't true, as
dinner with Carla and Shyan, one of the surf coaches,
had got us totally pumped. Afterwards we were like,
'Bring it on!'

Of course, Kia was chief texter with her brand new
slide phone.

'But Ace'd want to know about Shyan,' Kia said.
'She told us, well, she told me, to give Shyan a big hug
from her.'

Georgie scolded: 'Yeah, but don't say Shyan was
telling us about the program 'cause that'll definitely
depress her.'

'I thought it might make her feel good,' Kia said. 'Ace
hated the way we had a strict timetable. Six am yoga,
seven-fifteen am breakfast, nine am video discussion,
eleven am –'

'Yeah, yeah, we get it! Remember, Micki and I were
here too.'

'What about – what about if we tell her how Shyan
said she only just missed out?' I said.

'That is definitely not a good idea,' Kia told me. 'Ace
might think we were talking about how she didn't
make it and stuff.'

'True.'

Georgie rolled onto her stomach and groaned into
the pillow.

'How about this?' Kia started pressing the buttons.
'Shyan and Carla say hi. Brian's still the cook and a crap
one at that.'

'His food's not that crap,' I replied. 'I mean, I have
tasted –'

Suddenly Georgie sat up. 'Shhh!' She jumped off the
bed and opened the door.

'What?' said Kia.

'Shhh!'

'What!' Kia and I crept up behind her. 'What?'

'She's just arrived,' Georgie whispered.

'How do you know?' I asked, glancing out the door
but seeing only darkness.

'I heard the car pull up,' she answered. 'Shh.'

One car door slammed followed by a second one.

'So what do we do now?' I asked.

'Nothing,' Kia said, climbing back onto her bed. 'The
big zero.'

'Nothing?' I repeated.

'That's right,' Georgie said, draping her arm around
me and squeezing my shoulder a bit too hard.
'Absolutely nothing, Miss Micki.'

My head nestled into Georgie's shoulder. At that
moment I couldn't have cared if Kelly Slater had just
arrived at surf camp. I was busy soaking up the words
'Miss Micki'.

It wasn't even twenty-four hours and I missed Ace badly.
For all the obvious reasons but also 'cause it meant
pairing up with Megan in the first gym session. Megan
was here for me to compete against, not become gym
buddies with.

As the session progressed, the awful realisation
drilled a hole through my brain. This arrangement of
me and Megan was going to be permanent. At least for
the next two weeks I had to focus on psyching her out
at every opportunity I had.

But it was hard when Megan and I were linked
together at the feet like Siamese twins, doing sit-ups
and passing a medicine ball to each other. Especially
when Megan was chucking it at me like it was a ball
made of sponge rather than the slab of lead it felt like.
Thankfully I was managing to catch it 'cause if I
dropped it I'd crush my chest and then I wouldn't get
to have my revenge in the surf.

For once, Ace hadn't exaggerated and I wished she
had. Megan was
big
. Really big. Like buff big. Her
shoulders had suddenly got so broad she looked like a
bloke from behind.

The only positive thing I could squeeze out of it was
that she made me look good – light, slim, almost girly!

'Hey, Megan.' Finally Jake heard my grunts. 'Easy
with the medicine ball.'

'She's trying to kill me,' I puffed. 'How come we're
using a ten-kilo one for sit-ups? I thought that was for
the blokes?'

'That's not a ten-kilo ball, is it?' Jake asked, taking it
out of Megan's hands. 'No, you shouldn't be using that
one. It's too heavy for this exercise.'

'I told you,' I spat at Megan as my back collapsed
onto the floor.

'Are you out of condition, Georgie?' She smirked as
I rolled around like a potato, holding my stomach and
groaning.

'I wasn't five minutes ago.'

Kia and Micki were taking turns boxing with Shyan.
Kia was packing the punches. Left, right. Right, right,
left.

'C'mon Georgie,' Megan hassled, shoving another
piece of chewing gum into her ugly mouth. She was
looking down at my sprawled-out body. 'Let's have a
box. Up you get, slow coach.'

'Piss off,' I sneered through my teeth.

Just two more hours to bear then there was lunch
and a free afternoon. Not that it was really a free afternoon
for me. I had to meet Jules at two pm to hand
over the photo album Ace had put together for him.

'Are we bringing a glass cabinet for it too?' I'd joked
to Ace, as she wouldn't let anyone other than Micki
carry it in their bag. 'Just say the album accidentally
touches Micki's underpants? I mean, it's a risk just
letting it roll around uncovered in Micki's bag.
Oooooh, it might get a germ!'

'Ha ha,' Ace replied. 'Anyway, I trust Micki's undies
more than I'd trust yours.'

Ace's arms were wrapped around the book of
photos. She was clutching it to her chest like it was a
baby she didn't want to let go of.

'Where's Micki's bag?'

'She just took it downstairs,' I answered. It was
only Ace and me left in Kia's room. 'C'mon, just put it
in my bag.'

'No. No, I want Micki to pack it in her bag. Her bag's
so clean and tidy.' Ace's voice was shaking and a quietness
was slowly starting to strangle it. She still held the
album tight against her ribs. 'Your bag's too jam-packed.
It'll get squashed in there.'

Something told me joke time was over. 'Ace, I
promise I'll get it to Jules in one piece.'

'I was looking at the photos while you were in the
shower,' Ace began. I took a step closer to catch what
she was saying. 'Sometimes I look at that girl and I
don't even know who she is.'

'She's you, Ace.'

'She's pretty and she's smiling and she's happy –
successful. She has everything.'

'You're still all those things.'

'I know you think that this album is stupid. But I
want Jules to think of me as the girl in here. He doesn't
know this one. The one I am now,' Ace explained in the
tiniest of whispers. 'I've been very careful about him
not spending too much time with this one. That's why I
want Jules to have the album. When you give it to him,
tell Jules I said it's a little book of memories. So that –
that he doesn't miss "us" too much. Okay?'

I nodded.

'Soon I'll have my act together and my hair will have
grown back and Jules will never have known any of this.'

I sighed. I'd been holding my breath. Holding it so
that Ace could get those words out and I could hear
them. 'You can count on me.'

Kia and Micki weren't coming to meet Jules. Their
excuse was they were 'too embaaaarrassed', which was
totally pathetic. But I was happier going on my own
'cause I was the only one who knew how important
this was to Ace. The other two'd probably blow it.

The first time I saw Jules was back in January at the
sushi train restaurant. That was the night Ace fell in
lurve with him. But I'd actually only met him once, on
the last day of camp.

Ace had arranged for me to meet him today at the
huge rock down the southern end of Coolina beach.
Apparently this was their special place.

I was feeling like the worst possible substitute for
Ace, because I was. I was like some bad impostor who
didn't even vaguely resemble the person they were
trying to be.

Slim – stocky; tanned – pale; cascading blonde hair –
short, puffy strawberry-blonde hair; long legs – tree
trunks; stunning – can be pretty with enormous effort.
I'll end the list there and just say that standing around
waiting for Jules was – awkward.

Oh my God, it became more awkward as a pair of
the most amazing crystal blue eyes came towards me.
They were attached to a face, Jules's face, but they
were so incredible it was as if they had a life of their
own.

Stupid, stupid me! I had managed to forget how
good looking Jules was and now it was too late to leave
Ace's photo album by the rock and run.

I tucked my hair behind my ears, took a deep breath
and waved back to him.

'Hi, Georgie.' Another thing about Jules that Ace
totally fell for was that he had a Canadian accent.
Personally, I didn't think Jules needed to open his
mouth for a girl to fall for him. 'Thanks for meeting me.'

''S'kay.'

Jules began to climb up the rock. Was I meant to
follow? Ace's instructions didn't include climbing up
too.

'You want a hand?' he called down to me.

''S'kay,' I said, shoving the photo album under my
arm and hoping beyond hope that I didn't drop it into
the surf below.

At the very top, Jules was stretching and taking deep
breaths. 'I love it up here,' he told me. 'I tell my mates
back home that I can stand on a rock and see another
state of Australia.'

'Yeah,' I agreed. 'It's a shame it's the ugly high-rises
on the Gold Coast though.'

'I don't tell them that,' he laughed. 'They think I can
see kangaroos and koalas from up here.'

'You probably could have, once,' I said, looking for a
bit of flat rock that was big enough to hold my bum.
'They would've been out there for sure.'

'Hey, that's what I think about every time I'm up
here. What it would've been like once.'

'I hate that big cloud of pollution hanging over the
buildings. It's like, yuck.'

'Please don't think I'm rude, Georgie, but I hate the
Gold Coast full stop. Ace loves it with all the cafes and
nightclubs but the main beach? No way. This beach is
what I call beautiful.'

'Yeah, it is,' I agreed. 'It's a great break too. That's
probably why they made the national surf headquarters
here. Up the north end, where we are, there's a
perfect left that just goes forever.'

'You know, I haven't even had a surf here.'

'Noooo!' I went to punch Jules but luckily remembered
where I was and who I was talking to. 'You're
kidding. You haven't had a surf? You've been here six
months.'

'Ace kept promising to take me after your camp
ended but we just kind of never got around to it and
now it's winter.'

'So?'

'I don't have a wetsuit. I came here to play baseball,
Georgie.'

'But you can't go back to Canada without having a
surf! You'll be arrested on arrival.'

'I agree!'

'You can use my wetsuit. It'll fit you.' Oh my God,
please tell me I didn't just say that. But I had because
Jules was smiling and going, 'Really?'

'Yeah.'
Please don't do your tomato face
, my head was
screaming. 'It'll be a bit short on your legs.'

'I can live with that.'

'Okay.'

'So what's that big book you've brought up here?
Is that what I've been summoned for?' he asked. 'I'm
impressed that you can rock climb with one hand. I
pretty much have to carry Ace up here.'

'Lucky for you, you didn't have to carry me up,'
I joked.

'Hah!' Jules grinned at me. 'I bet I could.'

My tomato face threatened to appear again.

I handed the album to Jules. 'Ace said to say, "It's a
book of memories for you." Something corny like that.
You know how she's been really busy lately. She
doesn't want you to forget her. Like, you know how
forgettable she is! She's mad, that girl!'

Jules was flipping through the pages, scanning each
one a little faster than the page before. He was looking
for something. You could tell.

'It's good, isn't it?' I said. I was waiting for the big
smile and 'Wow' so I could report it back to Ace. 'She's
so pretty, isn't she?'

'They're all modelling shots?'

Jules was already back at the beginning, this time
turning each page very slowly.

'Sorry, I thought . . .' He shrugged. 'It doesn't
matter.'

'Oh?'

Jules closed it up.

Silence.

Never before had I had such an overwhelming urge
to climb down a rock at record speed. Even jump, if
that was the quickest way to safety. The longer I stayed
up here with Jules the more fiddling with the truth
I'd have to do. 'Yeah, Ace, he loved the album. You
should've seen his face when he opened the first page.
He almost looked like he was about to cry. He said it's
the best thing anyone's ever given him.'

I stood up and stretched. That way I didn't have to
look at Jules's gloomy face staring out to sea. 'I better
get going.'

'Okay.'

No offer of a hand this time.

'Well, see you, Jules.'

I scaled down that rock like I was an abseiler in the
Olympics. Was it good to feel land under my feet! My
legs wanted to burst into a run so I could get the hell
away from there but my brain told them that'd look too
obvious. Instead, I started a casual stroll.

'Geeeeoooorgie!'

Jules was standing at the top waving his arms. 'You
promised you'd take me for a surf.'

No, I didn't. I said you could wear my wetsuit
. 'Okay,'
I called back.

'I know where to find you!'

I waved as my casual stroll picked up its pace.

There were six missed calls, two messages and three
texts from Ace. But then I hadn't been up to the
bungalow for the last two and a half hours and that's
where my phone had been waiting.

I'd been avoiding it, hanging down at the surf shed
with Jake, waxing my boards and chatting.

Last night, when Carla asked if we had any questions,
my mind went blank. Now I had about a
hundred to ask. Mostly they were about when the
other girls arrived 'cause my head was in operation
mode – that being Operation Get Megan Out of Our
Bungalow Quick!

It didn't look like happening anytime soon. I
should've read the training camp booklet. It'd been
next to my bed for the last three months.

This week was just us four, or as Jake now referred
to us, 'group one'.

'Just us four!' I screamed in his face before calming
down and adding, 'I thought there'd be eight girls
here?'

But because three of the other four girls were from
Victoria, they'd had their first week here last month as
it fitted in better with their school holidays.

Jake had explained it like it was the best idea ever. 'It
made sense to put the other girl from Sydney with
group two because you girls in group one all knew
each other.'

Each time Jake said 'group one', I'd feel myself
flinch. I was so used to him calling us the Starfish
Sisters.

'Then next week' – Jake put on his super-serious
face and voice – 'group two will join us. There's some
big talent in that group, Georgie, and that week's the
last chance for you to show us your stuff. After that, the
Australian Junior Female Surfing Team is announced
and that's final. Not negotiable.'

'Kia and I know Steph and Jussie.' But it was too late
to tell Jake about the two girls from Bells Beach,
Victoria, who Kia and I said g'day to at surf contests.
We were stuck with Megan for this week and the next.
We three and her, like one happy family, otherwise
known as group one.

Jake read my mind. 'Georgie, you have to move on,'
he said. 'The Starfish Sisters were fantastic. That camp
in January was one of the best ever – and I've been at
most of them too. But it's over. You're minus one
starfish and that means –'

'Ace is a reserve.' I couldn't stop myself from
saying it.

Jake looked at me as if to say, 'Who are you kidding?'
But he didn't know what it was like. Everything here –
the board shed, chatting with Jake, lying on our beds
last night laughing over nothing, Brian's bad cooking,
everything – reminded me of us, the Starfish Sisters,
and that hurt probably even more than I'd expected
it to.

'Megan is just so, so . . . aggro. She doesn't get on
with anyone. She's even worse than last time. Much
worse!'

'She's just pumped.'

'I s'pose if I lived in Tasmania and next stop was
Antarctica . . .'

'Georgie, that's not sounding like you. You're not
scared, are you?'