Authors: Kathi Mills-Macias
To his delight she had agreed, and now they were on their way. It was a pleasant ninety-minute drive, and Brad relished the joy of being so close to this woman he had loved since he wasn't much more than a boy. Maybe today he would be able to broach the subject of setting a wedding date. He knew what she had said about not being ready to make any plans until this situation involving her father's death was settled, but Brad could not believe that resolving that issue could take much longer. As far as he was concerned, it was already settled, and Toni was a sensible young woman. Surely she would come to that same conclusion soon.
As the surrounding countryside changed from mountains, rivers, and tall evergreens to flatlands and marshes interspersed with
farmhouses and barns in various stages of disrepair, Brad looked forward with longing to being able to hold Toni in his arms, privately and uninterrupted, while they planned their future life together. It was something they had done quite often in the past, before Toni's father died. Nothing had been quite the same since then. Brad knew that was to be expected, but he had somehow thought Toni's loss would draw them closer together. Instead, it seemed to have driven a wedge between them, particularly since Abe had come into the picture.
Abe Matthews. How Brad had come to resent the very sound of that name, and how ironic that Toni and Abe should have the same last name, even down to its spelling. Another reason to get going on their wedding plans, Brad reminded himself. The sooner he could get Toni's name changed from Matthews to Anderson, the better.
He pulled to a stop as they came to the coast road that ran north and south. “Tourist trap to the right or seclusion to the left?” he asked, glancing at her anxiously.
She smiled. “Left. Unless, of course, you'd like some company other than me.”
Brad's heart jumped, and he leaned over to kiss her. “Not a chance,” he whispered. As they headed south, the sun was now almost directly overhead, and he was thankful the weatherman had been right in his prediction for the day. Other than a slightly cool breeze off the ocean, the weather was a perfect seventy-five degrees, with only a few scattered clouds on the western horizon. The picnic lunch he had brought would not go to waste the way the last one had when he had run into Toni and Abe walking along the sidewalk toward her father's office. The pain of that memory, not to mention the vision of the two of them pulling up in front of Toni's house in Abe's car after having spent the entire afternoon together at the lake, squeezed his heart. It was the first time since he had known Toni that he had felt their relationship threatened by someone else. Until then, the only other man who had ever held a major place in Toni's life, besides
himself, had been her father. When he died, Brad assumed that he would take an even more prominent place in Toni's heart than before. He had always been so sure that she belonged to him, that their future was secure, that God himself had ordained it so. Seeing her with Abe had stolen his sense of security, making him more determined than ever to move ahead with their wedding plans as quickly as possible.
Turning down a narrow road that led to a seldom-used campground and picnic area, Brad determined to put thoughts of Abe Matthews out of his mind. This was his day with Toni, and he was determined to make the most of it. They parked in a shaded area of the empty, unpaved parking lot and climbed out of the car. The cool, salty sea breeze washed over them as Brad removed the picnic basket, along with a blanket and a couple of towels, from the car's trunk. Toni, her short blonde curls gleaming in the sunlight, stood gazing out at the ocean. Her jeans were rolled up to mid-calf, and she wore a short-sleeved yellow blouse tucked in at the waist. It was all he could do not to pull her into his arms and kiss her, right there, and then insist that they set a wedding date before they did anything else. But he was determined to do everything right, to make this a perfect day, one that, if all went well, would not end until that wedding date had indeed been set.
He walked up behind her. “Do you want to eat lunch here on one of the picnic tables? Or shall we walk down to the beach and see if we can find a better spot?”
It took a moment before she turned, almost as if she hadn't heard him at first. When she did look at him, she seemed a million miles away. “I'm sorry. What did you say?”
“Lunch,” he said. “I wondered if you wanted to eat it here or—”
Her eyes lit up, and her smile was warm as she interrupted him. “Oh, not here. Besides, I'm not hungry yet, are you? Why don't we take a walk first? I'll carry the blanket and towels, you carry the picnic basket. Should we take our windbreakers?”
Brad handed her the towels. “I'll carry the rest. And yes, I think we should take windbreakers. You know how the weather can change around here, and the wind is a bit cool.”
They started down the path that led to the water, removing their shoes and walking barefoot as soon as they hit the dry sand. It was warm between their toes, slowing their pace. With all they were carrying, they couldn't hold hands, but Brad felt as if they were joined together nonetheless.
Less than a mile from where they had parked the car, they came to a small, secluded cove. The soft roar of the waves echoed off the sand dunes that dotted the driftwood-strewn beach. A rundown shack, which had undoubtedly once served as some sort of cabin, stood off to one side.
Toni stopped and looked around. “How about this? There's no one here but you and me and a few dozen seagulls.”
“It's perfect,” Brad agreed. “How about over here, against this dune?” When Toni nodded, he spread the blanket, hurrying to place their shoes on each corner to hold it in place against the breeze.
Toni sat down and opened the basket, then spread out the food in front of her—cheese, French bread, peaches, pickles, oatmeal cookies, and a thermos of iced tea. “You thought of everything,” she said, smiling at Brad as he took a seat beside her. “Even my favorite fruit.”
Brad leaned over and kissed her. “I know. I want it to be a perfect day for you. You've been through so much lately.”
Toni dropped her eyes for a moment, then looked back up at him and smiled. “You always know just what to say and do, don't you?” Then, glancing toward the food, she said, “Shall we eat? I didn't think I was hungry when we got here, but that walk worked up an appetite. Will you pray?”
Brad took her hands in his. His heart was so full and there was so much he wanted to say, but he limited his words to asking a blessing on the food, reminding himself that they had all day. He didn't want to overwhelm her.
They had scarcely begun to eat when the mild breeze of a few moments earlier turned into a gusting wind, threatening to blow sand onto their lunch. Looking out to sea, they saw that the few clouds they had noticed on the horizon when they first arrived were multiplying and beginning to make their way inland. They snatched up the food and stuffed it back into the basket, grabbed their shoes, windbreakers, towels, and blanket, and headed for the shack. “Looks like we'll be eating inside, after all,” Brad said as they stepped inside the doorless hut. “Is this OK? Or would you rather go back to the car and eat there?”
It was obvious from the trash strewn about the two rooms that they weren't the building's first visitors. Toni hesitated, then set her belongings down on top of a broken, dusty table. “This is fine. We can spread the blanket on the floor and finish our picnic in here. It isn't much, but it blocks the wind.”
They sat in the middle of the larger of the two rooms, eating their lunch as the wind howled outside. Even inside the temperature was dropping, and soon they were wearing their windbreakers and huddling close together on the blanket. Brad decided that he couldn't have set a better scene if he had tried.
“I like this,” he said. “How about you?”
“Umm. It's perfect. I'm glad we came.”
“Me too. And we don't have to hurry home. No appointments, no worries, nothing. Just you and me.”
“And Melissa,” Toni added. “Don't forget, she'll be home from baby-sitting by five-thirty. I didn't leave her anything for dinner, so I'd really like to get home at least by the time she does so I can fix her something. Besides, I don't like having her spend her evenings alone. It gives her too much time to think.”
Brad didn't answer. He loved Melissa and didn't want her feeling neglected, but he really had counted on spending the entire day with Toni—alone. He supposed he would have to settle for most of the day and then make the evening a threesome.
“No problem. We'll pick up something on the way home, and then we can all have dinner together. How's her baby-sitting job coming along?”
“She loves it. Thinks Tyler's the cutest kid around. But she gets pretty emotional over the way he talks about his dad leaving and how much he misses him.” Toni began rewrapping the food and putting it back into the basket. “You didn't want any more, did you?”
“Are you kidding? I'm stuffed.”
“Me too.” Toni paused and looked at Brad, frowning slightly. “I'm concerned about Melissa—about the way she's questioning her faith since Dad died. She really hasn't said too much about it, but when she was telling me how Tyler keeps praying for God to bring his dad back and how she worries about what will happen when his prayers don't get answered, I hear a hint of cynicism in her voice—about God, I mean. I never heard that from her before. I'm not sure if she's actually questioning God's very existence or just whether or not he cares enough to become involved in our lives. Either way, I don't like it.”
“I think it's healthy.”
Toni raised her eyebrows. “You do? Why?”
Brad took her hand. “Sweetheart, she's at the age when she has to make her family's faith her own. It's an individual commitment we each have to make, you know that. She's been raised in church, yes, and she knows all the Bible stories. She knows the difference between right and wrong, good and evil, but Toni—she hasn't ever really accepted Jesus as her Savior, has she?”
Toni shook her head. “No. You're right, she hasn't. I think she believes—mentally—but she's never made a real heart commitment.”
“Exactly. So we have to pray for her that God will use this tragedy of losing your dad to bring her to that place. She needs that close, personal relationship with her heavenly Father now more than ever.”
Brad sensed Toni stiffen ever so slightly, and it puzzled him. Had he said something to offend or hurt her? He was sure she agreed with him, so what could be wrong? Maybe his talk of the heavenly Father
had reminded her of her own loss. “Are you OK? Did I say something to hurt you?”
Toni drew her hand away and resumed putting the food into the basket. Her voice was quiet and subdued, but without a hint of tears. “I'm fine. Really. And you're absolutely right about Melissa. We will definitely have to pray, just as you said. We've got to help her get through all of this.”
Brad laid his hands on her shoulders and gently turned her toward him. “And what about you? Will you let me help you get through it?”
The tears came then, but Toni blinked them back. “I want to. Really, Brad, I do. But…”
“But what?”
“Until Abe and I can find out the truth about what happened to my dad and Julie, I don't see how you and I can make any plans.…”
“You and Abe? You and I can't make any plans because of what you and Abe have to do first? Toni, please, listen to me. You don't need Abe.
We
don't need Abe. We were doing just fine before he came along. I don't understand why he has to be a part of all this. We already know what happened to your dad. If there's more to it, then let the authorities take care of it—officially. Otherwise, let it go. And let Abe go. Please, Toni. I don't trust him. Please.”
“You don't trust him? What do you mean by that?”
Brad had not meant to say nearly as much as he had, particularly about Abe, but the words were out and there was no taking them back now. “Sweetheart, I love you. You know that. The last thing in the world I want is to see you hurt. This Matthews guy, I… I think he has more in mind than just helping you find out about your dad's death. You're an attractive woman. He's an attractive, single man. I know I haven't been in practice very long, but I have been around long enough to know that it is not standard procedure for a police detective to spend his off hours helping someone track down information about the death of a loved one. The whole thing is wrong, Toni. It's
wrong, and you're going to get hurt. I'm concerned about you for the same reason you're concerned about Melissa—because I love you. Please, try to understand.”
She didn't answer, but he knew her well enough to read the war of emotions just under the surface. He pulled her into his arms, and she didn't resist. “Please,” he whispered. “At least promise me that you'll think about what I said. Please?”
“I promise,” she answered, her voice hoarse with emotion.
As he buried his face in her hair, he realized the day had not accomplished anything near what he had hoped. Still, it was a start. For that, and for the feel of her in his arms, he was grateful.
Toni looked over her shoulder and then pulled her Taurus away from the curb. “I'm so glad you agreed to come for dinner tonight, April. Melissa and I really enjoy having you over. Her friend Carrie will be there too. Brad is also coming, so you'll get to know him a little better. That brief meeting you had with him when he picked me up at your hotel the other morning really didn't count.”