Nothing Denied (17 page)

“Should I not, my lord?” she asked, ful y playing along with his game now. “Would it please you more if I frowned?”

“If I asked you to, would you?” he asked, and now he seemed more serious.

She understood what he was asking. In this room, in this place, when they were making love, he needed to know that she would do as she asked and trust that there would be a reward at the end. Even if the action he demanded seemed frivolous or frightening, he
had
to feel that she would do it with no question. No hesitation.

But could she?

She nodded, almost against her wil . She wanted this. And with her body, she found she did trust him. Her reward was the quick brush of his mouth against her clenching sex. He deftly avoided her swol en clit and she could see that was a reward, not a punishment. She was so close to the edge, to disobeying his order that she not come, even if she didn’t mean to do it. If he touched her there, in that aching bundle of focused pleasure, she would find her release and there would be no way to stop it. He withdrew and his gaze snared hers again. “Trust me,” he whispered.

She didn’t reply, she didn’t have to ask him what he meant. Gently he moved his fingers, stil wet from his mouth and from her sheath, down to the apex of her body until they slipped around and suddenly he was gently caressing the rosette of her bottom. She tensed and tried to slide her hips, but the arched pil ow and restraints kept her firmly in place.

“Shhh,” he soothed. “I’l be gentle.”

She again thought of that word that would stop this. She had only to cry out
wicked
and she could make him end this shameful new exploration of her body. She opened her mouth to say it, but found the word wouldn’t come. His wet fingers gently circled the opening there, pressing the tight flesh with the right pressure and she was shocked that after the surprise of it wore off, she found that forbidden touch to be…
pleasurable
. The word died on her lips and she went limp, shutting her eyes as he seduced her in yet another new way. He was infinitely gentle as he swirled his finger around and around, wetting her with the juices that now drenched her sheath and trickled onto her inner thighs. She tensed because each time he returned his fingers to her bottom, he pressed harder, sliding into her bit by bit before letting her grow accustomed to the breach, then withdrawing. She found her breath was coming in hard, harsh pants as he dipped his finger into her sheath and then placed it back against her tight bottom.

This time, when he pressed forward, he let his finger go al the way inside to the second knuckle. She let out a cry at the twinge of pain at the invasion and squirmed a little in an effort to get away. Or perhaps get closer. She wasn’t certain anymore. Al the pleasure, al the new sensations, were beginning to addle her mind and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be free or to be given more.

“Let yourself relax,” he murmured, his rough voice soothing. “Know I’l do nothing that isn’t meant for pleasure.”

She swal owed back another cry as she thought of the first time they made love. Then there had been some pain, as wel , and a strangeness to being fil ed. And yet she had grown used to it and now she craved making love to Gareth.

She had trusted him in that moment when he promised the pain would pass. She had to do the same now.

With effort, she relaxed her body one tense muscle at a time. She focused on only the pleasure around her and let go of the pain. By the time she was finished, al that was left was a faint discomfort and strangeness.

“You are so lusciously tight,” he muttered and she wasn’t certain he had meant to say it out loud, which gave her a swel of triumphant power. Even tied down, a slave offering to him, she could affect him.

“I’m going to move now. Gently.”

She wanted to tense, but kept herself stil and relaxed, trusting him to make this experience good for her. His finger glided back and she held her breath, but to her surprise the pain she had felt had faded substantial y, replaced instead by a new and intense pleasure unlike any she had ever felt. There was something about this forbidden, new act that made her sheath clench at nothingness and her clit tingle with a desire to be touched and toyed with.

He stroked within her over and over, always gentle, but never stopping. She found herself gasping for air, her hands fisting above her as she uselessly reached for more pleasure, for more intensity.

And as if he read her mind, he gave it to her. As he continued to press his finger in and out of her tight bottom, he lowered his mouth to her sheath and pressed his lips to her throbbing clit.

She couldn’t withhold her cry of relief. She had been waiting for his touch there for hours, probably since they made love outside earlier in the day, and now that he did it, it was like heaven. And combined with the feel of his finger endlessly stroking in and out of her clenching bottom, she could feel herself coming to the edge of release.

She tried to stave it off, but it moved on her with steady purpose.

Final y she thrashed her head against the table and cried out, “I don’t want to disobey, but I wil come if you keep on like this!”

His head jerked up immediately and the rush of warmth and desire slowed. Slowly, he eased his finger from her and stood up. She lifted her head with a whimper. Had she been wrong to alert him of her impending orgasm? Did he intend to punish her for speaking out of turn?

Her fears were al ayed as he reached for his wrinkled shirt and tugged it over his head. She almost sobbed as he next unfastened his trousers and kicked them away to reveal the thick, ready length of his cock at ful attention against his bel y.

“You have been very good,” he whispered as he moved over her on the table. “And I’l give you what you seek if you can wait a little longer. Do you trust me?”

She nodded as his mouth came down and claimed hers in the same moment he slid his cock deep within her clenching, aching body. She gave a garbled groan against his rough tongue. With her hips elevated ever so slightly by the pil ow beneath them, it felt like he was even deeper inside of her than ever, that he could reach new places with every stroke of his hips. Each time he fil ed her, it felt like he stole more of her control. But “steal” wasn’t the right word. She didn’t feel taken advantage of, despite her trussed-up position and orders to cal him “my lord” and do whatever he asked without question.

No, it was something better. She felt like she was safe enough to
give
him that control. To offer it and herself in a way she had always been too afraid to do. His fingers tangled with hers and he showered her lips with hot, wet kisses that enveloped her in his world and his body and shut every other thing away. In that moment, he was everything to her. And better yet, she was everything to him.

He must have sensed her shift because he leaned around and gently kissed her earlobe before he whispered, “Come for me, Beatrice. Let go and give me your pleasure.”

Her response was instant and highly intense. After withholding her pleasure for so long, now the intensity of it was multiplied. She thrashed against his body and her bounds, sobbing out relief and pleasure as her sheath was wracked with shuddering waves of release.

Although she was wrapped up in her own explosion, she was faintly aware that his hips had increased their movement, his neck strained. Just as her orgasm slowed, he let out a guttural, animal cry and fil ed her with his essence before he col apsed down on her sweaty naked body and held her.

She wasn’t certain how long they lay like that, tangled in each other. But after some time, Gareth moved slightly and began to untie her hands, sweetly kissing the red marks where she had struggled too hard and bruised herself.

When she was free, she moved to her side and wrapped her arms around him, loving the feel of holding him when she had been unable for so long. Their breathing merged as exhaustion and sated pleasure washed over her. Her eyes grew heavy and her muscles relaxed as he smoothed his hands over her back gently.

But before she fel asleep, she made herself look at him. She smiled softly and whispered, “I think I understand, Gareth. And I want to know more. To do more. To be more.”

As she slipped into sleep, she felt his lips come down on her forehead and his whisper reverberate off her skin.

“I knew you were the one, Beatrice.”

And then she was gone, away to dreams fil ed with pleasure and warmth.

Chapter Twelve

W
hen Beatrice walked into the dining room the next morning, Gareth got to his feet with a smile of greeting that she immediately met with a nervous one of her own. As she took a plate and began serving herself, he couldn’t help but muse on how like the day was to the first morning they had spent together.

Only today there was less tension between them, less fear on Beatrice’s part. Last night had changed everything between them. That much was clear. Except, as she took her place beside him, Gareth found he was not yet satisfied. He had claimed the ultimate surrender of her body, but in truth he stil knew very little about her heart and the particulars of her closely protected past. Until he had taken down that final wal between them, he was stil hesitant to conclude their “test.”

“You are quiet, my lord,” she said as she took a big bite of her eggs.

Gareth chuckled, amused by her hearty appetite. After last night, he supposed she deserved it. And he liked that she could now be lusty in al her desires and pleasures. It meant she was growing more comfortable.

“I think last night gave us each much to think about, did it not?”

To his pleasure, her cheeks colored a fetching deep pink and her stare darted away. He found he was quite taken with the reaction. Beatrice was stil innocent enough that any reference to their actions in bed or his special room continued to fluster her.

“I know I was not exactly…” She hesitated. “
Right
in al my behaviors.”

He arched a brow. “You are stil learning, Beatrice. It is my job to teach you and I intend to take great pleasure in doing so. But tel me, did you truly enjoy surrendering yourself in body to me? Could you trust me to do as I asked without hesitation?”

She set her teacup down and seemed to ponder the question for a moment. Final y, she whispered, “You and I both know that my natural inclination is not to surrender to anyone. And I admit to you that last night I had our special word,
wicked
, on my tongue more than once. But each time I held back, because I reminded myself that I
could
give you what you asked for and receive much in return.”

receive much in return.”

Gareth nodded. In some ways, knowing she had wanted to make him stop and yet had trusted him enough not to do so was more satisfying than if he’d possessed her surrender from the first moment.

“Do you wish you had said it?” he asked, wanting to know that answer more than anything.

“No, Gareth,” she whispered and her blue eyes held his. “I’m glad I gave you what you asked for.”

He let out a breath of relief, but then shook his head.

“But you haven’t given me everything yet.”

She drew back slightly and her eyes widened.

“What do you mean? You asked for my surrender and I gave it to you wil ingly. As we said, I’m stil learning, but I haven’t withheld anything from you.”

“But you have, Beatrice.”

When her brow wrinkled with concern and confusion, he continued.

“In the bedroom, yes, you are an eager student and you give me much pleasure,” he said softly. “But you are not yet mine because you refuse to trust me with your past. Something made you so prickly, so driven to distance yourself from everyone else around you.”

She jerked in response, as if his statement actual y physical y hurt her. Her hands moved to the napkin in her lap and she caught it up, twisting the fabric as she her lap and she caught it up, twisting the fabric as she stared down at the table.

“I’ve asked you before and you’ve refused to share your past with me,” he continued, reaching to trace one fingertip down the slope of her knuckle to her tangled fingers below. “And yet, you know al my secrets now.”

Her gaze darted to his and he could see she had no argument. There was no doubt she recognized how painful it had been for him to share the truth about what had happened with Laurel. Certainly the death of his wife could be no less painful than any secret she had to share.

He leaned closer. “Isn’t it time I hear yours?”

“I can’t,” she whispered, and for the first time ever Gareth heard the catch of tears in her breath. He tilted his head and was surprised that her normal y strong, unemotional expression was twisted. She trembled with pain and even fear. Until that charged moment, he hadn’t ful y grasped just how closely she protected her heart and her secrets.

“You gave me your body and I haven’t hurt you, have I?” he asked, tilting her chin so that she looked at him. A tear made its way down her cheek and her face colored with embarrassment. She tried to turn away, but he held her fast.

“Have I betrayed you in any way, Beatrice?” he

“Have I betrayed you in any way, Beatrice?” he pressed.

She hesitated, but then she shook her head. “N–no. You haven’t.”

“And I won’t. So please trust me.”

“Why is it so important to you to know what I am, who I am?” she whispered, her blue gaze meeting his briefly, then darting away like some kind of frightened animal. “Cannot it be enough that we get along as wel as we do? Is there truly a need to press further?”

Gareth stroked her face lightly. “This is a lifetime we’re talking about, Beatrice. I may take some things lightly, but a marriage I cannot.”

“Why?” she insisted. “For most in our social sphere, it is nothing more than a business arrangement.”

“My grandmother’s dying wish was for me to marry again,” he explained, pushing at the pain that accompanied thoughts of her. “She was the
only
person who loved me after my parents died, Beatrice. That is why I returned to Society. That is why I bore the stares and hatred of those around me. But I want more than some empty shel of a relationship. I may not require love, but I don’t want the animosity I shared with Laurel at the end, either.”