Not First Love (3 page)

Arthur had decided he would knock before he entered his confinee's confinement to give her at least some privacy. He still felt funny being called a gentleman, he would have been more at ease to being called a bad boy. He told himself it wouldn't hurt to be a little gracious. After all the confinee had been no trouble till now. Just finish the job, get the money and go your way, he told himself. He saw her sitting by the window with the book. He wondered if she had been watching him. When he turned to leave and looked at her, her face was already turned towards the window.

*****

Ron called Jan usually late at night, Arthur had noticed. Sometimes Jan would fall asleep but the sound of her phone ringing would change her totally.

She got some more calls in the next few days from friends or family but Jan would cut them off saying she was on vacation on a remote island off the coast and the signal isn't good there. Jan promised to call them back when she returned. Arthur had wondered when that would be. He was getting bored already on the fifth day, he wasn't looking forward to do this for a month. But Jan seemed to get happier by the day. She would hum and she would scribble something on her diary. Arthur had not noticed earlier that there was a purple diary among her books. Jan would spend hours looking outside the window and Arthur wondered what she she saw. When he was not getting updates from the Others, he would watch the screen. In fact he realized that he had been watching her every day for more than 14 hours since the last three days. He knew her routine, and he knew her conversations. Especially with Ron. She was such a hopelessly romantic girl believing in impractical fairy tale romances. He never liked Ron, nor did he dislike him, as little as he had seen him. In fact, Ron seemed the kind of person who has no guts, posed no threat and tried to be play safe in every side. 

*****

Jan was leaning on the window. The inside was hot and the wind blowing in was cooler. She saw a group of ducks flying away in a V formation. Then another group flew off. Her eyes tried to follow them as far as she could. She had been standing for half an hour looking outside, she went and got a chair beside the window. Instead of sitting on the chair, Jan thought of getting up on the ledge. the view would be better and the seating fun. She climbed and placed her legs on the outside. It was a straight drop from there, hundreds of feet down. But it didn't scare her, she was excited.

Arthur was typing a on chat when he glanced at the screen. Seeing Jan he dashed at the stairway. What the hell was she doing? Climbing the stairs two at a time, he rushed through the door. Jan turned alarmed at the sudden entry just too quickly and she went precariously close to the edge. Arthur didn't waste a second and jumped towards the window. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her back. Jan then realized how deep in trouble she was, one more inch and there was nothing to hold on from slipping down hundreds of feet. Arthur pulled her back and then both fell on the floor.

"What the hell were you up to?" Arthur resisted his urge to shout but the anger was more apparent. Jan sat panting. She was shocked as well. Everything happened so fast. Arthur sat watching her catch her breath. This was the first time he actually looked at her in real. He had hardly noticed her dress or her hair in the screen. He only kept an observant eye there on the confinee. But here close up was the person he had been watching and guarding for five days. She looked different from the day she came in. Her black hair was wavy and loose now on her shoulders. The pink dress accentuated her skin colour and although it fit a bit loose, like all her clothes, it looked good on her. Her lips looked natural pink without any lip colour. She wasn't that plain he thought she was on the first day.

Jan felt embarrassed. She wanted to tell Arthur that she would have been alright if he hadn't alarmed her. She knew Arthur was looking at her waiting for a reply.

"Thank you for saving me," she looked at him and said at last.

Arthur was taken aback, he wasn't expecting this. He was expecting Jan to defend herself or explain, but not this. 

"But what the hell were you doing there?"

"I was watching birds", she spoke with eyes down, too embarrassed to look at him.

"Watching birds ! Do you know it's a 600 feet drop from there? If you fall there it's sure death." Arthur was infuriated. 

“I am sorry Arthur.”

"You know what trouble it would cause for Zilo and me if we had to deal with a dead body? The cops would be here. Zilo would never get his money back. Come back to the real world, don’t act stupid", Arthur said with as much meanness as he could muster. It was important to get this through her.

"Don't tell Zilo about this, please Arthur? He is already doing much I don't want to bother him anymore. Don't worry I will not do anything to get Zilo or you into any trouble. I am thankful to you for saving my life. Now you may leave." Jan had looked straight into Arthur's eyes and said this.

Arthur turned and left without a word.

*****

Arthur was restless. He felt anger, guilt and humiliation all together. Furious for Jan's foolishness, guilt for being so mean to her and it hurt his pride when she told him to leave. He couldn't forget her eyes, the way it spoke of hurt and indignation. He knew he had scared her and the situation wouldn’t have turned so risky if he hadn’t rushed in like that. 

He would have to tell Zilo about it no matter what she said. It was his job to do and he had never disappointed Zilo. He didn’t want to. Zilo paid well and it suited Arthur. He would get time and resources for his real job.

Arthur was in the middle of a chat when he had run to Jan. He was talking to a member of the Others. There was trouble brewing and it was spreading faster than he thought. He may not be able stay guard for the remaining 25 days. He would have to talk to Zilo. Zilo would understand. Arthur had saved his life once.

He picked up his cell to call Zilo. He would tell him about Jan. He dialled the number and waited for him to pick up.

A woman’s voice replied, “Jan here, what is it Arthur?”

Arthur didn’t know what to say. He had dialled Jan’s number instead of calling Zilo.

Arthur never made mistakes, never. But today he did.

Now he had to say something to not look foolish.

“I just wanted to check if you are all right and ... if...you need anything”, Arthur blurted out.

“No, umm I don’t need anything right now. That’s sweet of you Arthur.”

“Okay”, Arthur disconnected the call. What’s wrong with him he wondered? He doesn’t make mistakes, he never made mistakes. How could he call Jan instead of Zilo.

He was forgetting the survival rules of his job. Never act when you are at an emotional state. Arthur was still feeling restless fighting with anger, guilt and pride. He needed to center himself. He sat on the sofa and took deep breaths. Closing his eyes, he focussed and slowed down his breathing. Face your emotions, his father would say, to stay centred. Look at your mind like it is a screen. Don’t judge, no matter what comes. Just be the seer.

Arthur let the thoughts flow. Images begun to flow in his mind. He saw himself sitting in the hall talking to the Other. Then he saw the screen and saw Jan sitting perilously on the window ledge and he felt the mix of danger and fear. At that time, things happened so fast that he didn’t remember these well. He saw himself dashing and jumping through the stairs and almost breaking through the door. Jan was startled and she turned too swiftly. That is when she was at the edge. He felt the tension building on his neck. Arthur saw himself almost jumping towards the window and getting to Jan. He threw his arms around her waist and pulling her towards himself. He tightened his grip around her waist and Jan body was close to his. He remembered that her waist was small and so he had to put his arms tighter. The tension around his neck was fast vanishing and it seemed to have gone lower in the body.

He held her and let himself fall first on the ground and Jan came on top of him. She was soft. Her hair came on his face. She was shocked but she got up quickly. Her dress had moved to the left and the strap of her deep pink bra showed. She adjusted her dress and looked embarrassed. She has beautiful... Arthur stopped himself. He opened his eyes. His heart was beating faster. He was feeling aroused. He wanted to curse at himself for feeling weak. But it is wiser to accept things than to resist it. He was a man in his prime and it has been a few months when he last slept with a woman.

Forget the incident with Jan. He decided to call Claire. May be she can meet him tonight. Arthur remembered he couldn’t stay away all night. He was the guard to the confinee. Maybe he should ask Clara to come over here. It was not difficult to get women for Arthur, he could be the charmer if he wished. But Claire was good at giving him pleasure and there were absolutely no demands or questions from her. Although the tower building was away from the town and more into the woods, the distance was not too much. He was thinking what to tell Claire when he heard the sound of a motor. It was the delivery boy.

Jan wished Arthur forgot today’s incident. She didn’t want Zilo or Ron to know of it. Ron would surely create a ruckus out of it. She waited for Arthur to come. She felt quite happy to hear the sound of the latch and knocking.

“Arthur”, Jan took the food from it and kept it on the table. She took a chair and told him to sit. She needed to talk. Warily, Arthur took the seat.  

“Arthur, I don’t want to let Zilo or Ron know about what happened today. Trust me if it will save a lot of trouble. Can you please do that for me?”

Arthur admired her frankness. She looked tensed and he felt pity towards her.

“Don’t do that again,” he said. It was so closed up here for Jan, he should show her some empathy.

“Thanks”, she said heaving out a big sigh. He could see she was relieved and her body language changed.

“I have wanted to ask you something. Ron said Zilo and you were together in college. Is that true?” Jan asked.

“Yes.”

“Wow.”

“What’s so good about it?”

“It doesn’t happen often that you get to see four of us of the same college together on a situation like this. It’s so interesting to see you that each of us is so different from the other.” Arthur wondered if she talked like this all the time or was it because she got to talk to someone in days in person.

“Zilo is so outgoing and you such an introvert.”

“And Ron would be?”, Arthur asked.

“Oh Ron’s perfect,” she added with a smile.

“Yeah, sure. I can see love’s blind.”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, Ron’s not perfect. In fact he is far away than perfect,” Arthur wanted to laugh aloud.

“You don’t know him Arthur,” Jan said with conviction.

Arthur didn’t have to know people to read them. He was too experienced for that, and he knew that.

“Look Jan, I hardly know you but I can say a lot about you.”

“Really? Okay go on.”

“I could say that you like to really please Ron every time. You probably write a diary and you love old buildings,” Arthur said confidently. He had been observing her through the cam.

“It’s so ... right.”

Jan was surprised. She was taken aback that Arthur had read so very accurately, like an open book. She didn’t know of the cam which was perched high on a nook. It was not meant to be hidden but it would an experienced eye to catch it.

“Arthur you are really special,” Jan said genuinely. “You are intelligent, observant and you have great reflexes. You saved my life.”

Arthur felt awkward, he was not used to being spoken like that.

“I have to go down, let me know if you need anything.”

*****

Arthur was in the hall. Jan was genuine. She was not faking it. But no one had ever told him like that. He had saved lives before. Zilo’s was one of them. He had been grateful since then but he never spoke out. Zilo preferred to show it by helping Arthur whenever he could.

For Arthur, there had been hugs from grateful women but Arthur was not the hugs and kisses type. People have thanked him for saving him but Jan did more. She was appreciating him, seeing his light as she saw Ron’s or Zilo’s. Things like these made him tongue-tied; he didn’t know how to react. He just does his job for the sake of the job.

He looked at his laptop. No updates from the Others. Then he checked the screen.

Jan got up and picked up her light pink towel. Showers were fun now. There was no hurry, nothing to do. The weather was getting hotter and the more time she spent under the cool water, the fresher she felt.  She was thinking of undressing when she remembered that the door was locked from outside. She had kept it in mind so she had been changing her clothes in the washroom. It wasn’t always comfortable to do that, she wondered if the door had an inside latch. She checked the door and she was glad to see one there. She pulled shut the latch. She reminded to undo it after she was done with her changing. She went and pulled the wooden blinds on the window. The room got a little dark as the blinds shut off the light from outside.