Not Alone: Trusting God to Help You Raise Godly Kids in a Spiritually Mismatched Home (26 page)

Sessions

This is an 11-week study. It includes one introduction session, followed by a review of each of the 10 chapters of
Not Alone.
During the week leading up to your first meeting, cover your study and the women who will be attending it with prayers of protection, and ask the Lord for a fresh anointing of the Holy Spirit. Also, telephone each participant, introduce yourself as the group leader and remind the ladies of the meeting date and time and other pertinent details. Let them know that you are praying for them. Share your excitement over what God has prepared for your group.

As the group leader, greet the women as they arrive each week. Begin the meetings on time, and remind the women to silence their cellular phones. After your first introductory meeting, the basis for your meetings each week will be the “Discovery” sections at the end of each chapter in this book. As your group discusses the discovery questions, allow for differences of opinion in your discussions, always pointing to Scripture as the final truth. Remember to have a box of tissue close by.

Any study that deals with personal issues such as marriage and parenting will require discernment and sensitivity on the part of the leader. Be aware that some women in your group will struggle with the concept (or label) of being mismatched. You can also expect to have women join your group who, although their husbands are professed believers, may be uncertain of their spouses’ faith condition. And welcome with open arms women who are divorced and single mothers. Make each one welcome regardless of her spouse’s faith. Your group was hand selected by God, and you can expect Him to change lives.

Thank you for giving of yourself to others for the glory of God.

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant!’” (Matt. 25:23).

Introduction: Your First Meeting

• Consider having beverages available, as well as nametags. Also have copies of the Member Class Form (at the end of this book) prepared to hand out.
  
• Welcome the women, and get to know them as they arrive.
  
• Begin the meeting with prayer.
  
• Introduce yourself, and introduce your family by sharing a photo of them. Share some information about each of your children, such as his or her name, age and basic interests, and share a fun or funny story about a parenting moment from your life. Provide the group with your name and phone number.
  
• Break the ice with something fun and easy. For example, play “In the Bag”: Fill a purse with a variety of items, such as keys, nail polish, dental floss, a small Bible, a cross, a pacifier, a pack of tissues, a candy bar, a cell phone, crayons, etc. Be creative. Give each woman the opportunity to place her hand in the purse for 15 seconds and, when the time is up, to write down as many items as she can remember feeling. The woman who remembers the most items wins a prize.
  
• Ask each attendee to share about her children’s ages, genders, names, etc. Ask them to bring a photo of their children to next week’s study if they don’t have photos with them in their handbag.
  
• Review the schedule of your study—times, dates and other information, such as a snack schedule if applicable. Review the study format. As the group leader, we suggest that you highlight key concepts from the chapter and discuss these. Then review the study questions with the group. Conclude with prayer. Ask the women for prayer requests. One way to do this would be to pass out 3x5 cards and have each woman write out her requests, then pass her card to the neighbor on her right so that the person can pray over her requests for the week.
  
• Remind your group why they are there: to study the Bible, to grow in their relationship with Christ, to build relationships with each other, to share and grow in a safe community in which they can encourage one another as mothers and, ultimately, to instill faith in Christ in their children.
  
• Make a copy of the Small Group Agreement (at the end of this book), and review it with the women.
  
• Have the ladies complete the Member Class Form and then turn it into the leader.
  
• Pass out the books, and assign the first chapter reading and questions that follow.
  
• Time permitting, ask the participants about their hopes and expectations regarding this study.
  
• Pray and then close the meeting.
  

Chapter 1: Extraordinary Kids

Be intentional about welcoming each woman as she comes in, and give hugs and smiles as needed. Sometimes newcomers can associate an overlooked greeting as a rejection or as a sign that they don’t fit in.

Begin your session with prayer, inviting the Holy Spirit into your study group. Take a moment to share any family photos the women brought with them this week. Encourage the women to become familiar with each other’s children and to pray for one another’s families.

In this session you may want to offer an overview of the study’s content. Review the discovery at the end of chapter 1, and encourage your participants, if they are comfortable, to share their answers. Consider sharing from your own experience to help create an atmosphere of camaraderie and trust within the group.

As this is the first session, be patient with the silences and sensitive to the fact that in this first week we tackle a very personal question, “Am I enough?” Encourage the women to share. Guide the conversation to uncover fears and anxieties, and instill truth in the ladies from God’s Word.

Assign reading and questions for next week, and close with prayer.

Chapter 2: Heaven’s Kids

Welcome returning members and any new members to your group. Begin your session with prayer. Ask the ladies to share their thoughts on the content and general theme of chapter 2. Explore together the truth that a mother’s faith is the foundation of faith in her children. Discuss this concept.

Review the chapter’s discovery questions, and look up 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 together. Discuss the concept of sanctification and how it can be applied in each of your homes. Encourage discussion as you move through the questions. If time permits, look up Proverbs 22:6 and discuss it. Share a prodigal story from your own life or have someone from the group share one to encourage the others.

Assign reading and questions for next week, and close with prayer.

Chapter 3: Equipped Kids

Begin your session with prayer. Ask the members of your group to share any changes and/or answers to their prayers, and ask them to share how praying for their children by name has changed their prayers.

Review the discovery questions for chapter 3. Focus on discussions about stepping into the role of spiritual leader in your home and how you can balance that with respecting your husband as leader in other areas of your life.

Share some teachable moments that you have experienced with your kids, and encourage the women to share their ideas for teachable moments with each other. Have someone write down some of these ideas and bring a handout with the ideas printed on it to next week’s class.

This week, assign the women to pray that they will catch teachable moments with their kids, and challenge them to create at least one fun and spontaneous adventure with their children that will surprise and delight the kids.

Assign reading (include Appendix 1, “Rebellion and the Prodigal Adult”) as well as questions for next week, and close with prayer.

Chapter 4: Churched Kids

Begin your session with prayer. Ask the women how they were intentional about creating teachable moments in their home this past week. Ask them to share their spontaneous adventure(s).

In this session ask the members to share some of their “getting to church” debacles and triumphs. Look up Hebrews 10:24-25, and discuss the passage. What are the biblical benefits of assembly with other believers?

Review the chapter 4 discovery questions. Approach the first question with sensitivity, as women who are doing this study with other members of their church may not want to talk openly about the church. Encourage women to seek God’s wisdom and discernment regarding this question. Ask the group members to share their thoughts on how they can embrace the design of their mismatched family units at church. Help them to find freedom from preconceived expectations of a family unit at church.

Share within the group ideas to help children engage in church groups and events. Allow time as well for discussion of Appendix 1, “Rebellion and the Prodigal Adult.” There may be mothers whose children are walking through a season of rebellion who will need encouragement in this season of life.

Assign reading and questions for next week, and close with prayer.

Chapter 5: Peaceful Kids

Begin your session with prayer. Be aware that opinions may differ greatly in this chapter about how many activities our children should be involved in and about which things we should say no to. As you review the discovery questions for chapter 5, encourage the women to share thoughts and re -sources regarding these issues.

Explore the concept of comparing what is good to what is God’s best. Encourage your group to share ideas of how they are teaching and helping their children to make good choices at home, at school and when they’re out with friends.

Look up Ephesians 4:14, and talk about what it means to speak the truth in love. Introduce TCWT—
truth, conviction, words
and
timing—a
method for approaching a loved one regarding an issue that needs to be discussed.

This process begins with praying for God to show you the
truth
of the situation. What is really going on? What is your responsibility and motivation in initiating this discussion? Then pray for
conviction
of heart for yourself and for the other person involved. Next pray for the
words
to speak to your loved one; and finally, pray for
timing
so that God will prepare your heart to speak in love and will prepare your loved one’s heart to hear your words in truth and love.

Assign reading and questions for next week, and close with prayer.

Chapter 6: Generous Kids

Begin your session with prayer. Spend some time talking about the challenges of loving others, and encourage the group to believe that when we pray and ask God to love others through us, He will change our hearts. Review the discovery questions for chapter 6. Encourage stories of generosity, and as you hear them, give God the glory!

Look up 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 and Hebrews 10:23. Ask the group how they see God’s faithfulness working in their lives and in the lives of their children.

Consider a project that your group could undertake to help someone in the church or community or to help a cause. Be sensitive to time constraints, and try to pick options that will involve the women’s children.

Assign reading and questions for next week, and close with prayer.

Chapter 7: Authentic Kids

Begin your session with prayer. Talk for a while about who we are in Christ, and ask the members to share at what level they feel they are walking in their identity in Christ: somewhat, getting there or embracing the full truth of who we are in Him. Discuss the chapter 7 discovery questions.

Look up 1 Corinthians 12:1-11 and Romans 12:6-8. If you feel your group is open to discussing spiritual gifts, ask them if they identify with any of the gifts mentioned. Also ask if they see some of these gifts in their children. Encourage the women who are unclear about this topic to pray for guidance and wisdom in this area, and even challenge them to ask God to release these gifts in their lives and in the lives of their children.

Encourage the group to share any stories of provision in which something came to them clearly at the hand of God.

Assign reading and questions for next week, and close with a prayer that Jesus will begin establishing the truths of who we are in Him in the heart of each woman there.

Prior to adjournment, plan for next week’s lesson, which includes a Mexican food potluck (see chapter 8 lesson below).

Chapter 8: Triumphant Kids

Begin your session with prayer. Ask your members about their week.

In this session set the stage with a potluck of Mexican food, if it’s appropriate for your study time and place. Enjoy tacos, and review the discovery questions for chapter 8 together. Share ideas on how to make your house “the home with the open door.”

Assign reading and questions for next week, and close with prayer.

Chapter 9: Challenging Kids

Begin your session with prayer. Ask your members how they did with this week’s chapter, which covers some tough areas. Try to stay very sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit, because this may be a time for some women in your group to open up about struggles they are having but haven’t felt they could share openly in other venues. Have tissues and hugs ready!

Ask the group what they thought of Kendra’s story. Review the discovery questions for chapter 9. Compile a list of ideas that the woman come up with from question number four, and make a handout to give to your group members the following week. These ideas may even spur more.

Encourage the women also to have a prayer partner or a mentor whom they can talk to and pray with as they walk through any trial or challenge they are facing with their child. If you as the leader know of women in your church who can step into this role, prayerfully consider how to help the ladies in your group make connections with these women.

Assign reading and questions for next week, and close with a prayer that God’s strength will carry each woman through whatever challenges she is facing.

Chapter 10: Legacy Kids

Begin your session with prayer. Ask your members about their week. Discuss the chapter 10 discovery questions, and have someone in the group read aloud “The Letter to My Chosen Mother.” Again, have tissues ready! *smile.*

In this session ask the members how their parenting perspectives have changed over the course of the study. Discuss the highlights that mothers have gained from this study. Ask the ladies to share the areas that they will continue to focus on in the weeks ahead.

Wrap up your study, and encourage each woman to simply grow in her love for Jesus and to allow that love to overflow to her children, to her husband and to a world in desperate need of a Savior. Close with prayer.