Not a Chance (37 page)

When Dustin came down the hall and interrupted them, Arden looked down and was surprised to find her clothes were still on.

"I'm headed to the shop," he said.

"Can you handle it yourself today?" Travis asked. He was still holding Arden by her shoulders.

Dustin grinned and shook his head. "Sure. Have fun." He grabbed his keys and left.

Travis turned back to Arden, his eyes wide. "Can we go see Emily, now?"

Arden licked her lips and contemplated asking him to give her a few minutes of his time first. He sat there all strong and vulnerable in jeans and a NASCAR t-shirt, those big shoulders, that handsome face, and the remembrance of past love-making...all combining to fill her with insatiable, mouth-watering lust.

"You okay?" he asked when she didn't immediately answer.

"Uh-huh," she squeaked, meeting his eyes.

And then the cocky half-grin appeared. She'd missed that. "You sure?"

She bit her bottom lip and nodded.

He kissed her softly on the cheek. "When we get back..." he said, lifting his eyebrows.

She smiled and nodded, excited that he wanted her. Even if it was later.

They were quiet during the half-hour drive to Garber. Arden twice told him that she hadn't verified this information with her own eyes, and that he should try to keep his hopes reined in. He assured her he would, but she could tell by the tension in his body that he was fairly wound up.

Garber was a dumpy little town. Which was saying something coming from the perspective of a Splitlog resident. The surrounding land was swampy, so there were tons of mosquitoes in the Summer. Houses were run down. Businesses barely survived. Travis took a couple of wrong turns with Arden attempting to direct him using the maps on her iPhone. Finally they found the shabby, roach-infested apartments. Tonya's was on the far end.

"You should wait here," Travis said, staring out the windshield.

"No, actually, I think you should wait here. That guy might find you threatening. Let me go in first."

"I won't be threatening. She's my ex-wife, I can see her if I want."

"See?" Arden said. "Look at you already getting territorial. Let's try to avoid a fight, shall we?" She hopped out without waiting for him to answer.

She knocked on the door and immediately felt filthy, despite that it was only her knuckles coming into contact with the decrepit surface. A few seconds later, a large man in a stained t-shirt opened the door. Arden was immediately hit with a wall of cigarette smoke. The man towered over her, strong and slovenly but with a hint of a beer gut hanging over the waistband of his sweat pants. "Yeah?" he asked rudely.

Arden lifted her chin. "I'm a friend of Tonya's. Is she home?"

Jerry Lee turned, leaving the door opened and fell back into a squeaky, lopsided recliner. "Tonya!" he yelled, his eyes already glued to the television set. "A woman here to see you!"

Arden stepped inside and heard the sound of a baby crying. Two children, a boy and a girl, were running around the kitchen screaming and playing. The sink overflowed with dirty dishes. The shag carpet was ripped in places and likely infested with vermin of all sorts. Arden looked to the direction of the baby crying. Emily was laying in what appeared to be a doggie bed, her bottle on the floor beside her. Arden restrained herself from going to pick her up.

Tonya came down the hall, then. She looked terrible. Her red hair, now dyed to an atrocious orange, hung limp around her sallow face. She wore a tank top and some faded sweat pants with holes in the knees. As soon as she saw Arden, though, her face lit up with a smile. "What are you doing here?" she asked, running up to Arden and hugging her. "What's your name again?"

"Arden. I came to see how you and Emily were doing." Arden hugged her back.

"Oh, you were the one sleeping with Travis."

"I wasn't...back then I wasn't...we weren't..." Arden slammed her mouth shut. What was the point. "Yes. That was me. I hope you don't mind, but I brought Travis with me. He was hoping to get to hold Emily one last time and say goodbye."

Tonya's expression immediately became guarded. "That's my baby. I had every legal right to take her back."

Arden held up her hands defensively. She glanced at Jerry to make sure he wasn't paying attention. "Of course you did, Tonya. It's just, Travis loved her so much. And all he wants is to say goodbye. Maybe see if there's anything you need. You know, he had all that baby furniture and clothes for up to a year old in size. They're really Emily's things. I'm sure he'd like to give them to you if you want to talk to him about it."

Tonya seemed to be struggling with how to respond. "Where is he?"

"Outside. It's a beautiful day. Could we take Emily outside for a few minutes?"

Tonya hesitated again. Then she burst into a smile. "Sure. As long as he don't aim to yell at me."

"He doesn't. I promise."

Tonya gathered Emily up from the floor and followed Arden outside.

"Where you going?" Jerry hollered after her. "Bring back more beer!" he said as the door closed, apparently thinking Tonya was going to the store.

Travis leaned against the hood of Arden's Miata smoking a cigarette. As soon as he saw them, he flicked the cigarette down and approached them. He had eyes only for Emily, a slow, sad smile blooming on his face. Emily squinted against the sunlight and rubbed her nose with her fist.

"Aw, she's tired," Travis said. He looked up at Tonya. "Can I hold her?" he asked.

Tonya looked to Arden who nodded assuringly. Tonya handed her to Travis. Travis scooped her up and pressed her gently to his chest. "Oh, I've missed you, little girl," he said, kissing her head and burying his nose in her hair. She squirmed and he adjusted her position, putting her up on his shoulder. She lay her head down, then, yawned and closed her eyes, her little hands clutching the fabric of his t-shirt. "Thank you, Tonya," he said. "This means everything to me."

"Sure," Tonya said. "I didn't know you liked her so much. I figured I was doing you a favor getting her out of your hair."

There was a flash of anger in Travis's eyes which he quickly quelled. "No, actually, it just about killed me losing her like that. I know she's yours. But I'd sure like to stay in contact. Anytime you feel like a visit or something, just bring her on over. I'll even babysit if you ever want a weekend away." He closed his eyes and gave Emily, who was now sleeping peacefully and drooling on his shoulder, a little squeeze.

Tonya glance nervously toward her front door. Her hand came unconsciously up to the left side of her rib cage. "Thanks, Travis. I might take you up on that."

Arden watched Tonya throughout their conversation. She examined her and saw needle marks on the insides of her elbows. Her eyes were bloodshot and dark underneath. Arden couldn't help hating her for living this life with an innocent child in the mix. But for the first time, she also saw a scared young woman with a lifetime of bad decisions and no prospects for a positive future. For the first time, she felt compassion for Tonya. She looked up at Travis and realized that he always felt compassion, even in his anger. And she respected him so much for how he was handling this situation.

"If you'd like to have all of that baby stuff, I'll bring it up in the truck later on," he was saying. He'd been telling her about all of the things he'd acquired in the two months he'd kept Emily.

Tonya nodded but didn't seem to be listening. "That would be great," she said. Her hand went back to her rib cage. "Maybe you'd better go on for now. I'll try to bring her by sometime next week," she said.

Travis's eyes welled up and he squeezed Emily one more time. Then he seemed to notice Tonya's nervousness. He glanced at the front door and his eyes clouded with anger. "You hurt, there, Tonya?" he asked, nodding to her hand resting on her side.

"Oh..." she said, "No. Not really."

"Let's see," Travis said. And before she could react, he reached out and pulled her shirt up. There was massive bruising along her ribs. Travis cursed. "Take Emily," he said to Arden. "I'm gonna go kill the fucker."

"No!" Arden and Tonya said simultaneously.

"Just go on home and mind your own business, Travis," Tonya said.

Travis shook his head stubbornly. The only thing keeping him from charging the door was the fragile baby in his arms.

"Travis, this isn't our business," Arden said. "You'll go to jail if you attack a man in his own home and then what good will you be to anyone, huh?"

Travis glared at her.

"Pull it together, Travis," Arden said. She stroked his arm like she was soothing a spooked horse.

Slowly he swallowed down his anger and returned his gaze to Tonya. "Don't let him hurt this baby, Tonya," he said.

"She's my kid," Tonya said.

"I know that. So do right by her."

Tonya reached her arms out. Travis lowered Emily into a cradling position and kissed her one more time. "Goodbye, Ems," he whispered. "I love you."

Even Tonya softened at this display of affection. She took Emily into her arms and stared up at Travis. His eyes were wet, but he smiled adoringly at Emily.

Arden took him by the arm. "Thank you, Tonya," she said. "If you ever need anything, please call." She handed Tonya a card with her phone number on it. "If you ever need a place to stay, you're welcome with me for as long as you want."

Tonya bit down on her bottom lip and nodded.

Arden gave Travis's arm a little tug and they got in her car and drove home. Travis was silent. There were only two tears out of the ordeal, which he quickly wiped off his cheeks with the back of his arm. Halfway home, Arden heard him exhale loudly.

"Thank you, Princess," he said.

She smiled then. She'd been so starved for the old Travis that she even welcomed being called "princess" again. "I wish it could be more."

"Closure's good," he said. "I'm heartbroken. But maybe I can keep in contact with Tonya well enough to do at least a little bit of good for Emily."

"You're an amazing man," Arden said.

He shook his head. "You're just in love with me, that's all. Nothing amazing about me."

Arden disagreed. But she kept it to herself.

"You offered to let her stay with you," Travis said.

Arden wasn't sure if he was asking a question or not.

"Why did you do that?" he asked.

"I guess if we have to have Tonya in order to be close to Emily, we'd best resign ourselves to it. It'll be like raising two children instead of one."

Travis glanced at her.

Arden smiled at him and then went back to playing Scrabble on her iPhone.

"What are you going to do if she takes you up on your offer?" Travis asked.

Arden stared hard at the game board trying to figure out how to get the triple word score. "I guess we'll just have to work out our living arrangements. I'm sure Emma won't mind sharing the apartment with her. But you might want to be closer to the baby, so that would just be up to you. We could keep her at your place or mine. Doesn't matter to me."

"We." Travis said the word quietly.

She looked up at him, then, suddenly aware of how much she was taking for granted. "I'm sorry," she said. "I wasn't thinking. It's just...after this morning I thought..."

He reached over and took her hand. "We should go have lunch," he said.

Arden stopped stammering and squeezed his hand.

"Then we should go back to my house and make passionate love for the better part of the afternoon." He kept emphasizing the "we" when he spoke.

"That's a really good plan," Arden said.

"I'm glad you agree. We're going to get along just fine, I think," he said.

Arden leaned up and kissed his jaw. She slid her hand over his thigh. They decided to skip lunch.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Travis was getting tired of saying goodbye to Arden every night. Or in the mornings. Spring was here and he wanted her with him all the time. It was ridiculous living in two separate places. He determined that tonight he would take her out to dinner and ask her to move in with him. Or marry him. He really didn't care which.

She'd gone with him to visit Duane last week. That was it for Travis. He knew if she would participate in that relationship, she was definitely both feet in. She'd conversed with Duane politely and even smiled once in a while. They discovered a mutual hate for their sophomore biology teacher. Travis left the visit feeling as confident as possible that Duane was going to be okay. He'd cut his hair and cleaned up. He'd lost a front tooth in a fight his first night there. Duane had asked Travis, as a getting out present in six years, to buy him a gold tooth. He thought it would be cool.

Travis and Arden had spent the night in a hotel in the city after that. She'd forced him to go to a fancy restaurant which he had to buy a jacket for. But then she paid for dinner and he hadn't felt the least bit guilty because it was small portions of weird, French shit that tasted like feet. He'd have rather had burgers at the diner any time.

It was like that with their dates. They took turns sharing their individual tastes and experiences with each other. And along the way they found things in common and enjoyed each other's company.

Tonight Arden was coming over to cook for him. Which always involved him helping whether he wanted to or not. So he tidied up the kitchen for her and ran a vacuum over the floor. He put the vacuum away in the linen closet when he was done and stopped in the hallway, looking into Emily's room. He'd taken a lot of stuff to Tonya, but she hadn't wanted the crib. All the remaining toys and furniture he intended to donate to the church, but he just wasn't ready to empty her room. He still woke up some mornings reaching for the bassinet that was no longer by his bed. It amazed him how attached he'd gotten to someone who wasn't even related to him. He loved that little girl. He'd truly felt like a father to her.

He heard a car enter his driveway and then a horn honking. He left Emily's room and went to the front door. Arden was stepping out of a 1969 Cale Yarbrough special, Mercury Cyclone. His Cyclone. His heart swelled immediately at the site. The only good thing the old man ever gave him.