Noggin (6 page)

“Be boring,” Mom added, a smirk on her face.

It was loud. With the countless reporters yelling questions and the other kids looking on from their little huddled groups, it was such a chaotic and stressful scene. I was wearing one of the scarves Mom had bought me because it was cold enough and because I thought maybe she’d been right. I wasn’t ready for the kind of attention these people wanted to give me. The whole time I was burrowing through the crowd, all I could do was imagine a zoomed-in photograph of my neck on national television.

The school secretary couldn’t stop giving me that look, that “I can’t believe it’s really you that I’m talking to right now” look when she printed out my class schedule in the main office. I also caught her staring down at my neck. She wanted to notice an inconsistency in the skin tones, to gossip about the freak science-experiment kid who had just walked onto campus. Even though I was embarrassed and felt like I’d just run through a battlefield, I thought about lowering the scarf to give her a quick glimpse of it. It wasn’t going away, after all.

Before I could do that, though, Principal Carson ran in and put an arm around my shoulders. She smelled exactly the same as always, like Irish Spring soap.

“Travis Coates! What an outstanding kid!”

“Hi.”

“Travis, what you’ve done. Your story, it’s just . . . it’s so inspiring for us all.”

Then Principal Carson was crying these little tears and wiping them away with the back of her left hand. Her fingernails were shiny red, and she was wearing a ring that looked to me like she didn’t even need this job. Maybe she’s for real, I thought. Maybe she loves kids that much.

“We should get a picture, no?” She perked up, still wiping tears and snorting as she breathed in.

“Really?” I asked. But I knew Principal Carson was for real when the secretary stood up and pointed her cell phone toward us.

Then Principal Carson waved her arms out to invite everyone standing around in the office—the staff, a few random students, and a PE teacher—to join us. Maybe they’d planned the whole thing because it didn’t take long before I was sandwiched between them and forcing a smile for the camera.

“I’m probably late for class,” I said, attempting a move for the door.

“I’ll walk you, sweetie,” Principal Carson said.

There was clapping when we stepped into Mrs. Lasetter’s geometry class. Even that battle-ax was standing behind her desk and smiling as kids started getting up to pat me on the back, shake my hand, and hold their phones up in front of us to snap quick photos. I was sweating now, nervous with all the eyes on me and all the attention. This was harder than I’d thought, and it made High School Round One seem so easy. Back then I could
hide away and talk to the handful of people I chose and then go home. This was just getting ridiculous. I managed to say “Thanks” over their collective noise, and I took a seat in the front corner of the room. As soon as I sat down, I felt like everyone was looking at me, staring at my head and wondering if it were at all possible for it to fly right off or roll down one of my arms. Principal Carson was still standing at the front of the room, and she held one hand up to signal for silence.

“Boys and girls, I hope you understand the privilege that has been bestowed upon you. You all get to witness one of the greatest miracles of modern science right here at Springside High. What an amazing day!”

And then more clapping and even a few cheers rang out from the students. I closed my eyes and clinched my fists while forcing a smile. I wasn’t prepared for this, and it was becoming pretty overwhelming. Then one kid from the back yelled, “NOGGIN!” like he was trying to start a group chant with it, but the whole room fell super quiet instead.

“Hatton!” Mrs. Lasetter barked. “Apologize! Now!”

“Sorry.”

I turned around to see a skinny kid with glasses and blond, almost white hair slumping down in his desk. He looked at me with this sincere regret on his face.

“No.” I stood up. “It’s fine. I like it.”

“You like what?” Lasetter asked. She’d always hated me, and I could already see it coming back. I thought about succumbing to that look she gave me, the one that
had always made even the most defiant students lower their heads in shame. But I was back, and even though I just wanted to run away and hide, defying her was the best moment of my new life.

“
Noggin.
It has a nice ring to it.”

“He was being rude.”

“But I liked it. What’s your name again? Hatton?”

He perked up and nodded his head. He was smiling now but still looking over at Lasetter with a cautious expression, unsure if he’d be punished for going along with me.

“I always wanted a nickname. Thanks.”

“How do you like that, kids? What a
fantastic
attitude this young man has! And after all he’s been through!” Principal Carson clasped her hands together and sighed deeply.

“Speech!” one kid shouted from the back of the room.

I looked up at Mrs. Lasetter, and she was clenching her jaw so hard she’d have to take an aspirin later.

“SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH!” they all started shouting.

Then Principal Carson looked at me, looked right down at me and into my eyes, and I knew I had to do it. As much as I just wanted to be boring, like Mom said, I knew they weren’t going to let me. I mean, it couldn’t be that bad, right? So I stood up, waited for them all to settle down, wiped sweat from my forehead with the back of one arm, and spoke.

“It’s good to be back here,” I began. “It seems like just yesterday I was walking these halls, even though it was with a different set of legs and all.”

And they laughed. Thank God they laughed. There were even a few “awesome”s whispered from the back.

“I just hope I haven’t forgotten everything I learned five years ago. It would be a shame if I can’t keep ahead.”

Nothing. Not one murmur of a chuckle.

“Get it?” I asked. “A
head
?” I pointed to my skull.

They laughed again, even harder this time. And it could’ve been that they just didn’t know what else to do, but it didn’t matter. I realized, in that moment, that maybe I could do this. I could be this new person. Lawrence Ramsey had done it. Hell, I saw him in a luxury car commercial just the day before. He was cashing in on this whole “Miracle of Modern Science” gig, and he’d only been conscious for a few months longer than I had. But as comfortable as it felt right at first, while they were laughing and looking at me with this strange excitement, it still wasn’t right. It only took me a few seconds to snap out of it and remember that the last time I was in that classroom, I’d just been diagnosed with a deadly illness and my best friend had been sitting right beside me.

After I sat back down and Mrs. Lasetter continued writing notes on the board for a while, the bell rang to dismiss class, and my new fellow students lined up to shake my hand on the way out. Principal Carson had stepped back in and stood proudly beside me, even once
leaning down and whispering into my ear something I’ll never forget.

“I’ve never seen that woman get so mad. Well done, young man.”

The last kid in line was Hatton, who opted for a high five in place of a handshake and said I was already the coolest guy he’d ever met.

“I was supposed to be boring today,” I said.

“No way, man. Noggin,” he said proudly. “Superstar.”

•  •  •

The rest of my classes that first day back were filled with similar reactions from my new classmates. And photos. My God, the photos never stopped. I couldn’t even walk down the hallway without people running right up to me, sometimes not even speaking, and holding a phone out in front of us just long enough to take a picture. Then they just walked away like nothing ever happened. Celebrity is weird.

At lunch my usual table, where Cate, Kyle, and I had always sat, was full of strangers, so I took a seat at an empty one in the far back corner. I ate quietly, just sort of scanning the large cafeteria to see if I noticed anyone. All these people had been just little kids in elementary school when I was here before. It was odd to think that maybe I’d seen them then, playing around in their yards or shopping with their parents at the mall. And that’s when I saw Audrey Hagler, who used to be Kyle’s twelve-year-old
littler sister with a pink bedroom and an obsession with Disney princess movies, but was now something very different. She was beautiful, with that long brown hair and just the right amount of makeup on. Seeing her like this made it easier to believe that Kyle needed time to grow into his looks. That was how it worked in this family, it seemed. I couldn’t stop staring at her and I wanted to go say hello but didn’t want to embarrass myself in a roomful of strangers either.

“Do you know her?” Hatton asked when he walked up.

“I did.”

“Geez. Even dead people know Audrey Hagler. Go figure.”

“Her brother’s my best friend.”

“Oh. Cool. Can I sit here?”

“Sure.”

He sat right beside me, and we both stared across the room at Audrey together. It was something I imagine looked pretty strange to the rest of the kids around us, but we didn’t care, neither of us. That much was obvious. Hatton didn’t strike me as someone who cared what anyone thought of him, and I was a guy with someone else’s body attached to me and a very noticeable scar around my neck to remind everyone of that fact, so I sure didn’t care either.

“Everyone’s been talking about you all day,” he said.

“Has the nickname caught on yet?”

“Not as well as I’d like. But I’m working on it,” he said, his mouth full of food.

“It’s weird, you know. She looks so different. Grown-up, I mean. But her face, the nose and eyes, they’re the same.”

“Trippy,” he said. “See anyone else you recognize?”

“Just teachers. I can’t believe I have to take Lasetter’s class again.”

“A fate worse than death. Sorry. Was that okay to say?”

“Of course. And closer to the truth than you’d think.”

“She’s coming over here, dude.”

I looked up to see Audrey headed straight for us with pretty much the whole room staring my way.

“Travis?” she said, smiling. Her smile was exactly the same.

“Audrey?” I asked. “Hi.”

“Get up!”

I got up, Hatton still seated beside me, and Audrey reached over the table and hugged my neck. She did the same thing everyone else had been doing, where she pulled back slightly and looked me up and down, starting at the neck, then down to the shoes, then back up again.

“I can’t believe this,” she said. “Kyle called me yesterday and he was so happy. He could
not
shut up about you. No one can, really.”

“He really grew up,” I said, not knowing what else to say.

“We all did, I guess.” She laughed.

“That you
did
,” Hatton said from his seat.

“Huh?” she asked.

“Hi.” He stood up. “I’m Hatton Sharpe. I’m Travis’s new friend.”

“Hey.” She gave him a suspicious stare and then turned back to me.

“Anyway. Let me know if you need anything around here, okay? I’m junior-class president.”

“Cool. Thanks,” I said like an idiot.

“Travis Coates. Wow.” She shook her head and walked off.

“She loves you,” Hatton said as I sat back down.

“No, she doesn’t.”

“She does. I can tell. I’m very astute about these things.”

“Hatton, she’s my best friend’s little sister. That’s wrong and all kinds of gross, and I don’t even know where to begin explaining to you how weird this is.”

“You’re a modern-day Casanova, you know. You’re a hero. All the women in this school want you.”

“I have a girlfriend.”

“Oh. Already?”

“No. I mean yeah. From before.”

“She waited for you?”

“She kind of has a fiancé. But still.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“I know,” I said. “It’s complicated. I haven’t seen her since I’ve been back.”

“Can I ask you something?” Hatton leaned in a little closer, his chest hovering right above his lunch tray. “Did you guys ever . . . you know . . .
do it
?”

“Are you asking if I ever had sex with my girlfriend? I met you, like, two hours ago. Is there something wrong with you? Are you the school pervert?”

“Maybe. But did you?” He raised one eyebrow. I probably should’ve gotten up and walked away, but there was something so sincere about the way he’d asked it, the way he talked to me in this familiar, comfortable tone like we’d been friends our whole lives.

“No,” I said. “We kind of ran out of time.”

“Shit,” he said quietly. “So I bet it’s pretty hard picturing her with some other guy, then. That sucks so bad.”

“It isn’t ideal, Hatton,” I said as the bell rang.

“What’s your next class?” he said, standing up.

“Chemistry. You?”

“Chemistry. Awesome.”

Speaking of chemistry—yeah, Cate and I wanted to have sex. We were teenagers who loved each other and one of us was dying, so we had plenty of talks about if and when we should try it out. But, like I told Hatton, we just never got the chance to go all the way. We tried, though. One night when my parents had gone to this charity thing for my dad’s work, Cate came over and we turned out all the lights, and she lit some candles and put on some music and everything that we thought was supposed to accompany sex. I’d had an okay week and it’d been a while since my last round of chemo, so we figured I’d have enough strength to . . . you know . . .

And this is what happened:

Cate:
I’m going to take my clothes off, but I need you to close your eyes. Okay? You can take yours off too.

Me:
Okay.

Cate, now under the covers:
Okay. All done.

Me:
I need help.

Cate, lifting the covers:
Doesn’t look like it to me, champ.

Me:
No, I mean, I can’t get my boxers off.

Cate, crawling under the covers:
Okay. There. Got ’em.

Me:
If I weren’t dying of so much else, the embarrassment would be killing me.