NoEasyWayOut (14 page)

He pulled the nipple chain hard and the clamps pulled off
her nipples, making her groan. Then he released the strap holding the huge
dildo in her. She squeezed hard and it slid out of her, hitting the floor with
a thud.

She breathed deeply. She was sore, she was tired, she was
aching but she had never had a better orgasm.

“Look,” said Daniel. “It’s early I know but I have to go. I’ve
got a business meeting. Do you mind?”

She said quite honestly that she didn’t mind. She didn’t
want to spend the evening with him, making small talk, playacting that he was
anything more to her than a big problem. She just wanted to have a bath and
relax for a while, enjoying the afterglow and trying to forget what she went
through to get there.

“Next week?” said Daniel. “Dinner?”

She nodded, wondering if she’d be able to get out of it, hoping
she had enough on tape already.

He unclipped the cuffs on her wrist and she sat up,
stretching. Then he took off the spreader bar that telescoped down and folded
away.

It felt good to be free again. She stood and moved her legs.
She could close them again, at last. She looked down at her ruined outfit.

“I like your clothes like that.” Daniel flashed a smile at
her. “But you had better buy some new ones.” He pulled a roll of bills out of
his pocket and tossed it down on the table. He gathered up all his things,
refilling his flight bag.

“No. It’s okay, I don’t need it.”

“I know. But you’ve earned it.” He winked at her.

Did he really think of her like that? Was he buying her like
a prostitute? “No,” she insisted. “Take it back.”

He looked at her and shrugged. “Spend it, save it, throw it
in the trash. It’s up to you.” He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Next week,
dinner. Somewhere nice. Tell you what. We’ll go Mexican. I know you enjoy a bit
of Mexican.” He smiled at her and left the apartment.

The next day, Katie caught up with her on her way into work.
“How’s it going? Did you get anywhere with Ed?”

Ruthanne laughed. “Yes, I did actually.”

“He’s great, isn’t he? So, you’re going down the whole
secret filming route?”

Ruthanne nodded, keeping her voice low. “Yes. In fact it’s
all happening already. Daniel came over last night.”

“And you filmed it?” Katie exclaimed. “How did it turn out?”

“I haven’t watched it yet,” admitted Ruthanne. “I couldn’t
face it last night.”

“And Ed is going to edit it as well?” Katie asked.

Ruthanne nodded.

“So how much is he charging you?” Katie asked.

“Nothing. It’s free.”

Katie laughed. “He told me he’d charge you a bit less if he
liked you. He must like you a lot. The stuff he does doesn’t come cheap.”

“He said it was a favor for you for everything you’ve done
for him.”

“I haven’t done anything. Except just introduced him to the
love of his life by the sound of it. You’d better invite me to the wedding. “

“Don’t be silly. Once he sees these films he’ll be running a
mile.”

“I don’t know,” said Katie. “That was one reason I thought
of Ed. Apart from the fact he’s my buddy and he’s Ed the editor, he’s also into
the scene. I hear he can be pretty hardcore himself. I wouldn’t worry.”

Ruthanne was dying to ask more but the lift opened and they
were at their floor. There were too many people around and Katie rushed off to
talk to someone else.

The words kept going through Ruthanne’s mind all morning. “He
can be pretty hardcore himself. He’s into the scene.”

Was she into the scene? Was this what people would say about
her now? “Oh Ruthanne, she’s a sub, she’s into the scene.” Was she?

She liked some of the games Daniel played. She liked the way
he pushed her and made her do things she perhaps secretly wanted to do. After
all she’d been letting him have his way with her for months—months in which she’d
done things she’d never done with any man before. She wasn’t just dazzled by
his money and his status and his own sense of self-worth. She actually enjoyed
it. She had to. She kept going back for more.

And the main reason she kept going back, she had to admit,
was because she’d never experienced orgasms that powerful, that intense and
overwhelming at any other time. But she had to end it with Daniel. She didn’t
trust him and she didn’t even like him very much anymore.

After Mexico she felt he was capable of anything. Mexico.
Had she really had two men at the same time? Had other men, other strangers,
been watching? She shuddered at the thought. The man’s lips, his tongue, his
mouth on her and the way she ground herself against him, crying out, wanting
it. She had thought it was Daniel but of course it couldn’t have been.

Daniel just wouldn’t kiss her or touch her or pleasure her
like that. But he would stand there and watch while another man did it. He
would delight in the knowledge that she didn’t know that she was letting a
stranger dip his head between her legs and lick her until she came.

Daniel would watch Jose Luis entering her, thrusting into
her while Daniel was coming in her mouth. He would enjoy that. And she had
enjoyed it and Daniel knew and she hated him for that. It was really wrong and
she would never have agreed to it. And Daniel should never have done it.

It was the worst breach of trust there could be. And if he
hadn’t done it—if it was all an elaborate double-bluff, one of Daniel’s mind games—that
made no difference to the way she felt. She knew he was capable of it and if he
hadn’t done it yet he would do it one day, one night. Even though she felt a
flicker of arousal whenever she thought about having two men at once or about
other men watching her, she knew it must never happen again.

Daniel had to go but maybe Ed would be a good replacement in
more ways than one. He was clever, he was kind, he was into her and if Katie
had her facts right he was “pretty hardcore.”

What would it be like to do that stuff with someone who
really liked you, loved you even? Just because she wanted to be rid of Daniel
it didn’t mean she had to leave behind that kind of sex too.

That night she made herself watch the film—or films, as
there were so many cameras all taking different angles. She focused on the ones
from the front room, the camera in the TV and the one on in the air freshener.
They gave clear views.

Even though the lights in her front room weren’t that
bright, the image quality was good as the cameras were designed to work in all
conditions. She skipped forward until the part where she was on the coffee table.
If she could show Ed that she could show him anything.

As she found the right place in the tape and pressed play,
an image of her lying back on the table was clear on the screen. She drew in a
sharp breath. Seeing herself like that—she looked like someone you might see in
the darker recesses of the internet. It was hard to believe it was her. The
ripped clothes, the spreader bar, the handcuffs—it all looked so intense.

And Daniel moving around her body with purpose and elegance like
he had done this so many times before. Why did she let him do it? Because there
was a part of her, a part of her she had never known was there before Daniel that
wanted it, that needed it, that liked it.

When he started forcing the huge dildo into her she closed
her eyes. It looked obscene. She couldn’t watch. She focused on the audio, on
her pleading with him not to put it in her and his insistence that she would
take it, that he would strap her down and force it in.

She flicked forward again to the part where he said he liked
to see her struggle. She listened again—he said he liked to see girls struggle.
That was even better. That showed that he was always doing this kind of stuff.
She watched the screen, taking in the details of the cuffs, the bar, the holes
cut in her bra, the clamps and chain and Daniel’s tone of voice and wondered
how it would look to someone else.

Anyone would think he was a monster if they saw this—and
that she was totally depraved. Is that what would Ed think? Would he be shocked
how quickly she had agreed to Daniel’s demands? How she had let him cut her
clothes, expose her, put clamps and chains and cuffs on her and then force the
biggest dildo she had ever seen inside her and whip her until she came? What
would Ed think of her? Surely he wouldn’t still want her?

Her phone rang. It was Ed. Embarrassed even though she knew
he couldn’t see anything, she paused the tape.

“Hi, Ed,” she said, suddenly shy.

“Hey you. How are you?”

“Good, fine.” She wondered why she felt so awkward. She
caught a glimpse of herself on the screen her head back and Daniel positioning
himself to enter her mouth. That was why.

“Have you got anything on tape yet? Did it work?”

“Yes. He came round here last night and I got it all.”

“Have you watched any of it back yet?”

“I was just starting to.”

“What’s the quality like?”

“Okay. You can see who it is pretty clearly and what he’s
doing.”

“And the sound?”

“Good, clear.”

“Can you hear everything he says?”

“Yes.”
And more. The panting, the moaning, the crying
out, the screams of “I’m coming I’m coming.”

“Good. All good. So do you think there’s anything we could
use against him?”

We
. She liked the sound of that. She was part of a
team now, part of…she didn’t want to say couple. She didn’t want to tempt fate,
not before he’d seen what she had done with Daniel.

“I think so. There’s a bit where he kind of threatens me,
another bit where he says he likes watching girls struggle.”

“Sounds promising. Don’t go enjoying yourself too much,
though,” he warned. “I still want you to dump him.” He laughed but Ruthanne
wondered if she could hear real worry in his voice.

“Are you still free on Saturday and Sunday?” he asked. “Two
dates, you remember?”

“Yes,” she said.

“Great. I’ll see you on Saturday.”

He gave her directions to his studio and instructions on how
to unplug and carry the receiver.

She hung up, hoping that Ed would be able to stomach what he
saw, hoping even more that it wouldn’t change the way he thought about her. But
how could it not? Who would show a film like this to a new prospective partner
and expect them still to be interested? Someone on the scene, she thought.
Someone who was “pretty hardcore” might like it. Would Ed like it?

That night she dreamed of Ed, of Ed acting out Daniel’s role,
of Ed cuffing her and making her kneel in front of him, of Ed tying her to the
bed.

But then he brought Daniel into the room and Daniel pushed
himself into her mouth and she tried to stop him, wanting Ed instead. Then Jose
Luis appeared and forced himself between her legs, his penis looking huge, thrusting
into her while Daniel was in her mouth. Somehow Ed was still spanking her,
telling her off for letting Daniel and Jose Luis near her.

It’s not my fault,
she was saying, despite Daniel in
her mouth but he kept spanking her with a paddle on her bare behind. She woke
up hot, the bedclothes tangled round her, feeling anxious but aroused at the
same time.

She slipped her hand between her legs. In her dream she’d
been so close to coming. She closed her eyes and touched herself again, trying
to think her way back into the dream, remembering the sensations of being
spanked, focusing on Ed touching her, imagining her fingers were his.

She pinched her clit, rubbing it, a finger each side of it,
then all four fingers flat across the top of it. She wanted Ed. She wanted him
to do things to her, things Daniel hadn’t even done. Her hand moved faster and
she pictured all three men pleasuring her, spanking her, forcing her to take
their enormous cocks in her mouth, between her legs.

She rubbed harder and faster, imaging three pairs of hands
pulling and pinching at her, touching her, squeezing her nipples and rubbing
her clit, spanking her and using her. And then she was coming, the pleasure
intense and she cried out in the night. Then the images faded and she was left
with just Ed’s face, smiling at her like he did when he was about to kiss her.

She drifted back to sleep.

Saturday seemed to come around too soon. She wanted to see
Ed again but she didn’t want him to see the tapes. And he wouldn’t just see
them. She knew from what he’d told her about the editing process that he’d
watch them again and again, cut bits, re-edit them together and then do the
same with the soundtrack.

One way or another he would spend hours and hours and hours
looking at and listening to her having sex with another man. And not just
ordinary, everybody-does-it sex but sex that involved pain, humiliation,
suffering and her doing things she would never ordinarily do. Even if that was
the reason she liked it.

She got ready to go, the receiver in her bag. She checked
her hair again and reapplied her lipstick. She straightened up the apartment
even though she was going out. Then she went to the mirror again. Her hair still
looked fine, her makeup was fine. It was time to go but all she could think
about was what Ed would think when he saw her doing those things with Daniel.

She almost called him to tell him she wouldn’t come, not to
bother waiting for her at the studio. She would learn to edit herself and put
something together. But that would be too hard and then she pictured Ed’s face,
his disappointment, his sense of rejection.
No.
He would be on his way
to the studio already, waiting for her. She closed her eyes and breathed
deeply.
It would be okay.

He opened the door to his studio, looking tall, scruffy and
rough around the edges but all that disappeared when he smiled—when he looked
at her with those big green eyes.

She smiled at him and followed him inside. “I’ve brought a
picnic.” She started getting the food out of her bag, telling him what she’d
bought, the words tumbling out.

Then she spotted the coffee brewing in the tiny makeshift
kitchen. “I’ll pour us drinks.” She carried on, finding mugs, a spoon, sugar. But
her hand was shaking and the coffee slopped over the side of the mug. She
stared at the mess like it was a huge disaster, not a little spill of coffee
and a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Hey, hey,” said Ed. “What is it?”

“Nothing. I’m just being silly.” She started looking for a
cloth to wipe up the spill, not wanting him to see her face.

He reached out and took her hands, making her be still. “Now.”
He looked down at her. “What’s wrong? “

She shook her head.

“Is it me? Do you want to leave?”

She shook her head again, still not wanting to talk.

“Is it Daniel?”

She nodded.

“Look, this is your easy way out, the way to get rid of him
without any comeback. That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it?”

“But it isn’t an easy way, is it? There is no easy way out.
Because of the tapes, because…” she started then felt her throat closing up.
Don’t
cry, don’t cry, your nose will go red and your makeup will go everywhere.
But
she couldn’t help it. Her eyes filled and the tears rolled down her face.

“You feel nervous about me watching them.” He grinned. “I
suppose it is a bit unconventional to spend a date watching tapes of one of you
making out with someone else.” He was still smiling. “But like I said,
Ruthanne, it will be nothing I haven’t seen before, really. Stop worrying.”

“But it’s me,” she said, not knowing how to explain it
without seeming as though she really cared what he thought of her.

“True. I haven’t seen that before. But as to what you’ll be
doing, well nothing will shock me. Or put me off you. Now come sit with me and
let’s get this over with. The sooner I see you naked and crawling around on the
floor begging him to whip your behind the better.”

She laughed, the tears still wet on her face, knowing he was
joking, hoping he realized how close to the truth he was.

He put his arm around her and led her firmly out of the
kitchen and to the old squashy sofa in front of a projector. Next to it was a
long desk with a lot of techie equipment and an office chair. She could see
another room through a window. She sat down on the sofa.

“Now you sit there and I’ll get things set up. Then we’ll
watch together and if you get too embarrassed you can close your eyes.”

He fiddled with the projector and the receivers. “So,” he
said, businesslike. “Where do we start? Hall cam? Bedroom?”

“Hall,” she said. “Then front room.”

He found the feed from the camera in the smoke alarm in the
hall and an image flashed up on the screen.

Relieved, she saw that the picture was odd, just showing the
tops of their heads and it wasn’t clear what was happening. But the voices were
clear. She could hear the way he was almost bullying her and the satisfaction
in his voice when he said “you’ll be punished for that.”

“Bingo,” said Ed. “That’s what we need. More of him saying
stuff like that.”

The images from the hall cam went blank for a second and
then stopped.

“Okay.” Ed got up again. “Which camera now? There were a
couple in the front room. How about the one from inside the TV?”

She nodded. It didn’t matter. Whichever view he saw it would
be the same—the same images of her begging Daniel to carry on, being abused and
whipped until she came.

“So where were you mainly?” he said, as if they were just
chatting about anything.

She hesitated.

“You know, while you were doing the deed? Where in the front
room were you?”

“The back of the sofa first, then the coffee table.”

“Good,” he said.

She looked at him.

“For picture quality. If you’d spent half the night cowering
in the corner we wouldn’t have much to work with.”

He flicked between the feeds, locating the right ones. He
forwarded the TV cam slightly then paused it. On the screen she could see
Daniel leaning forward, then ripping her blouse open. A moment later he was
cutting her bra.

“Good image.” Ed looked at it closely. “Good resolution and
if we cut it right it’ll look like he tears open your blouse then comes at you
with scissors like he’s thinking about cutting you. And we can keep that in,”
he said as Daniel’s voice came out of the screen saying “like you’ve just been
attacked.”

“Perfect. Nice look by the way.” He grinned as the tape
continued and her nipple and breast were clearly visible through the hole in
her bra.

“Thanks,” she said, not sure she meant it.

“No really.” He was watching the screen carefully. “I’d love
to take you shopping for some kinky clothes, some stuff you could wear for me
in the bedroom.” He stared at the screen then turned slowly to face her. “Oh
god. I said that out loud, didn’t I? Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” She smiled at his embarrassment, her
tears dry now. “I might like that.”

He grinned at her and turned back to the screen. “So things
are getting interesting. I’m gathering,” he said, turning his head and leaning
in to the TV, “that you have some kind of device connected to that remote he
had.”

“Yes,” she said. “Two actually. “

“What were they?” Ed tried to sound casual but his voice was
getting a little huskier.

“Love eggs. He could turn them on and off. And another one,
a bullet thing, which was in these panties that I wore.”

“Mmmh,” he said, watching the screen as she bucked on the
sofa as Daniel played with the remote. “We won’t keep these bits in. But I
would love to see that look on your face for real sometime.”

He turned to her and stroked the hair away from her face. “I
would love to know I could make you feel like that.”

She moved closer to him and he kissed her, gently at first
but then more urgently, his tongue digging deep in her, his arms tightening
around her. She felt herself respond, she felt herself wanting him—but she
couldn’t, not yet, not until she was sure, not until he’d seen the worst. She
pulled away and he released her, sitting up again, turning back to the screen.

“Back to the grindstone.” He grinned. “It’s a hard job but
someone’s got to do it.”

They watched in silence as Ruthanne was cuffed and spread
and laid over the back of the sofa.

Ruthanne looked away as Daniel lifted what was left of her
skirt and stroked his hands over her naked behind.

“We’ll use this,” he said as she told Daniel no, she didn’t
want to be spanked. “And this. We’ll get a close-up of this, possibly enlarge
something from one of the other cams.”

Daniel was spanking her hard now and the word slut was
appearing in red all over her buttocks and thighs.

She was crying out and moaning, clearly in pain while Daniel
spanked her and called her a slut over and over again.

Ruthanne couldn’t watch. She couldn’t look at Ed either.

“Perfect,” said Ed. Then he turned to her. “I didn’t mean,
you know—I meant perfect for our purposes. He’s getting really carried away. By
the way, did you choose that paddle?”

“No,” she said. “I didn’t choose any of it.”

“I’ve seen them before. But if it was me I’d choose the one
that said
love
.” He smiled at her. “And I’d make sure you wanted me to
do it. Would you let me? Spank you like that?”

She nodded, not meeting his eyes. “It wouldn’t be like that
though, would it?” she said softly. “It would be different.”

“Different better,” said Ed. “Better if you choose to do it,
better if you do it because you both want to.”

Ruthanne felt butterflies in her stomach. Could Ed really
give her the same kind of feelings she got when she was with Daniel? But
without that sense that she couldn’t say no and that feeling that Daniel didn’t
really know her or even like her very much?

They watched in silence for a while. Ruthanne pretended it
wasn’t her on view on the screen and that it wasn’t her cries of pain or
pleasure that filled the room. Then came the part she was dreading.

She was walking—trying to—with the spreader bar and the big
dildo in her mouth and Daniel was making her squeeze out the eggs. Ruthanne
closed her eyes. She couldn’t watch. It was too humiliating.

She felt Ed’s arm around her again, holding her tightly,
reassuringly. “It’s okay,” he said softly into her hair. “It’s okay.”

When she opened them the tape had moved on and she was on
the coffee table. Daniel had the big black dildo pressed against her. The view
wasn’t clear. Her leg was in the way but the look of determination and desire
was clear on Daniel’s face.

“He looks like he wants to hurt you,” said Ed. “Which is
great for us for the film. Probably not so great for you though.”

“No,” said Ruthanne. “I could have done without that.”

“He’s a sadist really, isn’t he? A sadist more than a dom,”
he said. “He actually wants to hurt you and I’m guessing that it’s the feeling
of being controlled rather than the actual pain that does it for you.”

She nodded, pressing her face into his shoulder, not wanting
to meet his eyes, not trusting herself to say anything, surprised that Ed could
read her so well.

“And I like that. Not all the time, just at playtime. I’d
like to control you, control your pleasure. But I wouldn’t hurt you, not more
than you wanted me to.”

He stroked the side of her face and she looked up. He kissed
her again but the tape was still playing and she could hear herself moaning
while Ed was kissing her, pressing her back against the arm of the sofa, his
arms around her, holding her tight.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” came her muffled voice from the
tape.

“I didn’t know I was that good at kissing,” he said as she
pulled away. Instead of feeling embarrassed she laughed.

He turned back to the screen. “I seem to have missed the
ending. I wonder what happened?” He laughed. “I’ll have to watch it all again.
What a shame.”

“What do you think?” She needed to know.

“It is a bit distracting when I’m kissing you. But very,
very hot.”

“Seriously. You don’t mind, you don’t think of me…” She
hesitated. She didn’t really want to say it in case it put into words what he
was thinking.

“Go on,” he said. “Say it.”

“I thought you might not like me anymore. I thought you
might think differently about me once you’d seen that.”

“Oh, I do. I do.”

She turned away. She knew this would happen. How could it
not? How could any man watch that and still want her?

He stroked her hair. “Before I thought you were beautiful,
interesting and way out of my league. Now I think you’re all of that and the
perfect match for me in the bedroom. If I had you I’d be the luckiest man
alive.”

She turned back to face him. “Really?” she asked, not able
to believe it. “Honestly?”

“Honestly, really, seriously and every other word,” he said.
“I can’t believe I’ve met you. I can’t believe you let me hang out with you and
I can’t believe you let me do this.”

He leaned in and kissed her again. He forced her back
against the arm of the sofa, his lips hard against hers, his tongue in her
mouth. His arms were around her and his body pressed tight against her, his
weight pressing her down.

Then he pulled away and looked at her. “You are everything I’ve
ever dreamed of in a woman and more.”

She smiled, the relief overwhelming. “Thanks Ed. For saying
that, for doing this,” she gestured toward the screen and all the equipment. “For
everything.”

“My pleasure,” he said, sitting up and stroking her hair. “But
I’m not going to get any work done like this. If you want this edited, I’ll
need to watch the other feeds then it will take me few hours at least to put
something together.”

“I’ll get us some coffee and let you get to work.”

She blanked out the next hour as he looked through the other
feeds, stopping here and there with his headphones on—so at least she didn’t
have to hear herself being spanked, crying out, coming.

She couldn’t believe he was still interested in her, more
interested in fact than before he’d seen the tapes. She felt like hugging
herself or jumping up and down with excitement and relief.